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Wednesday, May 22, 2019

Week 4-7 Post-GCS

Sitting down still f***g hurts. Standing around for too long f***g hurts. Stubbing my toe when walking f***g hurts and sometimes just walking f***g hurts. Jogging or running is still out of the f***g question.

You know I like updates!  Here's another post GCS post, from Heather.  I think our girl has a sense of least I hope she does!  Hang in there, girl.  My friends have all told me it gets better.  

Monday, May 20, 2019

Starting electrolysis

I do not want to make a fool of myself, to be mocked or ridiculed or rejected, nor do I want to be pressured into moving forwards if it does not feel right for me, or pressure others into being okay with me when this is the first time they will see me in female clothing, I do not want to damage the relationships I have – it will literally be two nights and one full day of many of those little daydreams about coffee and lunches and window shopping and dancing and being seen as a woman in public that I have had literally had for basically my entire teenage and adult life coming true....

The paragraph, above, is from the end of Dee's current post.  I so get how she feels.  Starting electrolysis, however, is not about her first time out but rather about her laser and electrolysis treatments and the amazing Magic Cream, which she explains in her blog post.

Thursday, May 16, 2019

Transition & The Loss of Friends many friends have I lost due to transitioning?  Ummmm...... maybe two.  A married couple that my wife and I would hang with on occasion.  Yup.  I had my suspicions about whether or not the lack of contact from them was due to my transition.  Recently I met with the wife of the couple and it was pretty much confirmed that they have stopped wanting to hang out with us due to my transition.  Sad?  Yes.  Yes it is very sad to me that both my wife and I have lost them as friends due to me choosing to be true to who I have been born as.

Everything Nadine writes is reality, and comes from the heart.  In this one, she talks about Transition and the Loss of Friends.  It hasn't been a big issue for Nadine, but when you do transition, you find out who your real friends are, and it's clear the two mentioned above were not in that group.

Tuesday, May 14, 2019

Ask Hannah’s Wife

How do you feel about Hannah when she’s… um… Hannah?


What a fantastic blog post, from Hannah!  Hannah's wife agreed to answer your questions.  For the answer to the question, above, and others, go to Ask Hanah's Wife.

Sunday, May 12, 2019

A spell of calm

It was a moment of contentment. Those, I think, are to be enjoyed when they occur. There was no worry about the future; no concern at what had happened; no remorse, guilt, or upset: just, well, being okay with who I was.

I really, really liked this comment, from Lynn; written after a fun night with her local trans group.

Friday, May 10, 2019

I decided to stop taking testosterone, for now

Two days ago, I abruptly hit a wall in my transition journey.  But it’s more like that wall had a secret corridor that I’m now turning down, without really slowing down – just taking a moment to look back, and all around me, and then moving on in this other direction.

Why go off Testosterone?  Go here, for this update from JQ to find out.

Thursday, May 9, 2019

the rocky road

Those who pass are fortunate because they can most often fall under the radar. They may have transitioned young or perhaps have sufficiently feminine physical attributes to be left alone. But even they, once they come out or are outed, can face harsh discrimination at the hands of a society who doesn’t understand them and perhaps refuses to.

Unfortunately, discrimination against those who are transgender still exists, and I don't see it going away anytime soon.  Joanna has a few things to say about this.

Wednesday, May 8, 2019

Y does not necessarily equal M: On what intersex people can tell us about gender identity

“Most people assume that you’re biologically either a man or a woman, but it’s actually a lot more complex than that. There are so many ways somebody could be intersex. 
In my case, it means I was born with XY chromosomes, which you probably know as male chromosomes. And I was born with a vagina and balls inside my body. I don’t respond to testosterone, so during puberty, I grew breasts… I don’t actually have a uterus – I was born without one, so I don’t menstruate, I can’t have biological children…"

The quote, above from Emily Quinn, is included in this excellent post from Jack Molay.  Please grab a cub of coffee or tea, sit back, and take the time to read this post.

