Can a Polyamorous Marriage Work?

I was devastated by the thought of my spouse not being willing to "bend the rule" of a traditional marriage...and very angry.  During the transition, I had been forced to think about and accept that my spouse would be changing to the opposite gender, try and reconcile that I am not a lesbian (bi-curious would be a better description) but still love my spouse and I was willing to try working on those issues to make our marriage work.  I was angry that I had done so much thinking about what I could accept from my spouse's gender change, what I would need to sacrifice and what that meant for our marriage...but the first sign of me needing something that made her uncomfortable felt like a deal breaker.

We have a few blogs listed on T-Central that are written by the spouses of transitioners.  B. Strong is one of those.  If you're considering transitioning, and are married, or considering marriage, it's important to read these blogs for an insight as to just what thoughts may be going through your spouse or partner's mind.

In Can a Polyamorous Marriage Work?, B. Strong realizes that she has needs that her spouse can no longer provide.  In response to those needs, she proposes a solution.

The Weight of Waiting

The longer a person lives as the wrong sex, the more likely they will develop a persona that matches their physical body. This is especially true if the person has been very susceptible to gaslighting, believing what others and their own bodies are telling them instead of trusting their own thoughts and feelings. As time goes on, people establish lives. They get jobs, become involved in relationships, get married, and even have children. They become more and more invested in the status quo.

Time for a blast from the past!  Sagebrush (never did figure out who this person is/was) wrote a number of excellent posts in a "limited edition" blog a few years ago.  The Weight of Waiting is from December, 2011, and the advice contained in this post still applies today.  

Transsexualism: A Congenital Disorder, is still listed on T-Central, way down towards the bottom of the page, in the Cobweb Corner section.

Trying to convince you, or me

I hate it. I hate that I am not who I am. I hate that I have hidden who I am all my life in the belief that my parents would be hurt in some way, or even disown me.



A very emotional post from Beth.  I'm sure a few of you may wish to comment.

Trying to convince you, or me, is from Beth's blog, Right Brain, Wrong Body.

What Caitlyn Jenner's Story Means for MTF Crossdressers, Crossdreamers and Transgender

When the transphobes become afraid of appearing transphobic the narrative has shifted dramatically in a positive direction.

As usual, Jack has a lot to say in THIS post, and it's pretty optimistic!

Caitlyn Jenner Deconstructs and Mainstreams Transgender Lives

"She fully-mainstreamed our lives and our human rights in a matter of minutes before probably the most hyper-masculine audience imaginable (uh, Richard Sherman, Peyton Manning and Lebron James?)... and to the millions of Americans and non-Americans around the world watching on TV and on the internet"

Caitlyn Jenner's ESPY Arthur Ashe Award for Courage acceptance speech made a big impression on Karin, and she's reproduced it all for you to read on her blog.

Take a look: Caitlyn Jenner Deconstructs and Mainstreams Transgender Lives.

Coming out as a Trans-Parent ..

So, I’ve been thinking about this topic for quite a while, I’m a transgender, and a parent of 3 beautiful kids, 7, 4.5, and 2 years old wonderful kids ..

The question is, what is considered the best time to come out to them ?? What is considered the best time to tell them that their father is actually a woman ..

Not an uncommon question for anyone transitioning with children.  In Nour's case, the kids are currently over 3000 km away.  She's asking, when is the best time?  Pre-teen, teens, or when they become adults? 

Coming out as a Trans-Parent .. is from Nour's blog, The brighter side of the moon.

I have held off featuring Nour's blog, in fear of her safety.  

She's safe now.

Nour's story is very unique.  If you want to catch up, I'd recommend you start with this post.  

Calogrenant: Oh! What a Knight!

If I've learned anything from many decades of teaching literature, it's this: a good story entertains us on its own merits but also causes us to look within ourselves. It can either explain certain aspects of human purpose and existence or make us question what we thought we knew about it - or both. Aristotle puts it a little more succinctly when he says that the purpose of comedy is to delight and instruct. I believe that any good story does this. And beside these two general purposes, there are also two other factors behind the purpose of this tale.

The first is my love of the Arthurian legend, which had its seed when I was very young, watching The Adventures of Sir Lancelot, which came on before The Mickey Mouse Club. It wasn't Lancelot who fascinated me, though. It was Merlin who held my interest, and the mystical and magical has done so ever since. This interest lay dormant until high school, when I was cast in the school musical, Camelot, and the legend has been with me ever since.

