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Thursday, December 5, 2019

Shifting Sands

I read these articles with two sets of eyes. The first were my medical eyes: was this the sort of thing that, as a doctor, would be helpful for me to read? The answer is clearly yes. The second were my transgender eyes: was this the sort of thing that, as a trans person myself, I would want doctors to read and know? The answer is also a clear yes. There is no doubt that transgender people are becoming more and more visible; their care has been, in the main, not that great; most doctors have very little training in care of transgender people, and reliable resources for doctors to draw upon are few.

If you're like me, someone who is always trying to learn more about the science of being trans, you may want to read this post, from Vivienne.  She found a magazine in her hospital with some really good articles.  Best of all, it's all on the Web, for us to read.  You can find the link, and a review, in Vivienne's post, Shifting Sands.

Wednesday, December 4, 2019

Meeting Your Heroes

Cocktail Dress 1I think about how in the closet I am, despite how often I go out and how active I am online, not only with my website but with Twitter and Flickr as well.  I think about how much this side of me is a secret and how some of my closest friends have no idea (as far as I know) about Hannah.

What a fabulous blog post, from Hannah.  This one is all about coming out and just how difficult it is to do so.  Oh, do I relate to this.  Sometimes the person you've come out to will embrace you (check).  Sometimes you'll be rejected (check).   The title, Meeting Your Heroes, may appear not to have anything to do with post, but it all comes together in the end.

Monday, December 2, 2019

The Art of Disclosure

To disclose, or not disclose, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler on the first date to be silent. To keep quiet and learn about each other, or take a moment to be out there early...

Good post, from Joanne.  To disclose or not to disclose.....that you are trans.

Sunday, December 1, 2019

Perhaps blue is not just for boys?

.......are those who don’t know me assigning a gender by virtue of my name?  Especially by new correspondents, who haven’t met me yet?  They may get a bit of a shock if we eventually meet!

Mandy's given name, which I'm assuming is not Mandy, is a name used by both genders.  Seems like some in Mandy's neighborhood email group are assuming the wrong gender for this male crossdresser.  The post includes a nice picture of the girl in blue standing next to her sweet, heritage blue ride.

Saturday, November 30, 2019

Ex Wives

Over the years, I have two ex wives (one is deceased) one ex fiance, long gone since before I joined the Army and a partner (Liz) who I have been around for over eight years now.

In a short post, from Cyrsti, she writes on a subject I seldom see discussed in T-Blogs.....Ex-Wives.

Friday, November 29, 2019


It doesn’t matter how far down the gender thing journey you are there are always those moments when you just wonder what next and loosing our way a little.

In another wonderfully written post, that so many can relate to, Hannah writes about losing her way in the gender journey.   She ends up, however, discussing some things she wants to do and the places she wants to visit when she has reached the end of the journey.

Thursday, November 28, 2019

Made an Appointment

Yes Stephie did it! She made her first appointment for an.......

Stephie did it!  Go here to find out what she did.

We Are Being Erased.

We are being systematically erased from the government websites… one page at a time.

Diana is referring to the USA government websites.  I often wonder if things would be different if an elected official or any transphobic person had a son or daughter who came out as trans.  More, here, from Diana.  Thanks to Caroline for pointing out this post.

Wednesday, November 27, 2019

A Quick Shout out to everyone

I just want to put a quick thank you out there to everyone who reads my corner of the internet.

Jessie is just giving a shout-out to everyone.  T-Central can echo that.

Saturday, November 23, 2019

Quite the experience

You don't have to be trans to be an ally. You don't have to fully understand what it might be to be somewhere on the trans spectrum. You don't need to know anyone who is trans. You don't have to have questioned your gender. You just need to care and to stand up when you hear bigotry. Thoughts lead to words, words lead to actions, and actions lead to consequences.

That's such a powerful paragraph, above, from Lynn.  In this post, Quite the experience, Lynn reflects on Transgender Day of Remembrance.