Sunday, May 5, 2019

Ask Hannah’s…Wife

We know what it is like to be us.  We know how complex, stressful, conflicting, and wonderful it is to be who we are.  Sharing this side of us is not easy and I do my best to write about what our partners may be feeling, thinking, or worried about when it comes to being in a relationship with someone like us.

I always appreciate any posts dealing with the relationship between someone who is trans and their spouse.  This one is from Hannah, and she invites your questions.

Saturday, May 4, 2019

Wearing A Denim Skirt After 40

I love the denim skirt and it is a wardrobe stable.  Nothing can hug your body better because of it's weight and can be cut in so many different ways. The problem, if not done correctly, you come across a pretending to be a middle-age-teen.  

I always appreciate Rhonda's fashion advice.  This time, it's about denim skirts....for those of us over 40.

Thursday, May 2, 2019

A Change in Perspective

“All right then Matthew,” she continues, still quite loudly going out of her way to say my first name, “If you will please provide all of the highlighted information on this form, I’ll get you all checked in!”  By now of course, all four of the other guests and another hotel employee are all staring at me. I honestly don’t think that she was trying to be a witch, I think that she was just being thoughtless.

Kimberly thinks she has had problems passing as of late.  I think she looks fab!  Regardless, the hotel clerk, seeing Kimberly's given name on the registration, seems to need some sensitivity training.

Wednesday, May 1, 2019

Conversion by Debbie Lawrence (transgender fiction)

Conversion therapy as a "so-called" cure for the non-diseases of homosexuality and gender variance has long been invalidated by such august institutions as The American Psychological Association, among others.

Here's a short book review from Sally. It's fiction and sounds like an interesting read.

Tuesday, April 30, 2019


Did y'all miss me?

Here's an update from Lindsay, in Kenya.  She's been blogging for over 10 years, but we haven't heard from her in a few years. When bloggers just go away, it always concerns me because I often fear the worst.  Thanks so much, Lindsay, for the update.

Monday, April 29, 2019

First Step Worries

I have been in hiding so long that I think Nicole is finally trying to break out and be free. It seems the only issues that are keeping her locked away revolve around money and stability. I need money to move out but also need to pay my obligations to my “old” life.

Some not-so-uncomon thoughts, from Nicole.

Sunday, April 28, 2019

Still Here...

Hello all. It's been a long time. There's been a lot going on, so let me get right to it.

Time for a shout-out to one of my fav redheads (who I haven't seen face-to-face since before she transitioned)!  LOVE that hair girl!  We haven't heard from Cass for a while.  She did this post simply to bring us all up to date.

Friday, April 26, 2019

Town Girl Lives in Countryside

The problem with the gender clinics, and this isn’t a criticism as such, that they have a proverbial check-list, Have you told your family and friends? Have you told work? Have you changed your name? Here are some hormones, you’ll see the surgeon in N months. Thank you and goodbye.

I just cannot resist featuring Hannah's posts.  Her posts are just fun to read and so well written.  As is always the case, gender seems to find it's way into her blog posts, and this one is not an exception.

Tuesday, April 23, 2019

Facial Femization Surgery: The Insurance Blues

There's something I always say, on Gender Rebels or to the listeners who write up. Transition is the time when you discover how strong you really are and how strong you always have been. And it is. I really think that is true.

Faith got her FFS surgery coverage turned down by her insurance company.  It was, and rightfully so, very emotional for her but she's stronger now than ever before and she's not going to give up.

Sunday, April 21, 2019


Our hostess at T-Central posts so rarely that I fear some may not have noticed it flash by on our list below!

Calie is one of the founders of the DRAB (dressed as a boy) - GAB luncheon meetings at the River City Gems. As one who would have benefitted so much back in my deep stealth days, it seems to me that such luncheons should be a part of any trans group's monthly rota.
In her post DRAB = DRESSED AS A BOY, Calie also makes some very good points on the topic of late transitioners. As she writes "I've got to say that some of the aging early transitioners seem have the crazy belief that if you haven't transitioned by age 30 you're either dead or you're not a transsexual".

