tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2210993542438732066.post2501766599933783640..comments2024-01-31T18:34:20.733-08:00Comments on T-Central: Transition Thoughts & Reflections - AHallehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03847654451426257182noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2210993542438732066.post-48070084423353455352010-08-03T20:44:04.911-07:002010-08-03T20:44:04.911-07:00Hmmmm...Sounds like the greater good for the great...Hmmmm...Sounds like the greater good for the greatest number. Not a bad idea.<br /><br />I think it is important to take note of Arthur's mention of the importance of EDUCATION as a neccassry requirement of the large sums of money required to effect such a monumental undertaking.<br /><br />It is interesting to note that of the few posts by those of us who have physically transistioned, (that is, had our genitals surgically reconstructed to match our pysche's), there is NO mention of the cost of the surgery or the financial burden involved. <br /><br />My point is that monetary costs are just one of many daunting obstacles. Arthur's pointis well taken and worthy of note. Once an individual has made an accurate WELL-INFORMED assessment of their condition and their options, then a foward looking well thought out plan is essential.<br /><br />Since the science and research clearly shows that transsexual children become aware of their gender just as soon as they become self aware.<br /><br />In my experience, substantiated by the literature, these children express themselves very early on in life. The education needs to be directed at young adults of child-rearing age and primary/secondary school educators and counselors.<br /><br />While there is a great deal of energy expended, (rightfully so)towards the acceptance GV children, I think that while diversity acceptance IS a good thing, the needs and fate of the NON GV child whose neurology does not match up with their physiology MUST be addressed.Annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02696670919817140802noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2210993542438732066.post-19451998491091092782010-08-03T18:21:34.817-07:002010-08-03T18:21:34.817-07:00@ Lucy
I agree completely. We always act like di...@ Lucy<br /><br />I agree completely. We always act like divorce is this horrible, shameful, totally rare thing, when in truth, it's pretty common and most people figure out how to move on from it. The bottom line for me is that sometimes you just need to take care of yourself and trust that those around you can do the same for themselves; doing so isn't selfish, it's showing them respect by placing your faith in their strength and allowing them a voice in the things that impact their lives.Reneehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15688972226193612658noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2210993542438732066.post-16251774077951044372010-08-03T16:44:36.367-07:002010-08-03T16:44:36.367-07:00@Renee:
I agree there need not be damage. It can t...@Renee:<br />I agree there need not be damage. It can theoretically all be managed in such a way that there is no lasting hurt, and losses in the relationship are covered by gains. But only with receptive understanding on all sides, and no unforeseen incidents to disrupt an otherwise well-discussed, sensible grand plan. My own transition did not begin smoothly and although I am keeping it on track, I am dreadfully aware of consequences that have included anxiety for my parents (who both died still worrying) and the alienation of my partner, who (with some point) says she has been robbed of her man and her expected future life with him. <br /><br />Still, with determination anyone can find a new and possibly better future. Ordinary widows and widowers and divorcees have to do it after all. And the transitioner can still be a supportive person, if allowed to be. <br /><br />LucyLucy Melfordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09049627653901928427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2210993542438732066.post-75247644160641480302010-08-03T15:18:57.033-07:002010-08-03T15:18:57.033-07:00Arthur, even though I am 40 years your junior, you...Arthur, even though I am 40 years your junior, you wrote so much here with which I can relate.<br /><br />In a community that often seems so selfish and self-centered, it is wonderful to know that there are people like you and Calie, who choose not to drag your wives through transition. It brings to mind something a friend once said... "A woman sacrifices herself for her family."Angelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07128903928694816585noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2210993542438732066.post-2842294027382592992010-08-03T13:37:14.354-07:002010-08-03T13:37:14.354-07:00I just want to say, I think it's a little pres...I just want to say, I think it's a little presumptuous of us to believe that suppressing our inner needs for the benefit of our wives/families is *always* the best, most selfless thing any of us can do.<br /><br />It's as if we believe that our wives could never do better or ever be happy again. That it's somehow fair to them to know that they are the reason their husband is suffering such inner turmoil (assuming they're even told). Or that a divorced family can't be "whole", or that a family untouched by divorce can't be "broken".<br /><br />My wife and I went through this and were just talking about it yesterday...it was hard, and it took a long while for the hurt to go away, but we're both happier now, sharing and being part of separate lives with each other than we ever were with the one life we had together. There doesn't always have to be damage, and sometimes doing what's right for you is also what's right for someone else (and vice versa).<br /><br />Okay, have at me now. :pReneehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15688972226193612658noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2210993542438732066.post-59283569409595931642010-08-03T12:21:24.619-07:002010-08-03T12:21:24.619-07:00I was looking out for your post, Arthur, and it wa...I was looking out for your post, Arthur, and it was worth waiting for in its final form. <br /><br />Every transition causes some damage, never intended but nevertheless awful for anyone badly affected, and sometimes the side-effects must be too much to bear. Each person must 'decide' for themselves - it's really a choice between the lesser hurt. One thing seems clear: the younger you are, the freer you are to do something about the pressure within. Nowadays the diagnosis can be made early, and 'only' readjustment is involved, chiefly confined to family and schoolfriends. There is not yet a spouse or children to tear apart, nor a career to put at risk.<br /><br />But for the older generations...<br /><br />LucyLucy Melfordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09049627653901928427noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2210993542438732066.post-50586318042511930412010-08-03T10:51:51.337-07:002010-08-03T10:51:51.337-07:00Thank you Arthur. Younger people who have grown up...Thank you Arthur. Younger people who have grown up with the internet, it's social networks and wealth of information, along with the support groups and other resources needed to see them through their transitions, have very little perspective on what it was like to grow up and grow old with none of that. Much of your experience reflected that of my early years, so naturally, I have a strong feeling of empathy for you. Thank you for your kind support of others.<br /><br />Melissa XXMelissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04600684740584460891noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2210993542438732066.post-79272077598079230342010-08-03T08:48:15.631-07:002010-08-03T08:48:15.631-07:00Thank you for a point of view that we do not often...Thank you for a point of view that we do not often see! Or maybe ever. From the way you write, even though you did not live the life you wish you could have, you have still lived a good life, and that's commendable.Véro Bhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02895169022031921712noreply@blogger.com