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Thursday, February 28, 2019

Little Red Riding Hood

It is funny how quickly the train of thoughts rattled through – quick turn back before she sees you! you will never pass! why did you come out! your voice will give you away! Oh Sod it!  So without missing a step I continued forwards – each of us looking at the path ahead of us until we got to within 5 ft of each other, we made eye contact, we both smiled and I said hello and then like that we were past each other.  I have no clue if I “passed”, or if I gave this walker the fright of her life, but she did not increase her speed and neither did I, later on as I arrived back at my car I caught a glimpse of pink much further up the hill – she was taking this walk much more seriously than I was.

It was a walk in the countryside.  Perhaps a first walk outside?  Dee had her new red coat on and tells us about her adventure.

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

When transition just isn’t enough anymore

There had been a blog I read many years ago about the time in a transition when you ‘ascend’ being trans, when you ‘make it’, the time that there is more in your life than just ‘being trans’. The stirring pain inside was a realisation of sorts, all the excitement and the whirlwind of transition had come to a perfect stop. Balanced elegantly on the edge of a deep drop into a murky world of society. The bubble had burst, no longer was my entire life focus on ‘being trans’.

This is a really positive post, from Faith, that I meant to feature a few weeks ago.  What happens after transition?   New friends, new job, new life and not more all-encompassing thoughts about being trans.  Read all about it here.

Monday, February 25, 2019

Letting Go of Gender

It took both transitioning and detransitioning and not getting the satisfaction I expected to get in each case to figure that I was trying to solve the wrong problem. Both my transition and my detransition went relatively well and I got much of what I was looking to get out of both processes but getting what I wanted turned out to be less fulfilling than I expected it to be.

This is a relatively long and well thought out post from a woman who transitioned to male and later detransitioned.  He or She?  I think the better term for this blogger is Person.

Dead Name

In reading other articles and blog posts regarding the use of a dead name, I understand why a trans person would feel a myriad of feelings when another person uses their dead name. The first time I heard the term “Dead Name” a transperson was explaining how hurtful it was to hear her old name. Her name that she went by before her transition.

Until now, I had never heard the term Dead Name.  Makes sense, I suppose.  This post, and its a good one, is from the Transgentle Wife's point of view.

Sunday, February 24, 2019

A tale of two wardrobes

Keeping two wardrobes can be tricky. I would love to think it's not about deceit, but keeping things out of the way. Not everyone needs to know what we have in the cupboard I guess.

Here's a short one, from Lynn about two wardrobes.

Thursday, February 21, 2019

The painful truth…

Being Trans is not easy, I love it when people tell me they admire and are encouraged by my story and life. The hard cold reality of being Trans is one that is Alone and sometimes Unemployed.

I have had so many friends who will echo the words "alone" and "unemployed". Most have gone through that phase, but it has only made them stronger women as I know will be the same with Aleana.  Do read her post, The painful truth...

Tuesday, February 19, 2019

I am not ashamed to be transgender

When I asked my son (who is transgender) what kind of impact our support had, he looked me straight in the eye (which teenagers generally don’t do) and said, “I don’t feel ashamed of who I am.” Several years later and I can still feel the power behind that statement that he uttered with such conviction, not a moment’s hesitation.

A nice post from the mother of a transgender teen.

'How Amazon helped me transition to a woman'

"I knew from a young age that I wasn't the same as the other children," says Sophie Roberts, a 34-year-old Amazon software manager based in Edinburgh.

Sophie Roberts 
Several months ago Caroline, who for years has blogged at Time Regained, sent me a link to an interesting BBC story about a girl in Scotland who transitioned at work. Her story, 'How Amazon helped me transition to a woman', is available on the BBC website.

Monday, February 18, 2019

The Makeup Museum

I have a precious gift for you readers -- I'm going to alert you to a wonderful blog you'll love. Most of you don't know about it yet so I'm excited to put it on your radar.

