"What really impressed me about my friend was just how happy she is."
Our blog-mistress Calie has posted for the second time in the same number of months. This post is a gem; about one's struggle for life and the importance of friends when you are transsexual. Calie and I had much more in common only a few years ago, but she is doing what most of us cannot; staying the course and maintaining her façade. If you are in a similar place, you know how hard that is. She is an amazing person who opens up in this post about spending an hour or so, over a couple of beers, with a friend from work who has transitioned recently.
"While sipping on our brews, we discussed topics that only those who understand the agony of living life in the body of a male, when we both should have been born female, can relate to. Our conversation went in and out of those dark places that both of us and, indeed, any transsexual has fallen into during their pre-transition life."
We have hugged. We have expressed our sorrow for the falling out, and
our forgiveness for each other, and Ruth asks me if, on the hormones,
it might be right to say that- trans women are like teenage girls?
Clare relates a few conversations she has had with the Quakers, her chosen religion. The response would appear to be favorable to a point and much better than many other religions. Expressing emotions as a woman, or in this case a transwoman, is also discussed. As is always the case, an interesting post, from Clare.
I felt euphoric when I started taking hormones, but there was nothing
that could have prepared me for this level of happiness. I looked in the
mirror and my body just made sense. It was hard to fall in love with it
at first, with two tubes and gauze packing inside, but it was mine.
I want to introduce you to Maddie. I work with Maddie. I've known her for several years but I never knew she was trans until she transitioned at work. I recently also found out that Maddie is a blogger and I've never had her blog listed on T-Central, until now.
She's a wonderful writer and I especially want to point out two posts that meant a lot to me: The New Me, is Maddie's most recent post where she describes her gender confirmation surgery. Say Yes to the Dress is a post where Maddie describes her first steps outside as a woman. Every post is worth reading, but do check out these two. You may also note that there's a common theme throughout Maddie's blog and that's Megan, Maddie's very loving and supportive wife. Grab a cup of coffee or tea and take a few moments to check out this wonderful blog.
Earlier this week I caught a video from a training event at work. The
presenter - a trans person - was going through the terminology on their
slide deck. We run through trans-woman, trans-man, and along the
wordage. We get to the cloud of terms where I'd probably sit: gender
variant, cross-dresser. I hear on the audio track "...these people aren't really trans." I hit the pause button and stop to consider things.
Having
parsed the preliminaries, let me get to the meat of the May 16
guidance: the Department of State will not be sending a cable
encouraging U.S. Missions to engage in outreach to lgbt+ communities on
IDAHOT or during Pride Month this year.
This post from Robyn, a long-time blogger and US State Department employee, is just not what we want to hear.....
Sitting down still f***g hurts. Standing around for too long
f***g hurts. Stubbing my toe when walking f***g hurts and sometimes
just walking f***g hurts. Jogging or running is still out of the
f***g question.
You know I like updates! Here's another post GCS post, from Heather. I think our girl has a sense of humor.....at least I hope she does! Hang in there, girl. My friends have all told me it gets better.
I do not want to make a fool of myself, to be mocked or ridiculed or
rejected, nor do I want to be pressured into moving forwards if it does
not feel right for me, or pressure others into being okay with me when
this is the first time they will see me in female clothing, I do not
want to damage the relationships I have – it will literally be two
nights and one full day of many of those little daydreams about coffee
and lunches and window shopping and dancing and being seen as a woman in
public that I have had literally had for basically my entire teenage
and adult life coming true....
The paragraph, above, is from the end of Dee's current post. I so get how she feels. Starting electrolysis, however, is not about her first time out but rather about her laser and electrolysis treatments and the amazing Magic Cream, which she explains in her blog post.
........how many friends have I lost due to transitioning? Ummmm...... maybe
two. A married couple that my wife and I would hang with on occasion.
Yup. I had my suspicions about whether or not the lack of contact from
them was due to my transition. Recently I met with the wife of the
couple and it was pretty much confirmed that they have stopped wanting
to hang out with us due to my transition. Sad? Yes. Yes it is very
sad to me that both my wife and I have lost them as friends due to me
choosing to be true to who I have been born as.
Everything Nadine writes is reality, and comes from the heart. In this one, she talks about Transition and the Loss of Friends. It hasn't been a big issue for Nadine, but when you do transition, you find out who your real friends are, and it's clear the two mentioned above were not in that group.
How do you feel about Hannah when she’s… um… Hannah?
What a fantastic blog post, from Hannah! Hannah's wife agreed to answer your questions. For the answer to the question, above, and others, go to Ask Hanah's Wife.
It was a moment of contentment. Those, I think, are to be enjoyed when
they occur. There was no worry about the future; no concern at what had
happened; no remorse, guilt, or upset: just, well, being okay with who I
was.
I really, really liked this comment, from Lynn; written after a fun night with her local trans group.
Two days ago, I abruptly hit a wall in my transition journey. But
it’s more like that wall had a secret corridor that I’m now turning
down, without really slowing down – just taking a moment to look back,
and all around me, and then moving on in this other direction.
Why go off Testosterone? Go here, for this update from JQ to find out.
Those who pass are fortunate because they can most often fall under the
radar. They may have transitioned young or perhaps have sufficiently
feminine physical attributes to be left alone. But even they, once they
come out or are outed, can face harsh discrimination at the hands of a
society who doesn’t understand them and perhaps refuses to.
Unfortunately, discrimination against those who are transgender still exists, and I don't see it going away anytime soon. Joanna has a few things to say about this.
“Most people assume that you’re biologically either a man or a woman,
but it’s actually a lot more complex than that. There are so many ways
somebody could be intersex.
In my case, it means I was born with XY chromosomes, which you probably
know as male chromosomes. And I was born with a vagina and balls inside
my body. I don’t respond to testosterone, so during puberty, I grew
breasts… I don’t actually have a uterus – I was born without one, so I
don’t menstruate, I can’t have biological children…"
The quote, above from Emily Quinn, is included in this excellent post from Jack Molay. Please grab a cub of coffee or tea, sit back, and take the time to read this post.
We know what it is like to be us. We know how complex, stressful,
conflicting, and wonderful it is to be who we are. Sharing this side of
us is not easy and I do my best to write about what our partners may be
feeling, thinking, or worried about when it comes to being in a
relationship with someone like us.
I always appreciate any posts dealing with the relationship between someone who is trans and their spouse. This one is from Hannah, and she invites your questions.
I love the
denim skirt and it is a wardrobe stable. Nothing can hug your body
better because of it's weight and can be cut in so many different ways.
The problem, if not done correctly, you come across a pretending to be a
middle-age-teen. I always appreciate Rhonda's fashion advice. This time, it's about denim skirts....for those of us over 40.
“All right then Matthew,” she continues, still quite loudly
going out of her way to say my first name, “If you will please provide all of
the highlighted information on this form, I’ll get you all checked in!” By now of course, all four of the other guests
and another hotel employee are all staring at me. I honestly don’t think that
she was trying to be a witch, I think
that she was just being thoughtless.
Kimberly thinks she has had problems passing as of late. I think she looks fab! Regardless, the hotel clerk, seeing Kimberly's given name on the registration, seems to need some sensitivity training.
Conversion therapy as a "so-called" cure for the non-diseases of
homosexuality and gender variance has long been invalidated by such
august institutions as The American Psychological Association, among
others.
Here's a short book review from Sally. It's fiction and sounds like an interesting read.
