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Friday, September 22, 2017

GCS? Y-E-S! :-p

No burying the lead here: your humble blogstress Cassidy is in Montreal, and had my GCS on Monday with Dr. Brassard! Woo hoo!!!






This one is a very emotional post for me.  I met Cass, for lunch in a New England diner, when she was first beginning her transition.  I am just so happy for her!  Now, with her gender confirming surgery this past Monday, her journey is nearly over and she's set to truly begin the life as the woman she was born to be.

If you get a chance, please drop her a comment and express your joy for her.

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

The effect of HRT on crosssdressing

I now enjoy presenting as a male, for the first time. I wish my Dad was alive to see his wish that his oldest son now enjoys buying male clothes and looking good in a suit jacket with matching shirt and tie. I now own 5 pair on men's shoes. I NEVER owned more that 2 pair at once.









Has hormone therapy stopped Susan's desire to crossdress?  Read more on, The effect of HRT on crosssdressing, from Susan King.








Monday, September 18, 2017

Being different

One is to let myself be part of the mainstream of life, taking my place as an accepted member of several interlinking circles of people, mostly local, and very definitely real-life. It's a world of older women in the main, of course - mostly women in their fifties or older, but with a sprinkling of younger women too.



The lovely Lucy has one of the longest running blogs listed on T-Central.  She transitioned years ago, yet still updates her blog frequently.  Being different is really not a TG post but, as is the case with all of Lucy's posts, it's well written and, in many ways, relevant to us.


Sunday, September 17, 2017

Why Being Stylish Matters

What is fabulous is that you have the power to change people’s perception of you.  The clothes you choose to wear, the way you groom and whether or not you choose to smile are all within your control.





Here's a post, with good advise, from Tasi, a member of my local TG group, the River City Gems.

Saturday, September 16, 2017

Meditations on belonging

Guys, I’ve observed, generally do one of two things when around strippers. Either their higher brain functions are short-circuited and they think only with their dicks and they think they’re about to get off and it seems they’re on the edge of going berserk, or they mentally step back to an objectification remove like predators looking at prey.

That moment was terrifying and beyond uncomfortable for me.


Heather takes you through a life of not belonging. I relate and I'm sure many of you do too.

Friday, September 15, 2017

Kids’ books celebrating gender expression are for adults, too.

Here’s what I know: Fear is learned.
Hatred is learned. Intolerance of differences is learned. Transphobia and homophobia are learned. And none are learned from children’s picture books at the public library.


Julie Tarney is a speaker and advocate for LGBTQIA youth.  In this post, she reviews two books, recommended for both the kids and their parents.  Let's hope they end up in libraries.

Thursday, September 14, 2017

Capturing Confidence

slit dress 2Confidence is everything.  Whether you are a t-girl or not, it’s confidence that gets us through the day, helps keeps our head held high as we strut through the mall or make eye contact with those who stare at us.








Excellent advice on Capturing Confidence, from Hannah.  Hannah is a married crossdresser and prefers the term, T-Girl, as it applies to her.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Closet: Perspective of a Nonbinary Youth

The closet is the box boxing us into the social norm. But here’s something that makes it more complicated. The closet has locks on the doors. These locks are the people you are unsure as to how they will react to being outside the closet. Who knows—they may not talk to you, they may lecture you about how it’s “wrong”, they may even kick you out. They keep you “locked” inside the closet.


This is an interesting guest post on Dara's blog.  The author, a male, draws a line between the non-binary community and the trans community.  As he puts it, ".....there are days when I feel like a boy and or I feel like a girl and it flips randomly".  Closet: Perspective of a Nonbinary Youth, is a  good post and well worth the time to read.


Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Rebirth

On Tuesday, the good doctor and his surgical team did what they could to create a physical world for me that genetics could not. Using the material at hand and their extensive understanding of how the body works, they set me on a path. That is all they could do. 






Rebirth is a wonderful post, from Halle.  She's nearing the end of her journey. 

Monday, September 11, 2017

clothes shopping

Going into a woman’s clothing store and feeling comfortable doing it would have been a daunting and virtually unthinkable thing 10 years ago. However, today it is something I don’t give a second thought to. 



I love how Joanna, someone who truly should have been born female, is so comfortable in her world, presenting as female. She is at peace with herself and the body she was born with.  She's a model and example for many of us.  Clothes shopping is really not about clothes shopping at all, but about Joanna's confidence in herself and acceptance by others.

