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Tuesday, November 20, 2018

Guest Post From Laura-Ann

Here's a TDOR guest post, with an American Thanksgiving theme, from my friend, Laura-Ann.
 
 
Local Sacramento musician and trans-activist KC Shane sang a beautiful, heart-rending song of hope at the TDOR service held at the Loomis Basin UCC on Sunday, November 18th, and at Sacramento's primary TDOR service at Trinity Episcopal Cathedral on Saturday the 17th. The link to it on YouTube is: 
 
 
I heard it at the Loomis service, which was a small TDOR, compared to the one at Trinity Episcopal; we had only about 30 people attending, but it was no less moving and significant for my life-partner Pauline, and myself. 2018 has already matched, if not broken, all previous records for the number of homicides of transgender people, both in the United States (27), and worldwide (310). I had the great honor to be one of the liturgists at the Loomis TDOR, and I led the reading of this poem by Edna St. Vincent Millay:

Leader: "I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground. So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind."
All: "Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned With lilies and with laurel they go but I am not resigned."
Leader: "Lovers and thinkers, into the earth with you. Be one with the dull, the indiscriminate dust. A fragment of what you felt, of what you knew."
All: "A formula, a phrase remains, but the best is lost."
Leader: "The answers quick and keen, the honest look, the laughter, the love, They are gone. They are gone to feed the roses. Elegant and curled is the blossom. Fragrant is the blossom. I know. But I do not approve."
All: "More precious was the light in your eyes than all the roses in the world."
Leader: "Down, down, down into the darkness of the grave. Gently they go, the beautiful, the tender, the kind."
All: "Quietly they go, the intelligent, the witty, the brave. I know. But I do not approve. And I am not resigned."

I believe that all human beings deserve to be defined by their deeds, the beauty and love that dwells in their souls, their character, and not by their gender identity, skin color, ethnicity, country of origin, age, sex, socio-economic status, or level of education. We are all in this together, dependant on each other for something, whether it be the food grown by our farmers, the water that is purified and delivered to our homes by municipal water district workers, or the maintenance of the roads we drive on (what I spent 21 years of my working life doing); every human who lives in our society uses some product or service that was grown, manufactured, maintained, or provided by someone else. 

The poet John Donne said this in his "Meditation XVII", 400 years ago: "No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were. Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee". We are all here for such a short time, less than an eyblink in the long, long tale that will be the history of humanity on this blessed, beautiful Earth. We have been given so many gifts, of which love, compassion, and friendship are perhaps the greatest, yet so much of our world and the societies therein are still mired in warfare, hatred, greed, and senseless violence.

I weep for the 27 transgender women murdered in my country this year. Each of them a mirror that reflects that aspect of who I am that is called "gender identity". Each of those women knew the fear, disorientation, and depression of unresolved gender dysphoria for some part of their lives, as did Pauline and I, and as all of my friends in the River City Gems have known it, whether they are part-time or in full gender transition. Will these murders continue to escalate year by year, until everyone in the trans community is driven back into hiding, or hounded out of our own country, or we all lie dead on mortuary slabs? Or will the good people of the world eventually reclaim the moral high ground, and somehow turn around this societal death-spiral into darkness that our nation seems to be descending into?

Will there ever come a November when all I have to plan for is Veteran's Day and Thanksgiving, and the Transgender Day of Remembrance will be a thing of the past? I hope never to forget the sacrifice of the hundreds of transgender men and women that have lost their lives to violence, hatred, trans-phobia, and racism in this sorry world we are living in. But I pray for the day that I can forget about having to save the date for an annual TDOR service. I pray for the day when no more little kids, who are living somewhere on the LGBTQ spectrum, are beaten, bullied, repressed, and tormented by their schoolmates, their teachers, or even by their own parents and siblings, just because they are "different". I pray for the day when all trans people, of whatever age, race, or nation of residence, simply live in joy, without fear, and with as much acceptance in their societies as their cis-gender brothers and sisters. Namaste to all, and I hope for a happy Holiday season for everyone.

Love and hugs,
Laura-Ann Charlot
Sacramento, CA

Monday, November 19, 2018

Not A Life Choice -What About Transmen?