She posts so rarely and writes so very well. Head over to Calie's Chronicles and read DRAB = DRESSED AS A BOY.

Friday, April 19, 2019

Young researcher is looking for trans people engaged in gender-affirming hormone therapy

Christy is a counseling psychology doc student at the university of Memphis.  She  is conducting dissertation research on experiences with hormone therapy and how comfortable trans individuals feel telling doctors about their side effects. 

Here's a shout-out to Jack and Sally, at Trans Express, for helping this student get the word out.  A link to Christy's survey is included in the post.

Thursday, April 18, 2019

Finding Jeans That Fit

I have my old faithful jeans that I tend to wear until thread bear.  I know the style is toward the distressed look but the old me, when it starts falling apart, time to replace. 

Is there anyone out there, male or female, who can't relate to the title of this post, from Rhonda?

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Not Up For Debate

.......a Japanese courts decision to uphold the requirement for surgical sterilisation before allowing their gender identity to be legally recognized.

This has got to be a joke, right?  Apparently not.  Our Girl has been posting since 2007.  Her posts are always short and to the point, this one included.

Monday, April 15, 2019

Genital Confirmation Surgery (GCS), March 2019

She asks me a question: what are your expectations?

She's been blogging for 8 years and she's finally there.  Heather met with her surgeon and was asked the question, above, just before she entered the operating room.  For her answers and much more leading up to the surgery, read, Genital Confirmation Surgery (GCS), March 2019.

Saturday, April 13, 2019

Accepted But Excepted

One thing I have noted though, that while I have been mostly accepted, I have been excepted from a few things.

A good title always helps to get a blog post read and this one caught my eye right away.  The title says it all.  For anyone trans, MtF or FtM, the title, Accepted But Excepted, will resonate.

Wednesday, April 10, 2019

Caught Between A Rock And A Hard Place

For us all we want is to live our lives in peace. We don’t want special rights or treatment we just a job, a roof over our heads, and food on our plates.
But for many trans people those are out of our reach.

Some sobering thoughts, from Diana.  Some things never change.  Why?

Tuesday, April 9, 2019

12 Week-Recovery, 12-Month Relapse… & Uncelebrated Anniversaries

About 13 months ago I wrote a euphoric post about my gender reassignment surgery. I do remain extremely pleased about the physical result, it looks like it should, and not half bad at that… but the ongoing overall recovery has been a total disaster!

Andrea has had serious complications from her gender reassignment surgery.  I feel so bad for her, but she doesn't want your pity.  The purpose of this post is not only to update her readers but to educate anyone contemplating GRS on the possible complications.

Monday, April 8, 2019

Conformity as Identity or Survival?

I’ve known trans women who have been out for years that still hesitate to wear “women’s clothing” out in public because of the potential for bad responses. Hell, before I ever knowingly met another trans woman in my life, I knew butch cis women with the exact same worries about getting side-eyed or harassed if they put on a skirt or too much makeup, and those fears weren’t unfounded. They’d get misgendered even by people who knew they were cis. People are cruel, y’all know that.

An excellent post, from Zinnia Jones.

Sunday, April 7, 2019

When a Forehead Reduction Procedure Makes Sense

Another common reason why people seek forehead reduction procedures has to do with their perceived level of femininity. Depending on the degree of recession and the size of the forehead, a high hairline is often considered a very masculine trait – something that makes women feel less-than-stellar.

I remember the wife of a trans friend telling me years ago that wearing my hair with bangs will give a more feminine appearance by not showing my high hairline.  How right she was.  A close friend, who transitioned, had the forehead reduction process done, and it did make quite a difference.  Rhonda explains why you may want a forehead reduction procedure in this post.

