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Saturday, July 22, 2017

love of self

You are a clandestine "man in a dress"; you know it and everyone else can too. Your cover has been blown.




I asked Joanna, one of my favorite bloggers and someone I totally relate to, to choose a post for Retro Week.  She chose, love of self.   It's a beautifully written blog post, from three years ago.

Friday, July 21, 2017

Do You Remember the First Time?

I put on some cover-up on my face, the only foundation that I’d bought and it was a little bit light-weight and thin for the type of cover I needed. I did the best I could looking in the large framed mirror that hung over the fireplace of Sarah’s living room.
She took a look at me, um’d and arr’d a bit and said “It’ll do.”




We'll go back about three years, for this Retro-Week post, from Hannah.  Do you remember the first time?

Thursday, July 20, 2017

How does a closet trans person end up married?

So there I was aged about twenty, a spotty geeky student. Clinically depressed and convinced I was a bloke with an unusually active but heavily suppressed female side.



Today's Retro-Week post takes us back to 2010.  Although a lot has changed in Jenny's life, since then, the question, How does a closet trans person end up married?, is one that many ask themselves.  Go to Jenny's post, for her answer.

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

But I am only myself

This is her life 'beyond the curtain'. Before she transitioned, she was advised during therapy that she'd need to take drastic measures to leave the Old Life behind, so that she could embrace the New. She gradually did that over the years, but keeping her wife and family. I admire that huge achievement. She let nobody down. But it hasn't left her free. And the successful burying of the past means that nothing of her difficult journey can be openly celebrated. Nobody in the present life knows about it, except close family. Psychologically this is not good.


It's Retro-Week, on T-Central.  This post,about life after transition, is from Lucy's long running blog and dates back to July of 2014.  

If you ever want to travel in the UK, do browse through Lucy's blog.  She travels a lot around the country and shares some beautiful pictures and stories with her readers.

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Woman trapped in a man’s body

Snakes 1“Woman trapped in a man’s body” is a line I hate, because it oversimplifies, and is wrong, and a line I love, because it explains. Here am I at 46 still finding aspects of myself I hardly dare call “feminine”, which I resent, so that the essential work of loving them is so difficult and time-consuming. I read the phrase, and think, well, that is OK, I am a woman- while parts of me still retort, no, I am a man, and wanting to dress female and use a female name is ridiculous.


It's Retro-Week, on T-Central. This post, dating back about 4 years, is from Clare.  She's discussing that phrase we've all heard too many times.

Monday, July 17, 2017

Top 30 Things Every Crossdressing Man Needs In His Wardrobe To Emulate A Woman

With over 40 years of crossdressing experience under my wide patent belt, I decided I am qualified to put together such a list. So, here is my list of "the necessities" that no man's wardrobe can be without if he wishes to emulate a woman successfully.





It's Retro-Week, on T-Central.  Today's post features Stana's mega-T-blog, Femulate.  

Stana wrote this post in 2007, after reading an article titled, Top 30 Things Every Woman Needs in Her Wardrobe.   Do you have all 30 on Stana's list?

Sunday, July 16, 2017

Dreamy Days and Wandering Minds

I thought about what would happen to those male clothes that I still have left in my wardrobe in abundance should I decide to be outwardly female full-time. Would I really be able to get rid of them even if I knew I would never wear them again? I think though, much like every possession I hate to loose, throwing away my old clothes would feel like throwing away my friends, my family members, that best holiday ever, that point in my life where everything felt good or even my childhood.


There's just no better way to say it, regarding this post: Hannah's thinking again, the time with, Dreamy Days and Wandering Minds

Thursday, July 13, 2017

Sparkle 2017 reflection

20170707_213057Hitting all the bars up and down Manchester’s Gay Village it struck me just how many people had turned up for this years celebration. From drag queens to transsexuals and gay guys to supporting spouses’ the diversity was wonderful. 


There's more than one "T" Sparkle event (including one here in Cali), but the grandest of them all is the UK Sparkle.  This blog post is a wonderful review of the event, and includes lots of lovely pictures.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Patients & Providers: The Trans Buddy Program

Why does every region need a Trans Buddy Program? Transgender people face enormous barriers to care; we must navigate a cis-centric health care system that was not designed to meet our needs. This means forms that assume cis and binary genders, clinic staff and providers who have received little education regarding transgender health, and staff who might not be informed regarding new trans-inclusive policies for patient rooming.


What a great idea.  Read more from the author, Kale Edmiston, PhD is the co-founder of The Trans Buddy Program and former co-director of The Program for LGBTI Health at Vanderbilt University Medical Center.


Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Interview with Cassidy McGuinn

Monika: What would you recommend to all transgender girls struggling with gender dysphoria?