Friday, November 22, 2019

I attended Transgender Day of Remembrance ceremonies yesterday at the senior center I go to. Celebrated were the lives of 'transcestors' such as Marsha P. Johnson, Storme DeLaverie, Leslie Feinberg,  Christine Jorgensen, and Sylvia Rivera.

It's nice to see some of the pioneers celebrated as well as honoring the lost lives of 22 of our sisters.  This is a short post from one of our longest bloggers.

Thursday, November 21, 2019

Gender euphoria through singing

Being able to have such a huge range in my singing voice (and do it well) is such a euphoric thing for me. It is probably one of the biggest signs that I’m nonbinary because I love hitting the low, rumbly notes and I love singing way up high above even the tenor range.

It's so nice to see one of our bloggers so happy and having fun.  Go here for the short post.

Monday, November 18, 2019

Two Years!!

It’s now been two years Kandi’s Land has been up and running. I frankly could never have dreamed I could keep going for this long. Without the feedback I get, I’d have shut the whole thing down, but apparently this place means something to a few wonderful people out there. So on we go!

Here's a shout-out to Kandi for 2 years of almost daily blogging!

Sunday, November 17, 2019

Gender confirmation surgery yield long-term mental health benefits for transgender people

The science is solid: For the great majority of trans people who undergo gender confirmation surgery, the operation leads to a better quality of life.

Go here for the post and a link.

Saturday, November 16, 2019

Medical stuff

I had blood work done for my HRT meds for the first time in a couple of years.  No money- no medicine. I've been on hormones since December 10, 2012. Not that I remember the date or anything.  For the past several years, when available, I've been on estrogen injections.

Long time blogger, Sophie, shares the results of her recent hormone levels, and it's not all good.  She's sharing this to help others, and that's what I love about Sophie.  It's all under control now, but for any of you who haven't seen a doctor lately or are self-medicating, this post is for you.  Thanks, Sophie, for sharing.

Friday, November 15, 2019

Homophobic transition

Does anyone transition male to female because of homophobia? Yes.

Clare has assembled some interesting thoughts on the subject of Homophobic Transition.  You'll have to read the post to see why her answer to the question, above, is yes.  

Wednesday, November 13, 2019

I Am a Rock

Her rejection of me was absolutely devastating. Much later I would come to realize, that both women were rejecting me, because I could never even hope to be the man they they wanted me to be. I wanted to be their lesbian lover, but how does someone in male form, make love to a woman as a lesbian? How can you even tell them that? Its impossible.

I've been thinking of Melissa as of late.     She was such a beloved blogger with so many friends in the blog world.  Our dearest Melissa passed away in September, 2011.  Her posts were fun and sometimes emotional.  I AM a Rock is one of her very emotional posts.  Melissa may be gone, but with posts like this one, she will continue to help many who are trying to find themselves.

Oh and do go to Melissa's final post and read the many tribute comments at the end.

Monday, November 11, 2019

That’s what friends are for

In my previous, male, life, it was expected I would bear my burden in silence – I’d just “soldier on”. Asking for help was seen as a sign of weakness. Today, being perceived as a woman, I’m not bound by that convention. I can ask for help and support. And I have done just that.

Cat opens the door to her past life in the early 60's.  It was a life of physical and verbal abuse.  Now, she feels comfortable talking and writing about it.

Must see pro-transgender video

You really have to watch it, as it portrays trans and other LGBTQA people as real people, loved and respected by family and friends. I love it!

It's a one and a half minute commercial, from Sprite and Coca Cola, but much worth watching   Thanks to Jack Molay for posting.

Sunday, November 10, 2019

It's All in a Name

Connie brought up an interesting point about responding, or not, to one's old "dead name."

Now here's a topic I have not seen much in blogs.  When you transition, you almost always have a name change, unless you had a name that goes both ways (like Chris).  So how do you respond when you hear your "dead" name called?  Cyrsti has some interesting comments on that subject and name selection.

Saturday, November 2, 2019

Tucking for comfort and a feminine silhouette

Don’t judge. But she’s not trying, she does not care, she can’t be a Real Transsexual! Surely she would want to look as cis as possible? 

There's a lot of common sense in this post, from Clare.

