taking stock

.....so on the one hand, we have females who are (tragically, ironically) defending their “turf” as being the sole owners of the Gender “Woman”. which, contradictorily, is also recognized by many of them as being a set of Man-imposed chains holding them in bondage to a role that is submissive, inferior and victimized.
…and on the other we have males who claim (correctly) that to be a Woman is achievable by any Human Being regardless of Sex, since Gender is culturally produced and Sex is not.

The Outpost is a new blog listing on T-Central, and I want to thank Jack Molay (Crossdreamers, et all) for alerting us to Birdy's terrific blog.  Taking Stock, pt 2, (there is a part 1) is a good post to feature from Birdy because you'll learn a lot about just what is going through her head.  Grab a cup of coffee or tea, or whatever, and take the time to read this post.  I guarantee once you start reading it, you'll read it to the end.

doubting you are trans

Our brains are wired differently than cisgender people but I have never at any point thought I was crazy. Hence, the only possibility left was that I was suffering from a perversion.
'


As is almost always the case, Joanna has a lot to say without a lot of words (and that's a compliment, Joanna!).  This time, it's doubting you are trans.

Andrea’s Tips For Laser Hair Removal… as a Patient

At the end of the laser treatment session, when I got up off the bed I was a trembling wreck! But a glass of water and a bit of chat with the nurse settled me down. Maybe that’ll work for you too.



The quote, above, is just one of 20 practical tips from Andrea.... someone who has been there.

Trans community

When I transitioned I decided I would make my community in normal society. I left the Northern Concord and the Sibyls behind, but more recently when I have spent time with trans folk I have relaxed. I am with my kind. It’s a good feeling. Sharing experiences might strengthen us and give us tips.





This is an interesting post, from Clare.  She starts off by saying, There is no trans community, and I feel that is a shame.  At this point, I wondered just what she is talking about.  The trans community in my city is huge, and there are several trans groups in the UK.

After reading the post, I believe what Clare is referring to (Clare - please correct me if I'm wrong) is that there really is no community for post-ops.  Clare mentions that some post-ops avoid being with others in the trans community out of fear of being clocked by association.  I have seen this, and she is absolutely correct, yet I have also seen how lonesome some of my friends are and how they have shed their friendships with others who are trans because of the "guilt by association" factor.  I haven't transitioned and, when with my post-op friends, always present myself as male.  They feel comfortable around me for that reason.  When I asked one once if she would continue to be around me if I was presenting female, she sadly said "no, not in public" because she would be clocked.....

Trans community, is another well written post, from Clare.

If A Daughter Identifies As A Boy How Do You Talk To Her About Issues Affecting Young Women?

If a daughter identifies as a boy, and rejects being a woman, how do you have those talks about issues specifically relating to young women? Recent cases of sexual exploitation of young women may be issues that a girl who is lesbian or who rejects femininity would also feel to be irrelevant to her, because she feels herself to be ‘different’ to ‘those women’ so it could never happen to her. But in the case of a daughter who identifies as a boy, referring to issues which affect young women may be felt as complete betrayal. It could never happen to her because she’s not a woman.




This is a re-post, with comments, from Psychology Today.  Good information for parents.

"People like you"

As he was leaving, he said he handed me a little flyer and said "so you know our doors are always open, and we welcome people- especially people like you."









Oh, did I see red when I read this one, from Sophie.  You will too.  Read more about, "People like you".  Be sure to read the previous post she links to, from 2016.   

My biggest mistakes as a mom were on Halloween.

On both occasions Harry wanted to go trick-or-treating as a girl. But I didn’t let him. I cared more about protecting him from teasing. And I worried about what others might think of his dad and me for letting our boy be a girl. I, I, I, and me. See the pattern?





The mistake is revealed in the paragraph, above.  Julie has much more to say on the subject, however, in another of her several Halloween related posts.  She does link to all of them.

9 months on T injections

When I started in January, I gave the whole venture 6-8 months.  I thought I’d start getting uncomfortable with the level of masculinization by that time, and I’d stop.  Not for good, just for a while, to level back out, and then most likely start again within another year or two.  Something like that.  BUT!  I really like what’s going on. 



JQ is another blogger who shares his own personal experience in the transition process.  This post is for the guys.  He really likes what's going on, but there is one thing he doesn't like, and I have to agree.  Read, 9 months on T injections to find out just what that is.

Made-up

.......we'd sorted out a foundation that worked with my existing primer and powder. I know the latter may be old school, but a light dusting of powder really helps set my makeup. Oh, and if you're not using a primer, you're missing out. In addition to that, I quizzed her about lip liner, and after some pro-tips, I had improved my lipstick technique too. What's not to like?