Cassidy: If you can, see a therapist specializing in transgendered clients. It's by far the most important aspect of my transition. My therapist has been a godsend. A friend once told me transitioning is 25% physical and 75% mental/emotional (not sure if she heard/read it elsewhere), and that certainly has been true for me. If seeing a therapist isn't possible, writing out your thoughts can help enormously. Just beginning the process of articulating the tangle of conflicting thoughts and emotions out loud is so incredibly liberating - and empowering.
 
 
Monika has interviewed one of our own (as in a T-Blogger!).  Read all about the girl with the fab red hair in, an Interview with Cassidy McGuinn.

Monday, July 10, 2017

Not accepting the blame and the shame


If a person (who is unconsciously struggling with a fake role) messes up, is the dire result all their fault?
 

And if they had somehow known themselves more truly, and would have behaved differently and done the right thing instead, then are they in any way culpable?


Culpable?  Is/was Lucy a lawyer?

Lucy has one of the oldest, currently running blogs on T-Central.  I had to read this post twice because it certainly rang some bells deep within me.

For those of you who haven't read Lucy's blog, she is a lovely person who loves to travel and takes wonderful photos.  She also transitioned years ago.  Regarding the latter, read the quote above again it it might just make more sense.  The post is, Not accepting the blame and the shame.

Sunday, July 9, 2017

All Me, All The Time

My mother-in-law asked

“What did he say?  He’s going to be late?”

My ex replied “No.  He’s going to be female.”

img_4563“Oh.  Well, if that’s what you want we’re going to have to get used to it sooner or later.”




It's now all Kirsty, all the time.  There's been a few bumps in the road but, for Kirsty, it means relief.  Drop her a note of congratulations.  It's a fairly long post, but well worth taking the time to read.  The post includes her official announcement.

Saturday, July 8, 2017

Surgical liberation

Would I have felt more comfortable with my breasts if they had not been constantly associated with social gender labels like “ladies”, “she” and “ma’am”? Would I have felt my gender dysphoria more keenly had I not suffered from such extreme dissociation for much of my life that it’s hard for me to connect to my body at all? It’s impossible to say, because what we go through makes us who we are. But I had a lot to untangle to get here.


I've always felt that I need to better understand the dysphoria suffered by transmen.  Surgical liberation, by Sam, is a good start.  Sam recently had top surgery and describes what brought him to this point and just how liberating it feels.

Thursday, July 6, 2017

Growing pains

This morning I definitely put on a bra for support. I can tell that the 36D is going to be needed soon. The 36C, I am wearing, is full. It will not take much more before I am "spilling out" of that 36C.








You can always depend on Susan to share her "progress" with you.  This time, it's a bit of discussion about her growing girls and the resulting growing pains.

Wednesday, July 5, 2017

masks

Well here is Alice Dreger comparing men who get off on wearing latex female masks with the transgender population which she she seems to suggest is mostly composed of Autogynephilic men.



My friend, Joanna, links to an absurd 2013 article suggesting the above.  Needless to say, Joanna has a few comments of her own. 

Monday, July 3, 2017

Thoughts on Pride Month

The standards that I had to measure up to as a young boy were set by the family religion, the expectation that I would follow my father’s example, and society.  I knew who I was, but also knew being myself would make me a disappointment.  I had an undeniable identity, but knew I would be humiliated if anyone found out about it.


Rebecca grew up in a Mormon family.  From a very young age she felt she should have been a girl.  Life was even more complicated when, in her senior year, she had feelings for a boy in her school.  Imagine the struggles and conflict inside of her.  In this post, Rebecca shares her story and how it relates to her Thoughts on Pride Month.

Saturday, July 1, 2017

Q: Ain't She Sweet? (A: No. :D)

"Red hair, blue eyes, freckles... and she loves sports!" R said.

He extended his hand to me, respectfully. "My dear, may I have your hand in matrimony?"

"Hey," L said, indignant. "I wanted to ask her!"
 
 
 
I just love feel-good posts and, as a former Bostonian, this one is extra special for me.  My my, our girl, Cass, is such the flirt!   You don't want to miss this one.  Ain't She Sweet?

Friday, June 30, 2017

Learning to be body-conscious

It's been a little odd, one of those surprises, then, in the last month to find myself twice unexpectedly being made aware of them. The first time was for my doctor, who needed to give them a routine examination. No worries, I said, and pulled my top off. To which she reacted with horror, it seems this is something to be done on the examination table with loads of curtains around.


This is a really nice post, from Jenny, who is Learning to be body-conscious.

