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Wednesday, November 13, 2019

I Am a Rock

Her rejection of me was absolutely devastating. Much later I would come to realize, that both women were rejecting me, because I could never even hope to be the man they they wanted me to be. I wanted to be their lesbian lover, but how does someone in male form, make love to a woman as a lesbian? How can you even tell them that? Its impossible.

I've been thinking of Melissa as of late.     She was such a beloved blogger with so many friends in the blog world.  Our dearest Melissa passed away in September, 2011.  Her posts were fun and sometimes emotional.  I AM a Rock is one of her very emotional posts.  Melissa may be gone, but with posts like this one, she will continue to help many who are trying to find themselves.

Oh and do go to Melissa's final post and read the many tribute comments at the end.

Monday, November 11, 2019

That’s what friends are for

In my previous, male, life, it was expected I would bear my burden in silence – I’d just “soldier on”. Asking for help was seen as a sign of weakness. Today, being perceived as a woman, I’m not bound by that convention. I can ask for help and support. And I have done just that.

Cat opens the door to her past life in the early 60's.  It was a life of physical and verbal abuse.  Now, she feels comfortable talking and writing about it.

Must see pro-transgender video

You really have to watch it, as it portrays trans and other LGBTQA people as real people, loved and respected by family and friends. I love it!

It's a one and a half minute commercial, from Sprite and Coca Cola, but much worth watching   Thanks to Jack Molay for posting.

Sunday, November 10, 2019

It's All in a Name

Connie brought up an interesting point about responding, or not, to one's old "dead name."

Now here's a topic I have not seen much in blogs.  When you transition, you almost always have a name change, unless you had a name that goes both ways (like Chris).  So how do you respond when you hear your "dead" name called?  Cyrsti has some interesting comments on that subject and name selection.

Saturday, November 2, 2019

Tucking for comfort and a feminine silhouette

Don’t judge. But she’s not trying, she does not care, she can’t be a Real Transsexual! Surely she would want to look as cis as possible? 

There's a lot of common sense in this post, from Clare.

Friday, November 1, 2019

We Are Not Immune

There is no reason why trans people can’t be transphobic… we can be both internalized and external transphobic. Some of the comments that I receive on my blog shows that, though I see it more as “Lateral Hostility.” 

Sad, isn't it?  Read more here from long-time blogger, Diana.  You might want to note the last line of her post.

Thursday, October 31, 2019

Motive and Opportunity - Halloween '19

By the time I got up enough nerve to leave my car, the "costume walk" was long past. Sitting at the bar I felt the need to justify why I was dressed as I was; like an explanation was a needed?  The bartender's comment, after my long dissertation, "I am sure that this will not be the last".  No truer statement was ever said.

It's Halloween, 2019, and Rhonda tells us about her first time out on that very special holiday.

Top Surgery

This surgery is a lot less scary than FFS was. For one, I've now been through a pretty involved surgery. So nothing is going to be a surprise this time around. Top surgery is actually a much, much simpler procedure in terms of surgical complexity and in terms of recovery.

Brooklyn's Faith DeBrooke is about to endure another surgery....Top Surgery

Wednesday, October 30, 2019

Alive and sittin' (and rambling)

Like any other skill, you just gotta start small and keep practicing.  Something clicked with me and makeup a year or so ago - keep it simple and have extremely low expectations.  That has served me well.  And as such, the handful of times that I've done makeup this year, I've actually enjoyed it.

A few comments, from Tanya, about makeup.  

My New Blog

Many of you know me from my previous blog.  However, due to situations beyond my control, I am shifting my posts to this blog, as I can not remove all references to certain people from my old blog.

Just a quick note that Marian has changed the name of her blog.  The reason is in this post.

Tuesday, October 29, 2019


I’d wanted some for ages. Seen them around in the shops but they were never quite perfect. The lines were either too big, or not quite the right colour or the shape was just not right for me. Then I’d see a women with the exact pair that would be perfect but there was no way I would stop a complete stranger in the street and say, “Excuse me, where did you get your trousers from?”

Only Hannah could write such a captivating post about a pair of trousers.

Monday, October 28, 2019

The People Who Used To Live Here

Branching from a modest, quiet cul-de-sac, at the end of a modest-length driveway, sits a modest home. The People Who Used To Live Here reside within these walls. To a large extent, The People Who Used To Live Here exist on divergent paths, and while the ties that bind still exist, many of those ties are of a legal or nominal nature only. The bonds of family fade with each passing day.

