In October, Brittany did a fabulous post on her blog, A Day in the Life of a Texas Transsexual. It is long but very well written and, in my opinion, well worth the time to read it. Rather than link to it, with Brittany's permission, I am publishing it as a guest post on T-Central.
Calie
Hello again everyone!
Transsexual people have to deal with many different things when they transition. Every aspect of your life is affected when you transition from one gender to another. Just living as a Transsexual in society is hard enough today with all the prejudice and ignorance that exists, but there are many other obstacles to overcome as well. The most important is no doubt keeping your job. I have known many people who lost their jobs when they announced to their employers that they planned to transition. Even if you are lucky enough to keep your job when you transition there are still many negative aspects that you have to deal with. The most difficult thing you have to deal with when you transition is dealing with all of the people in your life.
When a person fully transitions, every single person in their life is affected by it. Knowing that your transition will affect every single person in your life, and that you will most likely lose many friends and family members along the way, only makes it all the more difficult for the person transitioning. Add to that the possibility of losing your job, everything you own, your retirement, knowing that so much ignorance and prejudice exists towards Transgender people and it makes the thought of transitioning absolutely terrifying. It takes a huge amount of courage to overcome all of that fear -- but in the end you simply have no choice. You reach the point where your "bell goes off" and you either transition or you die. You reach the point in your life where you realize that you have to live your life and if you can't do that you would rather be dead. You transition knowing full well that most of the people in your life will never be able to understand why you had to transition and also that many of them - including family members - may never accept you.
When I knew I had to fully transition in early 2009, I fully expected to lose almost everything I had -- after all, I had witnessed this happen many times to many other people when they transitioned. I thought for sure that I would lose my job and that would in turn lead to the loss of my house, possibly my car and most other possessions. I also fully expected to lose most of the people in my life, including most friends and even family members.
When I transitioned I was very lucky. I was one of the very few who transition who was able to keep her job. I also kept most of my friends. I was positive that I would lose my parents but they kept me in their lives and did not turn their backs on me. My sister has known about me since approximately 1993 so I did not expect to lose her. I was also single and had no children, so I didn't have to go through the loss of my family like I have witnessed so many of my friends go through. Compared to most people who transition, I was very lucky indeed.
All of Your Relationships WILL Change!Even though I never lost many of my good friends or my parents our relationships were forever changed. I fully expected this, after all how could they not? All of these people now viewed me as someone entirely different from the person they thought they knew before -- and they were right to feel that way because they had really only known a small part of me for all those years. I wasn't even the GENDER they thought I was - at least not mentally! Although I knew these relationships would be forever changed, I never fully realized just to what extent they would be changed before I transitioned.
When I first transitioned I was really grateful that I was so accepted by most of the people in my life -- and that is still the case to this day. Every single one of those relationships did change though. Now I will try to attempt to explain how this 'change in relationship' has effected not only all of the people in my life but also how it has been from my own perspective.
EVERYTHING Has Changed
Transsexual people need to understand that although many people in your life may have "supported" your transition, the reality is that EVERYTHING has changed in they way they now view you. Do NOT expect your relationships with anyone who knew you before you transitioned to remain the same! The way EVERYONE who knew you before you transitioned feels about you IS now completely different. To all of the people in your life, the entire relationship dynamic has completely changed -- because now those people realize that you are a lot different from the person they always thought you were.
When you first transition and you receive support from people you are very happy to have it, but after time goes on you suddenly realize that things really HAVE changed after all. These people meant it when they said they supported you when you first told them about your transition -- after all, you probably told them BEFORE you actually transitioned. You may have told them in person, by telephone, or possibly by email, but since it was before you transitioned you were still presenting as "male" -- you seem like the same person they have always known. These people had no trouble facing you or talking to you at the time since you looked and sounded the same way you always did. However, once you transition this is NOT the case at all, because you now look and sound completely different – you look and sound like a woman! Just knowing about these changes creates problems for you and everyone else in your life as well.
It was easy for a lot of people to fully accept you when you told them you were going to transition, but after some time goes by and you do transition these people have had more time to think about what was actually taking place. They come to realize that you are not the person they thought you were at all. In many ways, you now suddenly seems like a total stranger to them in many ways and as a result they don't quite know how to maintain the friendship. These people don't just suddenly "stop supporting" their friend who transitioned, but the relationship HAS changed they really don't know quite how to deal with all of it. In the end these people just slowly fade out of the life of the person who transitioned never to be heard from again. Even though these people may have "accepted" you when you first told them you planned to transition, after a while you suddenly realize that in reality many of the people who first accepted you really ARE gone from your life after all.
Drifting Apart...Many people who transition who were at first "accepted" by their friends end up losing those same friends in the end just because they had drifted apart. This is a very common occurrence with people who rarely see you or have never seen you at all since your transition took place. Drifting apart is not really anyone's "fault" at all -- it is just something that happens for many different reasons.
In a recent post I told about meeting some friends from Missouri I used to work with while I was attending a conference in San Diego, CA. For me, these were the same people I had known for years - nothing had changed my view of them at all -- they were exactly the same.
However, the exact opposite was true for them. I looked, sounded and acted completely different than the person they had known for so many years -- I was not even the same gender I used to be! They had no real "problems" with me, but they felt awkward when they were around me because the relationship had changed so much from the one they were familiar and comfortable with. Years before they would have said anything to me and been unrelenting with their jokes, but they didn't feel comfortable to act that way with me now since they viewed me as a woman - or at least someone in the process of changing into a woman. I appreciated the fact that they did this, because I did not want or expect to be treated the same way that I had been when I had to be "male" around them.
Until that meeting in San Diego, I had never given much thought at all about how or why my friends might have difficulty relating to me now that I had transitioned -- I had only been concerned about their acceptance of me. Most people in my life were shocked but had no problems accepting the fact that I am Transsexual -- knowing how to deal with that change in the relationship was/is the hardest thing to actually deal with -- and not only for them, but for me also.
The reactions of my friends at the conference in San Diego were perfectly understandable. At the time it was a little amusing to me to see their discomfort, but at the same time knowing that they were uncomfortable was also very frustrating. The more I thought about it the more I wanted their discomfort to evaporate. I knew that if I could spend some time (at least a few hours) with them that much of their discomfort would probably disappear but unfortunately we just didn't have the time to do that at the conference.
And THAT is the problem! It is simply impossible for you to sit down with all of your friends for long enough periods of time to where they all feel "comfortable" with you! In my case, most of my old friends are scattered all across the country or even live in Europe. They have trepidations about contacting me - and I have trepidations about contacting them also, because I KNOW they will feel weird hearing me on the phone, or seeing me for the very first time and I don't want to "thrust" them into that kind of situation. It is a difficult situation all the way around and there is no easy answer.
My point is that you need to realize these things will happen when you transition. Do NOT think that things will be the same way they have always been with all the people in your life - because they won't be the same at all. The reality is that everything HAS changed!
Maintaining The Relationship
In an earlier post, I pointed out that it is important that the person transitioning maintains the contact in these relationships. Email is one way to do this. Using social networks like Facebook is another way that enables people to stay in touch, see how you look and know what is going on in your life. Social networks help you to maintain those relationships, because your friends and family members can see pictures of how you look and hear what is happening in your life. Social networks are a "safe" way for your friends to see you and learn about your life from a "safe distance." Social networks do NOT solve all of the problems mentioned before though -- all of those problems still exist.
For example, think about how it would be to call one of your old friends on the phone. You are now using a completely different voice (in most cases anyway) and you don't know how your friend will react or feel about that. Also, depending on your history with the person, it may be somewhat difficult to talk about "old times" now - for the very same reasons I mentioned above when I met my friends from Missouri in San Diego.
Like I mentioned earlier, actually seeing you for the first time is also very difficult for most people - and that might be very awkward for you as well. Before their friend transitioned they may have called "him" several times a year or invited 'him' over for dinner, to go to a movie, attend a party, set 'him' up with a date, etc. Now that "she" has transitioned, the person they thought they knew before seems much more like a stranger to them and they do not know how to approach her. They don't feel comfortable calling her on the phone any more -- after all, would she now sound like a woman on the phone? THAT would be weird! They have never seen their friend dress, look or act like a woman either, so they never invite her out to lunch or dinner, to the movies, or over to their house any more. Just imagining "him" as a "her" is very difficult, but to actually SEE it would really be difficult to deal with and would no doubt be quite a shock. It is no doubt be much easier NOT to have to deal with that situation at all -- after all, most people will always take the easiest way out of a difficult situation if they are ever given a choice. As a result, no contact is ever made with the person who transitioned.
I know several people who supported me since I transitioned who live fairly close to me but have yet to see me in the flesh. I have talked with some of these people over the phone or by email and they always seem to want to get together, but it never actually happens. Some have told me things like, "We'll have to go to lunch sometime" but I know when I hear that it will most likely never happen. Unless someone says something like, "Want to go to lunch this Tuesday at 11:30?" you can bet that the "loose" lunch date will never actually materialize...
It is really hard to know just what to do in these cases. For example, I know that these people feel strange about me to begin with so the last thing I want to do is to just suddenly show up on their doorstep just to say hello - how awkward would that be..?!!! I have even had people tell me to call them before I came over - probably so they could be prepared mentally to see me for the very first time. The fact that they told me to "call first" before coming over is understandable, but it still is a bit insulting. Realistically, just suddenly showing up on their doorsteps may be the only option in the end that will enable all of us to get past this initial phase of awkwardness.
Also, life goes on. All their lives as well as mine. Maintaining contact with people I haven't spoken to since I transitioned is far down on my list of things to do because I have a lot going on in my own life at the moment -- and I'm sure they do too. As life goes on more people from your 'old life' just seem to fade away...
Some Relationships Cannot Be Saved
Since I transitioned full time I have never had anyone just tell me to my face that they wanted nothing to do with me. Even though this has been the case, I also know that many people where I work have problems with my transition. There are about 1200 people working for the agency where I work in Dallas. Out of that 1200 people, only about 150 of them attended the Donna Rose training right before I transitioned. This leaves MANY of those people with no understanding of Transsexualism at all and many of them DO have "problems" with me. Most of the people I work with directly do not seem to have "real problems" with me, but there are a few who I know do. These people have no problems working with me on a professional level but anything beyond that, like friendship, is simply not going to happen.
For example, one woman who was a fairly good friend of mine before I transitioned used to care enough about me to stop by my office and see how I was doing if she hadn't seen me for a while. She has not stopped by my office one single time since I transitioned. The other day I even loaned her a new CD for her to listen to that I thought she would like. Later that day I went by her office and found the CD on her chair - she'd left it there for me to pick up if I came by. She had gone to a doctor's appointment and had left early for the day. Instead of stopping by my office (which she walked right by on her way out) to drop off the CD, she left it on her chair for me to find. This way she could avoid me. I have never mentioned this to her and never found out if she even liked the CD. Frankly, I don't care. She has made it clear to me where I stand as far as she is concerned.
I have also never seen this particular woman in the women's rest room a single time since I transitioned so I am sure she actually goes to a bathroom an a different floor rather than use one I might happen to be in. She is very friendly to me face-to-face but she obviously has real problems with me. She will work with professionally but it is obvious that she no longer considers me a friend. She is a real disappointment, but I will not waste time worrying about her -- life goes on and I will only worry about my true friends.
People Who Have Problems With GRS
Another relationship that has suffered and changed since I transitioned is my relationship with my parents. My parents did not shun me when I told them I planned to transition. My dad obviously had problems with the fact that I eventually planned to have surgery but he didn't disown me when he learned I planned to transition. My mother was really supportive at first but as time went on I could feel her support start to dwindle. It is now very clear to me that my mother also has problems with the fact that I will have surgery.
