This Year We Need Transgender Visibility More Than Ever

Being invisible with gender identity issues involves hiding your true self. When we hide we get smaller, shrink into ourselves and lose confidence. It is a dismal place to be. More importantly, invisibility breeds ignorance in others. Trans invisibility allows others to pretend there is bland homogeneity and that diversity in sex or gender is deviance. It also prevents others seeing they are not alone. Growing up a trans child, I wish there had been visible role models to give me hope for the future. I had none and the loneliness quite literally nearly killed me when I tried to take my own life.   

Jane words are from the heart in this post, written on the day of Transgender Visibility.

Filling a Void

Having transitioned is a retirement of sorts; a huge, all-consuming project now complete to a very great extent. Certainly it is a pleasant change to wake in the morning and be greeted by thoughts having nothing to do with dysphoria .




Now, post transition and with gender dysphoria a thing of the past, Halle shares some thoughts about all of this.  As is always the case with our dear Halle, her writing is just wonderful.  I wonder....are there still two spirits?

Solidarity with gender non-conforming people

Women’s jeans are nicer than men’s. They are not cut for the shape of my hips, and jeans look fairly alike across the sexes; but I still prefer women’s jeans. It took a leap of empathy when a trans man told me he preferred men’s.


 
I've noted in the past that Clare Flourish is one of my favorite bloggers.  In this post, however, she has outdone herself.  Solidarity with gender non-conforming people is an excellent blog post that deserves some comment.  Transmen should also be interested in this one.

What It Was/What It Is

What It Was:  Disgust.  Guilt.  Self-hate.  A compulsion.  Anxiety.  Almost 50 years of struggle.  Stupidity.  Horrendous “outfits”.  Hair, all over.  A crappy mustache.  The complete avoidance of photographs.  Certainly never smiling in pictures.  Never, not one single time (and there were many) enjoying “it”.  Denial.








That's what it was.  For more, go to What It Is.

Biological Imperatives and Gender Identity

Is our instinct to procreate stronger than our need to live out our true gender identity? Like many of you, I fell in love with the opposite sex. I truly believed this would “cure” me of wanting to present as female. We Married and raised two children, although the gender dysphoria never completely went away. As the children grew, so did my need to transition to female. Does our innate need for offspring temporarily suppress gender dysphoria? If so, what about F2M trans?


What a great question, and something I have never seen one of our bloggers discuss.  For me, children and family are the only reason I have yet to transition.  The post, Biological Imperatives and Gender Identity, is the result discussion Daniella had with one of her friends.

sex please, we're transsexuals

For the longest time the subject of sex was almost taboo within the transgender community. To be a true transsexual you didn’t dare talk about your sexual practices for fear of being accused of being a fetishist and so, pre-transition transsexual women would appear in front of their gatekeepers and pretend that their identity had nothing to do with sex which is patently false.


Joanna is never one to be shy about discussing the subject which is often kept in the closet.  She (and others) certainly has my respect for her bravery in bringing this subject to the surface.

Hair raising

For me, a good wig is more than something that works for your face, or your outfit. It becomes, at least for me, a part of my identity.






A few words about the "do", from Lynn.

The Speed of Life

I've got a lot happening in the next couple of weeks.  I joined the Board of Out and Equal late last year and we've got an event in San Francisco on Thu-Fri this week, preceded by an all day Board Meeting on Wednesday.  It's a very exciting time for the organization as the founding Executive Director recently retired so there a new captain at the helm.  They sent me my itinerary and my script for the brief speaking portion of this I'll be doing.  I'm sure I'll have more to say on this as it unfolds.


This one is an update from a long time blogger I've been following for years that we haven't heard from for awhile.

How clothing revealed my gender

As I’m beginning a kind of transition that people seem to be taking more seriously, I am thinking about some of the ways that “I knew” I was transfeminine. And one of the biggest ones as an adult was clothing.


It's a good post about "blending", as in male and female clothing.  The BGQ ends this post with:

 .....the moral of the story is, if you never feel comfortable in the options you are “allowed” to wear, there might be something under that you need to explore. I am in love with femme clothing and I am so glad I have a place where I am affirmed in that expression at home and at work.

When you first went out, was it fully dressed or did you add more over time?

I don't remember the exact date of the first time I went out in public. I think it was sometime during 1991 or 1992. It was an exciting time for me as I had recently met several local crossdressers. For the first time in my life, I was sharing my crossdressing with someone other than my wife.

Robyn has an, "Ask me anything" response to a reader and shares it with us.

Not a Life Choice – Traveling

Of course, getting that passport will be a big step, but something else was brought to my attention when my wife went to a significant other support group meeting. It was brought up about international travel. Someone stated that we could never travel to Mexico. Huh, what, why? Yeah, it turns out that to them we would be considered lesbians and that is illegal.


Emma is transitioning.  There's the social security card (for those of you in the USA), the birth certificate and the drivers license, most of which she's already dealt with.  And, then there is the passport.  Not a problem, but this has led Emma to share some thoughts (perhaps on a cloudy day) about the whole issue of traveling when trans.

Detransition: Stigma, Regret and Who Gets to Decide Who You Are

Unfortunately, one thing I have noticed within the trans community is that often the idea of detransitioning is looked at as an act of almost ultimate betrayal and there is a huge stigma associated with it. None of this is warranted.


