Christy Martins' last post, which was featured a couple of days ago on T-Central, has resulted in 33 comments so far. As usual, the opinions vary, and that's good because it makes for lively discussion and entertaining reading. While we at T-Central generally feature blog posts, I don't believe we have ever featured a comment, until now. Lori, the founder of T-Central, filed a comment to this post. It's well thought out and worth sharing with our Community.
I'm sorry, but the recent videotaped beating of a trans woman in a Baltimore McDonald's brings this issue even more to light, especially since so many make it a bathroom issue.
To use a quote from Jenny Boylan that she said yesterday in her own response to the attack:
"So this woman beaten in Baltimore? Do you think the perpetrators paused to consider whether she was a "woman of transsexual history" or a drag queen, or a cross dresser, or a "pagan intersex princess" or whatever other identifier she came up with for herself? Seriously? Why do I stand with ALL trans people, regardless of history? This is why."
I can't help but agree with this wholeheartedly. Who says that a post-op transsexual woman should be the ONLY trans person to ever step inside a bathroom. I remember when I first started going out and presenting as my authentic self there were too many occurrences where others took notice I was a trans person and made rude comments towards me. The bathroom issue was one of the worst things I had to deal with...for God's sake, I just needed to pee!
As time went on and my presentation and voice was more in line with my female mind, I simply could no longer use the men's restroom. It got to the point where one day I was dressed (I like the term "cross-dressed" here) as a male on a trip to California to see family and I had to use a rest area restroom. I was nearly beat up when the men saw me as a female at first then realized I was a trans woman in their bathroom. My son and I were nearly victimized because of this very kind of panicked hatred.
Yes, I have to agree with Boylan - when does one finally get a "pass" to use a restroom of their gender presentation and why should only "true" or "classic" transsexuals get an unfettered hall pass to the ladies' room?
I have many post-op transsexual friends in my life. Many of them were unable to remove some markedly male features from the ravaging effects testosterone had on their body. Yet even though they get called names and are put down on an almost daily basis by mean spirited people, they live their lives to the best of their ability. I stand with them, and I stand with those women who are just trying to find a place to pee.
No, WE need to come together and stop all this bitching so that those who don't understand us will see that we stand, or sit...together.
We are an angry bunch, that's true. But the world is a terrible, violent place for those outside the (passable) gender binary.
Read more about this horrible beating and act of hate, here and here.
I get so emotional when I run into a very young transitioner. I have met some young transitioners and I've shared emails with others. When I talk with them, I see so much of myself at that age.
Such is the case with a blog I found today. Trans in Distress is written by a 15 year old Brazilian MtF, in English rather than her native language. Her grammar may not be perfect, but this girl has done her homework and gets her thoughts across nicely.
Trans in Distress is a fairly new blog. Check out Siul's My Story post.
I often write of the importance of friends in the life of someone who is trans. Without my close friends, I would be in a world of hurt. I've found that my trans friends are the best friends I've ever had....friends I can share my most private and intimate thoughts with. They are real friends. Friends I can laugh with. Friends I can cry with.
In her latest post, Bree writes about friends, or the lack thereof. It's such a typical story for someone who is trans. Can't relate to men and, as someone presenting as a male, can't be true friends with a woman, as in woman-to-woman.
While I may not be making myself clear, Bree is quite clear about her thoughts in her post, No Real Friends.