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Friday, June 17, 2011

Do Our Brains Ever Lie To Us?

Robyn, a crossdresser, ponders...

But all I see in the photo is a beautiful woman.  Shouldn't I see a man in a dress?  Why don't I see a man in a dress? 

Go to, Do our brains ever lie to us?, to explore the subject with Robyn.

Note that Robyn's blog has a content warning come up when you enter the site, advising that the site "may contain content only suitable for adults".  This post, however, contains nothing that I would consider objectionable.


  1. This is very interesting. I wonder if it's indicative of the differences between us.

    Back in the day, I desperately wanted to see a beautiful woman in the mirror. Heck, forget about beautiful. Just a woman. All I saw were the physical flaws that were the result of having been born male-bodied. No amount of finery and makeup could ever make that go away. I knew I had to change my body, not what I wore on it.

    My brain was all too honest!

  2. I agree with Ariel. I struggled to see beyond the masculine features on my body that were the result of twenty something years of testosterone doing their dirty deed in my body. I still occasionally get the feeling that I look male, but those thoughts are fleeting and I'm glad that I now see "the reflection of who I am inside!"

    Word captcha: carboot. LMAO!

  3. @Ariel - I wonder if it's indicative of the differences between us.

    Ya think? Could it really be that simple?

    As I have often said, I virtually never crossdress. Probably less than 5 times in my life from head to toe, excluding my pre-teens, when I did it daily. The reason is two-fold:

    1 - All I see is a man in female garb.

    2 - And, more importantly, I know what is underneath the female garb and that just brings on depression.

    I envy the crossdressers. They can just turn it on and turn it off, on demand. I can never turn it off...


  4. And some of us avoid mirrors altogether.

  5. Interesting comment. What do you make of this...

    " I contend that the opposite of "man" is not "woman" but "not man". The opposite of "male" is not "female" but "not male". If a person is not a man, that does not mean that the person is a woman but a "not man". The people who are "not men" certainly include all women but it would also include anyone who is "not woman". ~Robyn

  6. @Anne:

    Who are you addressing?

  7. Initially, Ariel. But I would welcome as many thoughts as possible. I mean, I could see this a s aove towards a 3rd gender. Although perhap Robyn is looking for a "3rd sex"

  8. I realized after rereading that Robyn referred to photos, not mirrors. If anything, I have a worse time with photos. I'm reaonsably sure I look better in person than I do in pictures. Now, at least, I can sometimes be happy with the right picture. Early in transition, not a chance.

  9. We see what we want to see.

    Cross dressers see a "beautiful woman" after they adorn their frocks and wigs because this is their fantasy.

    Some transsexual women look very feminine in every aspect and yet their brain will tell them the mirror is reflecting male attributes. No matter how much positive influence they get from their surroundings.

    I liken it to this: An obese person whom has lived most of their life over weight finally loses it all and becomes the person whom they always wanted to be. And yet, their brain still sees an over weight person due to low self esteem or what ever the case. While other over weight people feel they are more attractive having the extra pounds and sees themselves as skinny.

    Some of what we see is due to fantasy while other times it is due to confidence.

    We see what we want to see.

  10. @Trans Woman

    Some see what they want to see, but not all. If I could see what I wanted to see, I would see beauty! Not to mention my lost youth. :)


    I have thought before that there are some male-bodied people who transition not to female but to not-male. They don't actually reach female, but they eschew male. Not a place I'd want to be, but maybe it works for some.

  11. These are your TG, Ariel. Let's be honest..."passing", has its "privilege".

    I am not speaking of beauty here. I am speaking of authenticity, and the confidence which come from being concruent in body and soul.

  12. Lying implies one knows the real truth and seeks to deceive or hide it from others. However, there's plenty of merit to the idea that we might deceive ourselves and others because of our need to sooth our conscience for our actions.

    Our truths are often subject to our need for justification. This can make us blind to differing perceptions creating a friction between two opposing views.

    To paraphrase Wiki: Self deception dismisses the relevance and significance of opposing evidence and logical argument. It involves convincing oneself of a truth (or lack of truth) so that one does not reveal any self-knowledge of the deception.

    A lot of rationalization comes with claiming a truth not in evidence. Personal bias, fear, socialization and many other factors can all influence reason.

    Claiming one knows the truth is a common narcissistic trait. Follow me and you will learn the truth. ha ha ;o) -choke-cough-

  13. @Anne, No, I am not looking for a "3rd sex" but rather looking at the sexes differently. I am proposing that man and woman are not opposites. They are just different. Being "less" of a man does not mean that one is necessarily "more" of a woman. "Less" of a man also does not mean "not a man". More to come on this!

  14. This comment has been removed by the author.

  15. "I envy the crossdressers. They can just turn it on and turn it off, on demand. I can never turn it off..."

    Pray, do tell, Calie. Who are "the crossdressers" you so readily envy, and describe? What is it about their obviously unnatural ability you envy so much? What be their names, so we may harass them and learn their secrets?

    I, for one, do wonder. Because I have heard of this group twice now. Is it a pop group? A congenial gathering of men in skirts? What is this group, "the crossdressers"? I fear I haven't heard of it beyond two casual mentions.

  16. LOL.

    Calie, I read your comment the other day, and I thought to myself, "oh no... Calie has used The.Two.Words.That.Must.Never.Be.Juxtaposed., and wondered when the comment immediately preceding this one was going to be posted. And sure enough, I wasn't disappointed.

    To see what I'm talking about, go here.