The other factor has also been with me from my earliest days and my feelings about it have been far more ambivalent. Indeed, they have often been a source of fear and self-loathing. I didn't hear the word "transgender" until my young adulthood, but when I did, I knew it applied to me. The path to self-acceptance was long and beset with pain and loss, and I doubt I will finish the journey in my lifetime. But Calogrenant is by no means a veiled biography. My personal views about the nature of being transgender, and my observations on my life will remain at my Mythcongeniality blog. I will say this, though: I have said many times, though, that being transgender makes me a mystical and magical creature. (Others may disagree, but it works for me.)

Gillian's Cally (love that name but it's spelled wrong - jk, G!) lives in the 13th century.   Although not strictly a trans-themed book, Cally was not always the maiden she is now.  Read all about it and support Gillian's book drive by going HERE. 

“Warn me if you’re going to wear a dress…”

Social transition is turning out to be a lot more difficult than I expected and it’s almost entirely about dealing with my parents. Friends don’t care I’m trans, but my parents are giving me a lot of resistance for even the smallest thing.  

I wanted to feature Mia's post because she's certainly not alone with this problem.  Many can relate.

 

“Warn me if you’re going to wear a dress…”, is the post, from Mia's blog, Gender Drift.

Gender Apostates: Who Are We?

Aoife (lovely Irish name) is one of the Gender Apostates.  Aoife has a blog site, as do the Gender Apostates.

Who are they and what's their mission?  Please go to Aoife's blog for the answers and then visit the Gender Apostates' blog to learn more about these women and their ideology.

I was not aware of the Gender Apostates until I read Aoefe's blog.  Then I went to the Gender Apostates' blog and read several compelling posts.  Pride and Privilege: How Cox, Jenner, and Mock can be Real Leaders is one of the posts, written by Diana, that I really related to.

The real "autogynephilia deniers"

Julia Serano, who describes herself as a writer, performer, speaker and activist, is someone I have admired for quite some time.  She's also a biologist, giving her credibility in the area of life science.  She's a wonderful speaker who I've been honored to see in person.

In our community, Julia is perhaps best known for her popular book, Whipping Girl, a book she published in 2007.  In 2013, her second book, Excluded, was released.

Julia has long been an outspoken opponent of the autogynephlia theory and she does a pretty good job responding to this recent tweet, by James Cantor:

Autogynephile-deniers are the anti-vaxxer's of sexology

I believe the reference of "Dieners", refers to the opponents of the Global Warming theory, and "Vaxxer's", refers to those who refuse to vaccinate their children.  You figure it out...

Julia has a lot to say about all of this in her blog post, The real "autogynephilia deniers".

Random Acts of Kindness

Nadine is a lovely person, and expresses her beauty and style without fear, but it hasn't always been that way. 
In today's feature post, Nadine gives us much more than fashion hints.

"Eventually I shoved myself out the front door and somehow managed to start getting out in public.  And in so doing, my entire view of humanity has changed."

Using three particular incidents, she illustrates how people have responded to her confidence and kindness with kindness of their own. Perhaps nothing expresses Nadine's wonderful attitude better than the way she send us off: Love Yourself!

Read Nadine Spirit's post Random Acts of Kindness.

Teaching and sisterhood

Let me lay this out for you:

Ashley's cousin wrote a very unpleasant anti-trans rant about the whole Caitlyn Jenner thing on Facebook, stating among other things that "Bruce" would never be a "real lady."

Ashley's response:

Well that's a shame, I'm sure when Jenner began this transition her fondest hope was that some random ass person on the internet would think she was a reel wummin.

It gets better and with a happy ending.  Thanks to Ashley for sharing this exchange between herself, her cousin, and her brother.  The post is Teaching and sisterhood from her blog Fjarilar och Zebror.

A one-act scene at airport security

It is early morning, before the airport is busy. The lines at
security are not too long and moving along at a decent clip.
A family of two women, one cisgender, one transgender, and two
boys, ages 9 and 6, have just had their boarding passes checked
and are approaching the security screening line. The millimeter
wave scanner is in use.

And, what about the transgender woman?  How was she treated by the TSA agents? 

Read Heather's nicely written post, A one-act scene at airport security, from her blog, Becoming Me.. 

Denial

Am I a  Crossdresser

Am I transgendered and fated to be neither fully male nor female

or am I, as I have questioned every day of my life since memory, TS, a girl in my heart of hearts

or maybe I am just "nuts" 


These are questions Sarah asks herself in the first post of her blog, Life is a wheel.  I'm sure many can relate to these questions.

In Sarah's latest post, Denial, she questions her strong life-long desires to transition and why she hasn't yet transitioned.

Life is a wheel is a new blog that hasn't been featured on T-Central.  With her first post, in mid-June, Sarah has already posted 15 times.  Looks like we have added another prolific writer to the T-Central list!

If, as I do, you enjoy bloggers who share their thoughts openly, you'll like Sarah's blog.  While you're visiting Life is a wheel, be sure to register as a Follower.