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Wednesday, June 29, 2022

#NotSafeToBeMe

It’s time for this government to ban Conversion Therapy for everyone.
 

 

 

 

This post, from Lynn, is directed towards the UK government but really applies to all governments (mine - USA - included).

Thank you, Lynn, for posting! 

Saturday, June 18, 2022

Art

I've got to apologize for the infrequent posts in the past few months and also for not replying to emails.  I've been extremely busy with work and work-related travel.

With that said, I thought I'd share a post from several years ago, along with some follow-up thoughts.

The original post was part of a "Thoughts and Reflections" series of guest posts, we did in 2010.  You can still find those posts on T-Central.  One of the guests posts was from someone I simply identified as "A".  Today, I can identify him as Art. 

When I was actively blogging via my Calie's Chronicles blog, Art would often reply to my blog posts via private emails.  He shared much of his life with me and I found that we had much in common in the way of career and hobbies.  For some reason, Art felt very comfortable sharing his life and very private thoughts with me.  While he never gendered himself as female, Art was clearly trans and if he were growing up in today's world, Art would have definitely transitioned from male to female. 

But Art never grew up in today's world.  When we were sharing emails, he mentioned to me that he was 90 years old.  I enjoyed our email exchanges and it felt good in that I was an outlet for him....a way for him to share this dark secret he had kept for so many years.

After several years of exchanging emails, I stopped hearing from Art.  I wrote him a few times, but never received a reply.

About five years after the last email from Art, I received an email from his son who informed me that Art had passed away.  His son had discovered the emails Art and I had exchanged and was absolutely astonished to discover that his father had kept this secret from the family all of these years.  It's really too bad since his son was extremely understanding and specifically wrote me to say thanks for allowing his father to feel comfortable enough to discuss his feelings with me.

It's been many years since I received that email from Art's son.  It meant a lot to me to get some closure and also to hear that Art's son was so accepting of his father's deep secret.

Today, I want to re-post the original guest post, along with my introduction, which dates back 12 years ago.

 Transgender flag - Wikipedia

Imagine, if you will, that the year is 1937. You're 17 years old and have feelings that your gender and sex do not match. What would you have done? How would you have reacted?

I suppose for some that suicide was an option. Others may have suppressed it while living very frustrated lives.

Gender reassignment surgery was (with one exception) unheard of at the time.

Per the Andrology website:

"Much as it might have been desired by patients thus afflicted, hormonal and surgical gender reassignment were impossible until the thirties of this century. Modern documented history of transsexualism and gender reassignment starts in 1930 with the first recorded adult sex change operation on a Danish artist in Germany. Einar Wegener became Lily Elbe."

After that, it was only in 1953 with the story of the surgical gender reassignment of the American ex-GI George Jorgensen, who became Christine Jorgensen, that transsexualism received worldwide publicity.

"A" didn't have to imagine what it was like to be 17 years old in the year, 1937. He lived it and he had to also live with "it", although he didn't know at the time that "it" would be referred to as gender identity disorder many years later.

"A" sent me an email some time ago, as the result of a guest post I did on Lori's (former) blog. Although clearly transgender, he always has referred to himself in the male persona, as I am referring to him now.

I asked "A" to share his thoughts and reflections on transitioning and he sent me a draft. I was somewhat concerned with a paragraph near the end of the draft, because it referred to me. I told him that this was his essay and it should not be about me and asked him to delete the paragraph. He insisted it stay. At the end of his essay, I have included his reply and the reason why.

- Calie


The View From The Mountain Top


Hello friends,

Calie has asked me if I could express my thoughts on the subject of transitioning of gender. I am strongly in favor of transitioning as early in life as possible, with some caveats.

That being said, may I introduce myself. I am a man, age 90. Old enough, and with much experience (not all good). My childhood was spent in the 1920's, and my youth in the '30s. And more than that, I was born with an apparently serious case of Gender Identity Disorder.

In those days, total ignorance reigned, nobody - the doctor, the teacher, the lawyer, the clergy, the press, had ever heard of transsexualism, its problems, its causes, its treatment. Add to the problem the fact that my father was a Baptist Minister, bed rock. A really good man, kind and giving, but he knew Sin when he saw it, and Sin had invaded his family. My weakness had to be removed, and it was up to me to do it, with lots of help. I lived a life of hell, for I was effeminate.