I noted also at First Event, a transgender conference in Massachusetts that they have added Transmasculine tracts over the years, but the focus mainly was Transwomen. I found the anomaly rather curious. Why is it that there are less Transmen? Could it be to the patriarchal society we live in that families have to have a male progeny to “carry on the name”. Could it be that babies born intersexed or with androgynous genitalia were “doctored” to be boys? This has happened and in one case the person, later in life, attacked the doctor who did it to them.


Emma has some thoughts on the subject.

Friday, November 16, 2018

Five Years of the MN T-Girls!

final updated logo letteringFive years ago the MN T-Girls had our very first outing.

It was held at a coffee shop in south Minneapolis that sadly is no longer in business.  I remember waiting, a little nervously, to see if anyone would show up.  But they did.  I think there were a total of four others who made it that day.  I was surprised that this little event was successful and a little proud of myself that the first event had happened.





It's so nice to see active trans groups out there.  As I've said so many times, it's these groups that provide friendship and understanding to those of us who have felt so alone.  Congratulations to Hanna and the MN T-Girls.  Go here for a nice post and lots of pictures of the group.

Thursday, November 15, 2018

TransAwarenessWeek: Skirting Gender by Vera Wylde

Skirting Gender is one of the most positive, life-affirming explorations of crossdressing and gender-fluidity I have ever read. There is no shame, embarrassment, or guilt. There is no talk of regrets, purging, or gender confusion. Vera is a person comfortable in two genders, someone with twin roles to play, twin personas to explore, who is equally comfortable in both.



It's time to feature a book review, from our friend, Sally!  

Monday, November 12, 2018

Well, it’s been a while to say the least.

Walking around the supermarket in my dress was amazing, I really felt quite normal and content, like this was how I should always be. Bought another falafel salad (seriously yummy), dessert etc and did the self checkout thing, though my confidence wobbled a little when I saw the queue. No need to fret though as it moved quickly enough.


I love to read blog posts, like this one from Rachel.  It's just a description of a day of Rachael being herself.  It's what blogging is all about.  I believe this is the first post featured from Rachel, who has been blogging since 2015.

Saturday, November 10, 2018

The right frame of mind

Some of the Chams' folk were kind enough to provide their stories on what they get from attending. This is part of us trying to improve our website and make things more personal.





I've encouraged many of you over the years to attend a local TG group, assuming you have one in your community.  I don't know what I'd do without my friends in the Gems.  One of the many active groups out there are the Nottingham Chameleons....The Chams, as Lynn refers to her group.   

In her most recent post, The right frame of mind, Lynn writes about her week (as we can always count on Lynn to do :)).  She also includes a link to some personal Q and A's from some of the Chams.  It's good stuff.  I love the questions, and there's even a trans-guy included.

Suddenly disclosed gender dysphoria

And just because someone has not noticed signs of gender dysphoria, does not mean they were not obvious to anyone open to seeing them. Some children repress their gender identity when they know they will gain only grief for it.






Clare discusses "Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria" and has reason to believe that it really does not exist.  I certainly hid it in many ways from my old-world parents.  Read more here.

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

10 Years of T-Central!

Image result for 10 year anniversary clip art

T-Central will be 10 years old on November 8th. How time flies!  In those ten years, we've had about 2,050,000 page views.  That may seem like a large number, but compared to commercial sites, it's not.  Nevertheless, for a trans related blogger site, I'll take it!

T-Central was established in 2008, by Lori D, an active blogger at the time. Lori's dream was to have a site to showcase transgender blogs from across the "spectrum". She chose the Blogger application to create T-Central, and it has done well by us over the years. We continue to feature interesting blog posts and new blogs on a regular basis.

In 2010, Lori retired from the world of trans-blogging to focused on her transition. She entrusted me with the keys to this wonderful site that she built. A number of links to other trans-related sites have been added since Lori left, but T-Central has otherwise remained unchanged, including the look of the site. Over the years, there have been several co-administrators. Currently, besides myself (located in California), we have Halle, who lives in the province of Ontario, in Canada, and Jenny, from England, in the UK.

