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Saturday, September 18, 2021

Like mother, like daughter?

....this photo, taken a few weeks back, where what I noticed with a slight shock was not only Susie as I hoped to see her, but also, rather unnervingly, my mother looking back out at me. 

 

Susie looked into the mirror and - gasp - saw a bit of her mother looking back at her.  How did that work out for her?  Read, this post, for the answer (I think).
 

Tuesday, September 14, 2021

Double Nickel

On September 13, 2021, I turned 55.  Another year passed, another year still alive.
 

 

 

 

 

It's Sophie's birthday!  Well, to be exact, yesterday was her birthday.  She's such a sweet and caring soul and a long time blogger.  Read her post to see how she spent her birthday and, if you have a chance, wish her a happy birthday with many more to come.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOPHIE!

Sunday, September 12, 2021

Trans women in men’s prisons

Can you learn anything about trans women in general from trans women in prison? Can you even learn how trans women in prison should be treated, from statistics about trans women in prison?


 

 

This is a very interesting, and well thought out post, from Clare.  She quotes facts and statistics in a fairly balanced blog post on the subject.

Sunday, September 5, 2021

A nice routine but a wandering mind

88%.

That’s the percentage of work days I’m xF. Most of that time is in blouse and skirt (aka 3B), so much cooler than combats or flightsuit.

 

Although Michelle has been blogging since 2011, she doesn't blog that often, which makes any post special.  Her current blog post is well worth reading and even includes a very nice photo.  I very much respect her journey in life, and I know you will too.

 

Thursday, September 2, 2021

Hiding the stash from the goons

With three females in my family it was easy enough at first to borrow stuff from any of the many cupboards and drawers that were bursting with clothes. But then I started to buy and acquire my own. And these took some hiding.

 

I love a post that almost anyone who comes to this site can relate to.  This one, from Sue, tops the list.
 

Friday, August 27, 2021

Now compared to the then

My sister would often go in and ‘borrow’ a white t-shirt without asking and…. well she did find a pair of tights I’d bought and was quite rude to me about them. Siblings eh?


 

Ah, the good old days.  It's a bit of reminiscing, from Lynn Jones.

Monday, August 23, 2021

Two camps

Among trans people there has always been (more or less) two distinct camps namely: those who understood and accepted themselves early versus those who did not

 

Joanna gets a bit philosophical.  I love hearing again from this long-time blogger who recently resumed her craft.

Sunday, August 15, 2021

The Dress

However she understood completely why I should want to wear a dress of this type, and put it very succinctly, 'every little girl dreams about wearing a beautiful wedding dress, why shouldn't you?'

 

 

Since she was a child, Andrea has dreamed of wearing a wedding dress.  She mentioned it to a female friend, and got the reply, above.  Did she ever get that dress?  You'll have to read The Dress, for the answer.   A really sweet post, from Andrea.
 

Saturday, August 14, 2021

Please Support Femulate

Readers have asked to reinstate the Femulate flickr website that hosted the thousands of womanless beauty pageant images that Starla Trimm culled from online high school yearbooks. Rebuilding that website would be a major effort and I am willing to do that, but I am less willing to pay the annual $70 fee that flickr charges. 

 

 

A shout-out to assist Stana's Flickr effort to rebuild the site.
 

Thursday, August 5, 2021

My Trans Reality Isn’t Free of Growth

When I tell people that at times I have a super difficult time with my dysphoria and being out in public they often scoff at me. They tell me that I pass perfectly well and that there is absolutely no reasons whatsoever that I should not feel totally and fully comfortable at all times in all settings with anybody. Wow, that is a tall order. To pass at all times in all settings anywhere? How about naked? 


This post is all about passing and being strong enough to handle it when you think you don't.   As Kelly says, above, most see her as 100% female, without a hint of the former "him".  The reality is that even she has moments when the dysphoria raises its ugly head, especially when swimming.  A really nice and honest post, from our friend, Kelly.