Lynn was lucky enough - in male mode - to get into the back room of an establishment specializing in makeup, cosmetics and beauty.   Working with a makeup artist, she learned a bit more on the subject of being made-up.

Being trans

In the mood I am in now, I might just reassure myself. Transition is a way to live more comfortably and authentically in the World. It is not easy, and I lost some friends when I transitioned, yet I knew it was what I had to do, and it has been my path to self-acceptance.






Clare, always brutally honest when she writes, discusses transitioning.  She has said many times that she has had second thoughts, post surgery.  She has more to say on the subject of Being Trans.

First Transgender Doll

For those asking: the doll is considered to be the first ‘transgender’ doll because it’s based on an individual who is trans. Of course it is still just a regular girl doll because that’s exactly what I am: a regular girl!


The title pretty much says it all.  Do read the post.  Rhonda has a question for you at the end.

In Sync

Sometimes I'm a little slower than the average bear. This morning when I woke up, I had to brush my hair out of my face immediately and thought what a pain!







 This one, from Cyrsti, is short and feels good.  Made me smile!

It’s Time to Reject Objectification And Harassment for All Women NotJust a Selection

In spite of those who mistakenly argue we enjoy male privilege; objectification, harassment and abuse are a regular occurrence for Trans women too. Most of us suffer in silence.





Jane shares some awful childhood and adult experiences in an effort to prove her point.

Breast Form Review

Hello, my name is Daniella and I am addicted to my forms. That is right people I have succumbed. I have finally upgraded from my rice filled knee high nylons to ‘proper’ breast forms. I by proper I mean ‘proper’. I have acquired a pair of self adhesive forms with detachable, realistic nipples! I know I know, how the mighty have fallen.



There's the bundled up sox, rice bags, water filled ballons and......breast forms.  Daniella has a lot to say about her experience with forms.

How to Halloween for Transgirls

Halloween is my absolute favorite time of year.  Not only is there an abundance of candy and there are plenty of opportunities to party. Plus, you get to dress up in a costume and be whoever you want! Maybe that's why transgender people, gender-queer people, and crossdressers love October so much. When you're not out to the people in your life, Halloween gives you a chance to dip your toe in so to speak. You can present with your preferred gender expression in a safe and accepting environment. And for one night you get to be your real self without anyone judging you.


Ah.....Halloween......dress up time!  A few comments on the subject, from Faith.

A story of desistance

He developed a fantasy that living as girl would be easier because he could escape from the pressures of being a man. This fantasy was connected to his self-confidence. Whether the fantasy is realistic or not, the pressures on young men to perform are very real. His fantasies got stronger during periods he was having difficulty with relationships and life and diminished during periods he was having success.


TWT transitioned from male to female at age 19 and de-transitioned 20 years later.  If you're considering transitioning, this is a blog you should browse.  There are those who are happy, having transitioned into the body and gender they should have been born in/with.  And, there are those who transitioned and later found that transitioning was not the answer to their issues.  TWT is among the latter and one of the rare ones who shares his experiences with us.

In, A story of desistance, TWT re-posts the thoughts of guy who's life experiences, as it relates to gender in his early years, were not unlike his own.  Again, if you're asking yourself if you should transition, reading posts like this one may assist you in better evaluating yourself.....along with a good therapist.

Please note that this post can best be termed as "R rated".

Biological Basis for The Transgender Experience

.....articles like this offer great insight into our minds but the findings in these studies should not be used solely to validate our experience. 





Katherine links to a Scientific American article and offers her own thoughts on the subject.

A True Love of Mine

If I have GRS, an expense I am still trying to justify, it won’t change us. We will have different equipment to work with, that is a physical thing. The surgery wouldn’t define me any more than my lack of surgery now does, it will simply allow me to be more of who I am.


This is a blog post about something I'm all about.  Love and marriage and being trans.  If you're trans and in a relationship, or considering a relationship, you will enjoy reading A True Love of Mine, from Beth.

another coming out

“I am trans” I said matter of factly.
She looked at me and smiled and said:
“Really? That’s so neat”



Need a "feel-good" post to read?  Try, another coming out, from Joanna.

An Unexpected Visit in Dreamtime

"Womanhood is wonderful, and it fits me so much better than the life you have preserved. I've paid a price for sure, but I don't regret anything that I had to do. You and I are different in some very important ways D..... , otherwise we wouldn't be having this conversation in this howling wind on this cool afternoon."





