Do you need to identify at all?

I have never been one for labels but seeing many discussions, and sometimes arguments, about the trans communities identity and place in the world has got me looking inward for the first time in ages. I have been blown away by how much joy and relief was oozing from my new found freedom that I had not really bothered to think what it all actually meant. It is a complex maze of definitions, language, privilege, acceptance and entitlement. To many of my readers who are not so informed on trans-speak there is an ever spiralling argument of what are we? Where do trans individuals fit into society and, more importantly, do we actually switch genders. What about all the trans people who do not identify as male or female? Can we claim to be a woman or a man?


 
This is a rather lengthy, but well thought out post, from Faith.  It's about identity.  How we identify ourselves and how others may identify us.  Do you need to identify at all?, is well worth reading.

Thoughts on Passing

It was a bit of an epiphany to realize that actually passing for a cis-woman is not something I particularly desire. It would require both internal and external deception. I don’t want that. I want to be pretty, and feminine, and desirable, and cute, but I don’t want to be something I’m not.



This is a post from Katie Robbins on the Crossdresser Heaven site.  Interesting thoughts on passing.

Why Am I Trans?

When you stop and think about it being trans is like anyone else with a disability, we all face discrimination of one type or other. I wouldn’t wish being trans on anyone, it is not fun and it is definitely not a choice or lifestyle.


From one of the most prolific bloggers listed on T-Central....Diana's take on Why Am I Trans.

Explaining Gender Dysphoria

Lisa Mullin, a transgender woman, explores the nature of gender dysphoria or that deep sense of discomfort and suffering that may come from living in a body and a social role that does not match your inner sense of self.




What a wonderful article, by guest writer Lisa Mulin, on Jack Molay's great CrossDreamers site.  This is absolutely a must read for everyone.  Lisa tries to explain, based on her own experiences and understanding, just what gender dysphoria is.  For those who are trans, you will be nodding your head in agreement.  For those who are cis....well, it might help you to better understand what most of us have gone through since childhood.

In my opinion, and based on my own life experience, Lisa has nailed it, in her article, Explaining Gender Dysphoria.

how I developed my female voice

I don't plan to make many videos but I thought I would this one in order to explain how I developed my female voice.



Oh my, my!  Perfecting the voice is, perhaps, one of the most difficult transitions for any MtF.  I am so impressed with Joanna because she has nailed it!  In this post, you can hear her female and her male voice.....both with that sexy French Canadian accent!   How I developed my female voice, is a short read with a short but remarkable audio track.

Hair, Meet Humidity

Oh. My. God.
 
This is hair you measure by its wingspan.
 
We are talking Southern-Belle-Closer-To-Heaven hair.

 

 

 

 

It's been so long since we've featured our girl, Cass!  This one is just a short thing about humidity and hair, featuring a side order of Cass's unique humor.

 

That red hair, btw, that Cass is describing, still looks fab to me.  I met Cass in a diner outside of Boston for lunch one day and I must say that her beautiful red hair is for real.  What a lucky girl! 

Read about it and see the pictures in, Hair, Meet Humidity.

I didn’t transition just to live in fear

Woman wears dress to work on promise of warm, sunny weather. Happens all the time, right? It’s unremarkable, really.

Except this was only the second time I’d ever worn a dress to work and I’m still in the low tens around the total number of times I’ve ever worn a dress in public. That’s what makes this remarkable in the sense of being worth remarking about.


So why hasn't Heather been wearing dresses?  How did it go on her second time ever wearing a dress to work?  Heather has a lot to say on both questions in, I didn’t transition just to live in fear.

On coming out and Choices

Coming out to those close to me is where the story becomes more dramatic.  I came out to my wife two weeks later.  We actually had the discussion in the therapist's office, and the therapist proved to be a big help. 




Both Rebecca and Aleana wrote posts about coming out.  The comments, above, are from Rebecca's post.  The comments, below, are from Aleana's post.

I have been trans all my life, I told my ex-to-be wife in 2006. That was one hell of a bomb dropped in her lap and caused a few issues. She over the years did not handle it well. When i told my sisters, they turned out to be Transphobic. They made a few bad choices as in outing me to others without my permission. They told my Oldest Daughter in the US. BY doing this they destroyed my chance of telling her in a kind gentle way that could have eased the impact. 

Two different coming out comments.  Two different results.  Both stories however, ends up on the positive side.  If you're considering outing yourself to friends and family, read On coming out..It does get better, from Rebecca, and Choices, from Aleana.

18 months post-op

It is unbelievable that time can go so quickly, but two days ago I found myself realising that I had had my surgery eighteen months ago. It seemed an insignificant milestone at the time, I nearly didn't realize it occurred, but on reflection it was more important than I realized.



An excellent post from Lucy....her reflections of being 18 months post-op.  Note that Lucy does have a content warning on this post.  

Sparkle Weekend 2016

Sparkle may not be for everyone but it certainly has its place in our community and you can not deny the fun involved. It is great for first timers and veterans alike and the array of different people is spellbinding.




Are there any trans folks in the UK who haven't attended a Sparkle event?

