Feminine Differential - How Feminine Are You?

If you are wondering if people see you as one of the feminine guys, these are 50 signs that might not always scream it, but subtly whisper to those around you that you aren’t just okay with your feminine side, but instead you are trying to steal a woman’s thunder.




Nothing deep in this post.  It's just fun to read, and compare with your own answers, from Rhonda.

Is Wanting Enough?

I’ve always taken the view that when it comes to ones’ trans life, the decisions that are made about hormones, relationship, transition, et al, deep reflection is important in such life-altering decisions. Is simply “wanting” it enough?



Brianna links to a well written piece she did on her BriannaAustin.info site.  She comments on a New York Times article, authored by Andrea Long Chu, entitled "My New Vagina Won't Make Me Happy".

Guest Post From Laura-Ann

Here's a TDOR guest post, with an American Thanksgiving theme, from my friend, Laura-Ann.

 

 

Local Sacramento musician and trans-activist KC Shane sang a beautiful, heart-rending song of hope at the TDOR service held at the Loomis Basin UCC on Sunday, November 18th, and at Sacramento's primary TDOR service at Trinity Episcopal Cathedral on Saturday the 17th. The link to it on YouTube is: 

 

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7VxVbeH3lI] . 

 

I heard it at the Loomis service, which was a small TDOR, compared to the one at Trinity Episcopal; we had only about 30 people attending, but it was no less moving and significant for my life-partner Pauline, and myself. 2018 has already matched, if not broken, all previous records for the number of homicides of transgender people, both in the United States (27), and worldwide (310). I had the great honor to be one of the liturgists at the Loomis TDOR, and I led the reading of this poem by Edna St. Vincent Millay:

Leader: "I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground. So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind."

All: "Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned With lilies and with laurel they go but I am not resigned."

Leader: "Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you. Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust. A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew."

All: "A formula, a phrase remains, but the best is lost."

Leader: "The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love, They are gone. They are gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve."

All: "More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world."

Leader: "Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave. Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind."

All: "Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave. I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned."

I believe that all human beings deserve to be defined by their deeds, the beauty and love that dwells in their souls, their character, and not by their gender identity, skin color, ethnicity, country of origin, age, sex, socio-economic status, or level of education. We are all in this together, dependant on each other for something, whether it be the food grown by our farmers, the water that is purified and delivered to our homes by municipal water district workers, or the maintenance of the roads we drive on (what I spent 21 years of my working life doing); every human who lives in our society uses some product or service that was grown, manufactured, maintained, or provided by someone else. 

The poet John Donne said this in his "Meditation XVII", 400 years ago: "No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were. Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee". We are all here for such a short time, less than an eyblink in the long, long tale that will be the history of humanity on this blessed, beautiful Earth. We have been given so many gifts, of which love, compassion, and friendship are perhaps the greatest, yet so much of our world and the societies therein are still mired in warfare, hatred, greed, and senseless violence.

I weep for the 27 transgender women murdered in my country this year. Each of them a mirror that reflects that aspect of who I am that is called "gender identity". Each of those women knew the fear, disorientation, and depression of unresolved gender dysphoria for some part of their lives, as did Pauline and I, and as all of my friends in the River City Gems have known it, whether they are part-time or in full gender transition. Will these murders continue to escalate year by year, until everyone in the trans community is driven back into hiding, or hounded out of our own country, or we all lie dead on mortuary slabs? Or will the good people of the world eventually reclaim the moral high ground, and somehow turn around this societal death-spiral into darkness that our nation seems to be descending into?

Will there ever come a November when all I have to plan for is Veteran's Day and Thanksgiving, and the Transgender Day of Remembrance will be a thing of the past? I hope never to forget the sacrifice of the hundreds of transgender men and women that have lost their lives to violence, hatred, trans-phobia, and racism in this sorry world we are living in. But I pray for the day that I can forget about having to save the date for an annual TDOR service. I pray for the day when no more little kids, who are living somewhere on the LGBTQ spectrum, are beaten, bullied, repressed, and tormented by their schoolmates, their teachers, or even by their own parents and siblings, just because they are "different". I pray for the day when all trans people, of whatever age, race, or nation of residence, simply live in joy, without fear, and with as much acceptance in their societies as their cis-gender brothers and sisters. Namaste to all, and I hope for a happy Holiday season for everyone.

Love and hugs,

Laura-Ann Charlot

Sacramento, CA

Not A Life Choice -What About Transmen?

I noted also at First Event, a transgender conference in Massachusetts that they have added Transmasculine tracts over the years, but the focus mainly was Transwomen. I found the anomaly rather curious. Why is it that there are less Transmen? Could it be to the patriarchal society we live in that families have to have a male progeny to “carry on the name”. Could it be that babies born intersexed or with androgynous genitalia were “doctored” to be boys? This has happened and in one case the person, later in life, attacked the doctor who did it to them.


Emma has some thoughts on the subject.

Five Years of the MN T-Girls!

Five years ago the MN T-Girls had our very first outing.