Lori wanted T-Central to be a class act, with no ads and no pornographic material. We intend to keep it that way. There are some blog posts with clearly adult material in them relating to hormones, gender reassignment surgery, dating, etc., but blogs with pornographic material are not allowed to be listed. It can be a "fine-line", at times. Our bloggers write about transgender issues, which obviously can include sexual subject material.  The goal has been to keep it clean, fun and educational.

In T-Central's early years, Lori, asked me to write a post relating to not transitioning.  She recognized me then, as I recognize myself now, as someone born transsexual but with the will power and motivation to stay the course and not transition.  When Lori asked me if I would take over the site, I told her that the only reason she would choose me is for long-term stability of the site simply because most trans bloggers just stop blogging after they transition.  Knowing I probably wouldn't would make me a good choice, right?  Lori denied that, but I still maintain that it was as good as reason as any!

Last, but not least, if it wasn't for you wonderful bloggers out there, T-Central would not exist.  I love you all.  Please keep the posts coming.

 - Calie

Saturday, November 3, 2018

Milestone

Without good friends, I don’t think I would have managed the journey as intact. And without the common decency of total strangers it would have been next to impossible.









It's been one year since Chrissy had her gender reassignment surgery.  Here's wishing her many more years of good friendships and happiness in the body she should have been born in.

Thursday, November 1, 2018

dysphoria versus euphoria

I am currently well past the euphoria stage and the liberation excitement has subsided into more everyday living. Putting on a dress and heels today is hardly a chore but it no longer carries the charge it once did. It just feels normal and right.



Gender dysphoria can lead to euphoria, for some.  And,I suppose you could refer to the euphoria as "The Pink Fog".  Whatever you call it, Joanna's, past all of that and life is just, well....normal.  Go here to read more.

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

A Thousand Feet, Ten Miles Apart

I suppose the thing with starting a new job is that I was in two minds on what I would wear. ‘Start as you mean to go on’ is what some say and I think starting wearing something that’s a little more for the feminine side is a whole lot easier than wearing some standard shirt, trousers and plain old masculine shoes office expectation and at a later date start wearing something that makes people question what’s going on.



For the most part, this is simply a blog post about Hanna's search for a comfortable pair of boots.  What makes it special and unique is Hannah's lovely writing.  Do take the time to read this one.

Monday, October 29, 2018

A (Brief) Visit to the Tunnel of Love, or My (Mis)Adventure in Stirrups

In true Cass fashion, the appointment was... well, unique. We did a full physical, including a gyno exam - which is where the "only Cassidy" part comes in.





I so love this girl!  I also love Cass' writing.  Her blogs are infrequent (not as infrequent as mine however), but never boring.  This one is an update on life in Cassidy Land.  Of note is Cass' gyno exam.  Yep, that exam....the one requiring  feet in the stirrups.  This one was not without incident.  What happened?  If you haven't read it already, go here for the rest of the story.   Thanks, Girl, for sharing this with us!

They can't take it away from me

........being female is something in which there is always more to learn. This is the thing that so many of those speed transitioners I mentioned earlier so often get wrong, they spend their 18 months collecting medical procedures like gold stars on a coffee shop reward card and then emerge at the other end without socialisation, it hasn't magically made them a woman in anything but if they are lucky, looks. They either fall flat on their faces and begin the socialisation process a bit wiser, or they retreat into that internalised transphobia and become embittered and afraid of their own shadows in case anyone inevitably figures out their pasts. It's no way to live.



What a nice post, from Jenny, and it says a lot. She's had her gender confirming surgery and she's bitter about how long it has taken to get through the UK medical system; nearly 10 years.  But, that's not the message.  That 10 years of waiting had a positive side to it.  Read, They can't take it away from me, for the details.

Sunday, October 28, 2018

Putting On Female Clothes

My new dress from Aimee is amazing. It fits my body perfectly. But! And this isn't a bad "but," just a fact-of-life situation. 






And the but???  Read, Putting On Female Clothes, for the answer and several comments.

Friday, October 26, 2018

Betrayal - Only Myself To Blame

I suppose I only really have myself to blame for what's happened, I should never have told her given the fact that she was still only a child and that it was always going to end like this come the first big adolescent teen tantrum!
 

