Can’t ever go back…

The primary reason I write the blog is that after living as a trans woman for 20 years and believing that this was a fixed and essential part of my identity, the discovery that it was not was such a profound one. I think there might be other people in a similar state who have more choice than they think they have.



If you're thinking about transitioning, you might want to take a look at what TWT has to say in, Can’t ever go back….  It may not apply to you, but surgery is serious business, so taking a few minutes to read a blog post might just be worth it for some.

Thinking. Progress. Destination.

I’m still jealous of those who are able to express themselves with little restriction or with exceptional presentation. There are also those in larger cities who have social support groups where they meet monthly and have outings with friend and/or spouses. We really don’t have anything like that in Nova Scotia (not yet anyways).


Michelle is pondering.... Thinking. Progress. Destination.

My Response to President Trump’s Attack on Transgender Service Members

Over the past two years I have met the most inspiring trans people, and I can testify to the trans community’s incredible resilience and perseverance in the face of enormous discrimination and hate. We are strong, we are beautiful, and we will win. The President must ask himself which side of history he will be on — and reverse his position immediately.


It's nice to see Caitlyn do post.  This one is a short one, regarding Trump's Attack on Transgender Service Members.

Let's Develop a Thinking Attitude Towards Gender Identity

I hated the expectations of macho manhood, male responsibility, over assertiveness and dominance. No wonder I chose the opposite, wanting to create and nurture life, not to direct and command it. Rejecting masculinity as I child I hit the feminine side of life so hard that I became girly to the n'th degree, at least for a while. When someone denies your right to be the gender you are, you can go to extremes. As as teen I rejected one stereotype yet almost fell into another.

Jane has had it with gender stereotypes.  Read the post and hear her roar!

Operations and options

Somehow I’d got the idea that the choice was all-or-nothing: that you had to either have no surgery but live in effect as a transvestite, or else have the full works including vaginoplasty. Accounts of the things you need to do both before and after vaginoplasty horrified me – but that’s not my story to tell.





As Rosie says, all or nothing is no longer the only option.   Read, Operations and options, for more on the direction Rosie chose to live out her life in a body she feels comfortable in.

Shameless cut and paste

How long have you been dressing up as a girl?
On and off - for quite a long time. My earliest recollection would be when I was at primary school. What's that? About 8 or 10 or so? I don't know why but I remember getting ready for bed and seeing a pair of mum's tights fresh out of the laundry. I can remember wondering what the felt like and reaching for them... Ahhh, so began a drift to the Dark Side. :-)

It's Retro-Week, featuring posts from some of our long-time bloggers.  This one, from Lynn, dates back to 2005!  Our girl, Lynn, was just as active then as she is now.....nearly 12 years later (and I bet she hasn't aged a bit!).

Now, with that said, I goofed up last week and didn't post the link to Lynn's 2005 post.  She has linked to it in her latest post, so let's give it another try (sorry Lynn!)

Go to Shameless cut and paste

A brief explanation...

When I decided to transition earlier this year, it was because I realized I had finally come to terms with who I really was, at long last. A major factor in helping me reach that decision was reading other trans-related blogs. I was moved by the honesty and courage expressed by the authors. If they could do it, I thought, then so could I.



This Retro Week post, from Cassidy, dates back to 2011.  In it, she goes through her thought processes in deciding to transition.  It's A brief explanation...

love of self

You are a clandestine "man in a dress"; you know it and everyone else can too. Your cover has been blown.




I asked Joanna, one of my favorite bloggers and someone I totally relate to, to choose a post for Retro Week.  She chose, love of self.   It's a beautifully written blog post, from three years ago.

Do You Remember the First Time?

I put on some cover-up on my face, the only foundation that I’d bought and it was a little bit light-weight and thin for the type of cover I needed. I did the best I could looking in the large framed mirror that hung over the fireplace of Sarah’s living room.
She took a look at me, um’d and arr’d a bit and said “It’ll do.”