Tuesday, July 20, 2021

Hi Mom, It’s Your Daughter Stephie

Hi Mom, it’s your daughter, Stephie. I wanted to call you on Mother’s Day and tell you how much you have and still do mean to me. But, I’m scared. Will you know me? Will you know I’m your daughter? Will you know I am Stephie? 

 

In response to a suggestion from someone in her support group, Stephie shared her thoughts with us as she writes a letter to her mother, which will never be sent.  This may all sound confusing, but it's a post well worth reading and some may relate it to their own experiences with family.

Saturday, July 17, 2021

Gendentity

The thing is it was such a proper full-on genuine British summer day that I just wanted to wear my denim shorts. You know, the ones with the turn ups, lovely soft stitching on the back pockets and the odd discrete blue crystal whether pocket studs would normally sit. They’re also the shorts that I’ve worn to the death with pocket linings that have split and hold nothing more than hopethat they’ll survive another wash.


 

 

Hannah, wearing her tee and denim shorts, and with her beautiful long hair getting a bit of curl due to the humidity, looked a bit more feminine than usual when she went to visit her Mum by the sea.  How did this go?  How did her Mum react?  Go here for the rest of the story which is, as usual, wonderfully written in a manner in which you, the reader, might have actually been right there with them.

Monday, July 12, 2021

Dating Sites

So I have been separated for about two years now. I haven’t really been looking hard as I was waiting for my divorce to be final. I have never cheated on her and won’t start. However, I decided that there is no reconciliation in the future, so decided to put myself out there. 


 

It's so hard to meet a life-partner as you get older.  Emma has checked out the Zoosk, Match, and HER dating sites and has a few comments.

Sunday, July 11, 2021

A Bridge too far.

When I first started venturing out in the early mornings as Susie, sometime in mid-2019, it was often those two nature reserves and trails that I headed for, where I could walk for an hour or two and not encounter anyone apart from a few intrepid joggers and early morning dog walkers.

 

Susie had to curtail her walks due to Covid restrictions, but she's back on the quiet nature trails and has included some lovely pictures.
 

Monday, July 5, 2021

An Actual Transgender Widow

When asked how she's been able to handle my transition, she'll tell you that she had to, first, mourn the loss of the man she married.

 

 

Cyrsti blogs about the subject, based on a comment from Connie.
 

Wednesday, June 30, 2021

Lessons Learned: Avoid Purging

If we’re not okay about who we are yet, and that we don’t have the support we need, we can’t cope with the pressure. That stress pushes us to the drastic action: often, throwing it all away in a purge. I would add here that I absolutely do not judge anyone who’s purged.


Oh, I'm so glad that there is no judgement from Lynn, for I am certainly among the guilty.  This is an excellent post that I'm sure many can relate to.

Three decades and hundreds of transfeminine breast augmentations show rare regret and trends toward larger implants

Our anatomical baseline is very different from that of adult cis women, with a recent study finding that 7 in 10 trans women developed breasts of less than an A-cup after three years of feminizing hormone therapy, and only 58% stating that they were satisfied with their breast size.
 

Great blog post, from Zinnia Jones, which includes links to various studies done recently.  If you're thinking about BA, you'll want to read this one.

Tuesday, June 29, 2021

Proud to be trans?

So you can't really be proud to be trans. Unless you're a total narcissist, which I think is what the traditional sin/failing of pride is really all about. 

 

Some interesting thoughts, from Sue.  If you're questioning her comment, above, she explains it well in this post.
 

Friday, June 25, 2021

Confidence!

Perhaps my first transgender girlfriend who used to meet up with me in straight  sports bars said it the best, I passed out of pure stubbornness.  A nice way of saying I wasn't the best looking woman in the room but a woman none the less.
 

Confidence....so easy to say the word but when you first step out, it all seems to go away!  

For Katie

She was buried in a military cemetery under her birth name.  So the name Katie Ward passes into memory, kept only by those who knew her Truth.  I don't know how many of her family knew about Katie.  I think her daughter did.  In any case, we the transgender community have a responsibility to not just keep her memory alive, but to rise to the challenge that her service demands.  She showed us how caring and helping others can be done, and it's up to us to step up and continue her work.
 

