I imagine most others in my
situation keep their surname – famously, women such as Stephanie Hirst and
Rebecca Root have done so, plus other less well-known friends– but maybe
they’re all happier with theirs than I am mine – and their past too. I’ve
certainly no intention of trying to deny or forget what’s gone before.
Ruth has a very interesting discussion with herself (and all you in the blogosphere) about the pros and cons of changing her surname. Now, as Ruth points out, name changing goes with the territory for anyone transitioning. The example in this case, is Bob becomes Ruth. But, what about the surname? In Ruth's case, she does a somewhat unusual reason for desiring a different surname. Go to, Alias Smith or Jones, to find out why.
“Clearly you are a woman but you are large and you have hair”
Well, that's a comment that no one who is trans and presenting as female ever wants to hear. How did Joanna deal with it? Go to Joanna's post to find out.
What if I
had been raised as a girl? The scenario typically goes like this.
Domineering mother wanted a daughter and was distraught at the reality
of raising a male child. There was a weak or absent male presence in the
home and the mother has free sway as to how the son is dressed,
presented and raised.
This is a scenario that just about anyone in the trans community would question. You can include Rhonda and me in that group. Nevertheles in, An Interesting Scenario, Rhonda brings up the story of Allison Washington, born male but raised as a female from a very early age. Rhonda also includes a link to Allison's story.
......rates of cardiovascular disease, lung disease, cancer, and
alcohol-related disease are higher in trans people than in cis people.
Smoking tobacco and alcohol seem to be the cause, not hormones. And
smoking and alcohol are likely because of stress from discrimination and
gender dysphoria.
The author shares the results of a very small survey of trans health in Denmark.
We need to stand up and against the people who spout hatred. Call them
out. Point out the hatred in their words. Maybe they’ll learn something
but, at the very least, maybe they’ll simply shut up. And, more
importantly, the people on the fence will get information they need to
form a real opinion, one with facts.
What does it matter?, is short, to the point, and well written....from Kathleen. Just one more reason why she's fabulous!
......under the helmet I was sweaty, and did not want all that sweat in my
wig. I put on my skirt over my shorts and walked through the town. “I am
embracing my inner non-binary,” I thought. I can have a skirt, breasts
made of flesh rather than padding, and male pattern baldness not
completely obscured by having just shorn my head with clippers.
Is she trans or non-binary? Regardless, of the definition she chooses, clearly, Clare is completely comfortable presenting as she wishes when she wishes.
So
arriving in a whirlwind at 3am at the police headquarters to find me dressed as
a girl was one very unhappy mother.
This is an entertaining post from Dawn, a relatively new blogger. Why was she in the police headquarters, dressed as a girl, at 3 AM? Read, Humble beginnings – ongoing, to find out.
If I'm honest, Thursday night was a bit of a wobble. It was a case of to dress or not to dress? That is the question. Given
the heat and being tired, I was not in the best of moods, shall we say.
Not angry or miffed, but just a bit, well, meh, really.
.......immediately upon sitting down in
the waiting room it became obvious the main difference between the
private and the NHS sector. It may seem an obvious thing to say, but for
the first time in my life I was sitting among those transitioners for
whom transition is something that can be bought rather than something
that is a drawn-out process.
In Taking Back Control, transition edition, Jenny (one of our T-Central Admins) has some interesting comments contrasting the transitioning process, based on a couple of visits with private doctors, between The National Health Service (England) and private medicine.
For some crossdreamers sexual submissiveness is mixed up with fantasies
of social submissiveness, as you point out, but I know enough about the
fantasies of crossdreamers to tell you that a lot of them dream of
becoming strong and independent women, not playthings for men. This is
also reflected in transgender literature. Indeed, you will find that
most of the MTF crossdreamers who do transition are not walk-overs in
any way. (Julia Serano comes to mind. Read Whipping Girl!).
As is always the case with Jack Molay, this post is well worth reading. The garbage associated with autogynephilia theory refuses to go away. In this post, Jack responds to those who insist on using it against us.
I pass better than some transgender women and have been using the ladies
room without incident for many years except according to India
Willoughby I shouldn’t be doing that since I don’t have female parts.
India would rather I use the men’s room instead.
In this post, it's not Joanna who's not thinking things through. Joanna speaks her mind regarding the person who is (not thinking things through).
I do not plan on SRS or FFS. I like where I am both mentally and
physically. I may end up presenting 24/7 as Susan but it in not a
requirement at this time. I like that I can present how I feel on any
given day. I now know that my family and friends will remain, not matter
how I present.
I love to read Susan's updates. She holds nothing back and her updates are very helpful for others. For the latest from Susan, read 49 weeks of HRT.
“What is your name?” “Heather Coldstream, your honor.” The Commissioner looks confused. “Are you the spouse?” she asks. “Daughter. My name change order is attached as Exhibit A. It matches the name on the will.”
A nicely written recap of Heather's experience in court. Was she outed by the judge? You'll just have to read, Are You the Spouse?, to find out.