Sunday, September 10, 2017

I Know We Are All Different

“The guy called me miss as I walked up to the counter,” Gorelick says. “But when he was making my sandwich and I had to tell him what I wanted, he started calling me sir.”

 

A short post on vocal therapy, from Diana.  The post includes a link to speech therapy at the University of Connecticut.

Friday, September 8, 2017

Let this one go, Mom. What will be will be. (And it’ll be OK.)

IMG_5115A worried mother of a three-year-old sent me an email recently, asking for my advice.  She was trying to answer the very same question that plagued me when my child was the same age and saying the same things:  Is it OK to let such a young child transition to another gender?  Or to even let them know that it might be a possibility for them to do so at some point?  


Marlo answers the question in Let this one go, Mom. What will be will be. (And it’ll be OK.)

This is the first time Gendermom has been featured on T-Central.  Marlo (pseudonym) has a six year old daughter.  You can read the basics of her story in, My Penis Girl.

Thursday, September 7, 2017

Clothes Make the Lady

Probably one of the hardest things is wearing a bra. Unfortunately, just because you start taking hormones doesn’t mean that you wake up the next morning with fully formed breasts. Just like any teen girl, it takes time, years for most. Investing in a great fitting bra doesn’t work that well if you are still developing.



Emma chats a bit about buying clothes for what was once a male frame.  She shares her experiences on sizing, and places to shop in Clothes Make the Lady.

the sisterhood

My young waitress couldn’t have been much older than 20 and she kept calling me love during breakfast which is something I have noticed some women do here.



Joanna points out how women address each other in this particular region she is visiting.  More musings from Joanna's every day life.

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

A manicure and finally just a little Susan time.

It was a wonderful day. I sat here at Starbucks for a couple hours catching up on e-mails and of course my blog. I really appreciate my time out as I am limited now.



It was a good day!  Susan got her nails done and also got a new pair of sandals.  She tells you all about her nail treatment in great detail, but also mentions a cruise to Mexico that her local TG group (Rose City TGirls) has organized.  They're inviting everyone so, if you're interested, read A manicure and finally just a little Susan time.

Monday, September 4, 2017

Interview with Fran Fried

Fran: Well, I’m a writer, an editor, a DJ, a daughter, a sister, a good friend – and, oh, yeah, by the way, I’m trans. I’m out and about in the everyday world, and if you don’t know me, chances are you won’t read me. As far as I can tell, with my friends, being trans is just incidental; first and foremost, to them, as well as myself, I’m Fran. The gender dysphoria is just one facet of an interesting life – a big, honking facet, but still, just one nonetheless.


 Another good one, from Monika...an Interview with Fran Fried.

Sunday, September 3, 2017

The Penultimate Post

I call this the penultimate post because it is the next to the last post I will write for this blog.  This blog is not going away, nor am I.  My transition is not ending, just as each and every one of us never end our own life's transitions, whether you be transgender or not.  What is going away is the need for me to chronicle my gender transition.


It's always sad to see a blogger go away.  In the case of our bloggers who have completed their transitions, it makes sense however.  They're done with acting, followed by a period of transition.  Now, they simply want to put everything behind them and get on with life in the gender they should have been born in.  

Such is the case with Christen and her Penultimate Post.  In this one, she fills in the blanks.  You're going to want to read it!

Friday, September 1, 2017

Guest Post - It's Not a Lifestyle Choice!

Laura-Ann, is a friend I met via our very large TG group in Northern California (River City Gems).  She has offered up another guest post for T-Central.  This girl really need to start up her own blog.  She writes so well!

It's Not a Lifestyle Choice!