Thursday, June 29, 2017

I came out to our neighbor

Then I realized he just has no idea, so I spelled it out – I said, “I’m transgender, I’m actually more in the middle, not like I am going to become a man.  But like, at work and my friends and family, I use male pronouns, ‘he/him/his.'"




It's always good for all of us to hear each other's coming out stories.  This one is came out well.

Adventures in Crossdressing: Work Colleagues

HPIM0042cropped........she knows nothing about Daniella. If I spoke to her I was done for. So I just breezed on by as if I was just walking along doing my thing. This may have appeared suspicious or rude, but I doubt she even noticed.




Daniella and her spouse were out shopping, on a school day, when co-workers should be at work.  Oh! No!  What happened?  Read,  Adventures in Crossdressing: Work Colleagues, to find out.

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

The Ultimate Feminine Shoe

.....as I stood in the high heel slides, the lack of any support immediately became evident. Yes the first step took me right out of the shoes. Now bare-foot, I was looking back at the shoes behind me, wondering what just happened?
 
 
Rhonda talks about slides....The Ultimate Feminine Shoe, but watch out...you can hurt yourself in them!

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Defining Normal

Guilt and shame in the transgender community was almost the status quo until recent years, because there was a "perception" that it was, or is, not only abnormal, but also wrong. "


Want to feel better about yourself?  Read, Defining Normal, from Brianna.  It's well written and well thought out. 

Gender and... Coins?

But the cashier, a woman in her forties, was visibly taken aback. She looked at me and said, "I'm surprised you have coins. Men never carry change."






Well, that's a senario I never thought of!  Go to Shybiker's post, Gender and...Coins?, for more.

By the way, Shybiker is a transgender lawyer who enjoys motorcycles, fashion and film.

Monday, June 26, 2017

Paint My Nails for Another Day

I thought about that cafe by the ocean I had looked out from early in the morning on holiday last year. I thought for just a moment that serving treacle thick bitter coffee for a few months to people who wanted to watch life go by on a subtropical island might just be an answer. Time to think. Time to simplify. Time to give myself to actually think about the gender thing.



I just love Hannah's posts.  I love that she can so honestly share her thoughts.  She's just a fabulous writer.  If you haven't read any of Hannah's posts, you're doing yourself an injustice.  If you're wondering why she needs to Paint (her) Nails for Another Day, you'll just have to read her blog post.

Sunday, June 25, 2017

Schoolboys Protest No Shorts Rule – By Wearing Skirts

The idea may also have come from a 14-year-old who wanted to wear shorts and was sarcastically told by the headteacher “Well, you can wear a skirt if you like”.




Xandra, from Scotland, considers herself a genderqueer pansexual crossdresser.  An article about boys wearing skirts caught her eye and is worth featuring.

If you want to read a bit more from Xandra, consider, Myths and Facts of Crossdressing.  It's well written with a little taste of humor embedded within.

Saturday, June 24, 2017

Old dream

My parents had come to see me, although I thinkthey were there to "rescue" me, I don't remember that part precisely however when I was summoned to come off the island and meet them I walked through the tunnel and I was a woman in fact I looked like Jessica Lange as she appeared in King Kong- the 1976 version (which is how I date this.)







I always like to read about dreams.  Many of you have written blog posts about your dreams.  I have too.  In this one, Sophie tells us about her Old dream.

Friday, June 23, 2017

Some random thoughts on going out in the world en-femme

The "ewwww" factor gets in the way for many of us risking a relationship with a cisgender male.  If they see our former masculinity as still defining us, then they get turned off by the potential of having a gay relationship.  And it can be worse.  We're in a no-win situation about telling males about our past status, as we can either be dumped, beaten, or worse.  


Marian shares some interesting personal experiences on going out in the world en-femme.

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Cisgender…

For some reason people seem to think cisgender is an insult, some nasty slur being tossed at them, instead of a simple description. The same people who have no problem being called white, straight, their nationality, their religion, male/female etc suddenly don’t want or like labels when it comes to cisgender. 



Here's a little comment, from Kathleen, on the term, Cisgender.  Does she approve of it?  Read her post to find out.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Maternal Instincts

Now I have an app that warns me when PMS is about to happen.  Before, it was my husband who sensed my mood but didn't comment for fear of 'getting his head bitten off'.  Now I'm more relaxed about it and philosophical.  I deal with it better, knowing that it's just a couple of days. I'm aware that keeping active and even sex will help relieve tension and that relief will come. Sadly I also get warned that my fertile window is coming up.  I wish.  I get aroused much more easily, initiate sex more often and come better but I do know that I won't conceive. My broodiness remains; a real instinctive desire to start a new family and to create new life. The urge to make a baby with a man I know would make a good father. It seems cruel.  The only other women who understand it are other tearfully infertile females too.