Several people knew I was Transsexual for years before I ever transitioned. My relationship with every single one of those people changed after I fully transitioned - and that was something I NEVER expected at all! Some of these people also clearly have problems with the fact that I will have GRS. These same people seemed to have very few problems with the fact that I am Transsexual, but their support seemed to quickly fade once they knew for sure that I actually planned to have surgery. Even though they have no idea when that surgery will be, they still know it's coming and have had less and less contact with me ever since as a result. There are many people who have real problems with the fact that I plan to have surgery!.
My point in all of this is that even though I didn't officially lose many family or friends when I transitioned, the reality is that I really did. The relationship with every single person in my life has completely changed -- even if they already were already aware I was Transsexual. Because of this, in many ways I can't help but feel that I have really lost many of the people in my life since I transitioned.
I knew before I transitioned that my relationships with all the people in my life would be different, but I never realized just to what extent this would be true. It has been MUCH worse than I ever imagined it would be - and NOT in a good way. Be prepared for this when you transition. You will be very surprised and shocked by just how much that change will be after you transition.
Sometimes They Come Back
I have witnessed many of my friends lose their wives and kids once they transitioned. I know many people who transitioned after 20-plus years of marriage and went through (or are currently going through) some of the nastiest divorces imaginable. I have also noticed that the younger (0 to early teens) the children are the more likely they are to accept the transition. Children who are older (mid-teens and older) usually have the worst problems with the fact their father plans to transition to a woman. Many of these older children are not only embarrassed and ashamed that their father is transitioning into a woman, but many obviously feel a huge resentment because of how their mother is affected by the transition and the breakup of the family unit.
I have known several people who lost friends and family members when they first transitioned, but as time passed a few of those people came back. This is more common with family members than friends, which makes sense since family members are closer to you and are normally with you all your life.
I have known several people, for example, who lost their children when they transitioned but over time some of those children - if not all of them - eventually came back. In some cases I have even seen how these children have completely accepted the transitioner in the end and actually think of and refer to them as another mother and their relationship was closer than ever before. This level of acceptance is very rare (from what I have seen) but I have seen it happen -- so never give up hope!
Going Stealth
I have known Transsexual people who have turned their backs on all of their friends and family once they transitioned. This is pretty easy to do if you have little or no support from most friends or family members after you transition.
Things also change over time after you transition. At first you only wanted support from all of the people in your life, but after a while this isn't enough. You may feel you have support from the people in your life, but soon you realize that most, if not all, will never fully accept you as a woman because they have already "gendered" you as "male." This poses a big problem because you want and need to be fully accepted as a woman -- and this need, of course, only gets worse after you have had surgery and you ARE physically and legally female.
I completely understand how Transsexual women only want to live their lives as women and feel that having ties to anyone who knew them before they transitioned will only hinder them. They ONLY want to be viewed as women - NOT as Transsexuals. This is true in my case as well. I do NOT want to be known by everyone as "Transsexual" - I am a woman and I want people to only think of me and treat me as any other woman.
I have known Transsexual women who just suddenly "disappeared" at some point. They wanted no ties to the "Transgender community" at all. They did NOT want to be known as "Transsexual" by everyone who knew them -- actually, by ANYONE who knew them. They decided to "go stealth." They left all ties behind and started whole new lives where everyone who knew them would ONLY know them as women. If all the friends in your life ONLY knew you as a woman they would have no trouble at all accepting you as a woman. They would ONLY view and treat you as any other woman – which is exactly what most Transsexual people want.
Even my (ex) best friend went "stealth" on me. I had been her best friend and supported her through her transition from the very start to the finish. She had even given me credit for stopping her from committing suicide at one point when things really got bad for her. I was there for her every step of the way during her entire transition all the way through surgery, but as soon as she learned I was transitioning full-time she turned her back on me and I haven't heard from her since. Such loyalty… She obviously wanted to break all ties to her former life and I was a part of that life she needed to leave behind. She wanted no ties to the "Transgender community" and she probably considered me to be a part of that community. She also probably did not want to have to go through another person's transition -- after all, her transition had been hard enough. I still resent her for doing this to me at the time when I needed her the most -- because I never would have done the same thing to her. Still, I can understand WHY she felt the need to do it.
Like I said, I can fully understand why Transsexual people want to "go stealth." Having everyone in your life ONLY view you as a woman would be wonderful and it would solve so many problems. On the other hand, being stealth also CREATES a lot of problems as well. The main problem it creates is MAINTAINING that 'stealthiness.'
Being stealth years ago was fairly easy to do because it was much easier to hide your trail. All documents were paper-based and held somewhere in a manual filing system. Today this is not the case at all. Maintaining stealthiness in this day and age is almost next to impossible. Today documents are stored in digital format and can be very easily accessed by many different people all across the country. The Internet and digital databases make it very easy for people to "out" you at some point. For example, even though you can change your name and gender at the Social Security Office they still keep your original gender on file. I have also heard of Transsexual people who had been stealth for years who found that when they applied for Medicare that they were still listed as "male."
I do know some TS women who are stealth and married to men. In most cases their husbands know they are Transsexual but they also only view them as women since they never knew them before they transitioned. I have even met TS women who were married to men who NEVER knew that they were TS. Living in stealth mode is no doubt much easier for married TS women -- just the fact that they are married makes their stealthiness that much "deeper," because they appear to be no different from any other married couple in the eyes of society – I guess you could say that their husband is the perfect “beard.” Even though being married adds to your stealthiness, all the problems with maintaining that stealthiness still apply -- except now two people may be affected if you are somehow outed...
My (ex) best-friend once told me that transitioning was NOT the hardest thing to deal with for Transsexual people -- maintaining your stealthiness, on the other hand, is. In her eyes, if anyone knew you were Transsexual you were nothing but a "complete failure." She even thought that people who were TS fighting for the rights of Transgender people were complete failures just because of the fact that everyone knew they were Transsexual. Needless to say, she and I had some major differences of opinion on this issue...
People who are completely stealth (this is known as being "deep stealth") live in constant fear that they will be "outed" at some point and the life they had worked so hard to achieve will be ruined. I fully understand the want and need to be stealth -- but I certainly will never let stealthiness rule my life. I had to hide who I was almost my entire life -- because for years my life depended on me doing that -- it was a survival tactic. My days of hiding who I am are over! I am very proud of who I am now and it took years for me to come to terms with who I was and to feel that way. I REFUSE to go "back in the closet" again and forever worry that someone will eventually find out that I am Transsexual! I DON'T care if people know I am Transsexual -- I am very PROUD of that fact!
That being said, it is still possible to live with a very high degree of stealthiness. I can live in stealth mode easily enough when I am out in regular society. I can (eventually) live in an area where my neighbors have no "history" of me being "male" and they only view and consider me to be a woman. I can even have friends who only know me as a woman also. One day I may even have a job where everyone I work with only knows me as a woman. I can have all of that and actually be just as stealth as anyone who is in "deep stealth mode," but I will NEVER worry about being "outed." My world won't come to an end if at some point in my life someone somehow finds out that I am Transsexual. The greatest difference between me and someone who is “deep stealth” is that I won't live in constant fear of eventually being outed...
I would also have real problems hiding the fact of who I really was to someone I loved -- that just won't happen. I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't fully accept me for who I am anyway.
I also have too much loyalty to ever turn my back on my friends and family and simply walk away never to be heard from again -- especially after they have supported me. There may be problems in some of those relationships now that I have transitioned, but they deserve better than me just turning my back on them. I will always do whatever I can to keep those friendships because they are very important to me and I care about every one of those people!
Developing New Friendships as My True Self
Although I will never turn my back on all of my old friends, right now I am at a point in my life where I need to create new friendships with people who ONLY know me as female. Even if some of these people know I am Transsexual, they still won't have the baggage or history of knowing me before as "male," and as a result, will accept me only as the true person I am.
I have recently made some new friends who fall into this category. They completely accept me as a woman and do not have a conflicting memory of remembering me as a ‘male’ -- and this is a rare and wonderful thing for me! These people have known me as my ‘true self’ right from the very start and it will be much easier to develop deep friendships or relationships with them as a result.
Surgery
In previous posts I have mentioned that there are two types of surgery that I plan to have. The most important of all is gender reassignment surgery (GRS). I also plan to have facial feminization surgery (FFS) after I have GRS. Both surgeries are very expensive and very painful – but like I have heard so many times – “transition is both very painful and expensive.”
I have had people request that I discuss the different surgeons who perform both GRS and FFS. At some point I may discuss who and where some of these surgeons are located, but I will NEVER recommend one surgeon above another. If I did something like that it would no doubt create a firestorm of angry emails from people who disagreed with my recommendations. I have found that (in most cases) once someone undergoes surgery from one surgeon they will swear until the day they die that that person is the “best” surgeon in the world. I have seen people do this even if they had MAJOR problems caused by their surgeon. Because of this I will NEVER recommend one surgeon over another – even if I happen to think that some surgeons are clearly better than others.
In a previous blog post I stated that I would never divulge when or where I plan to have surgery (GRS or FFS). The reason for this is because there are too many people in my life who are bothered by the fact that I plan to have surgery. These people simply do not understand how important surgery is or exactly what it means to me -- or any Transsexual person for that matter. How could they? Only another Transsexual person would understand this. I have decided that what they don’t know won’t hurt them – or cause them to worry needlessly. I simply cannot risk someone reading this blog, finding out when I will have surgery and telling someone I do not want to know – so I won’t discuss my surgery dates or locations.
Although I do not plan to discuss the date or location I will have surgery, I MAY detail the experience afterwards on this blog. At this point, I haven’t decided for sure that I will do that, but I most likely will. I know that the details would no doubt bother and even upset a lot of people in my life, but the main purpose of this blog is to help other Transsexual people and if I decide that my experience will help them in any way I will write about it. Again, I won’t do that until AFTER the fact…!
Take care and enjoy your life!
Brittany
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6 days ago
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Commentary: The Cass Review revealed as a fraud... and a dangerous one.
-
It seems to me that the widely discredited Cass Review has just been
revealed as even more dubious than before, as Hilary Cass went back on the
recommen...
1 week ago
-
Maybe I need not worry about the Windows 10 support withdrawal
-
Only ten months now before Microsoft turns off support for Windows 10. MS
has been hustling every user of Windows 10 (and earlier versions of
Windows) to u...
1 week ago
-
-
Xmas events
-
*Leeds First Friday*
Had been really looking forward to this one, as normal. Someone I had been
talking to on Instagram for a few years was making th...
1 week ago
-
Triggered and deflected
-
Internally I felt the lure, the temptation, the longing, the anticipation
but whilst I thoroughly enjoyed the visual stimuli, I also felt pangs of
frustrat...
1 week ago
-
Analgorhythm
-
Let me start a threadthat avoids a link to a pagethat might be a
promotionor political and unacceptableand therefore of less importance. So
here’s a cat. N...
1 week ago
-
Puberty blocker consultation: my response
-
In early September I recieved an email from the Department for Health and
Social Care, inviting me to participate in a closed consultation on the
Labour go...
2 weeks ago
-
The Killer of The United Healthcare CEO Is A Folk Hero
-
What most of you who are whining about the rule of law are missing is that
the United States of America is a failed state. It fails to function as a
societ...