Friday, November 1, 2019

We Are Not Immune

There is no reason why trans people can’t be transphobic… we can be both internalized and external transphobic. Some of the comments that I receive on my blog shows that, though I see it more as “Lateral Hostility.” 

Sad, isn't it?  Read more here from long-time blogger, Diana.  You might want to note the last line of her post.

Thursday, October 31, 2019

Motive and Opportunity - Halloween '19

By the time I got up enough nerve to leave my car, the "costume walk" was long past. Sitting at the bar I felt the need to justify why I was dressed as I was; like an explanation was a needed?  The bartender's comment, after my long dissertation, "I am sure that this will not be the last".  No truer statement was ever said.

It's Halloween, 2019, and Rhonda tells us about her first time out on that very special holiday.

Top Surgery

This surgery is a lot less scary than FFS was. For one, I've now been through a pretty involved surgery. So nothing is going to be a surprise this time around. Top surgery is actually a much, much simpler procedure in terms of surgical complexity and in terms of recovery.

Brooklyn's Faith DeBrooke is about to endure another surgery....Top Surgery

Wednesday, October 30, 2019

Alive and sittin' (and rambling)

Like any other skill, you just gotta start small and keep practicing.  Something clicked with me and makeup a year or so ago - keep it simple and have extremely low expectations.  That has served me well.  And as such, the handful of times that I've done makeup this year, I've actually enjoyed it.

A few comments, from Tanya, about makeup.  

My New Blog

Many of you know me from my previous blog.  However, due to situations beyond my control, I am shifting my posts to this blog, as I can not remove all references to certain people from my old blog.

Just a quick note that Marian has changed the name of her blog.  The reason is in this post.

Tuesday, October 29, 2019


I’d wanted some for ages. Seen them around in the shops but they were never quite perfect. The lines were either too big, or not quite the right colour or the shape was just not right for me. Then I’d see a women with the exact pair that would be perfect but there was no way I would stop a complete stranger in the street and say, “Excuse me, where did you get your trousers from?”

Only Hannah could write such a captivating post about a pair of trousers.

Monday, October 28, 2019

The People Who Used To Live Here

Branching from a modest, quiet cul-de-sac, at the end of a modest-length driveway, sits a modest home. The People Who Used To Live Here reside within these walls. To a large extent, The People Who Used To Live Here exist on divergent paths, and while the ties that bind still exist, many of those ties are of a legal or nominal nature only. The bonds of family fade with each passing day.

You will feel the emotion in this post, from Shannyn.  Wonderfully written, yet very sad.

T with C

The last year and a half has been difficult at Sox cottage. The news that my illness is incurable cancer has obviously been the most difficult thing my soul mate and I have had to deal with. I have been on chemo therapy for most of this time. Extending my life so I have time to spend with my most dearest is priceless.

These are words we certainly do not like to hear from one or our bloggers, or anyone else.  Bobby is strong, however, as she shows in this post.  If you've never left a comment, you should consider writing one to Bobby.

Sunday, October 27, 2019

3 Saucy Wenches at the Renaissance Fair

We went to the fair and I've spent my second day dressed in public within two weeks.  Life is good.

Life is, indeed, good for Heather.  Read all about 3 Saucy Wenches at the Renaissance Fair.

Saturday, October 26, 2019

Standing Up, Speaking Up, Moving Up

During all the years when I was desperately hoping and wondering and panicking about if I really could or should actually do this thing and embark on a transition, well it occupied my every thought and writing a blog about it was a good way of getting it all out of me rather than keeping things bottled up inside. 

Kristy, an Irish girl, is now post-transition!  In this post, she reviews the past year, and a good year it was!

Friday, October 25, 2019

Real RLE

Real-life experience (RLE) is a process where transsexual and transgender people live full-time in their preferred gender identity for a period of time, in order to demonstrate that they can function as a member of said gender. —Wikipedia

My friend, Stana, shares her thoughts about the Real-Life Experience.