For a while now, I have occasionally come across posts on social media referring to people in the LGBTQ community as having made a "lifestyle choice". Please don't refer to my gender transition as a "lifestyle choice". For many transwomen and transmen, it was a "life or death" choice. A lifestyle choice is like, "do I want to buy a sedan, an SUV, or a minivan for my next car?". A gender transition, and the dysphoria that precedes it, is a little more serious than deciding what kind of car you want to drive, or whether to redo the flooring in your house with carpet or hardwood. I can't speak for any other transgender person, but I will tell you what it was like for me. For 2 years, following the death of my wife of 29 years, I struggled with my gender dysphoria, becoming ever more disoriented, and almost losing sight of who I was. On June 4th, 2016, I was dressing in a man's suit - I had only just purchased it - to go to a formal dinner, and it just felt so horrible, so flat-out wrong, that I wanted to tear that suit off, burn it, crawl under the bed, and die. I had been presenting as a woman 80% of the time for five months at that point, but I had not yet come to a clear understanding of what was happening to me, and I had not yet realized that I was in fact a transgender woman.
At the moment of my most extreme gender dysphoria and distress that night, while I was trying to knot my tie, the thought passed through my mind that I didn't have to do this any more. That I could, and should, accept myself as being transgender. That I could ask my therapist for permission to transition, quit fighting it, and move forward. What that train of thought felt like, was that some huge weight that had been crushing me had been lifted off, and I was free. Gender dysphoria is an emotional disconnect that can manifest itself in depression so severe that the victim may eventually attempt suicide if the issue is not addressed and resolved. I made it through my own penultimate gender identity crisis, and thanks to the support I have received from family and friends, I am in transition myself, and much, much happier than I had been at any time in the last 4 years.


I know that I am a transwoman, and that I have always been so. It just took 58 years for the walls that society forced me to build around my female gender identity to finally crumble under the pressure. I am not transitioning because it's fun, or because I'm bored and wanted to try a new lifestyle, or because I was dissatisfied with being a guy. I did it because the pain of continuing to pretend to be a man in my own mind was beyond my limit of toleration; it was transition or die. I do not expect any cisgender person, whether religious or not, to understand gender identity disorder or gender dysphoria on an emotional level. You can no more understand what people like me feel, in terms of our gender identity, than you would understand what a beautiful sunset would "look like", if you were blind from birth. But that's okay, as long as you can understand that, in every other way except for our gender issues, we are just people, like everyone else. We are doctors, lawyers, teachers, chefs, artists, musicians, scientists, engineers, cops, soldiers and sailors, and accountants...every job or profession that exists probably has trans people working in it somewhere, and doing just as well at it as their cisgender co-workers. We're just people, who love our kids and our spouses, same as cisgender people do, and all we ask from life is to be valued by our fellow citizens the same as everyone else. And to not have to live in fear of being fired from our jobs, or murdered by people being consumed by hatred, just because we are not now living in our assigned-at-birth gender.



Laura-Ann

Thursday, August 31, 2017

The shifting sands of dysphoria

The more I learned, the more I discovered gender transition is a process. I also learned my experience of being trans and how I experienced dysphoria was different than others. In the 1990s, most trans women transition models were to be femme, attracted to men, and want your penis to be gone, gone, gone. That last bit made me feel not trans enough for a long while.


Heather discusses how her dysphoria has changed over the years....even after social transition.  Read more at, The shifting sands of dysphoria.

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

It’s work becoming me

Part of me relishes the simplicity of
being a guy. Get up, shower, throw on some clothes. Done and done. It’s not sexy, it’s not fun, but damn it’s easy. I look like a slob most of the time, especially at work, but who cares? Right? And when I do dress up, it’s still quick and painless. Slacks, a dress shirt, and done. The difference is quite stark.


Stefani has found that it's a bit more work being her.  It's a nice, thoughtful post, worth reading.

Adjusting my Bra straps

We older girls, never had those girl events in which we learned those little things about female clothes. I always buy my bras and just wear them. When I was filling them with socks, bird seed (Thanks Stana), paper, etc, I never thought about adjusting the bra straps.









Just a short one, with visuals, from Susan King.

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

how a friend helped me clarify things further

Many transgender people, myself included, worried about cross gender arousal and what it meant. Did it disqualify our transgender feelings somehow? was it a sign of perversion? 



The answer, of course, is none of the above.  Read more about how a friend helped Joanna clarify things further.  

A bit of advice

About three years ago my family (parents, sisters, daughter in the US and I) were tore apart by my choice to tell my sisters (who I trusted) about me stepping out of the shadows. Sometimes trusting others is the worst thing you can do. I asked them not to tell anyone that I will do it in my own time and when I felt it was time to do so. But my sisters broke that trust and outed me to a lot of people without my permission.

This is a good post, from Aleana, about the consequences of being outed by your own loved ones.  Take a moment to read, A bit of advice.