Saturday, April 6, 2019

The Balancing Act

As I walked by, I was struck by how much people just didn't seem to care. I could go about my business and no one pointed, yelled, or caused trouble. I don't say that as a passing thing, I say that as a society thing. Sure, there are a few nutters - and there probably always will be - but modern folk seem used to us now and I'm cool with that. Indeed, that feeling of coolness was quite pervasive and made me feel like this was just another day. Perhaps that the seductive part of this: it starts to feel very normal.

It was a grand day out, for Lynn.  3 miles in heels and a lovely day of shopping.  Who could ask for more, but it's always a Balancing Act for a part time girl.

Thursday, April 4, 2019

Expressing emotions, as a trans woman

If you transition male to female, and take hormones, the sensation of your emotions becomes more immediate, more demanding. They impinge on you.

MtF hormones do affect your emotions, and Clare has some comments on the subject.

Tuesday, April 2, 2019

Five Years Living Truth

I can't believe I've survived this long.  I really can't.  I thought for sure that either I would've been murdered or done it myself by now.  Like most things as I age, it seems like the blink of an eye, yet was agonizingly long.  I am a FAR different person than I was when I first announced my Truth to the world.

Sophie, a wonderful blogger who I have followed for years, has written a five year anniversary post.  It's a good summary of the 5 years since she went full time.  Do read this one and please take the time to congratulate her and let her know you appreciate her blog. 

Monday, April 1, 2019

WSJ TERF BS: One Frustrated Response

I’m not going to glorify the article by linking to it, but there was a miserable piece of TERF bs in the Wall Street Journal yesterday. I attempted to start a point by point rebuttal but I got too frustrated, so here’s what I wound up with instead.

Don't you just love Helen Boyd?  I've read her books and, while I don't agree with everything she says, this lady has moxie.  Needless to say, she has a few comments about the article mentioned above.  Her comments are short and to the point and worth reading.  The article, however, requires a subscription to read it and, frankly, I'm glad I can't. 

Sunday, March 31, 2019

Peeking around the Closet Door

It's not an easy thing to be transgender or gender-fluid these days, there is an active and virulent anti-transgender movement in full swing. Much of it is tied to the ultra-religious right wing of the United States, but it's not just them. Even those in more moderate places on the political spectrum, as well as those on the far left, are generally okay with allowing, and even abetting, trans oppression.

A Transgender Day of Visibility Post.

Wednesday, March 27, 2019

Destroy Your Enemies, Not Your Allies

Why do we come out to certain people in our lives?  Obviously we need to come out to our partners.  Most of us WANT to come out to our partners.  Most of us know it’s not fair to withhold secrets from our our partners but struggle with how to tell them.  But I also think that many of us want to tell our partners because we want to share this side of us with them.  This is a deeply personal side of us and we want to be open and honest with them.

Just last week, after many years of encouraging my trans friends to be straight with their partners, I told a friend at lunch that she should continue to keep it a secret.  The reason is not the topic of this post.....perhaps on my own blog.  Hannah, however, strongly believes that we should be straight with our partners and she has some good reasons to do so.  Your partner should be your ally and, as Hannah says, Destroy Your Enemies, Not Your Allies.

Tuesday, March 26, 2019

What The Heck Is A Conservative Christian TG Gal?

Many christians have false or outdated notions about transgenderism, but I am confident things will improve with time, patience, and love.  In my time left on this earth my church may not allow me to dress as a woman for services, but if they ever know about me they may one day respond with Biblical love instead of shunning me (which I don't believe is a Biblical response).

This is an interesting post, from Kelli who, as far as I can tell, has never been featured on T-Central even though she's been blogging for 9 years now.  I'm glad to see a post from this point of view and I hope Kelli has the strength to make a difference in her Baptist congregation. 