2 weeks ago
-
I came out at work, redux
-
Eight years ago, after a long buildup, I finally came out at work (an
elementary school) as trans, and more specifically, non-binary. It was
right after Tr...
3 weeks ago
-
Ooops, I Did It Again
-
Well, I did it again. I spent a week out of town working on a job during
the day and letting Julie out to play during the evening.
Those who follow this bl...
3 weeks ago
-
It's very hard
-
It's a lot to take in, you know? I don't even live in the United States,
but I know what happens there soon happens here.
I don't intend to obey in advan...
4 weeks ago
-
THE GIRL OF MY LIFE
-
It was 1965 and my brother dropped me off at the local youth club where I
had agreed to meet other school friends. We all had a single purpose ... to
fi...
4 weeks ago
-
so sorry
-
sitting in the dark alone again
numbers pile on the floor with no end
wishing to be freed
wishing to be gone indeed
there no end to this infinite time
as the...
4 weeks ago
-
The rise of queer and transgender Bluesky
-
[image: Woman using PC]
*Bluesky has become a real alternative to X-twitter for LGBTQ people.
Transgender World has experienced more than a 50% increase...
5 weeks ago
-
Hi. I'm here, I guess?
-
Good Saturday to everyone,
There are so many things to unpack since I last wrote in this space.
I'm not going to dive "in depth" regarding the elephant i...
5 weeks ago
-
the 2025 Kennet and Avon Canal calendar
-
The new calendar is here!
This year I've gone back to people on the canal; so there's incidents from
daily life and history, like the workboats - here's ...
1 month ago
-
Into the Woods
-
This was written for the storytelling group I belong to about my favourite
forest. I step out of the sunlight and into the dim cedar woods. Trees rise
up o...
1 month ago
-
Thoughts on Sex and Gender
-
Gender is based in the brain whilst sex simply describes what kind of
gametes an organism produces.
1 month ago
-
Dragon Age: Origins (BioWare, 2009): retrospective review
-
And at last, narrowly missing a whole decade since the previous game –
“Dragon Age: Inquisition” – hit the shelves in November 2014, the fourth
installment...
1 month ago
-
Is queer a slur?
-
Many folks are aware of how "queer is a slur" discourse has been reanimated
by TERFs and is wandering around 2020s LGBTQA+ spaces with its arms
outstretche...
1 month ago
-
Review: The Wishing Game
-
[image: The Wishing Game] The Wishing Game by Meg Shaffer
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
I really enjoyed this book but it did make me rethink how I rate and revi...
1 month ago
-
Heartbroken
-
These remarks reflect my personal position alone. They do not reflect the
position of AspirePress or anyone else. Today, I am heartbroken. I feel
many di...
1 month ago
-
Mousies ate my boobs.
-
The mice have been at my tits. Luckily I wasn't wearing them at the time (I
haven't had an opportunity to express my Susie side for months) or else it
mi...
1 month ago
-
Life on the other side
-
I am posting less because I feel there is less to post about. Just my
continuing frustrations at not being in work, not being able to continue my
treatment...
2 months ago
-
ARC Review: The Greatest Superpower
-
I received a copy of The Greatest Superpower from the publisher via
Netgalley in exchange for an honest review. The Greatest Superpower by Alex
Sanchez is ...
2 months ago
-
social Media Integration Test 001
-
just working out the kinks. (All day and all of the night)
2 months ago
-
Las Vegas Convention: Reintroducing Nylon Stockings to the World
-
(The following story is wishful—enjoy reading) Oh, what joy. Let me justify
my statement here, and when I’m finished with my presentation, I’m sure
that h...
2 months ago
-
[Philosophy] The Problem with ‘P’
-
For some unknown reason my workload has gone off the charts. I mean, my
drab workload; since I got Covid the last time I’ve felt a bit ‘worn thin’,
if that...
2 months ago
-
My, what’s time? Merely a tick on the clock.
-
Wow, 6 months huh? Geez Kel, do ya think maybe this dusty ol place is
looking a little deserted? Huh, funny how things shift, life moves on,
changes occur…...
3 months ago
-
what media coverage of online "transvestigators" & the Imane Khelif ordeal
get wrong
-
Hi everyone, I just published a brand new essay: *Why Does
"Transvestigation" Happen? On Gendering, Ungendering, and (Mis)Perceiving
Trans People*!
I h...
3 months ago
-
Keystone Family Retreat - October 2024
-
Realizing the unique needs that families have when raising a trans or
non-binary child, we have created the Keystone Family Retreat to help meet
thos...
4 months ago
-
I have always wanted to be a girl
-
The title of this post will be a familiar thought to many, this thought has
passed through my mind
countless times, it has been with me for as long as I ...
4 months ago
-
Reflecting on 8 years of being professionally trans
-
Today’s my work anniversary. I’ve been at my current company now for 8
years which is also how long I’ve been out as trans at work. So here’s a
bit of refl...
5 months ago
-
Out and about in my pretty sandals...
-
Out and about in my pretty sandals:
Mandy
5 months ago
-
Lynn Conway: Trans Icon and Pioneer, 1938 – 2024
-
I am very sad to hear that the trailblazer Lynn Conway has passed. She
invented things I don’t even understand, created one of the most ferocious
and usefu...
6 months ago
-
Marking time…
-
Well it had to happen at some point: I’ve run out of things to say again!
Way back in the earliest days of this blog, I mentioned that I’d been too
busy do...
10 months ago
-
AI Image Generation
-
It’s a strange world that we live in. Now that generative AI is so
commonplace, it’s reasonable to start distrusting everything that you see
and read. Th...
11 months ago
-
Shine
-
Did progress actually stop when I felt like how things are was the place I
was happy to be? I mean I didn’t make any conscious decision to stop making
actu...
11 months ago
-
Cynthia, Are you there?
-
I’m not gone, still here, just really busy. 2023 has been a really
interesting year for me. I’m not going to get into great detail but suffice
to say there...
1 year ago
-
Fast Forward
-
I have not blogged in three years. This blog post is a short one to say
that I'm still around. I had pulled down all of my blog posts a year or
two ago...
1 year ago
-
Georgia Queen
-
May I present: From our recent travels, a picture taken in Savannah, GA. We
had a fun ride, and the lunch from thee snack bar was actually decent! Mandy
1 year ago
-
Tennis Anyone?
-
Image Courtesy Renith R
on UnSplash
Years ago I felt the need to attempt to copy many of the most popular
feminine mannerisms and/or activities I could f...
1 year ago
-
Tennis Anyone?
-
Image Courtesy Renith R
on UnSplash
Years ago I felt the need to attempt to copy many of the most popular
feminine mannerisms and/or activities I could f...
1 year ago
-
Kind of Curiosity
-
“I’ve got to get stuff from the garage and the boots so we can clear the
table” I heard him say from behind the garden fence.“Oh, that’s ok. Go sort
it out...
1 year ago
-
A Year Later
-
I guess it's time. No time like the present, they say.
A year ago today, I experienced my last real feminine day. I wrote about it
in Wednesday on Saturd...
1 year ago
-
New & Improved!
-
Kandi’s Land has been significantly upgraded. Check it out!
1 year ago
-
It's Now or Never
-
Thank you for the emails and your comments here checking to see if I'm
okay. Well I thought I was, until certain things happened that caused me to
get dep...
1 year ago
-
ferm living glas
-
*Glass & Mirrors – ferm LIVING*. WebGlass & Mirrors. We use a broad range
of types of glass in our collection. We use soda lime glass for glass
tablewar...
2 years ago
-
Ponytail5
-
You might only see 4 as the 1st on is hidden. I am posting this now so I
can link it to reddit. I have to say since Stephie came four years ago, I
have bee...
2 years ago
-
As good a time as any
-
This might be as good a time as any to stop since the beginning of another
chapter of my life seems like a duly appropriate milestone. I can now say
with...
2 years ago
-
That Letter To My Wife
-
Thanks for the mail I received from my last blog. It’s amazing how up
lifting your messages of support are to me. THEY DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
Thank you. ...
2 years ago
-
My New Novel Disgusta is Here!
-
*Available now in print and electronic formats!*
2 years ago
-
Thanksgiving
-
Trigger warning! This post speaks bluntly about my grandchildren getting
hurt in an accident. It is not happy and uplifting. If you have horrible
me...
2 years ago
-
Taking a Break
-
I have been writing for a long time. I even won an award for writing when I
wrote for World Wide Hippies. Unfortunately, I am not in a good place. I
lost m...
2 years ago
-
Intersectionality – Do you know what it is.
-
Do you know about this? Do you know how it fits in your life? I know right
now in the […]
2 years ago
-
-
Space Elevator
-
The white body I wear is mine, but ill-fitting and not me. A phantom body
that is also mine and is me rides within like a ghost, teasing my brain
with each...
2 years ago
-
...and then some time passed
-
Hard to believe that its been 7 years since my last posting. I've been
busy.
Since I last posted, several positive events have happened with a multitud...
2 years ago
-
Love again.
-
She looked and could not find what her heart was missing. Forgetting what
it was like to touch another Gave up the search, thinking she is cursed
Disadvant...
2 years ago
-
Matt Walsh & Piers Morgan You Ain’t Trans Experts So Shut The Fuck Up!
-
With the increasing inevitably of armed conflict in Ukraine, I’m sure
there’ll be an increasing frequency of barstool generals in Wetherspoons
pubs across ...
2 years ago
-
Stars. Needles. Poop. Plates. Wishes.
-
Aside from (very) occasionally checking my horoscope, I am not big into
astrology. That being said, however, I do kinda believe in it and its
impact on us...
3 years ago
-
Breasts are Awesome
-
A talk about my shiny new cheat assets. Breasts I'm talking about my
breasts.
3 years ago
-
I’ve moved the blog!
-
Continue to https://schrodingerswardrobe.blogspot.com/ for further
infrequent ramblings!
3 years ago
-
(20) One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest - 1975
-
First of all, as I would suggest with all these movies, before reading this
review, see the movie if you haven't. I can't talk about this one without
spo...
3 years ago
-
What is “Hate Crime”?
-
You have a few options if you live in Fife and need to report a hate crime.
You can report the incident directly to Police Scotland at Police Scotland
Onli...
3 years ago
-
Jenna’s Journal - September 2021
-
Normal 0 false false false false EN-GB X-NONE X-NONE
3 years ago
-
Farewell
-
I’ve been thinking hard about ending this blog and have decided it’s time.
When I first started this it was to leave testament of my coming out and
transit...
3 years ago
-
One Year
-
Yes, I've been on a one year sort of hiatus. Nothing big happened but just
got wrapped up in things. Will try and post more and start up again. No
chang...
3 years ago
-
Why I Left Twitter
-
in January of this year I took the difficult decision to leave Twitter. It
was necessary for my own mental health. Having reflected now for a couple
of mon...
3 years ago
-
On exceptionalism
-
*The exceptional Jennifer Lawrence*
Sometimes I hold my hands out, palm upwards, in the manner of a
Pentecostalist awaiting the descent of the Holy Spirit...
4 years ago
-
My Best Sex Ever Was With a Trans Woman
-
Why Being Intimate with Your Transgender Lover Could Be the Best Experience
of Your Life Sexual encounters can happen in different ways and between
people ...
4 years ago
-
Whinge with mother
-
Mick Jagger and his merry men called them ‘Mothers little helpers’. Sadly,
I am not a mother. Antidepressants I’m referring to. I have been popping
these f...
4 years ago
-
Posting from the front
-
Now that my dad has passed, things have started to settle down to a new
normal. My brother and I have been talking more often, and XGFJ no longer
posts ...