Monday, August 28, 2017

Who Are You?

I was shocked to hear echoes of that persona who was his best friend, his very male friend for all those years, talking through me very, very briefly. It was the cadence of my voice from those days, not the pitch, but still I was taken by surprise. 






Just what is Halle writing about?  Read all about it in her short post, Who Are You?  I might add that my dear friend also has something to share with all of you in this post, so drop by and leave her a comment.

Saturday, August 26, 2017

The Final Coming Out

My dad is a complex person. And my relationship with him has been equally complex. I was not the kid and I was not the son he wanted. What he wanted was a small version of him. Or at least a small version of the idealized version of himself he liked to think he was. This ideal son would love and excel at sports, enjoy out-doorsey activities, be an Eagle Scout, be the life of every party, the most popular person in their peer group, and then go on to attend collage at West Point before becoming a career soldier and war hero. That's what my dad wanted.



Faith is finally out.  The last reveal?  A letter to her dad, which is included in her post,  The Final Coming Out.

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Old Note Analyzed

 


I realized my life as I knew it was over.  I was spinning swiftly toward suicide.






In this post, Sophie shares a Facebook post HE made in 2013.  Things were falling apart, including her marriage.  She realized she was trans....and more.  It was a dark time, but the post is about accepting things and working towards change.

Monday, August 21, 2017

"You're just going to have to live with it."

"You don't want hormones" - excuse me? When did they even get a mention in this visit? However, he continued, "your work and family situations mean that it would be too hard for you to transition. You're not depressed. You're just going to have to live with it."



Selina is a bit depressed about this.  I'm sure she could use your support right now.   Why not read her post and file a comment....

Sunday, August 20, 2017

progress

As transgender individuals we try to shoehorn ourselves into roles that go against that nature rather than respect it and this was what I needed to learn for myself.







It's really nice to see how Joanna has come to terms with her dysphoria.  It's progress, and we can all learn from her.

Transgender Minutia

While cis women vary widely in eating habits, we trans girls are not afforded the same luxury. We just have to be better.







A short post on the differences on eating habits between men and women, from Cyrsti.

Friday, August 18, 2017

Humble Beginnings - Pandora and I, et al.

I had to register with a GP and the lovely Indian lady doctor in the surgery around the corner from the house took me on. I explained my situation and the fact that I felt I should have been female, and asked her advice. Surprisingly she had come across this before and was familiar with the Benjamin protocols, the real life test, hormone therapy and referrals for psychologist assessments etc.


This post is a life-story, from Dawn.  After leaving the Services, she realized that transitioning from male to female was in her future.  At this point, she's in her 60th year, has a partner and is quite happy.  Did she transition?  You can find the answer by reading about her Humble Beginnings.  This is a rather long post, so grab some tea or coffee and enjoy.

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Six years of blogging

Six years ago today I started this blog just to put something about me out there and to encourage other trans people to live a more as their authentic selves. 


Sue's been doing this blog thing for 5 years now.  That alone is reason enough to get this post featured.  And, while you're visiting Sue's blog, consider following it too, so you don't miss another post.  This is one of the good things about Blogger!


Monday, August 14, 2017

The Feminine Differential - Lipstick

During early outing as Rhonda, lipstick scared me. Here is the scenario; As someone who would cross dress on trips, I learned that some shades of lipstick would stain my lips and be nearly impossible to completely get off the next day. The “you made out with a hooker all night look”. I had no concept of what looked good or the big question, how to shop for lipstick.  



Rhonda does now and shares some of her tricks and techniques in another post from her, The Feminine Differential series - Lipstick.

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Where I’m at now

I remember the uncertainty and fear i once had. The wonder of if I’ll make it to where I’m at now. Though didn’t expect to be alone,(though i knew i would be 14 years ago), I’m good. I’m a far cry from who i was two or even one year ago. The fear of some things are all gone. The fear of others still a reality.





Candi has traveled a long way in her Journey.  Read, Where I’m at now, to find out....well....where she is now. 

Saturday, August 12, 2017

The Wardrobe Assimilation

All of this came about because I decided to do something about the clothes pile.



So.......

You have a wife who has the BIG closet.  

You have a wardrobe for your "him" side and growing wardrobe for your more important "her" side.

What do you do about your clothes pile?