 

Sophie lost her mentor, Katie.  This post is a wonderful tribute to Katie.

Thursday, June 24, 2021

Yes, kids like mine ARE everywhere!

Earlier this year, parents from around the world shared their stories with me about raising their beautiful trans children. 


A wonderful post from a wonderful mom.  Hopefully, you can read the New York Times links.

Monday, June 14, 2021

Some Me Time

The sea breeze had been blowing my hair all over the place so I put a hair tie in, low down and allowed my hair to drape over my left shoulder. With that top and my hair in it’s more feminine form there was no hiding that femininity away.


 

 

I've said it so many times before....Hannah has such a way with words.  Her writing makes you feel like you're there with her.  This one starts of with a dream of living in the city, followed by life in the country and ending with a walk on the beach.  Go here to enjoy Hannah's writing style and her Me time.

Sunday, June 13, 2021

9 Years Blogging - Back Again For One Weekend Only

It's been about 9 years since I started this blog. How time flies! I feel like I should do some kind of retrospective or something, but life has pretty much stood still for the last 15 months or so, so there isn't really anything to reflect on apart from the amount of time I've spent at home and all of the junk food I've eaten (big thanks to Just Eat and Deliveroo!).


It's a little bit about the past year (not doing much), a bit about shopping, and a lot about makeup.  Our Part Time Girl has an update for us.

Oh, and while you're visting her site, be sure to check out her detailed personal T-History page.

Thursday, June 3, 2021

Codex: Sophie 3.0

This entry will be updated as needed, and it's been a while, so NEW EDITION!.  It's sort of a resource for the Blog.  Here you'll find basic definitions of terms and who the people are that I reference most often.
 

 

 

 

 

Ooh!  It's another update, from Sophie!  I love bloggers who give regular updates and Sophie is one of the best.   This update is especially for those who are new to Sophie's long-running blog and also those who just want to know more about what it's like to be trans.

Monday, May 31, 2021

Back (in black)

So what changed? Partly the realization that I will never be the late teens to twenties girl who has been inside my head for as long as I can remember, but more importantly because, since the middle of 2019, Susie started to venture outside the house and into the wider world. And with that, a realisation of the importance of blending in, of how women of a certain age (it's impolite to ask, but you can make your own estimation from the pictures below) looked and dressed when out and about. 

 

Susie has changed and writes about it in this post.  She has not posted to her blog in 5 years and, perhaps, for good reason.  Read, Back (in black), for the reason why.

 

Sunday, May 30, 2021

De-Transitioning

This story is about me and facing this very same question at times. I am not the only Transgender person who faces this dilemma.


 

 

A very serious, and well thought out, blog post from Aleana.

Wednesday, May 26, 2021

How can you beat gender dysphoria without transitioning?

Felix Conrad has written an interesting article on how you can cope with gender dysphoria if you cannot or will not transition.


Go to Jack Molay's site for the link.

Sunday, May 23, 2021

It’s Hopeless

Why do I continue beating my head against a wall? I recently ran the following personal ad on a web site I have referenced in the past (local arts community), well over a month ago
 

 

 

 

 

Go here to read Kandi's ad and the responses.

Saturday, May 22, 2021

Two days ago

I got my hysterectomy done!


 

 

Congrats to one of our Trans-Guys!

Thursday, May 20, 2021

Smashing through the roadblock

Anyone who has read my ramblings for any length of time will know that since discovering I am trans, one of the biggest worries has been how my mum would react. I was all set to tell her at Christmas but then we were sent back into lockdown and I just could not come out to her over the phone or via video chat.
 

 

 

So, DeeDee told her Mum, but you will have to read the post to find out how it went.

Loved the title of this post, by the way!  Kind of says it all.

Monday, May 17, 2021

Taking care

The good news on the above is having had the cognitive behavioural therapy course, or perhaps having been there before and come through the other side, there’s another approach to things. Rather than let my emotions rule me, it’s about the deep breath and saying Hang on, might I just be a bit knackered? Am I sleeping enough? Eating right? Could it be, that I’ve just had enough?