It was held at a coffee shop in south Minneapolis that sadly is no longer in business.  I remember waiting, a little nervously, to see if anyone would show up.  But they did.  I think there were a total of four others who made it that day.  I was surprised that this little event was successful and a little proud of myself that the first event had happened.





It's so nice to see active trans groups out there.  As I've said so many times, it's these groups that provide friendship and understanding to those of us who have felt so alone.  Congratulations to Hanna and the MN T-Girls.  Go here for a nice post and lots of pictures of the group.

TransAwarenessWeek: Skirting Gender by Vera Wylde

Skirting Gender is one of the most positive, life-affirming explorations of crossdressing and gender-fluidity I have ever read. There is no shame, embarrassment, or guilt. There is no talk of regrets, purging, or gender confusion. Vera is a person comfortable in two genders, someone with twin roles to play, twin personas to explore, who is equally comfortable in both.



It's time to feature a book review, from our friend, Sally!  

Well, it’s been a while to say the least.

Walking around the supermarket in my dress was amazing, I really felt quite normal and content, like this was how I should always be. Bought another falafel salad (seriously yummy), dessert etc and did the self checkout thing, though my confidence wobbled a little when I saw the queue. No need to fret though as it moved quickly enough.


I love to read blog posts, like this one from Rachel.  It's just a description of a day of Rachael being herself.  It's what blogging is all about.  I believe this is the first post featured from Rachel, who has been blogging since 2015.

The right frame of mind

Some of the Chams' folk were kind enough to provide their stories on what they get from attending. This is part of us trying to improve our website and make things more personal.





I've encouraged many of you over the years to attend a local TG group, assuming you have one in your community.  I don't know what I'd do without my friends in the Gems.  One of the many active groups out there are the Nottingham Chameleons....The Chams, as Lynn refers to her group.   

In her most recent post, The right frame of mind, Lynn writes about her week (as we can always count on Lynn to do :)).  She also includes a link to some personal Q and A's from some of the Chams.  It's good stuff.  I love the questions, and there's even a trans-guy included.

Suddenly disclosed gender dysphoria

And just because someone has not noticed signs of gender dysphoria, does not mean they were not obvious to anyone open to seeing them. Some children repress their gender identity when they know they will gain only grief for it.






Clare discusses "Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria" and has reason to believe that it really does not exist.  I certainly hid it in many ways from my old-world parents.  Read more here.

10 Years of T-Central!

T-Central will be 10 years old on November 8th. How time flies!  In those ten years, we've had about 2,050,000 page views.  That may seem like a large number, but compared to commercial sites, it's not.  Nevertheless, for a trans related blogger site, I'll take it!

T-Central was established in 2008, by Lori D, an active blogger at the time. Lori's dream was to have a site to showcase transgender blogs from across the "spectrum". She chose the Blogger application to create T-Central, and it has done well by us over the years. We continue to feature interesting blog posts and new blogs on a regular basis.

In 2010, Lori retired from the world of trans-blogging to focused on her transition. She entrusted me with the keys to this wonderful site that she built. A number of links to other trans-related sites have been added since Lori left, but T-Central has otherwise remained unchanged, including the look of the site. Over the years, there have been several co-administrators. Currently, besides myself (located in California), we have Halle, who lives in the province of Ontario, in Canada, and Jenny, from England, in the UK.

Lori wanted T-Central to be a class act, with no ads and no pornographic material. We intend to keep it that way. There are some blog posts with clearly adult material in them relating to hormones, gender reassignment surgery, dating, etc., but blogs with pornographic material are not allowed to be listed. It can be a "fine-line", at times. Our bloggers write about transgender issues, which obviously can include sexual subject material.  The goal has been to keep it clean, fun and educational.

In T-Central's early years, Lori, asked me to write a post relating to not transitioning.  She recognized me then, as I recognize myself now, as someone born transsexual but with the will power and motivation to stay the course and not transition.  When Lori asked me if I would take over the site, I told her that the only reason she would choose me is for long-term stability of the site simply because most trans bloggers just stop blogging after they transition.  Knowing I probably wouldn't would make me a good choice, right?  Lori denied that, but I still maintain that it was as good as reason as any!

Last, but not least, if it wasn't for you wonderful bloggers out there, T-Central would not exist.  I love you all.  Please keep the posts coming.

 - Calie

Milestone

Without good friends, I don’t think I would have managed the journey as intact. And without the common decency of total strangers it would have been next to impossible.









It's been one year since Chrissy had her gender reassignment surgery.  Here's wishing her many more years of good friendships and happiness in the body she should have been born in.

dysphoria versus euphoria

I am currently well past the euphoria stage and the liberation excitement has subsided into more everyday living. Putting on a dress and heels today is hardly a chore but it no longer carries the charge it once did. It just feels normal and right.



Gender dysphoria can lead to euphoria, for some.  And,I suppose you could refer to the euphoria as "The Pink Fog".  Whatever you call it, Joanna's, past all of that and life is just, well....normal.  Go here to read more.