The answers are in The Wardrobe Assimilation, from Beth.

Friday, August 11, 2017

The aperture of happiness

There was no light for parts of my gender journey. Darkness closed in around me as I struggled to figure out what to do. I felt my way along in the dark, bruising my shins and falling down hard a few times. Happiness and hope would have been light, but none shone. My aperture of happiness was closed.


The aperture of happiness is now nearly wide open for Heather, and in some unexpected ways.  Go to her post to find out all about how the light is now pouring in.

The public trans woman

I told her I do not think transition is the final answer, and certainly not the operations which sometimes go with it- they are part of the doctors’ desire to create a Solution, clear definite and apparently Scientific, and laypeople’s demand of that from doctors. That ended our conversation.


In another really well written post, Clare talks about going public with her views on transition.  You need to read between the lines, but it's obvious that some agree and some don't. The public trans woman....from the lovely and brave, Clare Flourish.

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Nothing better to do

I now no longer see myself as ever likely to relapse and begin crossdressing again.  I see no need, no desire, I feel no urge, no craving, I don’t view any on-line imagery relating to the subject matter, and if I’m honest, I barely log in to my blog account, or take that long to view other the content of other bloggers.


Some say it can't be done... That is, if you're somewhere in the trans spectrum, it never goes away because you're born with it and it's not an addiction.  The Recovering Crossdresser (formerly known as Fiona), is trying to prove otherwise.  This post is worth reading for those who consider crossdressing an addiction and want to put it past them.

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

I Now Know…

As an older trans woman, who fought with herself for decades before finally being able to throw off the internalized transphobia and even misogyny that frightened me from embracing myself, there are consequences to having waited so long to transition.




I Now Know....is a very well thought out post, from Liz.  The title is self explanatory.  Liz has a long list detailing what she knows now and didn't know then.  Many of you should relate.

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Why Can’t I…

I know this sounds melodramatic, especially if you haven’t experienced anything similar. It’s a problem I have run into when trying to explain what I am feeling to someone who isn’t lgbt, never mind trans.






Should she put things off until.....  An emotional post, from Kira.

Color Analysis

Now that my hair is grey/white, I see that yellow next to my face, washes me out. I need white of vibrant colors to keep me for looking dull.  




I bit about color analysis, from Rhonda.

Friday, August 4, 2017

Fear and Loathing???

Many people ask me about the highs and lows of a transgender transition. My answer is simple, consider what would be the toughest hill to climb as a trans woman, then try to do it




 
It's short and sweet but with a message, from long-time blogger, Cyrsti.  Oh, and what was her toughest hill to climb?  Read, Fear and Loathing???, for the answer. 

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Marriage is Growing Together

Relationships, marriage especially, grow through communication.  If there is no talking, there is no relationship, at least in my mind. 





Anyone who knows me knows that marriage and family is of utmost importance to me.  My wife knows, as does Nadine's.  Does you spouse know?  Nadine has a few things to say about the subject.

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

The End of Days

Gosh, I could be reading about my own marriage, only I'm the wife. Sorry to hear it's over but also I think you're sensible. My husband and I should have done that years ago. Intimacy has long gone and all that's left is anger and resentment and resignation. I will never consider crossdressing a healthy condition after living this. I can't believe this has become my life and I wonder often how it is that I was so unlucky as to hit this lottery. Like your wife I was a beautiful young woman once with many prospects - and now here I am. 


Vivienne did this post back in November of 2016.  I didn't feature it at the time.  There was a lot of emotion in her writing and I just felt that Vivienne wrote the post for therapeutic reasons and then might pull it.   The post is still up however and, to date, there have been 33 comments.  

Consider sitting down with a cup of tea or coffee and taking some time to read not only Vivienne's post, The End of Days, but also the comments.  The quote, above is but a mere glimpse of a very emotional comment recently filed by the former wife of a crossdresser.

Sunday, July 30, 2017

Can’t ever go back…

The primary reason I write the blog is that after living as a trans woman for 20 years and believing that this was a fixed and essential part of my identity, the discovery that it was not was such a profound one. I think there might be other people in a similar state who have more choice than they think they have.



If you're thinking about transitioning, you might want to take a look at what TWT has to say in, Can’t ever go back….  It may not apply to you, but surgery is serious business, so taking a few minutes to read a blog post might just be worth it for some.

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