 

 
Lynn knows how to read her body and seems to follow the same practices I do when I'm down.  I liked this post, and she includes a nice photo from a night out with the Chams.

Wednesday, May 12, 2021

KEEP BEING WHO WE ARE

Sometimes a blog post can say a lot in just one sentence.
 

Saturday, May 8, 2021

Swimsuit edition II: boobwatch

Third time was perfect: not too hazy, just enough cloud to give the sky some texture, and a sea that was just about lively enough to be interesting, but not dangerous. I’d already picked my theme: I got a red swimsuit and an inflatable Baywatch-style float, and a couple of party balloons for tits (I didn’t want to accidentally dip my usual falsies in the sea; I’d already done that in a freshwater loch…).

 

Fab post, from Miss Twist.  It's a Bay Watch photo shoot on the beach along the North Sea.  Oh, it must have been cold!

Sunday, May 2, 2021

Purging

So if you think purges work, I am sorry to tell you that they truly never work.  You will dress again, in months, years or even decades, but you will dress again.  And it will feel wonderful.  Just accept it.   
 

 

 

 

I tend to gravitate to the posts I can relate to.  Sadly, this is one of them.  Here's a guest post, in Kandi's Land By Stephanie Julianna, on the subject.

Thursday, April 29, 2021

Sometimes, the best thing to do or say is nothing.

When in doubt, do or say nothing.

 

 

Once in a while, there is a blog post that says a very lot with very few words.  In this case, it's just a few paragraphs.  Marian has some advice, based on experience.


 

Monday, April 26, 2021

Maintenance of Gender Dysphoria via Estrogen

I still live as a male, but when on estrogen, when it kicks in, I may get called madame when shopping or out  and about. Even if I am trying to present as male. I have grown my hair long and wear a ponytail, I would not want to have my hair short ever again, I am happy with my body and the changes and don't regret what estrogen has done, yet I fear going past a certain point. We see ourselves differently to the way other see us and I am  often surprised if I'm taken as female.

What a fabulous post, from Cheryl.  For those who do not want to go to the point of transitioning, read this.

Thursday, April 22, 2021

An academic exercise

Some men choose to identify as women, and some women choose to identify as men. You will be vilified if you deny that they literally are what they identify as. 

 

 

Excuse me?  Seriously?  This statement was made by Richard Dawkins, a somewhat prominent ethologist, and evolutionary biologist.  It doesn't surprise me that Lynn has a few things to say about that comment.

Wednesday, April 21, 2021

Keep on Figurin'

About a year ago, I wrote about how I achieved my figure. Sine then, being quarantined gave me a lot of time to experiment with new things, so almost all the shapewear I used a year ago has changed.

 

Always the practical fashionista, Stana shares her secrets on achieving that "look".   Good post, from the Queen of T-Blogs!

 

Friday, April 16, 2021

Feminine Differential - Wedge Sandals

Are you wanting to wear wedges but you’re not sure how to wear them? Are you afraid you can’t rock them in all sorts of styles? Think again! Wedges range in all different styles with sandal wedges being most comfortable.

 

 

It's all about Wedge sandals and another post from Rhonda's Femininine Differential series.
 

Wednesday, April 14, 2021

Yes, Ernest Hemingway was Transgender

For the wider transgender community it is helpful to know that one of the greatest American authors of all time was transgender. Positive visibility is key in a time of anti-trans prejudices and aggression. (Not that Hemingway was an unproblematic character, mind you!).


This is a very interesting post, from Jack Molay.  There are also some comments worth reading.

Tuesday, April 13, 2021

Makeup Madness

I thought I would share my makeup routine – give you all a bit of insight into what it takes to get my Julie on.


 

 

 

 

Kandi has a new URL and a new logo (love it K!!), but it's the same quality blog it's always been.

One of the skills I don't think I will ever master is makeup.   In this guest post, from Julie, she shares her skills with us.