What a wonderful post from my friend, Halle.  I had somehow missed seeing this blog post until now, and it does deserve to be featured.  In this post, Halle shares a dream she had which involves a discussion between her current self and "his" former self.  Very well written and very much worth taking the time to read.

Fingernails

I feel having his long tranny nails is more important to him than my peace of mind.  It's not nice to feel you're so far down someone's priorities, below even their nails, especially when you feel you've made so many changes in your life for him and got used to so many weird things.


Pennywife doesn't like long nails.....on men or women.  Her spouse is a crossdresser and it appears his insistence on keeping his fingernails long could result in shortening the term of his marriage. 

Real self, female self

McGrath asked what I wanted. I said I wanted to be a housewife, and my memory is that just by snorting and facial expression he indicated dismissive contempt of this impossible fantasy.



Real self, female self is yet another excellent post from Clare.  Clare expresses her own feelings prior to transition and after transition and, by sharing these thoughts, she can help many of us better understand our own feelings of dysphoria.

HRT - Month 27

Well it seems like life is teaching me a few new lessons. With HRT come changes that Transwomen are not told about. So has been the case this month. Let me break it down just a little for you.

I'm so thankful for our trans-sisters, and brothers, who share their experiences.  In this one, Aleana brings us up-to-date with Month 27.  An excellent post!

Transgenderism Encourages Rigid Gender Stereotypes

Look at those gender identity tests such as COGIATI and SAGE, which ask you a series of questions about your personality traits and abilities to score how masculine or feminine you are. Answer with too many “girly” answers, and you’ll be told that you are a good candidate for hormone replacement therapy (HRT) with or without sex reassignment surgery (SRS).


Ralph has made some very good comments in this post.  It's well worth reading this short post, if you have questions about yourself.

I don't believe his blog has been featured in the past. 

A little bit more about Ralph, from his "about" page:

What this site is NOT about is the male to female transformation process. If your journey has taken you down that road and you wish you could be a girl — part time, full time, any time — I wish you well, but you won’t find anything of interest here. For reasons that have taken two years and dozens of blog posts for me to explain, that’s not part of who I am. I prefer dresses and skirts to pants, it’s true, but I wear them on my own terms as a man who happens to like those things. Here you’ll find — and you are encouraged to participate in — discussions on why we do it, what makes us who we are, fashion likes and dislikes, deep theological musings, and how it affects our relationships with friends, lovers, and the world.

Supergirl: A Transgender Girl's Thoughts

The biggest reason that I love this show is that it has used its story lines as metaphors to discuss important social issues like the refugee crisis, immigration, xenophobia, and of course, LGBTQ rights. With the third season of the show coming out soon, I thought this would a good time to discuss how I think Supergirl touches on the transgender experience in ways that really resonated me with me, even if that wasn't necessarily the intention of the writers.

 

 

 

This is a very nice review, from a transgender woman's perspective, of the Supergirl series on the American network, The CW.  Season three starts soon.

A transgender marriage? What’s the big deal?

What’s the big deal? We’re just a normal married couple leading a typical life.







Diane has been blogging since 2010.  She writes from the perspective of a spouse in a male-to-female transgender marriage.  She and her wife are currently living in the Netherlands.  She is a former writer for the Boston Globe.  What’s the big deal?  Read more here.

The trans children's conveyor belt and the banal production of ignorance...

One of the main targets of this onslaught has been, of course, trans children. The obvious target for the transphobic bullies; a group that cannot answer back and whose parents dare not answer back either for fear of outing their kids to face more transphobic bullying or being accused of child abuse.

Natacha, who has been blogging since 2009, has a few things to say about this....and holds nothing back.

If you haven't come across Natacha's blog, this is how she defines herself:

A bolshie transwoman with attitude. And that attitude is; against Tories, TERFs, bigots, racists, ignorant people and most tabloid newspaper editors and journalists.

Fun raising

Last night we ran a StartUp September event at Chams. This was part bring & buy, to advice session. Along with a few others, I think I was on my feet (in heels) for two, possibly three hours (Maths isn't my strong point. Ask me one on accessorising :-) ). Perhaps I should have gone with the slightly lower posh office style shoes, but hey ho, lessons learned :-)


I saw this one - Fun raising - from Lynn (nice title, girl!), and it reminded me just how much good can come out of joining a local transgender social group.  In Lynn's case, it's the Chameleons.  In my case, it's the Gems.  There's many more out there.  Interesting that Lynn's group apparently has a few transmen in it.