Katherine comments on the negative attitudes of some of those in our community directed towards those who have detransitioned.  She also has some comments on some of those who have detransitioned and joined groups opposed to transitioning.  It's all in her post, Detransition: Stigma, Regret and Who Gets to Decide Who You Are.

Hiya Dermatologist, Yup They're Boobs

......thinking back to a day, oh so long ago, that I was worried about wearing women's underwear to the doctor's office.  I mean, what if they found out?  What if they were to somehow find out that I was wearing women's underwear!  Oh the horror, the horror!!  At one point in my life I actually felt that way, and yet on this day, I had to laugh.



The visit to the doctor's office, that Nadine is referring to, was a long time ago.  This week, she visited the dermatologist, and she's grown a bit in one part of her body.  She had some explaining to do.  How did her doctor react?  Read, Hiya Dermatologist, Yup They're Boobs, for the rest of the story.  

Something We Have To Acknowledge

Just because one has been diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria does not me that you have to transition, it doesn’t mean going on CHT, and it doesn’t mean having Gender Conforming Surgery. All it means is that there is a “difference between one’s experienced/expressed gender and assigned gender, and significant distress or problems functioning.” How it is treated is up to us.


Diana has always been an advocate for those who have transitioned.  In this post, she reminds us that there are those who detransition and this is Something We Have To Acknowledge.

The real issue is transphobia

Let's be clear, the outburst by a speaker at an anti-trans event on Wednesday, when she called trans people "parasites" demonstrates what trans people have been saying all along - that there is no debate about trans issues to be had. There never has been and never will be. Debating our existence or human rights with transphobes is a non-starter.


Natacha has had it with the transphobia and rightfully let's out some steam in this well thought out post.

The History of Facial Feminization Surgery and The Feminine Ideal of a Surgeon

Why would facial surgery be more important to a transgender woman than bottom surgery for transgender women?



This is an interesting post, from Jack Molay, based on a New Yorker Magazine article.  The link to the article is included.  There also some interesting pictures of very successful FFS surgery patients.

Deciding That Love Matters Most

To say I was jealous of his femme side sounds absurd, but I was giving my affection to him and her, and I felt a little neglected. I wasn’t sure how I’d feel the first time I saw him fully dressed. I couldn’t imagine my masculine guy in a dress and makeup. On a weekend visit at his house, we got him all dolled up, and WOW! It was so much fun! I have to say, he as a she looked absolutely beautiful. And while I’m not generally attracted to women, I found that really didn’t matter, because I looked into her eyes, and still saw the same person, my soulmate.


Check out this excellent guest post, on Crossdresser Heaven, from a supportive soulmate.

Different

Well about a year and a half and 40,500 words later (or thereabouts) my book is now finished and released.




Our good friend, Joanna, has completed her book, Different.  Go to her post for the details.  A link to her book is under the Book Shelf section, on the right side of the T-Central home page.

Start of my journey

You know I have been struggling and fighting and resisting and crying and just about going out of my wits dealing with my gender identity issues for almost 40 years here.  I have gotten to the point where I feel hopeless and then a new sunrise appears.  I have felt alone and frightened, then I find friendship and warmth.  I have decided that instead of fighting, I am accepting.








Those who have followed Jaclyn over the years know that she has gone through several ups and downs.  She has decided to take a small step in the right direction (some may consider it a big step).  Check out her post for more about the re-start of her journey.

Loving me

Living my life is so much better. I feel happier, more at peace with who I am. It’s amazing how much freer I feel just because I’ve stopped fighting with myself. I no longer waste energy denying who I am. I’ve let go of a lot of anger because I no longer have to hide the essence of me.


Need some feel-good reading?  Try this one, from Stef.

Vagina Monologues

On Tuesday I heard the call on Facebook for a trans woman to be in the Vagina Monologues last weekend. My reaction of course: “Pick me! Pick me!”  






What a great story, from Clare.  She did get picked!  She tells you all about it in her blog and includes a link to her monologue in the post.  What she wrote is lovely.  I've read it three times now and you will too.  

Don't frighten the horses

For a moment, I almost said "Oh, I know what you mean! That burning sensation on the pad of your feet. That doesn't go quickly." But, instead, I nodded and said something about Mrs J not doing heels for those same reasons and the moment passed.



Lynn was listening to a colleague at work groan about her shoes.  She responded with a bit of a white lie.  What would have happened if Lynn chose to be honest with her colleague?  Lynn ponders this thought in, Don't frighten the horses.

In a Good Place

I do not wish to be a woman and do not wish to feel like a woman.  I am not experiencing any gender issues or dysphoria.  I have no earthly idea what a woman “feels” like, nor would I ever claim to. 









Kandi is happy with life and In a Good Place.

To the Young Queer Person Who Has Just Come Out to Unaccepting Parents:

A student I know recently came out to religious, conservative, traditional parents and they’re not taking it well, so I asked some of my friends and readers for some words of support for this young person. It was hard not to read the posts without crying. I wanted to compile them here so that others can pass this on to whomever in your life needs it. 

Helen Boyd had 29 responses from her friends.  All are worth reading.  Here's on of them:
 
I grew up in a Christian fundamentalist household. I now identify as an openly transgendered woman & I’ve been working as a transgender activist for the last 21 years. Everything is possible when you accept yourself & refuse to live from a script someone else has written for you~!

Helen is the author of, My Husband Betty and She's Not the Man I Married.  Both are two of the best real-life books I've read on the subject of crossdressing and transsexualism.