This post has nothing to do with being trans.  It's about makeup and I'm guessing there may be a few of you out there who might have some interest in the subject.  Our Shybiker includes a nice interview with the author of Makeup Museum.

a question of origin

There are many transsexuals like me who have not transitioned and more of us belong to that generation where we did not know what was wrong with us. Young people today have the luxury of not only having the internet but an entire medical system replete with information on psychological help, hormone treatment and surgery options.

Joanna, like myself, has long been a student of the transgender and transsexual psyche.  In"a question of origin", she ponders a bit more on the subject.

And, while I'm at it, I want to mention Joanna's book, Different.  You can read a bit of the first chapter here.

Sunday, February 17, 2019


Blanche (in her Southern drawl):  

‘There is gossip that someone here in the office is a woman working as a man.  I think that it’s you.  No, I know that it’s you.  We just can’t have that here.’

The job termination followed that event.  

Trouble is a long and sad post about discrimination and mis-gendering.  To fully understand this blogger's history, do go to all of the tabs at the top of the page and read the contents.

Friday, February 15, 2019


It flickered sharp blue, lilac, ice white and pink randomly. I watched that star for a moment as it captivated me as it always does. Two stars entwined with each other and burning bright for more time than we could ever imagine bound by some unimaginable force. It was the one thing I didn’t have at the moment was that bond with someone in that same binary way.

I've said it before....I'm in love with Hannah's writing.  How can you not want to continue reading her posts, when they start out like the paragraph, above? 

Outgrow is a post about relationships and how they mesh with being trans.  It's another wonderful post, from Hannah.

Tuesday, February 12, 2019

Flashy Lashes!

I was surprised at how nervous I was about doing it though.  I wasn't concerned about the person who offered to do them.  I had confidence in her.  I wasn't nervous about hanging out with her either, she's a total doll and fun to be around.  I was nervous about two things really 1 - could I actually sit and allow someone to do this to me?  And 2 - how would it look.

She looks fab!  Go Flashy Lashes!, to see for yourself.   It's all from that California girl, Nadine.

Sunday, February 10, 2019

What to wear, what to wear?

  • What would you like to feel when you're getting dressed to go out?
  • Does getting dressed form a key part of the night?
  • Are there any pressures when dressing up?
  • What do you do about deciding what to wear? What does a look for different events - meal out, party night, visiting friends - look like?

The questions, above, are from a survey sponsored by a women's clothing retailer.  Lynn has her answers.  How about you?  Go here to find Lynn's answers.  Leave her a comment with yours.

Saturday, February 9, 2019

Starting off 2019 with a Break

A few weeks ago I was in an accident that required an emergency visit to the hospital via an ambulance. I had called the wife to tell her to meet me at the ER and as I was talking to her I realized that I had painted my toenails a very bright sparkly red just recently as well as shaved my legs.

As Cynthia put it, It’s 2019 world and I can damn well have pretty nails too.  How did the hospital doctors and nurses react?  Read, Starting off 2019 with a Break, for the answer.

I also want to give Cynthia a shout-out for the sweet words about her spouse.  So nice to hear.

Thursday, February 7, 2019

Are We Our Own Worst Enemies?

We are quite often our own worst enemies. Being militant, being loud, being the center of attention only fortifies stereotypes. Think, please! It is undeniable that stereotypes exists and we must do what we can to break them down, not build them up.

Are We Our Own Worst Enemies?  At times that would appear to be the case.  Kandi thinks so, and so do I.

Monday, February 4, 2019

A Significant Part of my Life has been Spent as Me - A TC Guest Post

This is a guest post, from long-time blogger, Caroline.  While her Time Regained Blog is still listed, she's been having trouble with various components of the Blogger site, including comments.  If you wish to comment, please do so here and Caroline will see them.
I find it hard to believe that it is now exactly seven years ago that I was relaxing calmly in my room in Brighton. I had been through all the reception routine and just making a few calls to close friends and doing some online chat with well wishers, They had told me that I would be operated on early the next day which was something of a relief not having to face a long wait with my mind racing…