As they say, you live and learn. 
 
 
This is a sad story, from Charlotte.  She outed herself to one of her daughters and has lived to regret it.  Thanks to Charlotte for sharing and, remember.....time heals all.

Thursday, October 25, 2018

Supergirl’s new transgender heroine makes a must hear speech

......Nia Nal tries to convince her editor, James Olsen, to write an editorial condemning the increasing racist violence, and she does so by explaining the similarities between xenophobia and transphobia.


I remember buying the Supergirl comic books when I was a kid.  I've always loved the character and looked up to her.  Supergirl has been a series on the American CW network for several years now and I'm still a fan.  This year, they introduced Nicole Maines as a transgender character who outed herself in the last episode.  She's so pretty and so cute and she is trans in real-life.  She transitioned at a young age and one would never know she was born a male.  So, why has she outed herself to the world and taken on this character?  Nicole is on a mission for trans-rights and, for that, I say she rocks!

Jack has included a clip of the scene in his post.

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

“They Look Normal” – The Case For Puberty Blockers

Faced with this difficult choice any parent might question the advice of the GIDS team. But if it was my child I would do some research.  I would check every footnote and ask who benefited from every intervention on offer. I would reject simple or emotive answers and would have no patience with euphemism or bland reassurance. I would think hard because the future happiness of my child was in my hands.



The title may be deceiving in that it actually questions the case for puberty blockers.  I wish to hell that puberty blockers were around when I was a child, because I would indeed look like a normal female now, but the author of this post has some well thought out points as to why it's not a simple yes when a doctor or therapist suggests a parent's child go on puberty blockers.  

Monday, October 22, 2018

White House Plan To Eradicate Transgender From Gender Definition

Individuals are going to feel empowered to discriminate and they will. 







Is it all a bad dream?  Comments, from Rhonda and Hannah.

Saturday, October 20, 2018

Waiting Room

I shouldn’t be late for my surgical consultation. It’s the last step before gaining something I’ve desperately wanted since I was fourteen, maybe even younger. I should be early like I usually am for things that are important to me. Maybe I have an unconscious need to make this step hard to prove to myself I’m really trans. Internalized transphobia suck



I suspect that only someone who is trans can truly appreciate this post which is simply about the trip to and the wait in the surgeon's office.  So nicely written, by Heather.  

Friday, October 19, 2018

Our Different Journey

Those of you who've either followed this blog, or have had a poke around the site, may well have come across the Our Different Journey section of the site. To be honest, it's something I did in days gone by. Those answers are snippets in time from when they were written. While I think things may have changed for some of those writers, perhaps much will still be as is. I'm still thankful they took the time to answer my questions and share what they've learned about being trans.



In her current post, Lynn reminds us of a page on her blog site titled, Our Different Journey.  It's well done, so take a look. 
 

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Dresses

Wearing a dress is a treat.  It allows you to make a statement about yourself.  A sundress, a cute and playful dress, a business-like dress, a midcalf dress, long sleeved, sleeveless, floral, striking, formal, an LBD, casual, on and on.  You can go so many ways and for me, it just defines femininity.









Just a few words, from Kandi, about dresses and being brave enough to wear them.

Monday, October 15, 2018

A Horse Of Many Colours



It’s been a really difficult year, not at all what I’d hoped for. But despite itself, it’s delivered me to a pretty good place. Mostly because it’s the first year I’ve felt I was starting to do Adult properly. That’s Capital A adult, not XXX adult, for the sake of clarity.






It's almost one-year of post-op for Chrissy.  In this post, she comments on the highs and lows, but ends up on a high,

Sunday, October 14, 2018

farewell

Enjoy your respective retirements and don't let the door hit you on your way out.







Who is Joanna writing about?  It's not Joanna's farewell.  Find the answers here and celebrate with all of us.

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Buying women’s clothes, as a man

-Those look nice. Are they for you?

-Yes. I was looking for a pair of warm Granny slippers, and was pleasantly surprised by these, I said. They are fluffy inside and out, ankle-boots, black with lots of tiny gold-coloured metal bits like stars in the night. I also got socks.



Clare relates a shopping experience she had while presenting in a more or less androgynous mode.