I remember a blog authored by a good friend in Scotland.  It was a well known blog which peaked around 2007-2008.  I had followed her for some time.  In the beginning, she would write about living at home with her stash hidden in the attic.  I distinctly remember a post she wrote, complete with lots of pictures, of her first time out which was at the Sparkle event.  It was at this event that she realized who and what she really was.....not a crossdresser but a transsexual.  A few years later, she transitioned and is now living a happy and completely new life.

The point here is that there are many stories like this from those, whether crossdressers or emerging transsexuals, who had their first experience meeting others who are like minded at Sparkle.
Those in the UK are so lucky to have such an event.  Here, in Northern California, the River City Gems also hold a Sparkle event.  It's a formal dinner party, largely attended by trans folks from all over California.  It's interesting to note that the Northern California Sparkle has its roots in the UK Sparkle.  The original idea came from one of the founding Gems' members who used to live in the UK and was a member of the Angels, which I believe sponsor the UK Sparkle.

With all of that said, Faith has a really nice write up, complete with lots of pictures, about her experience at Sparkle Weekend 2016.

The Journey

I never wanted to take this trip
But of choices I had so few
The one I chose not to take
Leaves me writing this to you.






The Journey, from Christen, brought tears to my eyes.  I'm sure you will shed a few too.

Ask Hannah!

Finally, after 31 years of marriage, I sat down with my wife and told her about “my other side”. We have been struggling with this gorilla ever since. She is not totally accepting and definitely not supportive, but we struggle along, playing catch up for the many years of secrecy. I realized that she went through all the trials and fears as your wife, but in a very short time. I let her absorb all this at her own pace and do not try to force the issue. But the future is definitely not a clear path.





We haven't featured an Ask Hannah for awhile.  In this one, Claire's question revolves around her relationship with her wife.  Hannah, as usual, has some sound advice for Claire.

My Return and First Time Out… again

And then we planned on finding time to get together.  It was coming together so well.  I couldn’t have asked for anything more.  The trans community is the greatest and most loving community on Earth, there are no better people around.




We ARE the greatest and most loving community on Earth!!  Alexis Alexandra (gosh, are we related?) talks about her Return and First Time Out....again.  

This is a new blog listing on T-Central, with thanks to Lynn Jones.

Quiz

1 You are sat in a bar and a total stranger asks you why you are wearing a dress.  Do you….





Just a lighthearted Quiz, from Bobbysox.....

The Seductiveness of Masculinity

I’m envious of the trans men with square jaws and beards. I’m envious when someone I know starts testosterone and moves past me on the transition line. I’m ashamed to admit that I place a value on how masculine appearing they are. I know this is misogynist, but it happens. I feel left behind. Fortunately, once we start talking I start listening and I stop looking.



The Seductiveness of Masculinity is a really well written blog post, by Jamie Ray.  MtF or FtM....it's well worth reading.  

If you read Clare Flourish's Beta Male post, featured a couple of days ago, and understand her definition of a beta male, then you might understand why this post could also be titled, Alpha Female.

Facebook partner support group and partner issues

In general it is a really supportive and informative group with some very interesting topics of conversation and many very relevant to me. All posts get quite a few responses even if it is just people giving moral support as well as first hand experiences. Actually one person made a comment the other day which really struck a chord with me; "I mean, I'm OK with it but I miss that bloke like crazy". Ha, yes I really get that but I'm not sure that I ever really knew 'that bloke'! 


Just as I try to read the blogs from transmen, as a way to feel their pain and their joy, I also like to read the posts from the partners and spouses of those who are trans.  In this case, one of our regular bloggers, A Morgan, has written a blog post about a Facebook support group she participates in, as the partner of someone who is transitioning.

There's a lot in this post.  The comment, below, certainly caught my attention:
 
This week alone two partners of different transgendered people (one MTF and the other FTM) have posted within days of each other on the same group about their partners pushing them away, their partners being told by other people in the trans community to ditch their spouses, being told that they are hindering the transition and accused of not being as readily accepting as their trans partners expect them to be.

That comment so surprised me.  As someone who is trans and believes so strongly in not only love, marriage, and family, but also the extreme need of a supporting spouse, I just found it hard to believe.  

If all of this has your attention, there's more at Facebook partner support group and partner issues.

beta male

If you are considering transition, I would not go as far as to say Don’t- but ask yourself, “Am I a beta male? Can I enjoy that, and not transition?”




A Beta Male?  I had never heard the expression.  Leave it to Clare to discuss the subject in detail in an interesting post.

Transgender population doubled! Where does your state rank?

The method that the William Institute used to get these new figures came from extracting data from a national CDC survey. There are no national  polls asking about transgender/cisgender status so the newest estimate is that, just an estimate.


I have two comments:

1 - The "known" population may have doubled, but my take is that the actual TG population, relative to overall population, is just as it has always been since the beginning of time. Well, perhaps it's higher than thousands of years ago, due to drugs such as DES.  Neverless, whatever our population really is, it's still much higher than any current survey numbers show.

2 - It was no surprise that my state, California, ranked #2 (actually, I expected to see Cali as number 1).  The surprise, however, was the state ranked at #1.  To find out which one, well you're just going to have to go over to Planet Transgender to find out.