Obviously, after years of pressure, I ended up believing everything they said, and buried my other self deep in my psyche, hardly ever to appear. There was great sinful pleasure when it did, soon to be again submerged. A huge Depression, and the stress of a great War overwhelmed me, still without recourse for the TS within, then college, a profession, marriage, and an interesting career. I learned to cope with my 2 persona's by deeply burying one.

Christine Jorgenson, six years my junior, completed transition in the mid 1950's. Then, close to 40, I was appalled, confused, and didn't realize that it might apply to me.

So, I never transitioned, and I have lived a life of deep, constant, frustration. It forced me to concentrate on my sciences. It created a strong and helpful drive that relieved that constant pressure, resulting in needed fulfillment as a creative engineer. I am probably the last articulate survivor from that infinity of earlier generations of humans, and the millions of TS people who were denied transition in the past. Obviously they all lived out their lives, as I did, the difference is that now you have a choice, we didn't. There is much pain either way one chooses, and I don't know which is worse. But, now you have a life choice, and it's a tough one.

In the mid 1990's I retired, discovered the Internet, and began to uncover my secret, which soon came alive, then overwhelmed me. She talks to me many times a day, a welcome joy. I follow many blogs, read much, but have done nothing to adapt. My wife, 87 years old, & my children, know none of it and sadly would absolutely reject me. It's too late in life for me to take the five years needed to modify my being, and at great cost too, to reappear in preferred form at age 95, given that I did live that long.

I am much hurt by the terrible fate awaiting many transitioning transsexuals. Many, many, have to become prostitutes to survive. The extremely high level of unemployment, and the desperate living standards of many are deplorable. The answer is money, and gaining the skill to obtain it, and that means much pre-transition planning, and getting the education to survive. I am appalled by the innocent, ignorant, young people starting transition with no hint of the horrors ahead, and no plan. They should make sure that they will be relatively safe and, without resources, they are in much danger.

I believe Calie to be a blessed and wonderful human being for rejecting transitioning to preserve her marriage and family. She suffers terrible frustration for it, but her love for them makes her do it, an extraordinary sacrifice. A tough, painful, responsible, and humane decision. Her wife must be a wonderful person.

Thanks for putting up with me. I love you all, and respect you.

- A

[When I asked "A" to delete the second to the last paragraph, this was his reply:


I mention at the essay beginning that I was strongly in favor of transitioning, but added that it was with caveats. The second caveat offered, not directly described, is that the crucial social consequences of transition should be recognized and accommodated when making the decision. I do not present that specifically, for it is too preachy, but I did praise the selfless decision of a person with full blown GID, who put transition aside out of love for wife and family. That person happened to be you, sorry, but the case remains important and valid, and should be strongly stated. Please don't invalidate the issue by weakening the example to cover your modesty.

Both the caveats could stand much more stress, but this is not the place.]

Saturday, June 4, 2022

‘Gender critical’ author says she wants to ‘reduce’ number of trans people

Helen Joyce still pretends to care about trans people, but only in the sense they are seen as  deluded cis people who are suffering from the effects of transgender propaganda. As such they have become a burden to cis society.


Ummm.......Seriously?  Trans Express includes a link to the original post, on Pink News.

Wednesday, May 25, 2022

De-Transition?

This morning on a couple of my social media accounts, I noticed two transgender women thinking about reversing all the time and effort they had put into transitioning into the feminine world. To coin an old term, I was in "shock and awe" they would even consider such a move. 

 

While some do de-transition, Cyrsti is not one of them.  Excellent post!

Friday, May 20, 2022

Last Post

I am now starting to disperse of some of those token objects that I foolishly once coveted and to say my final good byes. 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm a week late in posting this.  I didn't see any comments, so I thought I'd feature it.  Honestly, I'm not sure just what Jacklyn is trying to tell us.  Is it a trans purge or a life purge?  I do hope it's not the latter.  I've seen too much of that over the years.  Nevertheless, she is telling us it is her Last Post.

Sunday, May 15, 2022

How To Be More Feminine...

As people continue to realize that gender norms are a little outdated, we now think that being feminine is more of a style choice (although positive feminine traits are still good to emulate).

 

 

Ever the stylist, Rhonda offers some good advice in a short post.
 

Tuesday, May 3, 2022

Language matters

If women aren't "crossdressing" when they wear traditionally male clothing, why is a male bodied person doing so when wearing a skirt?

 

It's a good question.  A short post, from Joanna.
 

Saturday, April 30, 2022

Why Having a Crossdressing Husband is the Most Stressful Thing EVER

This is also the longest thing I have ever written in MY LIFE. This post has been compiled by the many emails I have received over the years from wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, fiancées, partners, and significant others.
 