Tuesday, October 9, 2018

Bra Vignettes by Shay Hansen

No amount of personal acceptance or encouragement from family and friends changes how, at some point, these men will have to reveal they wear bras to a stranger. As much as I believe in the innate goodness of people, there will always be those who cannot or will not understand why a man would choose to wear what is typically defined as a woman’s garment.



I found this from the daily blog of a very TG friendly bra store. This is a guest post, written by a male with gynecomastia.  He relates some of his experiences when others realize he's wearing a bra.

Friday, October 5, 2018

Facelifts Three Types






Wednesday, October 3, 2018

Ok, just too spout out an opinion and my understanding of UMBRELLAS.

There often and lately seems to be a question of who is trans? Who is more trans? Who suffers more? Who has it harder? Who is an ally and who is part of the nation of trans people.




Caity's writing about THAT umbrella.

Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Getting over my Shopping Fears.

While browsing through the makeup aisle recently,  I thought about how long it has taken me to get to the point where I am comfortable enough on my own to head into the store and look at and buy whatever makeup or clothes I want. 



Crossdressing or transitioning, shopping fears need to be overcome.  Cynthia relates her experience and has some tips.

Monday, October 1, 2018

My Story

I awake on the couch. It is quiet, and the room is dark. The TV must be off.

He is leaning over the couch kissing me.

I black out.



This must have been very emotional for Daniella to write and share with us.  It's a story about a predator....an abuser....a teacher....a devastating experience for a young boy.

My Story, is very well written and very emotional, from Daniella.

Sunday, September 30, 2018

Who wears the trousers ?

Maybe I can find places as a female playing with some tropes of male dandy, somewhere at the intersection of soft butch and drag king. A kind of queering of queer. This was the siren song of the trousers. An expansion, rather than a change, but still a welcome one.


Butch or femme?  Trousers or skirts?  Choices, Sophia's Choices.

Gender Dysphoria (GD)

......when I was young I was not able to look in the mirror as it was very emotionally painful to do so. Thanks to HRT I can now look in the mirror without issues. But at the same time I still have a body image issue that I am not 100% okay with.



So what has she done about it?  A few words, from Aleana, on a subject we all know too much about.

Saturday, September 29, 2018

Dressing Up and Dressing Down

I don’t mind stopping by Starbucks or Target in four inch heels, but when I see girls wearing cute, comfy clothes I start to wonder if I could pull off the leggings/tank top/hoodie look.











Oh, this girl can pull it off.  Short post but, as is always the case with Hanna, several nice photos.  She's looking great!

Thursday, September 27, 2018

Kleinfelter’s – Female-Style

Whether male or female Kleinfelter’s, I gotta say that it is good that I developed a female self-identification. I lacked critical male genitalia; my anatomy never could have been surgically corrected to male. I had no internal anatomy to connect to anything, to function as male.




A very interesting blog post on the author's intersex condition.  There are many "degrees" of XXY.  This one is 1 in 100,000.

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

HRT 6 Month Update

Don’t go into HRT thinking that you will suddenly be the woman (or man) you have always seen in your mind. I so hope it does for you and for me, but the reality is that it is a small step along the way, but even one step is important.



This update is good reading for those thinking about HRT.  The author gives explicit details as to the changes in her body and the resulting effects, so reader beware.

Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Comfortable As Female - An Interesting Concept

Do you feel more comfortable when wearing men's clothes or women's clothes?

 

  

 

Rhonda comments on a question she found on Quora.

34 Years Later…This is Us.

Today this is us. Not a fairy tale, or a romance novel but a love story. A love story that will only stop when “til death do us part” but will continue to be held and cherished forever.







This one will bring happy tears to your eyes.  Lovely post.

Monday, September 24, 2018

Why I won't ask my doctor to refer me to the gender clinic

I have always asked, though, that my medical record not be marked with any transgender indicators. Why? Well, if I cannot be offered any suitable help, I don't want my record marked unnecessarily with details of my being trans that makes it easier for Nazis to round me up, like the Dutch Jews. 


Sound crazy?  Maybe not.  You can decide for yourself by reading Sue's well thought out post.

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