4 years ago
-
Transient life, transient humans
-
We are transient – traveling from one state to another, and sometimes
combination of different states at once. Hello once again. Sharing this
blog with som...
4 years ago
-
From the waist upwards [Flickr]
-
Sandra M. Lopes posted a photo:
[image: From the waist upwards]
Flattr me!
4 years ago
-
Review: Anna Secret Poet-No Brainer
-
The Tempohouse Anna Album Review Thank you so much to Lorna Irvine of The
Tempohouse for this lovely review of my forthcoming album! You can also
check out...
4 years ago
-
Thought for the day
-
To all my trans readers, if someone tries to break your butterfly wings,
fly away from them. If, despite your efforts they succeed, summon up all
your st...
4 years ago
-
Elie Wiesel’s The Night Trilogy
-
About a year ago, a friend of mine took me to the Amarillo Pubic Library,
where they had basement full of books they were giving away to members of
the lib...
4 years ago
-
Cassi-DJ: Featuring My Nephew C!
-
Hello all - hope you're having a good winter so far and are doing well.
I meant to write about this last week, but I was under the weather nearly
the entir...
4 years ago
-
My Personal Views on Trans Rights Issues
-
So, it’s been a while since I last posted here. Rather than give a full
update on my life, the purpose of this post is to express my views on
various trans...
4 years ago
-
Today’s dust bunnies
-
My newly discovered comfort zone has become a springboard. It reminds me of
attachment theory – a stable centre from which to venture. Each day a new,
mode...
4 years ago
-
A sassy Valentine and my love for Mister Rogers.
-
No glitter, plastic gems or sparkly rhinestones decorated the valentine I
gave my kid Harry this year. I’m usually drawn to cards with the same items
Har...
4 years ago
-
Everything is Fine Here ...
-
I am posting one final time to say goodbye properly, and, as well, to clear
up a mess caused by deleting an uncharacteristically hasty and messy post.
Yes,...
4 years ago
-
Sissy.
-
“male femme” — my blog title says.
“genderqueer femme” — my profile says.
“non-binary femme” — Jam Rostron says.
“sissy femme” — Jacob Tobia says.
Actually:...
4 years ago
-
Transitions: From My Heart to Yours
-
On this day, seven years ago my world changed. I learned a new word;
transgender became part of my vocabulary. Along with that I learned about
the differen...
4 years ago
-
Crossing the line in a blaze of glory
-
Recently I was reading some spiritual insight and advice in which there was
a sort of breakdown of the inception and progression of a sin from fleeting
tho...
4 years ago
-
-
The Quads of Hope
-
2020 has come. It arrived in the usual way on January 1 for most of the
world that follows the Gregorian calendar, some 13 days later in the Old
Style Ju...
4 years ago
-
New Year, Same Stef?
-
I know it’s a bit belated, but Happy New Year! It’s finally 2020 and all I
can say is where the hell did all the time go? Didn’t Y2K just happen? When
did ...
4 years ago
-
The best laid plans of mice and transwomen
-
It has been a while since my last blog entry and until recently I didn’t
have anything really worth talking about, or at least nothing that I was
motivated...
4 years ago
-
An Important Little Date
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=https://youtu.be/ksGE4cqRzPM Six years ago
to the exact day I took my first steps into the world of employment as a
female. ...
4 years ago
-
Holding on
-
“Is she going to die?” I ask the firefighter. It’s been 20 minutes
since I’ve dialed 911, my wife is lying collapsed on the living room floor
of our r...
4 years ago
-
Merry Christmas to all
-
Wishing you all a very merry Christmas. ❤️ ✌️ BY FOR NOW
4 years ago
-
Time to Upgrade
-
November 5th, 2010 - I began this blog. When I started out, I did what
many bloggers do, I headed to Blogger.com. It is a nice friendly platform
"back e...
5 years ago
-
Advocacy for men presenting as men in dresses
-
This is terrific. Of course the mainstream public will write it off as
sensationalism and not take it seriously, but I’m glad of any positive
commentary on...
5 years ago
-
The Power of Music
-
It’s incredible to me how a song can really change your mood or spark an
idea. I have this weird quirk where I often remember the first time I
heard a son...
5 years ago
-
I'm not even counting any more...
-
Err... Right... You're not supposed to appologise when you have a massive
gap between posts are you?
Well, sorry...
The last 2 years have been a roller co...
5 years ago
-
Shifting Sands
-
Although it's over a year since its release, I came across this amazing
publication, and I wanted to give it wider recognition.
The Royal Australian and Ne...
5 years ago
-
Let’s talk about emotional health. For the last few years, I’ve felt a sort
of emotional numbness. I…
-
Let’s talk about emotional health. For the last few years, I’ve felt a sort
of emotional numbness. I assumed that being on testosterone had simply
change...
5 years ago
-
November 2019 - Life on hold for now!
-
Currently life is on hold due to ongoing health issue which will sadly not
go away. Mentioned in my previous entry about an ongoing ‘virus’ which I
had fo...
5 years ago
-
Bno
-
My suit case for the weekend was so big it was the only thing that would
fit in the boot. Mrs Sox's rather small case had to go on the back seat.
For weeke...
5 years ago
-
The Three Little Pigs Reimagined
-
For a school project, CJ had to design a set for a production of The Three
Little Pigs. CJ being CJ, he insisted on reimagining the classic story and
makin...
5 years ago
-
The Summons
-
I was summoned to the Managers office this week .. and asked to shut the
door . .. Gulp!
My mind was in turmoil as to what I had done wrong, was I bei...
5 years ago
-
Gratitude Journal
-
Caregiver fatigue for the spouse supporting the one who has depression is
real. I’ve been trying to find a new therapist since I stopped seeing mine
due to...
5 years ago
-
Transferring to a new Blog
-
Due to circumstances beyond my control, I am forced to close down this blog
and open up a new one. Please visit my new blog, "Dotting I's and Crossing
T...
5 years ago
-
September’s Blog
-
Hi folks and followers, It’s been forever since I’ve posted anything new
but it really hasn’t been that much to report. I’ve decided to do a monthly
post...
5 years ago
-
Mouse Hunt
-
Still shaking off the rust:
If you have delved at all into the first four or five years of posts here
(and why haven't you?!), you know that my wife's re...
5 years ago
-
My take on 2019 St. John's Pride
-
Well, I stayed away from the Pride Parade in St. John's for 6 years in a
row now. it's unfortunate that I don't feel welcome or comfortable to
attend with ...
5 years ago
-
New Beginnings
-
“Are you sure you don’t want to come along?” It’d been a few months since I
gave Pandora her tattoo, and now the small shop was completely flooded with
dre...
5 years ago
-
Sharron Davies goes Full Bigot
-
Xandra goes full bitch! Whenever anyone claims to want to have a ‘debate’
about the position of transgender people in society, no matter how
‘reasonable’ t...
5 years ago
-
Trucking Along
-
Well… Hello there! Life happens ya know? Just straight up, get in the
groove and forget your computer exists and then you go to write and you’re
like, holy...
5 years ago
-
Gabi Talks – Meeting Praise with Self Criticism (video)
-
One of my favorite activities is starting conversations with random
strangers. I love meeting people and making friends! One of my “super
powers” is find...
5 years ago
-
I Still Live
-
It's that time of the year where I start missing my teenage years,
nevermind the fact that was the moment my life went to shit, the beginning
of the end. A...
5 years ago
-
Cold
-
When everything is dark and the church gives no light, what should you do?
5 years ago
-
Perfect Scores Masking Critical Inadequacies and Failures in Trans Wellness
-
I had a routine follow-up visit with my surgeon earlier this week to assess
healing from my procedure 3 weeks ago. The good news is that the
discomfort is...
5 years ago
-
Where is our trans history?
-
...it is an historical record of erasure, a pan-global register of undoing
and enforced forgetting.
5 years ago
-
Book Launch – Transgressive: A Trans Woman on Gender, Feminism, and Politics
-
“Taking unerring aim at the patriarchal transphobia that saturates our
lives, Williams’ piercing insights and vivid personal accounts capture the
heartbr...
5 years ago
-
Stonewall’s radical history
-
After the Noho Pride parade on Saturday, May 4th, join me in the Tri-County
Fairgrounds to hear the radical, true story of Stonewall. Continue reading →
5 years ago
-
DRAB = Dressed As A Boy
-
It's been kind of an up and down time for me, so about time for an
update....starting with my time with the Gems.
Eleven years ago, I joined a new trans...
5 years ago
-
April 2019 - An update
-
We are third of the way into the year and only my second blog entry! That
tells a story in itself I suppose and basically means it has been quiet for
me. ...
5 years ago
-
12 Week-Recovery, 12-Month Relapse… & Uncelebrated Anniversaries
-
About 13 months ago I wrote a euphoric post about my gender reassignment
surgery. I do remain extremely pleased about the physical result, it looks
like it...
5 years ago
-
Afterword
-
If you’re wondering where the rest of this blog has gone, I’m sorry to
disappoint but after hinting at it for a while, after reaching a particular
mileston...
5 years ago
-
Trans Radio UK first birthday
-
Friday 22nd February 2019 was Trans Radio UK’s 1st birthday. We had come
such a long way from all the ideas and planning of a radio station to those
firs...
5 years ago
-
Getting one's life back
-
Well, (counts...) nearly 5 months between posts is a record, even for
me. But as one might imagine, I've had other things on my mind. Surgical
recovery...
5 years ago
-
Sometimes
-
Sometimes I look in the mirror To make sure I’m still there I trace the
scars That I made Five … More
5 years ago
-
Risk to human rights after Brexit?
-
This recent article from the Guardian gave me some cause for thought
https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2019/feb/13/post-brexit-trade-partners-ask-uk-to-l...
5 years ago
-
OBSESSION by Kelli
-
First thing first, I'm not talking about the perfume. I'm talking about
our little ol' minds taking in something, not being able to forget it, and
const...
5 years ago
-
I’m Devastated
-
⌈Trigger Warning; language, female body functions, eating disorder, self
harm, mention of suicide⌋ When I started testosterone my period stopped
instantly....
5 years ago
-
Detaching Myself from My Dysphoria
-
The other day, I was trying to imagine how my life would be different if
I’d never suffered from gender dysphoria. The point wasn’t to create a
fantasy lif...
5 years ago
-
Makeup Removal
-
I have lost count of all the different things I have tried or used to
remove makeup quickly and efficiently. The past couple of years I have
been using ma...
5 years ago
-
GRS – 3 Surgeries and One Beautiful Nightmare (Part 1/3)
-
[Content warnings for graphic depictions of bodily functions, surgery,
suicide, mental illness, swearing] This isn’t an in-depth look into GRS,
just a stor...
5 years ago
-
2018 Review - Part 2
-
Part 1 of my review of 2018 covered the goals I set myself. Part 2 deals
with all the other things that happened this year, and there has been quite
a bit ...
5 years ago
-
Progress, slowly slowly.
-
So things seem now to be heading in a scary but ultimately more positive
direction for me at last. After a recent discussion with my wife she now
seems to ...
5 years ago
-
Transgender Day of Remembrance
-
Every year, there is a commemoration of Transgender Day of Remembrance
(TDoR) at my local LGBT drop-in centre. Fortunately, there was a lull in
the activit...
6 years ago
-
Twilight Zone: Nails III - Press on Nails - Part One
-
irst up nothing has changed on my own nail front since last time. I’ve put
in a few hardening cycles which seems to work. This is due to having a
combina...