 

 

 

Yeah, it's a long post, but it should be required reading for you and your significant other.

Well done Hannah!

Saturday, April 16, 2022

And So It Begins – Patient Task Email No. 0

I’ve currently got 51 days to go until my special day is here.....
 
 
And, just what happens in 51 days?   You'll just have to read Kelly's post to get the answer, and it's all good!  Oh, and this girl is absolutely gorgeous, as you can tell from the photo that goes with her post.

 

Thursday, April 14, 2022

Interview with Dusty Rose Smith

Monika: There must be many transgirls dreaming of becoming fashion models. I am too old for this but I know many girls that would be great models but they will never try being a model because of their innate feeling that they are not perfect beauties. Did you have the same feeling?

 

Monika does a nice interview with gorgeous trans fashion model, Dusty Rose Smith.  You'll find the answer to the question, above, along with many more in this blog post.
 

Sunday, April 10, 2022

Family

I have held off writing this post because it concerns someone I love dearly: my son


 

 

I read this post and just said to myself.....wow!  The post is written by a loving father, and that's all I'm going to say.  You NEED to read this one.

Monday, April 4, 2022

......perhaps one of the best photos of me, simply because of the context. I love the idea of the female model, the male photographer, and the fact that the woman…..is me
 

 

 

 

 

Oh, you must see this post, from Sara!  The photos are awesome, as are her comments.  Just a wonderful blog post!

Thursday, March 31, 2022

My sexuality

Deeply repressed in my twenties, so ashamed of cross-dressing that I had aversion therapy, not knowing my own feelings, I wanted a girlfriend like a repressed gay man might- to make me normal, to make me appear normal. I believe a woman fell in love with me at University, saw the gentle soul below the layers of terror and arrogance, and took years to recover. I did not see it.


This is one of those brutally honest posts and well worth reading.  My apologies to Clare for posting this so late.

Thursday, March 24, 2022

Wigging Out

Recently I wrote a post which detailed a few of my trials and tribulations I experienced with wigs before I was able to grow my own hair to a feminine length


 

Here's the link to Cyrsti's original post.  In the most recent post, Cyrsti features Connie's comments on wigs.  Both are good reading.

Thursday, March 17, 2022

Ten Years Later…..

Realistically, if that hadn’t happened, I would probably still not have been abroad at any point, and from a trans perspective, I still probably wouldn’t have even started, whereas I type this having been post-op for about three and a half years. That’s still crazy to even think about.


It's been a while since we've seen a post from Kate.  Ten years ago, something happened that changed many things in Kate's life.  Go to Ten Years Later to find out just what happened.

Sunday, March 13, 2022

To distinguish

The elective taking up of gender variance in adulthood is something I cannot relate to but I know it exists.

 

It's one of Joanna's typically short posts, that says a lot.  I have known a few who claim not to have discovered that they are trans until well into their adult life.  A couple of those have fully transitioned.



 

Friday, March 11, 2022

The strange lens

As I was getting ready the other night, I had one of those moments of why am I doing this? That sightly off-centre thought that makes you question what’s going on. It’s all the…. malarkey and faffing about. A close shave, packing a bag, strapping in to shapewear, painting my face various colours, and then putting on fake hair. It’s all a bit…. confusing at times.


 

With the paragraph, above, along with the following paragraph, Lynn had me rolling on the floor (figuratively speaking) laughing.  Yes, she did finish getting ready and has a few brief comments on her evening.

Tuesday, March 8, 2022

The Angel Known as My Wife

Did I hide this from her for almost 30 years?  Absolutely, but the truth of the matter I hid it from myself for almost 50 years.
 

 

 

 

This is just a lovely post, from Kandi.  If you're trans and married, or have a partner, it should always mean compromise on the part of both partners.  Do read The Angle Known as My Wife.

Sunday, March 6, 2022

Sunday and a relaxing time as Susan

Now every time I post something like this, I get people reaching out to me about me transitioning and that is not what this is about, I am not transitioning. What it is about is I have come to accept this part of me as an equal part of who I am and is just as important to me as my male self.

 

Susan shares her day with us and even included some photos!
 

Saturday, March 5, 2022

Interview with Lexi Schmidt

Monika: We all pay the highest price for the fulfillment of our dreams to be ourselves. As a result, we lose our families, friends, jobs, and social positions. Did you pay such a high price as well? What was the hardest thing about your coming out?