I had traveled the 530 miles down by train the previous day and spent the evening at a restaurant with Lucy a long time online friend who I had met up with when I had to attend my pre-op appointment. From the moment we spotted each other we became close friends and have continued to meet since then and shall be together in just there months as she explores the country with her caravan. In the morning I had wandered along the sea front, much changed since the holiday at the age of ten when the family stayed with friends in an apartment overlooking the beach and Piers. It was a fresh cold morning with snow forecast, just the sort of thing I had feared would ruin my whole project! Eventually I took shelter in the Lanes, a winding series of roads lined with interestingly quirky shops, the centre of nightlife in the town. In truth I was just using the chance to make a quick exploration before my arranged midday registration at the edge of town Private health clinic which the NHS contracted for all Scottish patients. This sounds like a Monty Python sort of decision being almost as far from home as it is possible to be south of where I live but it turns out to be much more civilised than the London Clinic used by most other Patients…

After a few hours I took a taxi ride to my fate. I was given a room in this hilltop clinic with a sweeping view down the fields to the sea beyond and already signs of snow lying in places from the night before. I have rarely had a hotel room on my travels with space and views like this! Best of all I get the view from the bed where I shall be prisoner for some days to come.

My greatest surprise was the feeling of utter calm. Once I had boarded the train south I had started to relax and I had not had a moment of anxiety through the whole journey to this room. What I had anticipated was a heart thumping gush of emotion when left alone to contemplate the procedure the next day and everything that I had gone through to reach this point. A journey which started before I was three when my sisters were born and plunged me into confusion. At four and a half I had a small crisis which caused me to construction emotional defence barrier to never show my true self or shed a tear until the transformation to adult, surely female adult, was complete.

I was facing a serious operation. The clinic had a hundred percent success rate, occasional setbacks for some patients and with my miserable self healing system I was expecting a less than text book process. They said that my request for a DNR should have been made in advance, I suspect that they did not wish to ruin their perfect score just because I did not want to be jump started… I had got to my target finishing line, anything extra would be a bonus, I could now die happy. Asking about the impending snow I was assured that many staff just stay on in the clinic if they feel that getting back will be too difficult and best of all the surgeon told me that he could walk in! Just as well since overnight the snow came and brought the country to a halt for the best part of a week.

I doubt that my pulse rate was a beat faster than normal. I had reached the point of rescue which I had been told in my late teens would never happen in my lifetime. I was going to be able to spend the rest of my life as I had always known I should.

As if to remind me of my special trip deep snow has once again fallen in Brighton at this time. Hard to believe that now a significant part of life has been spent as me…

Love Caroline xx

Sunday, February 3, 2019

Like The Lidl Lindsay Wagner

I’m returning to work tomorrow. Which is going to be surreal AF after 15 months off and some extensive remodeling on my part.

After 15 months, Chrissy 2.0 having complete her transition, returns to work in her new body.   I love this girl's confidence and subtle sense of humor, which extends to the music video she has included with this post.

a reason to rejoice

The idea that femininity is inferior to masculinity is what drove many of us to despise our own natures. The culture I grew up in valued masculine men and respected feminine women but there was little doubt where the power lay.

You read the paragraph, above, and wonder why is it a reason to rejoice?  Follow the link for a short post, from Joanna.

Friday, February 1, 2019


Every young bride that stands before her handsome groom has a dream as to what her future life would look like. Images of tropical vacations with umbrella drinks, babies that grow up to kids to shuttle to soccer practice and ballet lessons, and sitting together on a porch swing as grandparents dance before her eyes as she walks down the church aisle towards a new life while holding hands with her new husband. I know I carried these thoughts the day I said I do to my husband. When my husband told me early into our marriage that he has an obsession to wear women’s clothes, that fact fit into did not match the life-plan I had laid out for myself, for us. It was not part of my future dreams.

So many conflicted emotions fired up inside of me when I read this post.  As I have said before, The Transgentle Wife's spouse is truly fortunate to have such a loving and understanding partner in life.

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