6 years ago
-
Absolutely OUTstanding
-
It has been quite a while since I have posted anything on this blog. Five
months, to be precise. Yet a few things have happened within the last week
or s...
6 years ago
-
Today's Fashion Inspiration
-
One of my favourite colour combinations is red, black and gold and so when
I happened to be looking at pencil skirts online last year I came across
Alan...
6 years ago
-
Cancer is stalking me
-
It’s taken me all week to process this, and share this news. A few days
ago, on my mother’s birthday, I got the results of a genetic test following
my annu...
6 years ago
-
Who wears the trousers ?
-
So was out with a friend,shopping in Marheinekeplatz market ; there's a
saturday and a sunday one, clothes, a few antiques , bicycles , a chess
stall, all...
6 years ago
-
Post
-
So a word of warning. I received a letter on Saturday from the Clydesdale
Bank asking me to activate a Gold Credit Card. Mmmm, that is odd I mused, I
haven...
6 years ago
-
Turns Out I Was Right
-
Seems the setbacks I deemed minor actually were minor. I’m down 1.2 lbs
from yesterday, and right back on track with where I was two days ago. I
could se...
6 years ago
-
May You Find Peace
-
I have made peace with myself, and can no longer in good faith leave or
recommend the content I once posted here. Those writings were my best
desperate ho...
6 years ago
-
It’s been awhile
-
Warning: this post is different. It talks about things that may make some
readers uncomfortable – especially ones that know me personally and in
parts it ...
6 years ago
-
Processions 2018 - Why Trans Sisters Need to March Alongside Their Sisters
-
My Partner and I at Processions 2018 - Credit: Tina Williams I am my
grandmother’s granddaughter. She fought for my right to vote and I wanted
to honour th...
6 years ago
-
Panties – A Special Pleasure
-
In our recent poll on lingerie that trans girls and crossdressers prefer,
panties tied for first place with 25% of the vote. I don’t profess to
having th...
6 years ago
-
‘She Said’ a universal, personal wive’s tale
-
The thing that most surprises me and never surprises me at all is how other
“wife of” stories are not at all like my story and totally like my story.
Yep, ...
6 years ago
-
We Need to Think Differently About Love
-
Time for another rant about sexual and romantic scripts! Today’s pet peeve
is how we talk about love, both finding and having it. Scripts on love are
just ...
6 years ago
-
The merry-go-round
-
It’s been 14 months since I wrote a Parenting Jeremy. Up until recently
there has been nothing really of note to write about in our lives with
respect to...
6 years ago
-
Profile: Amy
-
You can call me… Amy I identify as… Genderqueer/genderfluid I’m not sure??
As far as third-person pronouns go, … They/them or she/her I’m attracted
to… Guy...
6 years ago
-
MAGA?
-
So far – as of 1/31/18 January 18, 2018: The Department of Health and Human
Services’ Office of Civil Rights opened a “Conscience and Religious Freedom
Div...
6 years ago
-
almost daily report from DOXA 2018... indolent Spinster variety.
-
Here is my report i meant to do yesterday (well i filmed it yesterday after
seeing the movie, but went to work right after, then kitty cat took up my
a...
6 years ago
-
Finale
-
Unfortunately, I am finding that this blog and my life is being used far
too often as a political football to promote various agendas and the actual
messag...
6 years ago
-
Finale
-
Unfortunately, I am finding that this blog and my life is being used far
too often as a political football to promote various agendas and the actual
messag...
6 years ago
-
Interesting Article on CNN - Why girls can be boyish but boys can't be
girlish
-
One topic that I find fascination is the idea of shifting gender
stereotypes and how people, particularly "men" who enjoy trandtionally
"female" things, ar...
6 years ago
-
Futanari Convent Book 1 & 2
-
When I was preparing to notify the world about my latest book
I came across two reviews that I hadn’t read. Surprised me. I thought
Amazon wa...
6 years ago
-
Love the kid you've got, not the one you wish you had
-
Parents of LGBTQ kids, or any kids, even young adult kids,
I ask you to listen; to read and to consider:
In recent months, I've had the fortune and misfor...
6 years ago
-
one more cup of coffee
-
TW The hustle for work continues, which is discouraging but necessary. I’m
having relationship issues, as all anyone wants to do is date. Decided
that’s ...
6 years ago
-
This Week's Calogrenant
-
A Change of Venue
calogrenant.com
6 years ago
-
Day 1,245: Moments Frozen in Time
-
I have to admit, we had a pretty good run here at So There’s That. 21
podcast episodes and 32 blog posts over the course of a year. And a little
bit of n...
6 years ago
-
Flying solo in Las Vegas – Part I
-
I have had a great last 10 days. I have been on three wonderful outings in
which I did things that I have wanted to for a long time but never either
the c...
6 years ago
-
Resetting the body clock
-
Years ago, I mentioned that my sleep patterns were screwed up.
On new years eve, I found myself at home alone, with my wife and son having
gone to the last...
6 years ago
-
Stuff people say when hearing about someone coming out…
-
Whether they believe the things they say themselves is questionable, but
I think the majority of time people tend to jump to conclusions because
they’re ...
6 years ago
-
Its been a while...
-
I’m not really even expecting that anyone will remember me and read this,
but I did think that it was about time my long neglected blog got dusted
off and ...
7 years ago
-
It is time I shared my heart...my mind and a little bit of my soul
-
**update**This was written in the middle of the entire experience. We are
now settling into the changes but I wanted to share my emotions, my hurts
and m...
7 years ago
-
What's in a Name?
-
Many years ago, while the internet was still in its infancy, I started
looking to find out information from other transgender individuals. At that
time bul...
7 years ago
-
Wednesday November 15, 2017 - HIV Protection
-
Now There's An HIV Prevention App Specifically For Trans Women Each week,
LGBT HealthLink, a program of CenterLink, and researcher and blogger Corey
Prac...
7 years ago
-
Patients & Providers: The Mental Health Provider’s Role
-
Let's move towards a patient-centered, collaborative model of care – one
that ensures trans patients receive accurate information to help them
understand w...
7 years ago
-
25 October Journal
-
Well Folks, I am still working on my other post. I think it will be part of
the next book of my life, rather than the end of this one. I am closing
this bl...
7 years ago
-
Why there’re no posts ?
-
Hi, I decided to take out all my posts from here as it seemed to have given
some people more insight into my life than they should ever have. I seem to
hav...
7 years ago
-
Excuse our dust, but we have moved!
-
I have moved my blog over to a dedicated hosting provider, and we have
successfully migrated over to the WordPress platform. We have our own
domain name, a...
7 years ago
-
The Familial Revelation
-
When it comes to family, I think we can all agree that it is never easy and
in a word, complicated. I have spent the last few months letting family
know ...
7 years ago
-
-
On the Pride Center of the Capital Region, terfs, and Why Martha Harvey
Needs to Resign
-
CW: lots of swears, lots of terfs (A quick aside on the word terf because
I’m going to use it about a thousand times. It’s not a slur. Here’s a
doctor tell...
7 years ago
-
My friend's Rainbow Journey
-
I recently met someone from Japan, one who I now consider to be my friend,
who is traveling around the world talking to Transgender folk and sharing
their ...
7 years ago
-
What was said. What I’d have loved to have said. In Two Parts.
-
What was Said. Part 1 *Mrs. Bellejambes* celebrated a birthday recently.
Some of the things I picked up for her were not perfect, and one was a
complete r...
7 years ago
-
I'm Not Myself
-
I've been calling myself Genderfluid for just over a year now, at the time
it seemed to describe the ever changing nature of how I felt about myself
and my...
7 years ago
-
That’s all folks……….
-
Between 1955 and 1959, 143 episodes of “The Adventures of Robin Hood”
emerged from a tiny studio in Walton on Thames and burst onto black and
white telli...
7 years ago
-
That’s all folks……….
-
Between 1955 and 1959, 143 episodes of “The Adventures of Robin Hood”
emerged from a tiny studio in Walton on Thames and burst onto black and
white telli...
7 years ago
-
Thoughts on Pride Month
-
Growing up is never easy, but the difficulty is compounded when one is
an LGBT youth. Born a boy, I longed desperately to be female. I knew who
I w...
7 years ago
-
With Purpose
-
The title of this post really highlights the way I’ve felt the last several
months and the experiences I’ve had the chance to take in. Since my last
updat...
7 years ago
-
With Purpose
-
The title of this post really highlights the way I’ve felt the last several
months and the experiences I’ve had the chance to take in. Since my last
updat...
7 years ago
-
Transgender and LGBT++ Rights promised in UK Party Manifestos
-
This piece is not written to influence how you vote in the general Election
on June 8th. it’s too late for that and in my humble opinion getting May
out of...
7 years ago
-
Trans Twitter Gives Bad Dating Advice
-
Trans Twitter Gives Bad Dating Advice — “You have much gold upon your
head,” They answer’d all together: “Buy from us with a golden curl.” —
Christina Ro...
7 years ago
-
I'll miss this platform
-
But I don't think I'm going to keep using it. It's sad, because I've been
writing here for such a long time, and blogging for myself is therapeutic,
even i...
7 years ago
-
Fracas
-
So, today after an awesome meeting with a group I will be working with for
a time I went to the store. At said store there was a huge line but we were
all ...
7 years ago
-
New Developments on the Sage Smith Case
-
Today (3/30/17), the *Daily Progress* reports that THREE MONTHS AGO the
Charlottesville Police Department classified Sage Smith's disappearance as
a homici...
7 years ago
-
And happily ever after...
-
Family snuggle timeI've retired from blogging. I've been channeling my
creative energy into other hobbies, and I'm feeling uninspired to write
about my wi...
7 years ago
-
Well…didn’t see this Coming.
-
The following posts were made to my male Facebook profile. I finally came
to terms with it enough to [ost it here. I was trying to let this [profile
remain...
7 years ago
-
We Need A “Standards of Care” for Detransitioners
-
One of my biggest takeaways from attending the recent USPATH conference is
that many clinicians and other providers sincerely want more information on
unde...
7 years ago
-
Carpe diem, seize the day
-
At the funeral of one of our Transmatters friends two weeks ago I reflected
how fortunate we are to have attended very few funerals, though as we - and
fri...
7 years ago
-
Not a good week
-
I've been angry, depressed and on the verge of tears most of the week. As
an older trans person, life can throw you some crap, especially these days
with ...
7 years ago
-
Stuck In The Middle Again
-
How to start? I said long ago when I made my choice to back our new
President that when he did things I felt were wrong I would call him out on
it. Today i...
7 years ago
-
Dog People, Cat People, Nonbinary People (AKA The Draft For My Facebook
Coming Out)
-
If you ask whether someone is a Dog Person or a Cat Person, most people
don’t have to think twice. They’ll immediately reply with which pet they
prefer, an...
7 years ago
-
Why I'm so passionate about the issues of others.
-
*It's been 2.5 years since I've posted. I said I would post if I had
something to say and today, I do. Please note the experience I write about
does not in...
7 years ago
-
Are You Going To The Women’s March?
-
For me, that is an easier question to answer than, “Are you a woman?” or
“What are you going as?” Yes. Donna and I will be going to the NYC Women’s
March o...
7 years ago
-
Was only a reader, till now
-
Me thinks it is time to write something. I’ve been reading T-Central for
almost 7 years now. I have much …
Continue reading →
7 years ago
-
I want to say – Call me Anna
-
It’s not going to happen, but it’s what I yearn for. Even if I can’t dress
as Anna it would be so nice that at least the family knew who I am. They
can cal...