You will feel the emotion in this post, from Shannyn.  Wonderfully written, yet very sad.

T with C

The last year and a half has been difficult at Sox cottage. The news that my illness is incurable cancer has obviously been the most difficult thing my soul mate and I have had to deal with. I have been on chemo therapy for most of this time. Extending my life so I have time to spend with my most dearest is priceless.

These are words we certainly do not like to hear from one or our bloggers, or anyone else.  Bobby is strong, however, as she shows in this post.  If you've never left a comment, you should consider writing one to Bobby.

Sunday, October 27, 2019

3 Saucy Wenches at the Renaissance Fair

We went to the fair and I've spent my second day dressed in public within two weeks.  Life is good.

Life is, indeed, good for Heather.  Read all about 3 Saucy Wenches at the Renaissance Fair.

Saturday, October 26, 2019

Standing Up, Speaking Up, Moving Up

During all the years when I was desperately hoping and wondering and panicking about if I really could or should actually do this thing and embark on a transition, well it occupied my every thought and writing a blog about it was a good way of getting it all out of me rather than keeping things bottled up inside. 

Kristy, an Irish girl, is now post-transition!  In this post, she reviews the past year, and a good year it was!

Friday, October 25, 2019

Real RLE

Real-life experience (RLE) is a process where transsexual and transgender people live full-time in their preferred gender identity for a period of time, in order to demonstrate that they can function as a member of said gender. —Wikipedia

My friend, Stana, shares her thoughts about the Real-Life Experience.

Thursday, October 24, 2019

The essay 'I am a transsexual'

As I read through the paper from Harry Benjamin I find different essays buried inside. I will pull them out and put them here. One of the interesting ideas I find is that so very little has changed, and that this information is out there is recorded and yet we still struggle against society and the medical community. Our plight is improving and maybe in another 100 yrs our will not suffer the way we have. I can only hope. Any way here is an essay title 'I am a transsexual' author unknown.

A nice find, from Bree, who was once a very prolific blogger.

Wednesday, October 23, 2019


David transitioned in Toronto in the 1980s. He said his initial motivation was transvestite. How would he know? Transvestites, or cross dressers, might dress occasionally or compulsively for a sexual thrill, but the thrill wears off and they want to dress normally again. Yet he saw a gender clinic and was prescribed oestrogen. He must have had some diagnoscible signs of transsexualism. 

This one is a very interesting post, from Clare.  It's a story of a transition, de-transition and then a re-transition.

Tuesday, October 22, 2019

My crossdressing story

Then when I was 14, I came up with a brilliant idea! I could be my own sister! I started wearing girl’s clothes every night for a different reason. In my mind, it was to remember my sister and what she would have become. And I started to experience new types of girl’s clothing other that the swimsuits I’d been wearing.

Our journey's are all different in some way but this one, from Amber, is unique.

Monday, October 21, 2019

Review - Tights

A few weeks ago the Ever Lovely Mrs J mentioned a firm to me called Snag Tights. They are very much not a 'one size fits all' company. Instead, they offer a variety of sizes for the long, the short, and the tall - as someone once sang. Intrigued, I thought I'd have a look at their site, and maybe invest.

Tights....a necessity (opaque at least) for those of us (like me!) who don't shave our legs!  Lynn has a review.  

Sunday, October 20, 2019

The Worst Kept Secret

On the first visit to my therapist, I was given a questionnaire to complete. One of the questions was, “What is your sexual preference?’ Without hesitation, I wrote, “I want to be a girl.”

Time for an oldie but a goodie.  Nice post, from Billie, in 2010.

Friday, October 18, 2019

High Heels - Mood Elevation

I have always been aware that getting dressed and “getting out” provided a lift (pun intended). However, I never noticed that just a quick walk in my heels also provided an endorphin hit. 

Endorphins and heels.  They go together like cake and frosting.  Read all about it, from Rhonda.

Thursday, October 17, 2019

Being a Transgender Teacher

This year I was so proud and impressed with this student.  They approached me at the start of the year, and told me they are transgender, and that they are male, and that they would prefer to be called Leo!  I was so excited for them!  Wow!  How cool to understand such an awesome thing at such a young age.  