 

Monika has done it again with a series of really good questions directed to her guest, Lexi Schmidt, a 40 year old transwoman who began her transition in 2017.
 

Wednesday, March 2, 2022

A story I shared with my Therapist last year

It was one of my last sessions with her and we sat facing each other in her office and she asked me her last question.

"Have you ever regretted being a male...when you look back are there any regrets?"

I told her "no, I never had any regrets presenting male."

I then explained my answer to her.


This is a Way Back Wednesday post from 2011.  You can read Annah's explanation here.  Anna stopped posting in August, 2011, but you should check out her blog.  Lots of very good posts.

Tuesday, March 1, 2022

Study of trans adolescents confirms puberty blockers and HRT are associated with improved mental health

Transition helps trans youth survive. Studies like these provide evidence that constrains what “child abuse” looks like in an environment where that important notion is all too often misused by the baseless, antiscientific and overreaching policy dictates of the Texas state government and beyond. And these are not the outcomes of abusers.


I'm always interested in any studies on transgender youth.  Puberty blockers can save lives.  Go here to read more.

Monday, February 28, 2022

The question still dogging me “which side is stronger?”

Over the years, I’ve seen and read many online friends and others, slowly creep along the change spectrum; crossdresser, gender fluid, trans woman. “That will ever happen to me”…but now I see so many similar patterns developing. 


Michelle asks the question, "which side is stronger?"  Although she doesn't mention "the slippery slope", it does make me wonder just what the science is behind the progression she describes in the paragraph, above.

Friday, February 25, 2022

Purse

I kind of felt sad about it every time I opened the draw realizing this purse-come-wallet that I really like was just not getting used. Several years on it was still in perfect condition, its puffiness with the material pleated at the edges and the silver embroidered writing still glistening brightly with femininity. 


 

 

 

This post is all about a lovely purse that sat unused for years, and some of you may guess why.  Enjoy Hannah's writing style and do read down to the last paragraph, which is short, but profound!

Thursday, February 24, 2022

3-year HRT Anniversary

I take my estrogen to live. I inject myself with a couple-inch needle once every two weeks in a ritual that goes from "no big deal, get it over with" to "um, procrastinate a day or two?".

 

It's been three years on HRT for Shannyn.  Go here to see how she's doing.


 

Wednesday, February 23, 2022

The Wardrobe

I must say I have never been in such a close proximity to so high a concentration of woman’s evening wear all in one place - that is without getting funny looks from department store assistants. 

 

 

Imagine that you're spending the night in a friend's house.  They offer you a nice room that just happens to have a wardrobe full of lovely evening dresses.  What would you do?  

Abigale shares such an experience with us.  What did Abi do?  Read The Wardrobe for the answer.

It seems that Abi hasn't posted to her blog in a few years.  It's nice to see her back.  Your comments will encourage more posts, so leave Abi a note.
 

Thursday, February 17, 2022

Father of transgender woman adopts her trans female friend

Grace Hyland posted this video about her transgender friend...

 

 

These are two lucky girls!

Tuesday, February 15, 2022

It's not polite when you get it wrong

Nothing sends me sideways faster than a hearty "sir!" from the other side of the line when I answer the phone.

 

For FtM transitioners, with the help of some T, the male voice emerges.  Not so for those transitioning from male to female. It's very difficult to achieve a feminine voice.  Transwomen must resort to voice training (I've tried it) or surgery.  Since vocal cord surgery is still iffy, most will take lessons to develop a feminine voice which, with practice, can be fairly successful.

This post is not about voice training or surgery however, so click on the link to find out just what our blogger has to say.

Thursday, February 10, 2022

Marriage, Again!


We might all love a happy ending, but what about a new beginning.. oh yes, we love those too!! 


Read all the details in Marriage, Again at Kelly's Unordinary Style. 

Thursday, February 3, 2022

Groundhog day

This is now the tenth anniversary of my voyage to the south coast clinic where the repairs and modification, which I was told fifty years ago would not be possible in my lifetime, were finally undertaken. That arrogant doctor was wrong…
 

From Deanna:

My girlfriend "Caroline" has posted on the tenth anniversary of her visit to the 'spa' in Brighton. It might be her last contribution here in Blogistan. We shall see.

Do stop by and read Groundhog Day and let her know, by visiting, that you were there. Read a few more of her posts keeping in mind that her comment stream isn't working. 

If you leave a comment for her on Deanna's blog, she can read and reply. I will leave this up for a long while for that purpose.