Tuesday, April 6, 2021

Trans Visibility in the Lockdown Era

I have polled others in the Trans community about their experiences.  Many are gloomy and depressed.  Those struggling to come out have suddenly found lifelines cut.  The support groups and gatherings offering safety in their target gender, have gone.


 

Yeah....I can relate to this.  So nice to see this long-time blogger, from England, do a post.

Sunday, March 28, 2021

Two Years Post-GCS

Things that won’t wait are employment and while I am working now, I’m looking for a new job again. That doesn’t have anything to do with my vagina except for the fact it’s just harder for people who are assumed to have vaginas to find work and when they do it’s for less money than for people who are assumed to have penises. That part sucks.


Heather has been blogging for exactly 10 years now.  In this post, she has shared her past two years, post GCS.  Some might find this post a bit graphic.  I found it very informative. While some things have changed for Heather, but her humor remains intact.

Wednesday, March 24, 2021

Relationships: secrets and lies

Relationships often, sadly, involve lies on all sorts of things: money, affairs, redundancy, health ... so the fact that you've sneaked out dressed as a woman but said you were at the football is hardly a whopper in comparison. Let's face it, revealing that you are trans to your loved ones is a big topic needing a large dose of courage. I don't blame anyone for creating a hidden life for the girl in them.

 

This is another post that I'm sure many can relate to.  Many thanks to Sue for another good one.
 

Thursday, March 18, 2021

I Love A Success Story - Elliot Page

Elliot Page becomes first trans man to appear on Time magazine cover

 

 

 

 

It's nice to see something written on the success of a transman.  Rhonda links to an article from CNN Style.
 

Sunday, March 14, 2021

What Do You Think?

I am in a quandary I can see both sides of the argument for… a trans inclusive district. In San Francisco the Tenderloin district where the Compton Cafeteria uprising happen, is the home of many trans people. Just like the Castro district was know as the gay district the Tenderloin is know for its population of trans people.


Diana asks: What do you think and having a trans-inclusive district?  In a comment, Stana had a good point.  Go here to read it all.

Saturday, March 13, 2021

xF, xM and more firsts

I’ve always wanted to skate as a girl. We’ll ever since my teens. I finally got the chance early February. I’ve owned women’s figure skates for years just never got them sharpened, but when I saw that our local base rink has adult skating from 1000-1100 on Tuesday and Thursday I knew I had to try them out.


What is "xF" and "xM"?  What does this have to do with skating or perhaps cutting hair?  It all comes together (maybe!) in this post, from Michelle.

Is it possible for your true gender to change over time?

Is it possible for your gender to really Change?

Like instead of just unlocking your true identity (an oversimplification), is it possible for your gender identity to have shifted over time instead of just having been the One True Gender (or lack of gender) the whole time?

 

Interesting question.  Interesting response.

 

Saturday, March 6, 2021

A Recipe For Happiness

Was I happy? Hardly. The person I had spent over forty years loving and 'trying to make happy' said what I was doing was wrong. She told me she wouldn't live with a woman and be thought of as a lesbian. I was very unhappy. I wanted the two of us to be 'the Halle girls'. So this taught me that one transitions to be authentic, not to be happy. Do not let anyone con you into thinking that by transitioning you will 'find happiness'. That is horse-pucks. 

 

If you have followed Halle throughout the years, you know that she's had her ups and downs.  Now, fully transitioned for several years, she has found happiness.

If you're trans, and fairly new to blogging, this is a really good blog to read from start-to-finish.  You'll learn so much, not only about Halle, but about yourself.  You'll read about her early days, when she not only found new friends, but found herself.  She's one of the few bloggers who has continued writing well beyond her social and physical transition.  She's just a wonderful human being, and so many can benefit from her life experience.
 

Sunday, February 28, 2021

Sisters, Sisters, There Were Never Such Important Sisters

As we approach the 1 year Anniversary of the Pandemic Lockdown, I find myself missing many things.
 

 

Like all of us, Julie misses those days when we could all gather and enjoy each other's company.  Read her thoughts here.

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