Thursday, October 24, 2019

The essay 'I am a transsexual'

As I read through the paper from Harry Benjamin I find different essays buried inside. I will pull them out and put them here. One of the interesting ideas I find is that so very little has changed, and that this information is out there is recorded and yet we still struggle against society and the medical community. Our plight is improving and maybe in another 100 yrs our will not suffer the way we have. I can only hope. Any way here is an essay title 'I am a transsexual' author unknown.

A nice find, from Bree, who was once a very prolific blogger.

Wednesday, October 23, 2019


David transitioned in Toronto in the 1980s. He said his initial motivation was transvestite. How would he know? Transvestites, or cross dressers, might dress occasionally or compulsively for a sexual thrill, but the thrill wears off and they want to dress normally again. Yet he saw a gender clinic and was prescribed oestrogen. He must have had some diagnoscible signs of transsexualism. 

This one is a very interesting post, from Clare.  It's a story of a transition, de-transition and then a re-transition.

Tuesday, October 22, 2019

My crossdressing story

Then when I was 14, I came up with a brilliant idea! I could be my own sister! I started wearing girl’s clothes every night for a different reason. In my mind, it was to remember my sister and what she would have become. And I started to experience new types of girl’s clothing other that the swimsuits I’d been wearing.

Our journey's are all different in some way but this one, from Amber, is unique.

Monday, October 21, 2019

Review - Tights

A few weeks ago the Ever Lovely Mrs J mentioned a firm to me called Snag Tights. They are very much not a 'one size fits all' company. Instead, they offer a variety of sizes for the long, the short, and the tall - as someone once sang. Intrigued, I thought I'd have a look at their site, and maybe invest.

Tights....a necessity (opaque at least) for those of us (like me!) who don't shave our legs!  Lynn has a review.  

Sunday, October 20, 2019

The Worst Kept Secret

On the first visit to my therapist, I was given a questionnaire to complete. One of the questions was, “What is your sexual preference?’ Without hesitation, I wrote, “I want to be a girl.”

Time for an oldie but a goodie.  Nice post, from Billie, in 2010.

Friday, October 18, 2019

High Heels - Mood Elevation

I have always been aware that getting dressed and “getting out” provided a lift (pun intended). However, I never noticed that just a quick walk in my heels also provided an endorphin hit. 

Endorphins and heels.  They go together like cake and frosting.  Read all about it, from Rhonda.

Thursday, October 17, 2019

Being a Transgender Teacher

This year I was so proud and impressed with this student.  They approached me at the start of the year, and told me they are transgender, and that they are male, and that they would prefer to be called Leo!  I was so excited for them!  Wow!  How cool to understand such an awesome thing at such a young age.  

It's so nice to see Nadine so accepted as a trans teacher.  In this post, she writes about one of her students who came out to her.

It’s Easier Than You Think

If you are able and if you want to go out and if you are frightened about it, really, it’s easier than you think. I am not sure why you wouldn’t if you are able. For almost 50 years, I didn’t have the circumstances and I get that. But if you’re sitting at home wishing you could go out, do it. Use your head. It’s really not that complicated.

It's easier than you think, says Kandi.  This post tells you about a fun day out and about.

The Father Judged to be Mother

 A High Court Judge Has Ruled That "Mother" No Longer Means "Woman"

Caroline forwarded this link to me, from BuzzFeed.  Her comment: This shows just how stupid the law is and how vicious the UK media can be.

Wednesday, October 16, 2019

Ask Hannah!

The other day I spotted a very stylish looking trans girl in my suburb (well, I’d be damn surprised if I’d mis”read” her). Tall, lovely mini dress, flatter heels than I’d have chosen (but, hey, nobody’s perfect!) and spot-on makeup.

I was so tempted to say hi, compliment them on their look, but decided not to, in part remembering what you’d written.

But I’m thinking about what I do if/when I see someone en femme, while I’m in guy mode? Do I say something, or (at most) smile in as friendly a way as possible (trying not to be at all creepy)?

Hannah addresses this often asked question in the latest edition of "Ask Hannah".

The People - Personal Thoughts

Cobweb Corner - Older Blogs, Not Recently Updated