Monday, January 31, 2022

Summer of ’68

A Year Among the Girls by Darrell G. Raynor documented a novice crossdresser’s experience at a crossdresser B&B in the Poconos in the mid-1960s.

 

Oh, did this post, from Stana, bring back memories!  I read A Year Among the Girls many years ago, while sitting in a dark corner of my university library.   Stana has a few comments about the book but is also looking for a copy.  Go to, Summer of '68, to read the post.
 

Saturday, January 29, 2022

question for the day

I was asked this question today and I am still wondering my response here.


 

 

 

 

 

Jaclyn can only answer this question herself, but I'm sure she would like your opinions.

Sunday, January 23, 2022

I Wish I Was Fun

Real life isn’t fun.  A lot of what I write about when it comes to this side of us and our gender identity focuses on being realistic about decisions and expectations.  It is not realistic to come out to your wife of fifteen years and then expect to jump into the car and head to the mall to go shopping for heels together.  But… that’s what some people are thinking that’s what will happen.
 

 

 

 

This is a great post, with good information for those who are thinking about coming out to their wife or girlfriend.  I read many posts like this prior to coming out to my wife.  If you're in that category, grab a tea or coffee and read every word of I Wish I Was Fun.

Saturday, January 22, 2022

In my 55 years years I have been due to heartbreak and loss after loss after loss the loss nothing but loss but I can say without reservation that today was the worst day of my life.
 

 

 

 

As a community of trans bloggers, we're here to share our thoughts.  Likewise, we're also here to help our trans brothers and sisters.

Our long-time blogger, Sophie, needs a hug.  If I wasn't a few thousand miles from her, I'd deliver it myself.  A comment on her blog will have to do.  Please send Sophie a hug.

 

 

Wednesday, January 19, 2022

Roadmap To Transition - The Early Years

I then brushed my hair into what I thought was a feminine style and put some hair ribbons in my hair. Then I painted my fingernails a medium pink. I put my regular PJs back on and went back to bed. I didn’t plan on falling asleep, but if I did I knew that Mom and Dad always could drink with the best of them, and being in that condition they probably wouldn’t come in and check on us that night.


This is a "Way-Back Wednesday" post, from Lindsay, written in 2010.  Roadmap To Transition - The Early Years, was followed up with Roadmap to Transition High School and Beyond.  I love these kind of posts simply because I so relate to them, and I know you will too.

By the way, you're probably asking yourself:  Did Mom and Dad check on her?  Go to the post, for the answer!

Tuesday, January 18, 2022

Not Trans Enough?

I just noticed on one of your sites, Kandi’s Land, and you refer to yourself as a crossdresser. We only represent out transgender and nonbinary talent. We do not represent cisgender actors whether they crossdress or not. Cisfemales are lucky because they have been able to crossdress for many decades. Cismales should be able to wear whatever they want too.


 

 

Wow!  Go here for more.

Friday, January 14, 2022

Warnings, coping, and surviving

I can only describe the situation as being a slow descent into the dark woods. Not a relapse into depression, but certainly the withdraw of light and joy that accompanies that.
 

 

Lynn has been in a bit of a funk (depression may be too harsh a word, based on this post).  She reminds us all of the warning signs and how to cope.  An excellent post from one of our long-time bloggers.

Tuesday, January 11, 2022

It happened.

 I did it.  Yep.  No denying it.
 

 

 

 

So, at this point you're probably wondering just what happened.  The answer is in Heather's post.

 

Thursday, January 6, 2022

“Transgender”

The use of “trans” as a substitute for “transgender” is common. But, again a large portion of the transgender population finds this offensive because it shows a disrespect for the whole person. I almost always write “transgender” instead of “trans.” I find that it is no more of an effort. 


Stephie breaks down the word, "transgender" with some comments on how and when it should be used.

Monday, January 3, 2022

Copper Tones and Highlight Tips

She didn’t say much. She seemed extremely shy and served me but I knew she was trans. May be new–trans, you know what I mean. Recently–RLT–name–probably–changed kind of new to it. It was just one of those things that I guess we just know between us but she was more than capable of passing. I thanked her and took my items and she thanked me back with a quiet voice as I left.


 

 

 

This was Hannah's New Years Eve post, so I am a bit late.  Nevertheless, if you haven't read it, you should.  The paragraph, above, was a bit off the topic of hair tones and highlights, but it did remind me of the many I know who are were so shy at first when first stepping out as their true self.

The People - Personal Thoughts

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