Making the Hidden Visible - Imaginary Playmates, Trans Visibility and Sex Positivism

 

 

The picture [below] is me: out proud, sexy, unashamed, posing on a wall looking carefree and happy. I'm Trans-historied. My gender status is legally female. The photo was taken by my husband who is legally married to me here in the UK. Gay and Trans rights are so much better now than before. Indeed some question whether we still need to campaign and fight for them. I've even wondered so myself.

 

 

What a positive blog post, from Jane.  She wrote this post to take note Transgender Day of Visibility.  Things are so much better now, for the trans community, than they were a few years ago, but we have only touched the tip of the iceberg, as Jane notes in the last sentence of her post:

 

The woman in the picture above would need to cover up to please so many people, even though it would stop her keeping cool. She is still considered a man in many countries, her marriage to her husband is not legally recognised. Today, visibility for sexual orientation, gender and sexual freedom is more needed than ever.

Moving forward

It seemed to me transition is a cul-de-sac. It is so tempting because you know what you have to do, and you feel you are moving forward until you hit the wall- for me an operation with results I did not like was the wall. Dressing works like addiction, I said. At first it is really nice, but eventually you have to do it to make life tolerable.




In another good post, from Clare Flourish, Clare relates meeting with a friend who is beginning transition.  Clare was going to tell her not to, but held back.  Read, Moving forward, to find out why.

Hypothesis

Transgender is an adjective.  As In transgender man, woman, person activist, author, etc. The definition: denoting or relating to a person whose sense of personal identity and gender does not correspond with their birth sex. 





Rhonda has done a two-part post and, as with our previously featured post from Daniella, Rhonda's posts deal with the definition of transgender.

What is Rhonda's hypothesis?  You'll have to read A United Front, first, then go to the second post to find Rhonda's hypothesis.

 

Who ‘Qualifies’ as a Transgender Person?

In my opinion even, at the far end of the spectrum, the male identifying crossdresser who only occasionally slips on a lacy g-string is displaying gender non-conformity and is therefore a transgender person.






Some would disagree with that statement, but Daniella does a good job justifying it.   Who ‘Qualifies’ as a Transgender Person?, is well thought out and a good read.

New and Notable - Trans* Reads

Sally comments on three new books that may be on interest.

 

TRANS*AM is a book which looks into relationships between cis-men and transwomen.

Housewife documents the relationship between a woman and her then-husband who transistions.

Transitioning together is another relationship book involving a 20-year marriage and a spouse who transitions.

More on all of these at New and Notable - Trans* Reads.

 

Temptation

The Ever Lovely Mrs J was kind enough to let me borrow some fancy heels.







It's just another day in the life of Lynn Jones.  You know....heels, hair, jeans, skirts....the usual.  Love Lynn's posts!  They're just filled with Temptation!

serenity

How I want to live out the rest of my life provided I stay healthy is a question which will be answered in due course. The only person you can control is yourself and everything else is beyond your grasp allowing us only an influence which disappoints when we realize it is not of the magnitude that we expected.


Joanna has a new look to her blog, and a new attitude.   Is it Serenity?

Creepy Behaviour

So men think I'm cruising them, and women think I'm mentally undressing them or generally being creepy. As I answered in one of your earlier surveys, what I need is a big sign that says: “I'm looking at your clothes not your body. No, really!”




The point Jonathan is trying to make in this post is that he likes to look at the clothes women are wearing when in public.  To most women, this look could be deemed "creepy"....undressing them with his eyes, etc.  Jonathan, however, is just admiring their clothes.   Read more in Creepy Behaviour.

Wobble and more!!

This week Lucy had another wobble and had doubts if she is doing the right thing. These seem to come in cycles. This was caused by a post-op friend of ours saying how difficult and lonely life was for her. This started Lucy off.... The world these days is far more accepting than it used to be and together we can face anything.


I like to feature Avril's posts.  They're the read deal....two loving partners, transitioning together.  Lucy survived the "wobble", but then she had to deal with "Pandora Gate".  Don't know about "Pandora Gate"?  I guess you will just have to read, Wobble and more!!