We'll go back about three years, for this Retro-Week post, from Hannah.  Do you remember the first time?

How does a closet trans person end up married?

So there I was aged about twenty, a spotty geeky student. Clinically depressed and convinced I was a bloke with an unusually active but heavily suppressed female side.



Today's Retro-Week post takes us back to 2010.  Although a lot has changed in Jenny's life, since then, the question, How does a closet trans person end up married?, is one that many ask themselves.  Go to Jenny's post, for her answer.

But I am only myself

This is her life 'beyond the curtain'. Before she transitioned, she was advised during therapy that she'd need to take drastic measures to leave the Old Life behind, so that she could embrace the New. She gradually did that over the years, but keeping her wife and family. I admire that huge achievement. She let nobody down. But it hasn't left her free. And the successful burying of the past means that nothing of her difficult journey can be openly celebrated. Nobody in the present life knows about it, except close family. Psychologically this is not good.


It's Retro-Week, on T-Central.  This post,about life after transition, is from Lucy's long running blog and dates back to July of 2014.  

If you ever want to travel in the UK, do browse through Lucy's blog.  She travels a lot around the country and shares some beautiful pictures and stories with her readers.

Woman trapped in a man’s body

“Woman trapped in a man’s body” is a line I hate, because it oversimplifies, and is wrong, and a line I love, because it explains. Here am I at 46 still finding aspects of myself I hardly dare call “feminine”, which I resent, so that the essential work of loving them is so difficult and time-consuming. I read the phrase, and think, well, that is OK, I am a woman- while parts of me still retort, no, I am a man, and wanting to dress female and use a female name is ridiculous.


It's Retro-Week, on T-Central. This post, dating back about 4 years, is from Clare.  She's discussing that phrase we've all heard too many times.

Top 30 Things Every Crossdressing Man Needs In His Wardrobe To Emulate A Woman

With over 40 years of crossdressing experience under my wide patent belt, I decided I am qualified to put together such a list. So, here is my list of "the necessities" that no man's wardrobe can be without if he wishes to emulate a woman successfully.





It's Retro-Week, on T-Central.  Today's post features Stana's mega-T-blog, Femulate.  

Stana wrote this post in 2007, after reading an article titled, Top 30 Things Every Woman Needs in Her Wardrobe.   Do you have all 30 on Stana's list?

Dreamy Days and Wandering Minds

I thought about what would happen to those male clothes that I still have left in my wardrobe in abundance should I decide to be outwardly female full-time. Would I really be able to get rid of them even if I knew I would never wear them again? I think though, much like every possession I hate to loose, throwing away my old clothes would feel like throwing away my friends, my family members, that best holiday ever, that point in my life where everything felt good or even my childhood.


There's just no better way to say it, regarding this post: Hannah's thinking again, the time with, Dreamy Days and Wandering Minds. 

Sparkle 2017 reflection

Hitting all the bars up and down Manchester’s Gay Village it struck me just how many people had turned up for this years celebration. From drag queens to transsexuals and gay guys to supporting spouses’ the diversity was wonderful. 


There's more than one "T" Sparkle event (including one here in Cali), but the grandest of them all is the UK Sparkle.  This blog post is a wonderful review of the event, and includes lots of lovely pictures.

Patients & Providers: The Trans Buddy Program

Why does every region need a Trans Buddy Program? Transgender people face enormous barriers to care; we must navigate a cis-centric health care system that was not designed to meet our needs. This means forms that assume cis and binary genders, clinic staff and providers who have received little education regarding transgender health, and staff who might not be informed regarding new trans-inclusive policies for patient rooming.


What a great idea.  Read more from the author, Kale Edmiston, PhD is the co-founder of The Trans Buddy Program and former co-director of The Program for LGBTI Health at Vanderbilt University Medical Center.

Interview with Cassidy McGuinn

Monika: What would you recommend to all transgender girls struggling with gender dysphoria?

