Vignettes: Can't You See? a/k/a The Glory of... Me(?)

So, I went into my local Starbucks on Tuesday evening.







This is just a short, cute post, from Cassidy.  She walked into Starbucks, and guess what she saw?   You'll have to go to the post to find out.  As with all of Cass's posts, this includes music to read it by.

Packed In A Trunk

Hiding our stash from our families, kept secret from all. I have always wondered after our death what would have happened our stash of clothes, would they be found by our families?



You're going to love this article that Diana quotes in her post.  A second part of this post deals with the ‘dehumanising’ screenings of trans people at airports.

Juggle

I’m writing because I need support.











Juggling is not easy for the spouse of someone transitioning.  I left a comment, and you should too.

A new life

The first few months after shaving were definitely rough with having to face my dysphoria around my chin and stubble. But now there is so little hair left that I don’t have to think about it 90% of the time and I often forget to shave the few stubborn hairs around my lips. I feel so much more feminine now without the shadow on my face.


It's a great progress report, and a new life, from The [non] Bearded Genderqueer.

Night Before Returning

I’m scared.  There- I said it.










Where is Sophie returning to, and why is she scared?   Read, Night Before Returning, for the answer.

Trans-Allyship: Advice From One Cisgender Person to Another

“Would it be better to come up with a truly inclusive set of pronouns to respect all who don’t identify as any of the existing ones, rather than trying to call individuals by a commonly-used plural pronoun?”


This was a question posted on Dara's FaceBook wall.  For a well thought out response, go here.

Facial Feminization Surgery - Part 1: Legal Win!

The last few months have been a fight. My insurance initially denied my claim, meaning they refused to pay for my FFS. They said, despite letters from my doctors and therapists, that it was an entirely cosmetic procedure. Luckily, I had gone to a "Getting Insurance to Cover Your FFS" talk at last year's Philadelphia Transgender Wellness Conference. Otherwise I would have never even know that I could fight them. And fight them I did. It's been exhausting but I kept fighting. 

Well, Faith gave it away in the title.  She won!  Insurance will cover her FFS.  Read more in her latest post, which includes some fab photos.

Finding Perspective - The 6-Month HRT Update

"I feel desperate because I don't know what to do."

"I feel stupid because I can't think."

"I feel angry because I just lost my train of thought."

Blogging is all about sharing our thoughts and this one, from Shannyn, is worth taking the time to read.  In this post, Shannyn shares some very private feelings that her therapist asked her to put in writing.  This was prior to beginning hormone replacement therapy.  So.......at 6 months into HRT, how is she doing?  Read, Finding Perspective - The 6-Month HRT Update, to find out.

Comfortable

I think it's important to keep such moments. Not to hoard them like gold, but to remember and know that when things aren't 100%, that they can be and you will feel good about things once again.




Lynn writes about being comfy.....emotionally, that is.  Again, just another nice post that points out how local trans groups can be so helpful for some.

Ladies and Gentlemen

If you present as male at all, I am sure you are a respectful and kind man, and would never say or do anything that is disrespectful, hurtful, or offensive to women.  It’s easy for us to feel like “one of the girls” because for many of us, we are… but perhaps not at that moment.  I listen to my female coworkers who compliment each other on their outfit or shoes.  I often want to do the same thing.  But it could easily make them feel uncomfortable or taken in a way I did not intend.  For those who have more than one gender identity, we need to be ladies and gentlemen.





I think many will relate to this one, from Hannah.

The Wish list

I was in my mid 30’s before I really accepted my Crossdressing so I really still do have some things now that I am in my early 40’s that I want to cross off my wish list.



Want to know what Cynthia wants to cross of the list?  Easy!  Read The Wish List, and then leave this girl a comment!

I'm still not happy with my voice.

It's hard to believe that this opera singer is a baritone until you look a little more closely at the bone structure.  She is a M2F Transgender, out in the open and singing men's roles in public.  I just wonder if she's also worked her voice to speak in the androgynous vocal range when she's not on stage.

Marian has been working on her voice.  Training for a feminine voice is, arguably for many, one of the most difficult parts of a transition from male to female. In this post, Marian writes about her progress and ponders about the prejudice that some MtF singers have had to endure.

The facts about transgender kids

TERFs,  religious fundamentalist and other transphobes often point to the gender variant kids who do not believe that they are “the other gender” or who stick to that conviction . They are just effeminate gay boys, they say, or tomboys. The anti-trans people seem to know a lot about things they have never experienced themselves.


Oh, I could not have stated that better myself.  An excellent post, which includes a couple of videos, on a subject near and dear to me and many in the trans community.

Important Message

If you identify as trans, are at least 18 years old, and reside in the U.S.you are eligible to participate in this online survey! The survey may take an hour to an hour and fifteen minutes to complete.



I saw this on Cyrsti's page.  Go to Cyrsti's blog for the link.