  17. Moreover, read the comments on the linked blog entry.

  18. I'm so glad you found my comment entertaining, Teagan. As you know, the transsexuals, transitioned or not, always find it amusing to casually denigrate the crossdressers. How else, I ask, can the transsexuals ensure their superiority?


  19. Oh, you should have saved your fellow transsexuals the trouble of wading through the justifications of your various supporters and summarized: I objected to a casual insult ("the crossdressers") and Teagan and Co. had a jolly good giggle. It all culminated with Natasha telling me I was playing the victim.

    Unfortunately you'll have to go elsewhere to find where Teagan also proves that she judges the crossdressers by their physical attributes. Such as their arms.

    By the way, Teagan, you never did answer my question: are all crossdressers the same? Are they a heterogeneous bunch? (You might need a dictionary for that word, by the way.) Do all crossdressers have the same habits and are basically indistinguishable? "I dunno," she said, "all the crossdressers look the same to me!" (Giggle, giggle, no doubt.)

    Oh well. At least no one can mistake the transsexuals for such a bunch! Goodness me, no.

  20. @ Teagan: LOL! That's what I thought, too!

    @ Carolyn Ann: Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought that you had lost interest?

    Dani xxx

  21. Okay, now I'm insulted by Carolyn-Ann's use of "the transsexuals." He obviously holds transsexual women (although "the transsexuals" also includes transsexual men and so I might imagine they are insulted as well) in nothing but contempt as he has demonstrated repeated both in comments here and on his blog. He's proven himself a bigot by his own definition of the word through his repeated attacks against transsexual women. He throws out casual accusations and plays the victim when it is quite obvious that he is the aggressor in these attacks.

    When will this nonsense end?

  22. How about "when people realize that phrases like the crossdressers is offensive?"

    And that instead of whining about someone being offended, try apologizing and saying something like "I meant to say I was envious of some crossdressers, such as those who seem to be able to turn their (whatever it is Calie is envious of) on and off at will."

    The crossdressers, I will remind you, Natasha, Teagan and Calie, are not one big group. There is a community of people that includes transgendered individuals, crossdressers and others of varying personal identification. Like all groups that are comprised of individuals, each has their own personality, attributes and so on. Would you argue that "the blacks" are all the same? Or "the Jews"? How about "the Jews support bombing and killing Palestinians"?

    How about not creating an artificial group and denying the individuality of the members of that group? Calie feels envious of "the crossdressers", huh? All crossdressers? Because they can all turn this thing she's envious of, on and off at will? Because all crossdressers obviously don't struggle with gender? After all, if they can switch it on and off at will, it must be a conscious decision to indulge in that lifestyle. What if even one member of that group makes a choice you disagree with, Natasha? What then? Do they get classified as one of "the crossdressers" because it's easier for you and Teagan to think of a group of people as an object?

    How about it will end when people stop echoing the language of Southern racists? How about not echoing the phrases of the religiously righteous, with their blanket pronouncements about the sins of crossdressers and their ilk?

    When will it end? When it becomes apparent that treating a group of people as an object is offensive. How about it ending then?

  23. Anonymous: As you're an anonymous coward, I won't bother supplying you with an explanation.

    Basically, If you can't figure it out, I'm not going to assist you.

  24. CA - Who has been attacking cross dressers? Who? Who is out there saying all kinds of bigoted and hateful things? Who is saying they are better than anyone else? You keep saying that, but you never really say anything more than people are bigoted for using a generality. That argument, as are most of your arguments, are simply ridiculous. And not because I do not think you do not feel slighted by being included in a generality. I'm sure you feel insulted. Heck, I'm sure you felt insulted when New Jersey elected Christie governor and the news said that "The People of New Jersey" spoke. Because that means, of course, that you are included in that number even though I imagine you were not one of his supporters.

    Every generality does not imply bigotry or contain an insult.

    Oh, and who is talking about the "sins of the crossdressers"? Seriously. Who is out there attacking any cross dresser for being a cross dresser in this community? You'll come back that TS women who seek to separate from the TG umbrella are bigots and are nasty in their tone to cross dressers. But you miss the bigger picture because you are set in a victim mentality that allows you to cast judgement on everyone because you felt slighted by a generality.

    So when you go attacking me by saying that I have made some blanket statement about anyone, I am personally insulted because you are personally attacking me. If you speak in generalities about TS women and men, I do not take it personally or feel insulted because I am enough of an individual that I do not need to walk around feeling slighted. When people say that "the Jews" do anything as a group, I may make a mental note about them (even people who use "the Jews" repeated as examples of a group that has been abused), but I'm not going to run around screaming that I demand satisfaction to all four corners of this very small arena.

    You say I classify a group of people as an object and yet I never have. When have I ever even written about cross dressers? The fact is, I'm not a member of that community (can I say that or is that just me being a bigot by implying there is a community of cross dressers?) and I don't write about them. Not because I think I'm better or that they are somehow not as good as me. But because I can't speak to what it means to be a cross dresser.

    But you don't really care about being right, do you? You just like to fly off the handle and if someone bothers to call you on a mistake, you recant. Mea Culpa. Mea Maxima Maxima Culpa. I'm sure you'll comb through my blog to find some evidence that I have been what I say I am not and when you find no evidence you'll issue some kind of apology. Heck, you've already called me a zealot and then recanted.

    Now I'm sure you'll respond and make a disparaging remark about Teagan or Dana or anyone else who you haunt with your holier-than-thou diatribes. You'll probably, once again, say something factually incorrect about me because, in your mind, I am one of "the transsexuals" that you are at war with. Admit it.

  25. I'm closing comments to this post.

    I'm sure all of us can debate the subject on our own blogs...including myself.



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