Be thyself

I’ve never engaged in the physical ‘purging’ so common to crossdressers. An instinctive hoarder, I like to hang on to my schmutter, especially as I sometimes find new uses for long-overlooked garments. But periodically I make an attempt at mental purging – putting trans thoughts out of my mind, filling the head with ballast. Other sufferers will tell you it doesn’t work. I tried it in October. My resolve lasted all of two weeks – just long enough for me to start asking myself whether it was a compulsion or an addiction, this thing I feel.

Dabrela shares some frank and candid thoughts on her crossdressing in her post, Be thyself.

the issue of orientation

Gender dysphoria does not discriminate according to orientation. It's just either strong enough or not in obliging you to transition. Orientation becomes a filter for the condition and nothing more.

As one who is into the "science" of why we are what we are, I always look forward to posts from Joanna and others.  Hopefully this age-old debate will be settled in the scientific community someday.

For some commentary on Benjamin vs Blanchard, please go to Joanna's post, the issue of orientation.

How to get the perfect partner

Treat your partner like gold. Let that person know that you care, and that you are on their side. You don’t always have to agree, but you do have to be there.

Natalie originally wrote this article for a men's site but, alas, it was not what they wanted.  It's well written and really should have been accepted on that men's webzine.  Please read, enjoy and take note.  Everything Natalie has written, in How to get the perfect partner. are my beliefs also.

Cross Dressing Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas, and all thru the house

I was making my plans to look more like my spouse

I carefully laid out my very best clothes

My bra and my panties, my slip and my hose

 

Oh, and there's much more.  Rhonda has reposted, originally written by Shae, in 2002.  Go to, Cross Dressing Night Before Christmas, to read it all.

I Never Believed in Santa Claus

My parents obliquely asked me what I wanted. I was afraid to tell them the truth. I hedged my answers. Asking for boy’s toys would start an argument. I tried to ask for toys that weren’t made specifically for girls or boys, e.g. a Spirograph or Labyrinth. Toys I could play with by myself and still feel like a boy.


Jamie Ray was raised Jewish.  Her day of gifts was the day before Christian holiday of Christmas.  Find out why by reading Jamie's lovely post, I Never Believed in Santa Claus.

Stay Out of Red Neck Bars if you Ain't a Cow Girl or a Sheep

So my advice to the novice cross dresser or transgender woman heading out into the public eye for the first time is - go to someplace percent wise that you can relax and enjoy the world. If you can and I know it is tough. I tripped through malls in heels and short skirts and most definitely found my way into some wrong drinking establishments. I was no angel.

Sound advice and a title that must have caught your attention!  All from Crysti, who's been there and done that.  She also tells us that she has a new book on the way!  Go here to read the post from Crysti's Transgender Condo.
 

Life just gets better

When we start a transition the way is laid out before us in seemingly enormous lengths of time, a year for this, two years for that etc. It seems like it would never end yet here I am four years past my trip to Brighton to be reborn.

For Caroline, those dark and dreary says of winter, in Scotland, couldn't end fast enough.  They seemed to last forever, peaking around the holidays.  That was prior to her transition.  Now, the days are still dreary, but that's outside.  Inside Caroline, the days are brighter.  Go read, Life just gets better, a rare post from a once prolific blogger.

Crossdressing Modus Operandi, Time for a Change?

Daniella was enjoying some girl time, alone, when......

I was just finishing up when I heard a car pull into the driveway. It was our tenants. They were home. What to do? I finished up and took a careful and sneaky look out the back door. They were indoors and the driveway was clear. I carefully locked the back door, grabbed my keys, handbag and high heel shoes (I had decided to drive in a pair of flats for safety sake) and headed out of the front door and around the side of the house. I carefully looked around the corner and saw that no one was in sight. I made a run for the car. Jumped in,threw my heels on to the floor in front of the passenger seat, started the engine and headed down the drive. So far so good.

Oh, but there's much more to the story!  Read all about it at, Crossdressing Modus Operandi, Time for a Change?

How Transgender Women Are Training Their Voices to Sound More Feminine

Kira has linked to a very interesting article from Smithsonian.com.  Visit Kira's blog for the link.