The Fragility of Connections (With Others Like Me)

Recently I was contacted by someone (I’ll leave the details out in respect to her) and I always responded, answered questions and offered whatever support I could.  I was responsive, kind and understanding in my responses.  Then one day, she sent me an e-mail telling me she didn’t want me to think she had forgotten about me.  In an attempt to be very honest, knowing that many, many relationships that I have fostered simply vanished, I responded to her as follows:



Kandi's response was somewhat of a surprise to me.  Read the post to see how she replied.

If She Walks and Quacks Like a Duck, ...

.........once upon a time someone like me was doomed to live her life as a man; which, by no coincidence, is what I did up until the world became a kinder more reasonable place, for people like me, quite recently.







As is always the case with Halle, this post just makes too much sense.  Nicely said, Halle!

So you wanna be a trans ally? Great, here are five tips to help you!

I have a theory that most people start out as a teeny bit transphobic – that they see trans people, especially trans women, as people who are a bit weird, and certainly fair game for being the butt of jokes.




Andie has five important tips for those who want to be a trans ally.  

Finding My Way

Like many people, I got sucked into the Face App fun and turned myself into an old woman.  The app also includes the ability to swap genders.  







A few months following her GCS, The Trans Canadienne has posted an update (and you know how I like updates!).   How did Face App look when she swapped genders?  Did she look like her old self?  Read, Finding My Way, to see for yourself and then go back through her blog to see the real pictures of her former self.  Oh, and do consider leaving this girl a comment if, for no other reason, to let her know how fab she looks as her TRUE self!.

"Is My Marriage Gay?"

Whether a marriage like mine is a same-sex marriage or some other kind is hardly the point. What matters is that my spouse and I love each other, and that our legal union has been a good thing — for us, for our children and for our community. 


While cleaning up some broken links in the Cobweb Corner section of T-Central, I came across Jennifer Finney Boylan's old blog, There From Here.  A lot of things have changed in the past 10 years and, as someone who is all about love and marriage, this post from 2009 caught my eye.  The original article was in the New York Times.  Oh, and yes, Jennifer and Deirdre are still happily married.  I wonder if she would notice if someone left a comment on a post that was written 10 years ago?

Silhouette

Mostly though, anyone who has transitioned will tell you: the best reason to smile has to do with knowing you are who you ought to be - who you should always have been but for an accident of birth and the verdict of a quick glance, followed by gender-stereotyping for life.





It's so nice to see my dear friend, Halle, happy and still posting to her blog, three years after her transition.  There's a smile in that Silhouette!

A Special Trip

Could I muster the courage for this? What if... what if a dozen bad things happened -- which, of course, they could. Not all members of society understand or care about transgender people.




And, just what is Ally mustering up the courage to do?  This is a wonderful post and you'll just have to read it to find out.  Lots of pictures of her Special Trip are included.

Return of the Mojo

I sought out a sad fellow sitting alone while everyone mingled. I kept watching him across the room, and seeing myself as I was my first 40-plus years, paralyzed by social anxiety and unable to initiate a conversation. I spent about 15 minutes talking with him, avoiding the small talk that I knew I always hated. Maybe I was a little invasive and direct, but he opened up some.


Read that comment, above, and you'll understand why I believe that local trans groups are so important.  Long-time blogger, Leslie Ann, has returned with a rare post dealing with her struggles in running Trans Kentucky.  All is well that ends well and that has resulted in Leslie's Return of the Mojo.

The Curious Case of The Pink Fog

Which brings me to the term I've been pondering all week. "Pink Fog". What is it? I had to Google it when I heard it from Calie over at T-Central in response to my post, "The Choice". I think I had heard it once before, but didn't really know what she meant by it. Another comment warned, and this made my giggle and conjure up an image of a little pink Yoda: "Once you stay in the pink fog, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will."


The author of "another comment", mentioned above, was none other Yet Another T-Girl, Lynn Jones.  How can I not feature a post mentioning Lynn?  Never mind the fact that she also mentions moi.  Certainly, I can't be bribed into featuring a post.....  Never mind all of that however, just read Shannyn's, The Curious Case of The Pink Fog.

Transgender influencers are changing Brazil's advertising industry

Caroline, one of our bloggers from Scotland and listed on T-Central, sent this uplifting BBC video and suggested it be shared with all of you.  Take a look.

Feminine Differential - Power

I explored my Power like an adolescent girl, wearing clothes that were too provocative, skirts that were too short, heels that were too high, and sweaters that were too tight, but always, with the intent of getting men to look at me.



This is one of those very honest, nothing held back, posts I love and it comes from Rhonda.   Read Power, and see if you can relate to both Rhonda's post and to those who have commented on her post.

After the Mask

The changes due to HRT are great and life affirming, but the changes in me from coming out are no less astounding. Fear dissipated like a morning fog in the afternoon sun. I used to be self-conscious and always awkward, but now I don’t think about how others see me, just how I see myself.




What a beautiful post, from Elizabeth.  Her life changed for the better, After the Mask.