It's so nice to see Nadine so accepted as a trans teacher.  In this post, she writes about one of her students who came out to her.

It’s Easier Than You Think

If you are able and if you want to go out and if you are frightened about it, really, it’s easier than you think. I am not sure why you wouldn’t if you are able. For almost 50 years, I didn’t have the circumstances and I get that. But if you’re sitting at home wishing you could go out, do it. Use your head. It’s really not that complicated.

It's easier than you think, says Kandi.  This post tells you about a fun day out and about.

The Father Judged to be Mother

 A High Court Judge Has Ruled That "Mother" No Longer Means "Woman"

Caroline forwarded this link to me, from BuzzFeed.  Her comment: This shows just how stupid the law is and how vicious the UK media can be.

Wednesday, October 16, 2019

Ask Hannah!

The other day I spotted a very stylish looking trans girl in my suburb (well, I’d be damn surprised if I’d mis”read” her). Tall, lovely mini dress, flatter heels than I’d have chosen (but, hey, nobody’s perfect!) and spot-on makeup.

I was so tempted to say hi, compliment them on their look, but decided not to, in part remembering what you’d written.

But I’m thinking about what I do if/when I see someone en femme, while I’m in guy mode? Do I say something, or (at most) smile in as friendly a way as possible (trying not to be at all creepy)?

Hannah addresses this often asked question in the latest edition of "Ask Hannah".

Sunday, October 13, 2019

I Don’t Crossdress

There was I time when I would have said yes to the question – do you crossdress?

Ummm.......want to explain that, Stephie?  She does, and you can go here to read it.

Friday, October 11, 2019

This is not the group you are looking for. You may go about your business.

The other week an email arrived in the Chameleons inbox. It wasn't from a trans person, someone related to some who's trans, nor a training enquiry.

So who was this email from?  Go to Lynn's post to read about a subject I rarely see mentioned in the trans-blogs.

Two Wheels Out of State

Since it is somewhat off-topic for Transgender in State -- as of today renamed Transgender Out of State.

Long time blogger, Robyn, has a new name for her blog.  Transgender in State is now Transgender OUT of State.  Why?  Read Two Wheels Out of State, for the answer.

Friday, October 4, 2019

Beth Overthinks It

Welcome to the newly named, “Beth Overthinks It” blog.


Same girl.  Same Beth.  Same blog.  Different name (remember Right Brain, Wrong Body?)

In this post, Beth tells us about her visit to the Blue Ridge Pride Festival.

Monday, September 30, 2019

What does it matter?

I turned and looked, he was stooped over looking at me and shouting for an answer from me. “Oy, you. You a man or woman?”

Hannah was walking the empty streets of London, when a drunk asked her the question.  How did she deal with it?  Read, What does it matter?, for another beautifully written post from Hannah.

Walk A Mile In Her Heels - Chrissy

SCA: So, like so many, you suppressed your feminine side. How were you able to deal with that situation until you felt ready to transition?

In a very nicely done Q & A, Shannyn interviews an on-line friend.

Sunday, September 29, 2019

Guest post – Caelan (my spouse!)

It’s funny that we didn’t talk much about our gender identities with each other, I cocooned myself a bit and started parsing out what felt good and what didn’t. “She” was icky, so I asked Kameron, some close friends & family members, and co-workers to start using “they/them/theirs” for me. Ah, a sigh of relief. Then more discomfort would surface, I couldn’t wear bras anymore, not even sports bras. I threw them all away and got advice from Kameron.

I love this guest post, from Kameron's spouse!

Thursday, September 26, 2019

This is what 5 years worth of testosterone bottles (300 injections) looks like

I am honestly tired of having to inject myself every week. I struggle emotionally with getting it started and would avoid it if my fiancee wasn’t helping me with my shot.

Despite what you see, above, this transguy is happy, and he does show us what 5 years worth of T bottles looks like.

Wednesday, September 25, 2019

The excitement is building.

I'm to a point that I just wish to be myself. Heather is me, I'm no longer him and I feel that I'm taking the effort to live as I need to for MY own best interests.  

Heather is excited!  She's out-and-about and headed to my former state of residence.  This is a short post, mainly to introduce Heather to those who have yet to find her blog.  I believe this is the first time Heather's blog has been featured on T-Central.  She wasn't always as "out-and-about" as she is now, as you can see from this 2016 post.