7 years ago
-
When my night collides with my day
-
My night will collide with morning, probably without the benefit of
sleep. Too many demons this time. They just smiled, and kept on coming.
This just f...
7 years ago
-
New Year, big changes.
-
*Happy **New** Year!*
I begin the new year letting go of some important things. First up is the
pseudonym I have used for years. ‘Haust’ is gone, ...
7 years ago
-
Yuletide greetings.
-
*Soon be nobody left now that Leonard Cohen is gone too... Someone else who
had to deal with depression and his music soothed my troubled soul. Just
sad to...
8 years ago
-
Victoria’s Secret – The Show
-
Hey, so yesterday it was time for the amazing show. I haven’t seen the show
but I took a look at a lot of pictures and it seemed amazing and I can’t
wait t...
8 years ago
-
Dream Myself Awake
-
I don't usually wake up startled in the middle of the night, sit up in my
bed in the stillness of a dark room and wonder why my heart is racing and
my ski...
8 years ago
-
Week 85:Top Surgery Update:The collage above starts at 8 days...
-
*Week 85:*
*Top Surgery Update:*
The collage above starts at 8 days post-op (image bottom left) and then
clockwise shows my chest at 10 ...
8 years ago
-
Heroes and Hope
-
It’s times like these that make me feel the most hopeless. I haven’t always
been good at dealing with feelings like this. But when the future looks
bleak, ...
8 years ago
-
More education and awareness
-
“Police records show there has been a significant rise in the number of
transgender hate crimes over the last four years - from 361 attacks in the
year en...
8 years ago
-
I am able to talk again
-
I am back on deck and I think more in control of myself than I have been
for quite some time. Will be making more additions to this blog as I go
along. The...
8 years ago
-
Ringing the changes part 2
-
So, my first post about how I changed my name with various organisations
was starting to get a bit long, so this is a continuation. The first can
be seen ...
8 years ago
-
The cultivation corner...Marijuana master cultivation tip #1
-
So you want to grow good marijuana? Don't we all!
First thing you need is some clones or some seeds. (I sell seeds. Shameless
self promotion.)
Now before yo...
8 years ago
-
the thursday lunch run to Popik's Place - thur. sept 15th, 2016
-
me at the local hot dog stand last thur sept 15th called "Popiks Place" on
Terrill rd. in Scotch Plains NJ
Steve Popik sells only the best quality ...
8 years ago
-
September 22 2016
-
Thank you. Thank you for the last four years. Thank you for letting me
into your hearts, for letting me be a part of your day, for letting me
bounce my th...
8 years ago
-
My response to a post by Tyler Charles Austen
-
Dear Mr Austen, On 26th August 2016, you made a post on your eponymous
blog (that means you named it after yourself) called “I Can’t Believe I’m
Saying Th...
8 years ago
-
Last Post
-
So this is it. The last post I’ll make here (for the foreseeable future
anyway). I’ve moved my fitness adventures over to
http://transtriathlete.com and I’...
8 years ago
-
A rediscovered poem
-
I found this in my 2013 dream journal, from when I was still in the closet.
My dreams were born from above, not below, or if below, in the primal
ember ...
8 years ago
-
Second Contribution-Pre Dallas Trip
-
Hi again.
I hope your day has gone nicely so far.
After my creation of this blog early on Tuesday morning, I felt it best to
dump a bit more crap on the ...
8 years ago
-
This is goodbye (A happy one)
-
This is going to be my last post on It’s ok to be a glow stick. I am sad to
be saying goodbye but my life has changed dramatically and sadly, there is
no r...
8 years ago
-
Identity Crisis
-
I have lost my identity.
I'm not sure if I'm still mom, wife, daughter or 911 dispatcher.
If I'm not any of the above, then who am I besides lost?
8 years ago
-
Goodbye
-
It's been a couple of months since I last posted, despite my desire to do
an A-Z on the issues I find important. My absence was caused by many
things, but...
8 years ago
-
Progress report: changes and measurements month 21
-
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1wb8kGWWGmt3HJpo_7PUiBviFdWlOzBoNlvJnJbSr2jE/edit?usp=sharing
Click on the tab ‘year 2’ for the data. Changes Boobs g...
8 years ago
-
Texas Transgender Nondiscrimination Summit in Killeen July 29-30
-
So yeah. Tough year. And that's why I'm about to say something I've never
said before: I'm really excited to be going to Killeen this weekend. That's
right...
8 years ago
-
My Return and First Time Out… again
-
I’ve been trying to collect my thoughts the last few days. They have been
a jumble of emotions, mostly good. I haven’t felt this way in a long time
and f...
8 years ago
-
Golf + Bubble Baths – Why I’m Happier as a Woman
-
I always knew that I was happier as a woman, but I’m only just starting to
realize why. I played golf today with a couple of my old male friends. I
shank...
8 years ago
-
Terrorism and the Violence of Otherness: Response to the Orlando Pulse
Massacre
-
TW: Orlando Massacre, violence * ** *** **** ***** In the early hours of
Sunday, June 12, 2016, just after last call, a gunman entered the Pulse
Nightclub ...
8 years ago
-
These Recent Events
-
Hello, my amazing readers.
I don't have much to report personally, except to say that Natasha is
scared. She's not exactly letting it run her life. Because...
8 years ago
-
Good News from Oregon
-
*The West is the Best. Get here and we'll do the rest. *
Long time no blog. The state of the nation at times looks bleak,
particularly after this w...
8 years ago
-
Trans Proud.
-
For along time in my life I didn't come out as a trans woman. Mostly due to
fear. Fear of how those close to me would react. Fear of backlash from the
comm...
8 years ago
-
Thoughts on the Orlando shooting
-
There is something surreal, in moments like this, about being a privileged
member of an oppressed minority. I can breeze through airport security
with whi...
8 years ago
-
Honestly Geraldine, why do you need to crossdress?
-
This is the very tentative first step by a somewhat bewildered ordinary man
who discovered that at sixty years of age, I needed to crossdress. I hope
to de...
8 years ago
-
The First Mothers’ Day
-
If last year we celebrated the last Father’s Day, this year we introduced
the first Mothers’ Day. And yes, the apostrophe is in the right place. I
admit to...
8 years ago
-
An Update
-
Hi, everyone. I know, I know, I promised to start blogging again. And
that was a hell of a long time ago. I just found myself far too busy, and
far too ...
8 years ago
-
People who influence your life
-
I haven't posted to this blog in a very long time, but there really isn't
much in the way of my spouse's transition or my own feelings about it to
report ...
8 years ago
-
Feeling Positive Again :)
-
I had been feeling really down about things over the last few months and I
know that my recent posts on here haven’t been very positive about my
situation....
8 years ago
-
To be or not to be – gay?
-
After a nudge from my most patient follower, I thought I’d pen something I
have been thinking about posting for a while. Nicci has been on a long
journey a...
8 years ago
-
To be or not to be – gay?
-
After a nudge from my most patient follower, I thought I’d pen something I
have been thinking about posting for a while. Nicci has been on a long
journey a...
8 years ago
-
My 100th post…
-
This is my 100th post. I was hoping to make it a special one with a
description of another outing as Valerie, in my new modern “blending”
outfit. Unfortuna...
8 years ago
-
Back on track
-
It really sucked having to stop HRT at the beginning of this month. Unable
to get a prescription, and having difficulties importing what I needed to
self-m...
8 years ago
-
A Sad Day in North Carolina
-
North Carolina is a strange State and a great State (most of the time).
Today, it is a sad State. I have many fond childhood memories of summers
there wh...
8 years ago
-
Clue
-
This was a test. This was the ultimate test.
To have brought a humble being out of the woods, out of the swamp, out of
the wild
And plop it into her life a...
8 years ago
-
Ghosts
-
So it has been almost a year since I last posted. It is not that I’ve had
a lack of things to write about, more of a case of writers block – finding
words...
8 years ago
-
-
Not sure what to say..
-
I am not sure what to do, or what to say, depression is my only constant
“friend”, with me all the time, someone I hate, yet never hates me back.
Medical m...
8 years ago
-
Back to the Stone Age.
-
I think the song is fitting, It is not mine, the opinions on this page are
mine. In posting this video, I am in no way saying that this group believes
as I...
8 years ago
-
Conclusion and Closure
-
I don't tend to blog that often these days. It's a shame really because I
used to love blogging. Unfortunately my time tends to be taken up with
other thin...
8 years ago
-
Come Up to the Lab: My Gender Workshop
-
Ever since Time Magazine proclaimed a “Transgender Tipping Point” a year
and a half ago, I’ve been exploring trans identities and expressions that
aren’t i...
8 years ago
-
hiatus
-
just wanted to let you all know that Will is doing fabulous in recovery
(tracking everything diligently on @journeyintomanhood) and in England for
his se...
8 years ago
-
Reminder: Follow my new blog! This one is closing imminently
-
This is just a quick reminder, in case anyone who cares missed it the first
time, that GenderDrift is being turned into a private blog where it can
rest pe...
9 years ago
-
Time to myself
-
Recently I have been lucky to have a few evenings to myself to let Jenny
out of the wardrobe. Most of these occasions have been just in my room as
usual, ...
9 years ago
-
Being a Gender Critical woman born trans is a very lonely place to be
-
My understanding of gender critical theory is limited.
There's no reference text anywhere explaining it, and questioning GC
theorists on their own turf nev...
9 years ago
-
Blogging about it….
-
I started this blog because I wanted to help people in a similar situation
to me. I was younger and never proclaimed to have all the answers.
Sometimes the...
9 years ago
-
Debunking Bathroom Myths
-
*Debunking Bathroom Myths*
Original article by *Brynn Tannehill *can be viewed *Here*
*When the Houston Equal Rights Ordinance was defeated, the ostens...
9 years ago
-
RUMBLED. BUT IT TURNS OUT TO THE GOOD
-
As per usual on a Wed evening I make my way to the Butterfly Club support
premises to get my self ready to face the world. Nothing new in that. And
as per ...
9 years ago
-
Caitlyn Jenner Speaks at Chicago House Event
-
Caitlyn Jenner Speaks at Chicago House Event:
grvsmth:
sometranslady:
grvsmth:
sometranslady:
snowflakeespecial:
This isn’t a funny story. Trying on y...
9 years ago
-
Postscript
-
I thought that my urge to blog had departed. It hasn't... but I do need to
move on. Angie's Aspirations — aka About Angie — was written from the
perspecti...
9 years ago
-
Got A Little Beautified…
-
Not much here, but I went out for a bit of a day, treated by a couple of
friends, and had my brows waxed and got my hair done. Here’s the results.
I s...
9 years ago
-
17 Months on T Update
-
17 Months on T Next week marks 17 months on T, nearly one and a half
years. I cannot believe I have not posted any update for 5 months, time
just really h...
9 years ago
-
Paranoid Locker Room Fantasies (mostly about naked Trans bodies)
-
Remember the 80’s sex comedy? This is where men learned what girls did in
the locker room (or conversely where women learned what men fantasized
about what...
9 years ago
-
10 Ways to Destroy the Earth
-
my mother died in this room now it is occupied by my nieces whenever they
sleep over a playroom i currently occupy it sleeping on the lower bunk of
their l...
9 years ago
-
-
While I Am Away...
-
So....
I have been away...yup. Not news. Been busy. Plus, not much to write about
really, I've just submerged into 'normal' Nairobi life, with a few bumps ...
9 years ago
-
Coming soon
-
[image: Coming soon]
9 years ago
-
Become a girl
-
[image: Become a girl]
9 years ago
-
-
Still Here
-
I realized last week that I hadn’t written a blog…or a Facebook post…or a
journal entry…or much of anything in five or six months. Part of me was
bothered ...