Cassidy: If you can, see a therapist specializing in transgendered clients. It's by far the most important aspect of my transition. My therapist has been a godsend. A friend once told me transitioning is 25% physical and 75% mental/emotional (not sure if she heard/read it elsewhere), and that certainly has been true for me. If seeing a therapist isn't possible, writing out your thoughts can help enormously. Just beginning the process of articulating the tangle of conflicting thoughts and emotions out loud is so incredibly liberating - and empowering.

 

 

Monika has interviewed one of our own (as in a T-Blogger!).  Read all about the girl with the fab red hair in, an Interview with Cassidy McGuinn.

Not accepting the blame and the shame

If a person (who is unconsciously struggling with a fake role) messes up, is the dire result all their fault?

 

And if they had somehow known themselves more truly, and would have behaved differently and done the right thing instead, then are they in any way culpable?

Culpable?  Is/was Lucy a lawyer?

Lucy has one of the oldest, currently running blogs on T-Central.  I had to read this post twice because it certainly rang some bells deep within me.

For those of you who haven't read Lucy's blog, she is a lovely person who loves to travel and takes wonderful photos.  She also transitioned years ago.  Regarding the latter, read the quote above again it it might just make more sense.  The post is, Not accepting the blame and the shame.

All Me, All The Time

My mother-in-law asked

“What did he say?  He’s going to be late?”

My ex replied “No.  He’s going to be female.”

“Oh.  Well, if that’s what you want we’re going to have to get used to it sooner or later.”




It's now all Kirsty, all the time.  There's been a few bumps in the road but, for Kirsty, it means relief.  Drop her a note of congratulations.  It's a fairly long post, but well worth taking the time to read.  The post includes her official announcement.

Surgical liberation

Would I have felt more comfortable with my breasts if they had not been constantly associated with social gender labels like “ladies”, “she” and “ma’am”? Would I have felt my gender dysphoria more keenly had I not suffered from such extreme dissociation for much of my life that it’s hard for me to connect to my body at all? It’s impossible to say, because what we go through makes us who we are. But I had a lot to untangle to get here.


I've always felt that I need to better understand the dysphoria suffered by transmen.  Surgical liberation, by Sam, is a good start.  Sam recently had top surgery and describes what brought him to this point and just how liberating it feels.

Growing pains

This morning I definitely put on a bra for support. I can tell that the 36D is going to be needed soon. The 36C, I am wearing, is full. It will not take much more before I am "spilling out" of that 36C.








You can always depend on Susan to share her "progress" with you.  This time, it's a bit of discussion about her growing girls and the resulting growing pains.

masks

Well here is Alice Dreger comparing men who get off on wearing latex female masks with the transgender population which she she seems to suggest is mostly composed of Autogynephilic men.



My friend, Joanna, links to an absurd 2013 article suggesting the above.  Needless to say, Joanna has a few comments of her own. 

Thoughts on Pride Month

The standards that I had to measure up to as a young boy were set by the family religion, the expectation that I would follow my father’s example, and society.  I knew who I was, but also knew being myself would make me a disappointment.  I had an undeniable identity, but knew I would be humiliated if anyone found out about it.


Rebecca grew up in a Mormon family.  From a very young age she felt she should have been a girl.  Life was even more complicated when, in her senior year, she had feelings for a boy in her school.  Imagine the struggles and conflict inside of her.  In this post, Rebecca shares her story and how it relates to her Thoughts on Pride Month.

Q: Ain't She Sweet? (A: No. :D)

"Red hair, blue eyes, freckles... and she loves sports!" R said.

He extended his hand to me, respectfully. "My dear, may I have your hand in matrimony?"

"Hey," L said, indignant. "I wanted to ask her!"

 

 

 

I just love feel-good posts and, as a former Bostonian, this one is extra special for me.  My my, our girl, Cass, is such the flirt!   You don't want to miss this one.  Ain't She Sweet?