Saturday, September 21, 2019

What’s In My Tool Box?

One thing I have for sure learned is that you need the right tools to do a proper job when it comes to makeup. I was once more than happy to use those little sponge applicators that came packaged with eye shadows, I had no idea how much better a decent set of brushes would help with even simple eye looks.

Everything you need to know about makeup and the right tools *may* just be in this post from Cynthia. It's one of those that you might want to bookmark for future reference.

Friday, September 20, 2019

Training Day

By an odd turn of Fate, matters aligned so I could pop out midweek and run another outreach session. This was for a group out of my usual stomping grounds, so I took a chance to be a little more trans visible.

There's something about Lynn's posts that make "featureable" (that's probably not a word, but you know what I mean).  They're never too long and they are always so interesting.  And, who can resist that YATGB logo that jumps right up to you when you check out her page?

In this post, Lynn tells us about another one of her T-Workshops to educate the public. 

Saturday, September 14, 2019

On being non-binary and bigender and the fear of coming out to the family

A common factor I find in the stories about failed relationships can be characterised, often unfairly, as selfishness on the part of the crossdresser. I can see why it may look like this to others.  After years of repression, you are finally able to ask for what you want or need – but this can be very hard on the partner. She did, after all, sign up for a relationship with a man.

This is a guest post, from Jeremiah, as introduced by Jack Molay:

In this guest post Jemimah writes about being non-binary and bigender and the fear of coming out to their family. Jemimah is assigned male at birth, but they may switch between a male and a female gender identity.

Thursday, September 12, 2019

“Inventing” trans children and young people

Books like this cause bullying and make children seek medical treatment. If the authors think that medical treatment for trans-identifying children is a problem, they exacerbate it. Trans children know who they are. Social transition improves their lives. The campaign against trans children, and trans people generally, encourages social conservatives to noisily oppose transition and bully trans children. One author in the book encourages teachers to tell children that transition is not possible.

As someone who wishes I grew up in a time when puberty blockers were available and parents were more accepting of trans issues with children, this post struck a nerve with me.  There has been so much progress in the area of dealing with trans kids, yet those opposing treatment continue to speak out.  For more on this topic, go to Clare's post, “Inventing” trans children and young people.

Monday, September 9, 2019

Mojo recovered

There was also a bit of personal history because they wanted to hear about the issues I'd faced and therefore what other trans folk (at least like me) might also encounter. I spoke about coping mechanisms and what they - as counsellors - might encounter and, with careful listening and coaching, help a T person and/or their family with. We talked briefly about terms, longer on experiences, and they asked some great questions. How does it feel when you're able to be your other look? or Do you think your struggle in the early years was more internal or external issues?

It was so nice to see this post from Lynn.  She spoke to a leading counciling organization about.....well, I'll let Lynn tell the story.

Zero to 60... in the wrong body was very good at making friends with and talking with women, but I would never close the deal so to speak. This happened all the time, talking, flirting, nothing. I never would make a move, ask her out, hold her hand or kiss her. Looking back now, I believe it was due to my instinct as a female deep down inside. I just didn’t get the male-female mating ritual. I wasn’t programed like the other guys.

Stana has recently featured some terrific guest posts.  I especially loved this one, from Paula Gaikowski.   She tells us her story, starting from her very early years and brings us up to the present.  I never tire of reading posts like this one, which I so relate to.  If you haven't read it, grab a cup of tea or coffee and enjoy.

Sunday, September 8, 2019

Why I Hate Talking on the Phone (#misgenderedagain)

I’ve trained myself to gently ask them, as soon as it happens, to refer to me as “Dara” and not “ma’am.” The person apologized, as they always do, and a few seconds later they forgot that I had mentioned it, which is also what they usually do.

Dara is one of those rare gender therapists who can actually relate to some of the problems faced by those with gender related issues.  In this post, Dara discusses mis-gendering over the phone, a topic I'm sure many can relate to.  

Damn Hormones

Many people over the years have asked about the process.

Cyrsti comments on how hormone replacement therapy has affected her over time. She sums it all up in a very short post, well worth reading.

The People - Personal Thoughts

Cobweb Corner - Older Blogs, Not Recently Updated