.......those who spoke to my
wife in private told her how disgusting it was and how she should just
"take me to the cleaners" and divorce me. They were certain that as a
woman I would be ridiculed and so would she. Some suggested that it
would be dangerous; some might react violently against a transsexual in
such a small community. How could I do this to her?
This is a wonderful post from my good friend, Halle. She expresses so well what so many others have felt, including myself, about the affect of transitioning under the assumed burden of dealing with the negative reaction from a wife, family, and friends. Forgiveness ~ Acceptance, is a must-read for anyone considering transition.
I came out to my youngest brother last week.
P was the youngest of three; we are each 3 years apart, with me being
oldest. We were always very close, figuratively as well as literally.
We always like to hear coming out stories, especially when they have happy endings. In this one, Beth talks about coming out to her youngest brother. How did it go and who else does she need to come out to? Go to Brothers and Sisters for the answer.
I really enjoyed my pedicure although the
lady doing it was very gentle when she massaged my legs, but it still
felt good and she did a wonderful job. She was just getting ready to
paint my toes when 3 women came in turns out the 2 girls brought their
mom in for a manicure and pedicure......
This is just a light post about a girl and her pedicure but I'll note that Susan knows one of the women she mentions above. Susan is not a full-time girl, so if you're wondering what, if anything, happened you'll just need to read Susan's blog post.
Galen:
In short, I’m a 29 year-old trans woman. I originally came out at 17,
before going promptly back into the closet and resuming the binge/purge
depression/repression cycle that a lot of trans folks are familiar with.
I finally came out to my wife and started transition steps in late
December of 2015. I write a lot about various trans related topics on my
website, Trans Substantiation,
which started as a personal blog to help me process things, and has
since gone on to become a place where I attempt to engage people in
in-depth conversations related to gender and the philosophical issues
surrounding gender.
Here's another suburb interview, by Monika. She interviews Galen, who is married and has a young child. The interview features plenty of questions for Galen on transitioning. It should be of interest to anyone thinking of transitioning.
“If it didn’t matter what I thought other people might say,
think, look, what would I want to be wearing today?”
Hannah was going to enter a running event (a race, I presume?). What to wear? The "three quarter
length regular baggy things that don’t suggest anything remotely
feminine other than visibly shaved legs" or a more feminine capri style? Hannah addresses this, and her thoughts about confidence. Oh, and the answer about what to wear? It's Quite Simple Really.
Our professor randomly assigned stories to us budding reporters. One
assignment was to report on a lecture by Christine Jorgensen that the
famous transwoman was presenting at UConn.....
Stana looks back to her days at the university when she was present at a talk by Christine Jorgensen. How many of you remember Christine? She was the first transwoman I was ever aware of. I had an experience similar to Stana's when I saw Julia Serano talk at my college.
If you look back twenty years ago you will see the start of breaking up
the classic trans model. I remember reading about the requirements for
transitioning back in the 90s and thinking I can’t be trans because I am
not attracted to men.
If you read early trans standards you had to be attracted to men, able
to integrate in to society as a woman, cutoff your past, and you had to
have Gender Confirming Surgery. As for trans men, well they didn’t
exist.
I am loving and gentle. I am still wary of that, and my wariness
makes me not appreciate my softness properly. My softness is like a cat
in the darkness, pressed into a corner.
This is a lovely post, from Clare about her sensitivity and softness.
The GD is just kicking me really hard at the moment, really [f....ing] hard, and it has been for weeks now if not longer.
It can be so difficult for a part time girl. I know. I am one. The effects of gender dysphoria led me down the road to depression. I know now how to handle it but, as we all know, there's only two ways to make the gender dysphoria go away forever. My heart goes out to this girl because I've been in that same place....many, many times. She's struggling and wrote a short post on the subject. I'm hoping that some of our readers will leave comments for her, to let her know she's not alone.
Minor spoiler there, I guess, but if you have ever read anything by
Jennifer Finney Boylan, or even have a cursory awareness of who she is,
then the cover blurb is all too transparent (no pun intended). A
woman whose family and identity are threatened by the secrets of her
past, who is a very different person from the woman she is today? That
can only mean one thing.
Sally reminded me that she also did a review of Long Black Veil. Sophie's review was featured in our last post. This time, it's Sally's review.
One could argue that if God made you perfectly male or female, you
wouldn't suffer from gender dysphoria and, whether devinely mandated or
not,nothing that is derived from nature is wholly predictable,
monolithic or steeped in perfection.
Joanna writes about a subject that haunted me for many years....the inner battle between your religion (in my case, Catholic) and being transgender. In this case, she writes about an Orthodox Christian who faces the same issues but is convinced that no matter what he does to his body (HRT, surgery, etc.), he will never be a woman. Joanna links to a video blog where he states his case (while looking very good presenting as quite feminine). Religious orthodoxy and dysphoria is a good read, from Joanna. The 15 minute video blog is also worth watching.