9 years ago
-
A SHORT VID
-
9 years ago
-
Stronger
-
So I think it is safe to say that Keira is getting stronger or at the very
least more prevalent. I’ve been getting more confident doing certain
things, I k...
9 years ago
-
Stronger
-
So I think it is safe to say that Keira is getting stronger or at the very
least more prevalent. I’ve been getting more confident doing certain
things, I k...
9 years ago
-
5 months in
-
*Continued**, from April 5th 2015*
5 months since the hospital I still don't know much about it.
Dissociative Identity Disorder.
My amnesia isn't just ha...
9 years ago
-
Through The Looking Glass
-
I’m not sure exactly when it happened, but it did. That is, I stopped
considering myself “transitioning.” What does that mean, exactly? Am I
where I want t...
9 years ago
-
Finishing therapy
-
I looked back to refer to other blog posts about the CBT I have been having
and found none, realising that I had not written anything about it since I
star...
9 years ago
-
-
*Hey!*
So... tomorrow school begins again.
This schoolyear I am planning to come out and start dressing, acting,
talking, etc. like a girl. Honestly, it's ...
9 years ago
-
Can you Rewrite History & Eliminate Hate?
-
I read about an attempt to remove another civil war memorial. I shook my
head. It’s obviously an over-reaction to the recent attacks on churches.
With tha...
9 years ago
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Transition Is A Banquet
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Transition is not a one-way street, or a bowling lane with the bumpers up.
Transition is not a recipe with precise measurements, or a fixed
curriculum, or ...
9 years ago
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It’s Inherent
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The frequency and unexpectedness with which being transgendered asserts
itself is ever a source of amazement. Regardless of how deeply in
background one ma...
9 years ago
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This Rain
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Originally posted on chester maynes:
Abruptly, water gushes from the sky. I hear the storm drops too loud. Wind
creeps cold on my skin. Thunder slits these ...
9 years ago
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The Biggest Changes Come in the Smallest Packages
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I know my posts have been lacking for the past year but I have done a lot
of soul-searching and cleanup around my home and in my life to prepare
myself to ...
9 years ago
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Telling a Friend
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I recently told a friend about Amy. I didn't go into many details or show
him pictures or anything, but it felt good to talk about and get a positive
reac...
9 years ago
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The world keeps on turning.
-
So I guess it’s time to get back into this blog of mine. I mean I’ve been
gone for so long and really it’s just time to start again. Since my last
real b...
9 years ago
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My Friend Beth
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A few weeks ago, I said that I wasn't going to be linking to trans-articles
unless something special occurred. There were so many stories that they
weren'...
9 years ago
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Why Bruce Jenner, Andreja Pejic and other Trans Celebrities Still Don’t
Matter
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Recently there have been a number of celebrities that have come out to
announce that they define as transgender. For some of them it wasn’t a
shocker, for ...
9 years ago
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On Reconciling my Beliefs, Depression and Gender
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Howdy. Sorry it's been a while, I am simply the most infrequent blogger in
the world... I've been buried under piles of work for what seems like
forever, a...
9 years ago
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End game...
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So things didn't get better...I slipped further and last Tuesday I went to
my scheduled appointment...when she saw me the choices were go home for a
matter...
9 years ago
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Handbags & Glad Rags……….
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I always feel a bit rotten about writing a new post when I have so many
posts from others to …
Continue reading →
9 years ago
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Commenters and deep thoughts
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I would like to start by apologizing for the long break between posts. A
little thing called life intervenes and my writing suffers. Family, health,
work, ...
9 years ago
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Visibility
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i am a transman. I chose to medically transition so now I am on the other
side of the binary. Being visible for me now means continuing to advocate
for fr...
9 years ago
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Early attempts to deal with my feminine feelings (chapter 2 of my book, My
Transvestite Addictions)
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I began feeling like I wanted to be a girl when I was 10. All these years
later, it’s hard to explain why. It was just like a feeling and knowledge
that c...
9 years ago
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Motorhead Girls
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Motorhead Girls ... we are girls who love cars, trucks, bikes, planes, and
boats. Anything with a motor. Maybe we love some of them, maybe we love all
of ...
9 years ago
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Shutting down
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I've decided that I am not, after all, the blogging type.
I never managed it in my other identity either, so I don't know why I
should be surprised.
So,...
9 years ago
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Dangerous Situation
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***** This post might be triggering ***** Something really scary happened
last evening. I was standing outside with a friend (who is also homeless
and we u...
9 years ago
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Could it really be THAT easy?
-
So, not going to get too excited here, but bear with me, kay? Last night, I
decided to talk to Phyl about her withdrawals and pulling away. I wanted to
try...
9 years ago
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One Year as Me!
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Dianne Piggott
10/30/2013
One year. Just one year. One entire year. All of one year. One circle of
the Earth around the Sun.
A year ago t...
9 years ago
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Cumberbatch and his offense offence
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Poor old Benny Cumberbatch…him and his big old posh, ex slave owning gob.
Actually I feel for the bloke. Trying to do his best for British actors of
colour...
9 years ago
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Coming out on Facebook.
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I have a relatively small number of friends on facebook, I keep it that
way, I don’t add anyone I meet. Everyone on my friends list is actually my
friend o...
9 years ago
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New Hair … :) Trying different looks :)
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So the new wig arrived… and figured a day off would be fitting to try it on
:) Here are a few pics… Ya short and sweet post … :P Peace and Love!
Tamara :)
9 years ago
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Transgender Q&A
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When it comes to the subject of transgender and the LGBT community, I think
that there are three different types of people. The first (and the fastest
gro...
9 years ago
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I is for Identity Politics
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Hello all. For my first post of 2015, I am going back to blogging through
ye old alphabet. Today I is for identity politics. Identity politics are
how ...
9 years ago
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Leelah, and all the others who struggle
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Happy New Year!
I'm so sorry I don't update regularly! I have been off school for a couple
weeks, so I have no good excuse, but I hope you all had a wonder...
9 years ago
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A New Christmas with family
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As anyone can expect the end of the year can bring surprises and lots of
joy to one's heart and soul. This year is really an exception for Kay and
I, as w...
9 years ago
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On the other side!
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It’s been a few days since I last posted on my blog, and for good reason.
Thursday, 11th December 2014 I finally had the surgery I had been waiting
so lon...
10 years ago
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Saying goodbye
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The time has come for me to say goodbye and put this blog to bed. I doubt
anyone reads it anymore, but I’m the type of person who likes closure, so I
gue...
10 years ago
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Xmas 2014
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I thought I should drop a post in, and wish everyone a happy Xmas.
If you should be reading this, and you are a Pagan like my son, or any of
the non-christ...
10 years ago
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11-18-2014 Entry: Pulling Back the Transgender Curtian
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Two days from now will be Transgender Day of Remembrance, which I am sad to
say that before this year, I knew nothing about. I just finished scrolling
thro...
10 years ago
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No Big Deal
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My daughter started high school last month.
The other night she told my wife and me that there's a transgender girl in
her homeroom. During the summer ...
10 years ago
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I finally legally exist!
-
On July 1st, 2014 it finally happened. The law that made it impossible for
me and many others like me to change their gender on any official documents
drop...
10 years ago
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A Controversial Stance On The Word “Queer”
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Controversial new video about the use of the word queer in the LGBT
community.
10 years ago
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8 Steps on How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back Immediately
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If you are trying to get your ex boyfriend back, but are fighting and get
no results, then you should know this is a common thing that tons of girls
go thr...
10 years ago
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Pigtails
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Last night as I was hugging Kegan good night, I started playing with her
hair and realized her hair is at that almost long enough to put into a
super short...
10 years ago
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She Returns
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Gee, that was a long time coming, wasn't it?
I managed to survive from February to July at the Good Samaritan House at
Westgate. This is a Christian-run fa...
10 years ago
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The Maker of Noses
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Like many of you, I enjoy music, and I look to it for inspiration and
support. My taste in music is quite eclectic, ranging from hymns through
jazz and roc...
10 years ago
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July 18th 2014
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I know I haven't posted in a long time, things have just gotten crazy
around here. We were finally able to get pregnant with our third, and
recently found...
10 years ago
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been proven wrong
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I have had many people walk in and out of my life. And a lot of them have
been anything but nice to me. Over the years most of my friend have turn
against...
10 years ago
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Tumor no more
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On January 8, 2012 I was informed that the fight to live was over, I would
not be getting my last Chemo treatment, all scans have no cancer traces in
them ...
10 years ago
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*I think it is time to completely let my fears of letting those who know me
in my life, but may not know 'me' now because I did what I needed to do for
my ...
10 years ago
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Vote for Sophia
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I'm running in a mock election and I need your votes. You might be asking
why I need your vote, and *how in the heck did I wind up in politics?* Well,
my...
10 years ago
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Keepin’ On
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When I was driving home from work this afternoon I started to think of this
blog and its lack of updates. I think the general trend is that when I
dress mo...
10 years ago
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A Question
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So, I've been doing this girl thing for a while now.
It's good, but there is some weirdness...
Has anyone else experienced this?
[Bumps into a doorjam, o...
10 years ago
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Day 105: Whiskey Aging… DONE!
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So after nearly 3 and a half months it’s done! I ended up with a bottle
and a half of sweet, dark whiskey. It’s amazingly easy to do. At this
point, I’m ...
10 years ago
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Sweeping the Ashes
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“Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody.”
“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems
don't rhyme...
10 years ago
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Another new chapter
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*or the next stop on the timeline...*
*Anyway, as some of you may remember, in a galaxy, far, far..wait, wrong
story.*
*I married my other half 13 years a...
10 years ago
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I'm coming out and I want the world to know...
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As the weeks went by I've became more and more emboldened with my
transition. I started buying more clothes, and started laser hair removal.
On Christmas...
10 years ago
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It has been too long since last I blogged
-
Yes, I know, more than two years have gone by, and some of you may be
wondering if all is well. YES! Everything remains wonderful. We've now been
happily m...
10 years ago
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It's "her's"
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I've been living as woman for two years now, two really good years. I was
and still am one of the lucky few. I have gone through this transition
without lo...
10 years ago
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Paula Deen Quote
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“I feel like ‘embattled’ or ‘disgraced’ will always follow my name. It’s
like that black football player who recently came out. He said, ‘I just
want to...
10 years ago
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Link to my daughter’s blog post
-
Here’s something my daughter posted today… Hexydezimal A fallen angel
returns. hexydezimal.wordpress.com Questions for the Transgender Community
Happy bela...
10 years ago
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Three Unwise Men
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Yet another bawbag is frothing at the mouth.
This latest cretinous oaf, a Russian actor of whom this reporter at least
has never heard, says he would "stuf...
11 years ago
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Hanging in, hanging out, hanging on
-
It has been a while since I have posted anything here. Up to this point, I
have maintained this blog as a combination of sporadic articles, and the
occasio...
11 years ago
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I Dreamed a Dream in Times Gone By...
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This past week has been especially difficult because of the second coming
out of 'Marcy' Michael's female alter gender identity. My strife is
entirely i...
11 years ago
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I've finally finshed what I started.
-
It's been quite a while since I've written. Again, not because there was
nothing to say. On the contrary, there's been plenty going on. I have
been una...
11 years ago
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Enough
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Originally posted on Nuclear Unicorn:
My approach to Cathy Brennan has long mirrored my approach to Ann Coulter;
I generally refuse to dignify their delibe...