Can a TS woman have a period?  I know several who will answer yet.  In this very interesting post, Jane describes the feelings and even tracks her cycle using Clue.  Read, Maternal Instincts, to learn more.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Feminine Differential – Body Shape

I did have an amazing hourglass figure. My restricted waist was about 28-29 inches and by today’s female standards, acceptable.





I'm a bit late in featuring this one.  Rhonda has another blog post in her Feminine Differential series.  This is about corsets. She wore them for a long time, but rarely does now.  Why?  Go to her post, Body Shape, for the answer.

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Bikinis & Fishing

I had obvious breasts, and a bikini on, so I wasn't flaunting anything in anyone's faces, but I was also not hiding myself and conforming to typical behavior either.  I was kind of doing me! 





Yes she was!  Go to Bikinis & Fishing to read more about Nadine's trip.

Saturday, June 17, 2017

Fear

Someone has to save the women and children from the hoards of trans-people staking out bathrooms all over the state, hiding in the stalls, ready to pounce on their loved ones. Even writing these words in jest causes a wave of puzzlement to flow over my mind. Who are all of these people who like to dress up as women, hide out, and attack women.



It's been a while since Julia has blogged.  In this post, she laments about the challenges of being transgender and living in the state of Texas.

Friday, June 16, 2017

Writing About Boys in Skirts: Lori Duron Interviews Lesléa Newman

 https://www.amazon.com/Sparkle-Boy-Leslea-Newman/dp/1620142856/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1497460794&sr=8-1&keywords=sparkle+boyI was also inspired by attending Family Week (in Provincetown, MA) which is run by the Family Equality Council. I saw so many little boys wearing tutus happily running around, filled with joy at being able to be themselves.


One author interviews another author.  Lori shares a wonderful interview with the author of Sparkle Boy, Leslea Newman.

going down with the ship

Homosexual transsexuals were supposed to have lower IQs, be exclusively attracted to men and tended to come from lower income backgrounds. Gynephilic transsexuals were supposedly more likely to come from scientific backgrounds (engineering, etc.), be exclusively attracted to women or be asexual as well as being prone to fetishism.


Joanna just might have a few words to say about this.....ya think?

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Conversion Therapy

I thought reparative therapy died a few years ago with the dissolution of Exodus International, which closed in 2013 after its president apologized, acknowledged that conversion therapy does not work, and that changing sexual orientation is not possible. My understanding is that his ex-wife and a few other remnants of Exodus formed the “Restored Hope Network.”

[I noticed this post, on the right side of T-Central's home page, and wish I had featured it a bit sooner.]

From Wikipedia: 


Conversion therapy is psychological treatment or spiritual counseling designed to change a person's sexual orientation from homosexual or bisexual to heterosexual. Such treatments are controversial, and are a form of pseudoscience.  Medical, scientific, and government organizations in the United States and Britain have expressed concern over conversion therapy and consider it potentially harmful.

Honestly, I thought that these ideas were long gone.  While this post applies to sexual orientation, conversion therapy has also been used, in the past, to treat transvestism and transsexualism.  In this post The Rev. Jeff Martinhauk, from St. Paul’s Cathedral in San Diego, discusses a vigil and protest - this evening - at a national conference on conversion or reparative therapy, being held in San Diego and hosted by a local Christian church.

Interview with Ana

Monika: Are you satisfied with the results of the hormone therapy?
Ana: I’m pleased. I get the most thrill reading my blood test results. Watching which numbers fell and which numbers went up, testosterone and estradiol specifically, gave me a lot of encouragement.
Another thing I’m really pleased with was not having to take a whole lot of spiro or estradiol to get my levels to the ideal area. My testosterone was also fairly low, starting out.
 
 
 
Here's another great interview, from Monika.  This one is with Ana, a girl currently living in rural Washington state.  
 
I know Monika asks the questions but, I'll ask one of her: Monika, I love your interviews, and I know you feature the heroines, but how about a hero (transman) once in a while?  Just thinking..... 

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

It’s Not Your Fault

We need to chat. About capitalism, ecologic destruction, white supremacy, racism, sexism, patriarchy, homophobia, and transphobia. We need to discuss something important in relationship to all of those nasty things.


It’s Not Your Fault, is a powerful and well written blog post, from Liz.  It's short, so take a minute to read it.

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Decade: then and now

I had the opportunity to take a regular snap of me. If, and I doubt this would see the light of day, I could stitch them together in time-lapse, you could see me change and age. Please, don't have nightmares ;-)




Then and now is about.....well then and now.  Lynn talks about what she looked like...you guessed it...then and now.  You can decide for yourself which picture is which.  It's more than pictures, however.  Then and now also discusses family and feelings, then and now.

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