Real women only

The Seven Sisters Festival in the Mornington Peninsula, South-East of Melbourne, is in trouble about whether to admit trans women. According to PinkNews, they would admit post-op trans women, but not pre-op: "As we have advertised the festival as a sacred women’s only space – having individuals onsite who are physically men would be breaking the trust of many women."

One of the commenters on this post alluded to the fact that a pre-op transman would be qualified to attend.

Oh, the tangled web we trans folks weave....

Go Clare's blog to read Real women only.

What I Want For Christmas

So here’s what I want for Christmas.  I don’t want toys or clothes or gift cards.  I want you listen to me and truly hear what I have to say.  I want you to open your minds and hearts  and try to actually accept me and understand me instead of continuing to ignore and avoid me.  I want you to take interest in my life; ask me about more than just work and the weather; ask questions when you don’t understand something; do some reading on your own so I don’t have to bring all the resources by myself; actually call me for once instead of relying on me to call you.  

And there's more....

What I Want For Christmas, is nicely written, by Sadoni.

surgery and aftermath

That night and the following night I begged the nurses for more morphine so I could sleep.  I was caught off guard by the sheer pain involved with this surgery, which made me feel naive.

There's much, much more to this post than Dana's quote, above, about the incredible amount of pain she had to endure to become whole.  Best to go to surgery and aftermath and read it all.

What would you do?

What would you do? Christmas is coming…..Here you are wondering what to do as you are without children this year…… 

I've known so many trans friends over the years who spend the holidays adrift in loneliness.  

Not Aleana.  How is she dealing with it?  Read What would you do?

One Of Us

........I pointed out to daughter no 2 (age 13) that her little sister’s girly trainers were labelled as unisex.  She replied that yes, that seems right.  I questioned this and pointed out that they were in fact both pink and glittery, and her reply warmed my heart.

“So what?  Doesn’t mean a boy can’t wear them if he wants.  All clothes are unisex.”

“OK then” I replied, “so you could have a unisex dress?”

“Yes.  A boy can wear a dress if he wants to and there’s really nothing wrong with that.”

This is a really cute and heart-warming post from Kirsty.  Actually, it's a two-part post dealing with two totally different subjects.  Both are really feel-good subjects.

The second part of this post involves Kirsty and Michelle (another one of our bloggers) sitting in a cafe when someone approaches them:

“Is it ok if I sit here…”

 “… and speak to you for a minute?”

“It’s ok, don’t worry.  I’m like you.”

What happened next?  You'll have to read the post to fine out!

I guarantee you'll enjoy this One Of Us from Kirsty.

Joel's thoughts on Nathan Verlhelst

.........you might not want to read this … it is pretty upsetting (especially the transcript of a video of Nathan that is no longer online that this piece originally alluded to.) If you are not in a “good place” this is probably not the best thing to read.  And remember if you are EVER feeling unsafe please talk to someone … a friend is always great but there’s always the resources in the sidebar which can be equally helpful!

My thoughts on Nathan Verlhels is an absolutely chilling re-post, by Joel.  The key words are suicide and euthanasia and the post involves the decision of Nathan, a female to male transsexual, to end his life due to a botched gender reassignment surgery.

I want to note that Joel has concerns that reading this may be a "trigger" for some.  He wants you to know that he has now has the proper suicide prevention/help links on his site.

Swimming For My Life

This is not fun.  This is not dress up time.  This is not about looking beautiful.  Yes, a woman perhaps enjoys fun and dressing up and looking as attractive as she can but life is so much more.  This is about identity, about being able to interact with a world in a way that is harmonious to me, as myself, as a woman.  this is about the feeling of knowing the world feels comfortable with me as that person, as a woman.  This is about the struggle of loss of a spouse who is now your best friend and sister.  This is about not having a "center" to my life as I once did. 

Swimming For My Life is just a beautifully written post, from Christen.  Do yourself a favor and read this one which is about life, post transition.  I don't see any comments yet and this is another post that deserves a few comments from those who love well written blog posts.

My Signature Story

I have been on a roller coaster of laughter, tears, anger and confusion smiling for the novelty camera while my seat belt keeps me from standing up and jumping over the edge because really... my crazy ride that's called marriage is no different than any of yours, we just look different.

A lovely post from Mary, the wife of a transwoman.  An absolute must-read.  Please go to My Signature Story, and don't forget to leave a comment.