11 years ago
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Ether Radio
-
Last Tuesday I took the day off work to run errands. Around 8:30 in the
morning I was sitting in my boyfriend's car by a gas pump. Peter was
inside colle...
11 years ago
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Transgender children: 3 British case studies
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I was recently asked to speak at the NSPCC about the issues trans children
face. As part of my talk I read out three case studies, published below.
All nam...
11 years ago
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Hatred, Transphobia & Twitter storms..
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I'm far from surprised that this has blown up like it has.. To be honest it
was only a matter of time, Trans people put up with an awful lot, I don't
want ...
11 years ago
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The Wedding and the Beach House
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It was a balmy June Saturday in Napa valley, California. The winery
Heather’s cousin Rosalind had chosen for the wedding was beautifully placed
amidst rol...
12 years ago
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Retrospect - Spring 2011 - The Highs and Low of being a TGirl
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Widemouth Bay, CornwallBy the spring of 2011 I felt that things were going
quite well and that with my new image I was well on the well to achieving
the g...
12 years ago
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Trans on TV, A Word Of Caution
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Since the airing of My Transsexual Summer and the enormous reaction it
caused, both in the trans community and the wider public I have been aware
of a numb...
12 years ago
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I suppose an introduction is in order...
-
I'm a woman living on the Left coast of America with a very much
appreciated spouse of over a decade and a half. We can usually be found
co-living our lif...
13 years ago
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A BLOG ON BLOGGER? OLDER POSTS FOUND BY LINK.
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After a flat out hectic two months I am sitting here with no pressing
commitments except perhaps to try and cure this terrible cough and sore
throat. In th...
15 years ago
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Reality TV
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I was reassembling the bike last weekend with radio 4 on drip-feed and
heard a piece about people who live a second life on the Internet. It
appears that f...
16 years ago
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Cobweb Corner - Older Blogs, Not Recently Updated
This is a phenomenal post, full of a lot of insight most people don't bother to tell prospective transitioners (I was certainly blind-sided by most of it). I agree with and can affirm about 90% of of this from my own experience, and the remaining 10% is likely just due to differing personal experiences.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, and thanks for sharing!
Your perspective on "stealth" may change after you are all done. You might come to understand it very differently than you do now.
ReplyDeleteIt is one thing to be on that side where so many people know your situation. It's another life completely when you are treated as a woman by everyone simply because they don't know your past. Try giving that up when it happens to you. After all, what is the goal of transition in the first place?
It's important to consider this before you start- from your post:
"I would also have real problems hiding the fact of who I really was..."
Who are you really? Answer that, and you'll see why "stealth" is the way people go in order to actually finish treating the problem.
I used to think the exact same way.
ReplyDeleteThen I woke up.
I must admit, with my transition getting further behind me, I value my privacy more than I once did. My friends are my friends, even those who know my history, but the last time I revealed my history to anyone (other than official people) is quite a while ago. When I meet new people, I am just me.
ReplyDeleteBeing honest with people would skew how they see me. They would suddenly have a picture of me that I don't even see myself any more, and it would undercut the whole purpose of my transition. As well, most of the time I don't think people really want to know, just as they don't want to know other details of my medical history.
" I can have all of that and actually be just as stealth as anyone who is in "deep stealth mode," but I will NEVER worry about being "outed." My world won't come to an end if at some point in my life someone somehow finds out that I am Transsexual. The greatest difference between me and someone who is “deep stealth” is that I won't live in constant fear of eventually being outed..." -Brittany
ReplyDeleteReally? And how is it that your "stealth" is different from "deep stealth"/ And why is it thaty believe that all your new friends that know you as the woman you are will not change their perscetion of you ir they were to learn of your history?
My main post was NOT about being stealth, but since my comments at the end mentioning stealthness have hit a nerve I will comment.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, let me say that I certainly never meant to insult anyone who is in 'deep stealth mode out there. Everyone is in their own particular situation. I know people who had SRS when they were in their late teens who have been stealth for years. They never had to even have electrolysis since they were on hormones at such a young age. There is NO WAY anyone would ever suspect them. These people are married and have even adopted children. Their entire lives depend on them keeping their stealthness -- and yes, they ARE terrified that something will out them and they will lose everything when that happens.
I also know people who are stealth on the job and if their employer or fellow employees found out they were TS they would lose their job. There lives also depend on remaining deep stealth -- and they too are terrified that somehow they will somehow be outed.
People who transition at young ages and can go stealth may eventually have all things I mentioned above - a job, friends, kids and even family who never knew they were TS. Of course they don't want to lose that stealthness because their lives depend on it. I fully understand this and wish them all the very best -- GOOD FOR THEM!
In my blog post, I was talking about MY particular case. I transitioned late in life. I was vested in my professional Government career and could not afford to lose my job and start over so late in life. I honestly thought that would happen when I had to transition and I was prepared to accept the consequences - but I was fortunate enough to keep my job. This allowed me to be able to afford to transition comfortably and properly. I am able to afford GRS, FFS, electrolysis and everything else I need to do to transition. I also will NOT be able to fully retire for at least 6 to 7 more years, meaning that at work I cannot be stealth even if I wanted to until after I retire and get another job - if I want one. (continued below)...
(continued from above)…
ReplyDeleteEventually I will be at a point where I can go fairly stealth at least. I say 'fairly stealth' because at my age I have too many people in my life who know about my transition. You transition at age 48 and you have a lot of people in your life who will know - unless you want to completely turn your back on them all and go "deep stealth" and create all new friends who only know you as female. I am NOT ashamed of who I am (and I NOT saying people who are 'deep stealth' ARE ashamed of who they are) and I don't want to lose the people in my life who stood by me during my transition - that is MY choice.
I may eventually have many friends who ONLY know me as a woman - and yes it would be sad if they somehow found out about my past and decided they wanted nothing to do with me -- I will just say "good riddance" to them, because if they have trouble with the fact I am TS I wouldn't want them in my life anyway.
For that matter, if I had friends who didn't know I was TS and I found out they didn't like TS people I wouldn't want to be around them either.
Stealthness would be very nice to some degree in my life - but my life will NEVER depend on me having to be stealth like the people I mentioned earlier whose lives depend on that stealthness. There is NO NEED for ME to worry about it like so many others have to. I spent 48-years hiding who I was -- and that is longer than some people I know who are 'deep stealth' have even lived.
Again, I understand that some people's lives DEPEND on them being in 'deep stealth' mode. Mine does not - thank God! I would HATE to have to live with that kind of pressure at this point in my life.
When I wrote what I did about stealthness in my blog, I was talking about MY particular situation -- I was NOT passing judgment on people who are deep stealth at all! Everyone's situation is different based on where they are in their lives when they transition.
And whatever your particular situation is -- I wish you only the VERY best!
Brittany
Very insightful and thoughts I can concur with in my transition. There's some major differences between who transition early and those who transition later. The more history one has as the other sex the harder any semblance of a stealth life is going to be.
ReplyDeleteObviously the goal is to just been seen and understood as a woman and not a trans anything. But that is not always a reality for everyone. Is trying to run away from one's past worth the sacrifices of losing those who know and still love and accept us? Maybe if one didn't have many friends and family to begin with it would be easier.
There are a lot of compromises one has to make when transitioning later in life. We each have to weigh the realities of our own situations and feel our way through. What is vitally important to one doesn't make it the universal truth for all.
Great post
Same to you Brittany, same to you.
ReplyDeleteI don't think you are quite grasping what some of us are saying. We aren't feeling insulted or challenged by your opinions on "stealth". Some of us are trying to say keep an open mind, because you are going to learn a lot- if you let yourself.
ReplyDeleteIf you keep a closed mind about the idea of "stealth", you'll never understand why "stealth", the concept, doesn't really exist outside the musings of people on the "out and proud" side of trans. It's really just living. And there are no half measures when it comes to living. You tried that before transition, and how did that go? It's the same on the others side of transition.
It's not a happy place to be when you constant reminders that you are not "really a woman". It eats at you. It stains your soul.
The only people who might possibly be able to fully accept you are people who are very close, like a spouse who knows the real you, or maybe close family members. And often they are the most adamant and unchangeable of all. Quite a paradox.
Give it a few years before you decide to be permanently out. Selective "outness" isn't really possible, that's what things like the internet really do. Other than that, its not really the impediment to being undisclosed that people make it out to be. And you may just find like us much easier and more pleasant without all the baggage. After all isn't that the point of transition?
I'd like to add to what Aria wrote...
ReplyDeleteThis isn't about "deep stealth" at all. In fact, there really isn't such a thing as deep stealth and hasn't been for years. The Internet has done away with it. This is really about living an honest and authentic life. I'm not "stealth" anything. I'm just Lisa. It would be the same if I was a breast cancer survivor. Do I walk around wearing it on my sleeve, grabbing every passerby and sharing my story? Would I have the audacity to even think that? And would they even care?
I suggest reconsidering your feelings and thoughts on the entire subject of "trans". I'll paraphrase Aria, "...then what is the purpose of transition...?"
Take the red pill...
Lisalee :-)
I have to disagree with the comment in the post about those transexuals who are in deep stealth are in constant fear about being outed.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, you dont know all deep stealth transsexuals so you can't speak for them.
While there are defintely challenges during transition, I think your post helps to continue to perpetuate fears how you'll lose everything etc.
Everyone who transitions is different and will have different experiences... My transition experience has not been anything like you describe....
As Lisa said, take the red pill.
Another thought is that you're so focused on the changed aspects of your life with regard to transition.
ReplyDeleteBut, guess what? Life is about change whether a person transitions or not. Relationships change over time regardless if you transition or not.
Jobs come and go; marriages blossom and decay; you're young and then old.
I have to say I am tired of hearing people who are transition focus on all the change, the fear of changes they don't want.
Your underlying theme is that change is bad and it's not. It's nether good nor bad... it just is.
The trick is how much baggage are you going to attach to that change. How much will you let your life be controlled by the fear of change or loss....
In my menial work, I often come in contact with men who would love to transition but are racked with fear about what that means or there are some other excuses they think are valid that prevents them from beginning transition.
Quit this fear mongering... shit! Let's hear more on how to cope with the changes and how to deal with it effectively instead of running around whining...
I don't understand this "red pill" thing.
ReplyDeleteWatch the Matrix. It is an uncanny view of the nature of reality if you don't look at it literally.
ReplyDeleteOh, OK. I saw The Matrix when it first came out and liked it, but I was never a big fan, so I have forgotten the details. Thus, I'd have to look up what the red pill even does.
ReplyDeleteWikipedia to the rescue! I get it now. Red pill all the way. I think that's always been true for me.
ReplyDeleteI dislike, however, whenever someone says they've found a way that works for them and then claims it's the way that works for everyone. Like the "one true way." And anyone who disagrees must be taking the blue pill (or drinking the kool-aid, in another variant).
"There are a lot of compromises one has to make when transitioning later in life. We each have to weigh the realities of our own situations and feel our way through. What is vitally important to one doesn't make it the universal truth for all." Teri
ReplyDeleteVery well said, Teri. Brilliant.
I think there is a fundamental difference between those that transition with their life before them and those that are in the declining years of their lives. I am 56, I have an entire family, parents, sisters, 4 children. I am a well respected member of my profession. Worst of all I will be the first transwoman in my profession in my province. Stealth is not an option, and as Britanny said I have hidden for so long that I am not willing to do it again. I realize this is not right for everyone. There is no fundamental debate here. And I do not think that this is what the article implies.
ReplyDelete