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Monday, November 30, 2020

Lessons Learned

Equally, if you’re a partner of someone who’s come out about wanting to crossdress or explore a different gender identity, I think it would be a big ask to go from zero to hero in a heartbeat. It takes a long time for someone on the Trans spectrum to admit to themselves who they are: will it take you as a partner, friend, or family to go on a similar arc? So, yeah, it’s okay not to understand things and it’s okay to not know. Just, try to keep an open mind and ask open questions. You might be fearful of losing that person or embarrassed even, but try not to listen to the fear if you can. The person who trusted you with this is still the same – likes, dislikes, history, hopes, etc. – and they would not have shared this with you, if they did not trust you 100%. 


Oh, how time flies!  I was so busy in November, with little time to explore blogs in detail.  About a month ago, while doing some quick looks at the current blogs on T-Central, I noticed that Lynn Jones was writing a series of blog posts called "Lessons Learned".  I wanted to feature the entire series, so I waited until she had done all of her posts.....which was about three weeks ago.  So, here I am, featuring a series of blog posts that, while not ready for the Cobweb Corner section of T-Central, are older than I like to feature.  Nevertheless, this is one of the best series of informational blog posts I've seen in some time.  Lynn has been there and done that, for years, and she knows the rights and the wrongs when it comes to relationships, style, and interfacing with the public.

In Part One, Lynn has a section called "Trying it on for Size".  The paragraph, above, is an excerpt from that section.

In Part Two, Lynn has a great section on "Finding Your Style" and has this to say (among may other thoughts):

As a good place to start, take a look at what people your own age are wearing, when/where they wear it, and how it works for them. I say people because this could just as easily apply to someone who’s female to male or male to female. Either of those folk could be part time, curious, or thinking of crossing over. Regardless of the destination, it all starts with learning. There was no guidebook handed to me as a young teen. I had to work out what was okay and what wasn’t. Ah, those awkward teenage years. Let’s move on quickly 

Part Three has a section on "Real World Shopping".  This is really great and I just so relate to what she says!  Here's a taste:

What about trying things on? Well, the old school Jeans on Top of the Stash hack works in most mixed gender stores. Supermarkets, out of town clothing barns, certain department stores, etc. Work you way through the clothing section of your choice, pick up a few items, and then drop a jumper or a pair of jeans from the section that matches your birth gender. Head for the changing room and in you go. If you’re asked how many items, give the number. In the highly unlikely event the assistance says shall I hang on to these?, smile politely, and state you’d prefer to hang on to all of them for now. When it comes to paying at the till, no need to make up an excuse: seriously, no one cares. 🙂 Ask for a gift certificate if you really want, but it’ll be fine. 

Part Four is all about hair.  Wigs or your own?  Lynn has had much of her hair "go south", so wigs are the answer.  In my case, mine is pretty much all there.  Pre-Covid, I kept it very short, and wearing a wig was easy.  Now, I have let my hair grow quite long and trying to cram a wig over that hair is a bit harder to do.....which makes me wonder why I'd even want to do it.

But, I digress.  The point here is that this is a super series of posts that should be part of a book.  Did you read that Lynn?  Yes, write a book!  It's all good stuff, so read this series of posts now, before she writes the book and takes the posts down!  (just kidding).

Oh, did I say there's a Part Five?  Guess not.  In Part Five, Lynn sums things up with this:

That self acceptance was a long time coming and I think it was only through the love of the Ever Lovely Mrs J and the support from those at Chameleons that I was able to be okay about who I was. It may sound cheesy, but between them, I think the nature of that gift of acceptance cannot be understated.

I've just given you a taste of what Lynn has written.  if you have not read this series of blog post, you should.  Here's the links:

Lessons Learned - Part 1

Lessons Learned - Part 2

Lessons Learned - Part 3

Lessons Learned - Part 4

Lessons Learned - Part 5

Sunday, November 29, 2020

How to dress for Counselling

By the end of last week I had started to worry about what to wear. I know this isn’t a job interview, but in a way it feels like one. I want to dress appropriately and show that I care, but without going overboard, I mean what is a woman supposed to wear to counselling sessions?



I believe DeeDee went with "practical".  She shares her thoughts here.

Monday, November 23, 2020

Obituary: Jan Morris, a poet of time, place and self


Jan Morris, who has died at the age of 94, was one the finest writers the UK has produced in the post-war era.

Her life story was crammed with romance, discovery and adventure. She was a soldier, an award-winning journalist, a novelist and - as a travel writer - became a poet of time and place.

She was also known as a pioneer in her personal life, as one of the first high-profile figures to change gender.


Thanks to Coline for sending me this link, from the BBC website.

Thursday, November 19, 2020


Who knows the story of Hedwig, raise your hand.

Hmm… I don’t see many hands raised.


I'm always looking for a unique post which, of course, is trans related.  I think this one qualifies.   

So, do you know the story of Hedwig?  If not, Diana gives us a brief synopsis.   Seems that there is a movement to get a transgender actor to play the part of Hedwig.  Makes sense, right?  Maybe not.  Read Diana's post for the details.

Oh, and just what little corner of the Nutmeg State does our blogger live in anyway?  Anyone know?   

Friday, November 13, 2020

For Your Consideration: COVID-like Isolation, Extended Into The Past

Most of the people that have expressed care and support and love for me, they live very far away. It's not like I can risk anyone's exposure and go visit them. And OMG, how much I want to. I have a ridiculous amount of hugs to give for recent kindnesses. But I can't.

The pandemic of 2020  has affected virtually everyone on the planet in one way or another, and that includes Shannyn.  It's not just being infected with this horrible virus; for many who have managed to stay healthy, it has meant loneliness and isolation which, for some, can be worse than the disease itself.  Shannyn has a few words on the subject.

Monday, November 9, 2020

I Love A Success Story - Sarah McBride

Democratic activist Sarah McBride willbecome the nation's first person who publicly identifies as transgender to serve as a state senator, after winning Tuesday's election in Delaware, CNN projects. become the nation's first person who publicly identifies as transgender to serve as a state senator, after winning Tuesday's election in Delaware, CNN projects.


 This is a success story!

Wednesday, November 4, 2020

Mom learns a lesson

Basically, Mom made a mistake.



I love to see blog posts from the mom's (and dad's) of transgender kids.  How I wish I had a mom like GenderMom.  In this post, she says she made a mistake with her daughter and she's not ashamed to admit it.  What was the mistake?  Go here for the answer.

Tuesday, November 3, 2020

Uncomfortably Numb

It is a enormous change to go from wandering around a mall that we visit in boy mode to the same mall in heels and a skirt.  All of a sudden we are looking over our shoulders, we are scanning the area for anyone who might know us, keeping alert of anyone who may want to harass us.  We have to do this.  We have to be aware of who is near us, who could harm us. 





A blog post well worth reading today, from Hannah.

Sunday, November 1, 2020

No, not all trans people “always knew” since childhood

Consistent with the findings of other publications, the authors reported that “a few months to a few years elapsed from the moment youth reached self-understanding to when they first came out to others.” However, their experiences were not homogeneous and did not follow a single straightforward path – instead, the authors identified three distinct pathways of development and disclosure among these youth.

For those of you, like myself, who are interested in the science of being trans, this blog post may be of interest. 
I find a post like this one absolutely fascinating!

The People - Personal Thoughts

Cobweb Corner - Older Blogs, Not Recently Updated