Twilight Zone - Nails II

The house was full of remover smell when we got back and as suspected I got that look. I just shrugged my shoulders. She wanted to see my hands. I tried to keep my distance and wave them around a bit. I was in panic that with her eagle eyes she would see any colour I missed!



Abi may have gotten herself into a bit of a bind over a bit of nail polish.  You'll have to read, Twilight Zone - Nails II, to find out!

If the Skirt fits, keep it!

So after two weeks of more serious blog posts it’s back to the flipperdy, flippant world of Jenny nonsense.




If the Skirt fits, keep it!   And, if it doesn't...... Read more, from Jenny,

Nipples

A question: do you ever have a passing wish that your nipples were bigger, and had a better shape? By which I mean looking significantly more shapely and protuberant, just as if a host of milk-hungry babies had been sucking voraciously at them - with permanent effect?



With a title like this, I'm sure long-time blogger, Lucy, knew I would pick up on this post.  Lucy transitioned several years ago.  She's comfortable in her new body and has even made additional improvements like shaping and weight loss.  But, if only she could just add a bit to her nipples.  She ponders this in her appropriately name post.

LGBT Privilege?

I distinctly remember the first couple of conversations I had with men. I was naive and shocked when I received a total lack of respect. Privilege then became a very big deal, tipped to the male side.






Privilege seems to be the topic of the week on a few blogs.  We take a trip to Cyrsti's Condo for the third featured post on the subject.

Past vs Future

Ya know folks, In all this transitioning stuff, I have had to learn something. Make peace with the past and leave it there, or there will be no future.





Past vs Future is an emotionally thrown-together post, from Candi.  Good reading and good advice for anyone in transition or considering transition.

Things Never To Say To a Trans Person

I want to point out that this isn't an article about being politically correct. I am not saying these things because it is progressive or an attempt to further an agenda. I am posting this stuff because we are all human and all worth of respect and that includes respecting how someone expresses and experiences their own self.


Once in a while, it's good to feature a post, like this one.  When looking at the the key words in Google searches that have led someone to T-Central, it's pretty obvious that many come to this site to learn more about those who are transgender.  Things Never To Say To a Trans Person can be taken as good advice, from Katherine Jean.

Male Privilege & Trans Women

.......is a woman who is suppressing her gender and suffering from gender dysphoria actually experiencing the world as a man? Also, if we know that a gay man doesn’t experience male privilege in the same way a straight man does, and we know black men don’t experience it the same way white men do, then isn’t it possible that trans women, before they transition, also don’t experience it the way cis men do? 


Somewhat in keeping with the theme of the previous featured post, from Paula, here's another post involving the question of Male Privilege.   Today, it's Helen Boyd, on Male Privilege and Trans Women.

Privilege

I was used to feeling safe, secure and self confident.   It was a bit of a shock to experience the reality of being a woman in London in the 21st Century ~ and for a girl like me London has to be one of the safest cities in the world.  






Paula looks back at male privilege and how losing it has affected her life, as a full time woman.

Early Days of Transition: A Phenomenology of Change

Some trans people insist that in transition they didn’t change their genders, they changed their bodies to align with the gender they’ve been since birth. But for me, I don’t think I really had a well-defined sense of gender at birth. It had to be shaped into existence by the regulations of society on how boys and girls are “supposed” to act.


I don't know much about Rachel, but I just love her writing.  I could easily feature every one of her posts.  She has a lot to say, she says it well, and most T-Central readers can certainly relate to much of it.

In Early Days of Transition: A Phenomenology of Change, Rachel talks about the awkward days when she first began her transition and needed to re-learn the "mechanisms of gender behavior".

Changing my HRT regimen

One of the things being trans has forced me to do is experiment with my body to become more comfortable with it. These experiments have ranged from the innocuous, like wearing different clothes and growing my hair out at different times in my life, to the more risky modification of my hormonal balance to drive physical changes. 

In week 161 of her transition, Heather is considering injectable estrogen. She shares her thoughts in, Changing my HRT regimen.