Sunday, March 24, 2019

Permission to Shiver – A Five Year Anniversary Special

Five years. Five years since I started writing about my thinking and looking back at my first I wouldn’t have said back then, that right now I’d be sitting amongst other runners while wearing the long running tights that I’d always wished I could wear and a high ponytail without feeling anxious and fraught with butterflies and too afraid to move. It makes me wonder where I’ll be in the next five years. I sat there, which today happened to be with the other women, and listened to the conversation.

I'm a tad bit late in featuring this post (sorry Hannah, just been so busy as of late), but don't think it's not worth reading.  It is!  It's Hannah's thoughts, after 5 years of writing, and it's beautifully written.

Saturday, March 23, 2019

4 things your LGBT child needs you to know. And do.

If your child comes out to you as LGB or tells you they are not the gender they were assigned at birth, chances are you may worry. You may doubt your ability to be a good parent to an LGBT child.

Some good advice, from Julie Tarney, the author of My Son Wears Heels.

Friday, March 22, 2019

Coming out

I can take a step back now and examine my life today. I consider myself quite lucky in that I have had very few complications compared to some people. My family has accepted me and most of my work colleagues are fine with me. I have more lovely friends now than I have ever had in my life.

Deedee is full-time now and a new blogger.  I'm guessing she's a UK girl.  As I write this, she's got three posts up.  Coming out is her first, which is an overview of just how things are going in her life.  In short, not bad, but do visit her blog and take a look.  She writes well and her posts are short!

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Getting one's life back

So 5 months down the line, what of it? All there, seems to not be broken.

It's good to hear from GRS.  And, just what is our girl doing in this picture, all glammed up?  Well, she's getting her life back.

Monday, March 18, 2019


Some of you might crossdress for a variety of reasons and can perhaps put away the clothing and the feminine expression for a month and think nothing of it; I cannot. Bordering on transsexualism has been difficult and I have been this way since I can remember. 

Gender Dysphoria is the topic of this post, from Joanna.  It also includes a nice comment from Halle.

Saturday, March 16, 2019

Making hay while the sun shines

So it was that the red skirt from Christmas, last week's vest top, and a very old mint green wrap cardigan that somehow came together to form my outfit last night. I felt... I felt like I was as I was supposed to be when I'm in Lynn mode. I felt really happy with how I looked.

Lynn tried a bit of a new look, which involves hairless legs, and she looks great.  New, I suppose, because if you look back through her blog, you will often see her in black or opaque tights.  Go to, Making hay while the sun shines, and take a look.  Don't forget to leave Lynn a comment!

Thursday, March 14, 2019

Feminine Differential - Unmentionables in ER

Unmentionables are items too shocking or embarrassing to be mentioned by name. Let's go there and use the word.  "Panties!"

Are you a male who wears women's undies?  Seriously?  I could you?   :)

Rhonda wants your comments and then will add a few of her own.

Tuesday, March 12, 2019


I brought up the age old argument between sexuality and everyday life as a trans woman at last night's transgender -cross dresser support group meeting. I only said in passing (no pun intended), one of the bigger things I learned quickly when I came out was how my sexuality didn't really change.

Sexuality is often misunderstood when it comes to someone who has changed genders.  Crysti has a few thoughts that she shared at a recent trans support group meeting.

Saturday, March 9, 2019

Under the Dysphoric Moon

This has all come up for me because a friend of mine is getting her GRS surgery soon. I am extremely happy for her, and yes, I am a bit jealous but only in a vague way.

Elizabeth has a few comments about being born with the wrong genitals.  I can relate to this one and share her feelings.

Wednesday, March 6, 2019

Trans women in sport

Does anyone transition in order to have an unfair advantage in sport? No. Trans women transition because we are women, because the difference between presenting male and expressing female is the difference between living life in monochrome and in colour. This does not stop the anti-trans movement from complaining about us. The complaints show transphobia at work.

Here's another good one, from Clare.  I've seen little written on this subject in the world of trans blogging..

The People - Personal Thoughts

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