Feminine Differential - Your Glasses

I like the way I look in glasses. In years past I wore contacts but found myself wearing glasses as Rhonda that were clear non-prescription. That was a lot of trouble for nothing. In my opinion, I believe that glasses soften my face and feminine frames take that a step further. 


Rhonda does look fab when wearing glasses!  Actually, she looks fab with or without glasses, but the eye glasses just add that extra touch.  She has some suggestions and comments on this subject in another entry of her Feminine Differential series.

The picture on the right shows a couple of our favorite bloggers.  Rhonda, on the left, and Joanna Santos, on the right.  The two recently met and had time to dine together twice.  You can read about this in Joanna's post, my dinners with Rhonda.

Proud to be a real woman

.....apparently it’s OK for a cis woman to say to a trans woman “Be trans, be proud — but don’t call yourself a ‘real woman'”, and for a national magazine to publish that. That is what Jenni Murray wrote in a piece for the Sunday Times magazine.



This post is certainly not Rosie Rambling.  It's succinct and to the point.  There's not doubt in this post: Rosie is, Proud to be a real woman.

The Paradoxical Duality of Cat-calling as a Trans Woman

One of the feelings I felt was fear. I was afraid that my response “I’m good” would clock me cuz of my voice and that the man, having clocked me, would feel his masculinity is threatened and then proceed to beat the shit out of me, hence getting in my car as fast as possible.



Rachel got noticed by a group of guys at a gas station.  She feelings about this were all over the map.  Read more at,  The Paradoxical Duality of Cat-calling as a Trans Woman.

Standing up…

Now he’s almost 20 years old with mitts for hands, size 12 men’s feet, and a deep bass voice. Now he’s talking about transitioning. And I’m so scared. I belong to enough groups to know people aren’t kind to 6ft 3in women with deep voices and adam’s apples.



Standing up, is an emotional post from a concerned and loving mom.   Michelle worries about her child.  In this case, her child was often mistaken for a girl when he (Michelle's preferred pronouns) was younger and he played dress-up when he was younger.  Now, at age 19, she's afraid that he will be we "read" on the streets and could be the victim of a hate crime.  Read the post, to feel her pain and emotions.

Are You Transparent?

The mainstream is quite confused about transgender people, and why shouldn't they be, most of us are confused by it too. We're not confused about how we feel, we are just confused on how to navigate the social norms, which in some cases, in some places, society doesn't even want us to exist at all. 



Brianna writes about coming out to herself.....admitting that she is transgender.  Are You Transparent?, is a good post; well written, and worth reading.

The right kind of weird

Maybe, so long as their weird is okay with your weird, it's all Cool & The Gang.







The right kind of weird?   And, pray tell, what might that be?  

And, what's this Cool and the Gang?  Is Lynn dating herself? 

Read all about being weird....from Lynn's weekly visit.

My bras

I did not realize how many bras I  bought in the past year. I still need a few more 36B bras. I am going to get a black bra and a white bra. 

My bras is just a cute, simple post, from Susan.  Oh my, how colorful.....not just black and white!  And they're so neatly stored!

Feminists mentioning trans

I realized the problem began with the fact that adjectives are mostly required of the less powerful. Thus, there are “novelists” and “female novelists,” “African-American doctors” but not “European- American doctors,” “gay soldiers” but not “heterosexual soldiers,” “transgender activists” but not “cisgender activists.”
 - Gloria Steinem 

Feminists mentioning trans, is another unique topic from Clare.  In this post, she has a lot to say about an article by Gloria Steinem, and relates it to homophobia, transphobia, and even gender reassignment surgery.   It's a relatively short, and very readable post. 

... you don't have to understand ...

About a year ago, early on in my transition, a male friend was telling me of a conversation with his father-in-law, who had known me for many years. This older, very traditional male was having trouble with the idea that a person he had known as a man for over a decade was now presenting as a woman; had changed her name to reflect that and so forth. He was worried, wondering what would happen when he saw me, because this was so far outside of his comfort zone. He didn't think it would be possible to accept me, because he couldn't understand such a change.



Halle has a lot to say about this, in a very short post.  Quite an efficient writer, that Halle!  

... you don't have to understand ... is well worth reading.