Why Don’t People Accept Our Womanhood?

........people simply don’t trust us. They don’t trust what they see as men changing into women – and they are not without good cause – and by that I mean reason that is understandable from their perspective.




In this post, Janie lists some of the reasons that she feels are why some people don't accept transwomen.  Reading this hurts, but she's spot-on, in my opinion.

If you haven't seen Janie's blog, please do and start with, Why Don’t People Accept Our Womanhood?

In in her words:

My name is Janie, and I am a model, photographer and blogger, as well as a patron of the arts of food and drink. I am female, but not exactly standard issue.

Tips For Being a Trans Ally

1. Don't out anyone... period
This needs no further information but remember outing not only shows a lack of trust but can affect a persons employment, relationships, family,... the list goes on and on. The general rule is, if the person says it is ok to talk about their transition with others that is one thing, if not then don't.

Above is just one of several tips for those who want to be a trans ally.  Oh I wish I could have shown this to a woman I met today who violates virtually all of these tips but feels that she is, indeed, an ally.

Katherine's Tips For Being a Trans Ally, is really well thought out and a good read.

no regrets

As I got older and became interested in girls I tried so hard to suppress it and succeeded for long periods but it caught up to me in my 12th year of marriage when everything came undone.

Sound familiar to any of you reading this?  I'll bet it does.   Good post from Joanna, who has no regrets.

How did I know I was trans?

For years I did not know I was transgender, never had even heard the term until a few years ago. I just knew I was different. My desires didn't match who I was suppose to be. I wanted to wear things girls got to wear. But didn't think that made me a girl.






Today's featured post is relatively short, but I love featuring posts like this one.  How did I know I was trans?  I never get tired of reading the thoughts of someone trans which go back to their childhood years.  I'm sure most of you can relate to what Jess has written in this post.

For a much more detailed post on the subject, go to, The road so far, also from Jess's blog.

Jumping Ship (or Walking The Plank)

Is it fair to apply for a job in a new company without mentioning that I am transgender and intending to transition? I’m not sure. And if I do mention that I am trans then am I scuppering my chances of getting the job? If so, why would it ruin my chances? Am I in fact just projecting assumed transphobia on to persons or organisations unnamed?


Kirsty, in a post from a few days ago, ponders the same question that many of us ask ourselves.  Although she lives in Northern Ireland, the non-discrimination laws there are similar to many states in the US.  Will they help if she decides to jump ship?  She asks herself a lot of questions but does she have the answers? 

Jumping Ship (or Walking The Plank), is from Kirsty's World.

Yes, You’re “Trans Enough” to be Transgender

When a person accuses someone of not being transgender, it is elitist, self-entitled, cruel-minded horse shit.



Strong words and sound advice, from Mia.   Yes, You’re “Trans Enough” to be Transgender, is a must-read.

I learned from This

It was mid-January in Philadelphia.  I was all dolled up, wrapped in spandex, reinforced with Spanx and now, only partway through the first half of the show, I really needed to pee.  “This can’t be happening,” I thought. 

Ladies Room Encounter, is a guest post, by Caitlin Ann Grant, which was featured on Rhonda's blog.  An interesting experience with a happy ending.

Girl meets boy dressed as girl

.....if I put on a dress, I’d end up surrounded by girls wanting to doll me up with makeup, lend me bras to be stuffed full of toilet paper, and actually – you know – talk with me. All the guys at these parties would end up on the other side of the room, drinking beer and burning through cigarettes, casting glances at the cross-dresser who’d infiltrated the girls’ corner (cuttlefish do this too, you know).

Girl meets boy dressed as girl, is an entertaining post by Miss Twist, with the theme that not all women are attracted to manly men.

Transphobia and femme shaming - two sides of the same coin

People who should know better, like radical feminists, play the “feminine is a sexist stereotype” card with great enthusiasm, while at the same time embracing masculine gender stereotypes with gusto.


As is always the case with Jack Molay, this essay is well written and to the point.  Transphobia and femme shaming - two sides of the same coin, is from Jack's blog, CrossDreamers.

To Boys Who Don’t Fit In

I had to think hard about what it really meant, to be a woman. Growing up, ‘being a girl’ meant nothing much more to me than pink toys, dresses, sitting around talking and doing nice stuff, instead of having to play rough games about soldiers, and pretend to be interested in sports.

I've seen a lot of posts on the subject of what it means to be a woman.  This one, a guest post by Jesse on the Gender Apostates blog, says a lot.  To Boys Who Don’t Fit In is a long post, but it will make you stop and do a self-analysis of your own views on the subject.

Photo Memories: My First Makeover

By January 1995, I had been regularly attending support group meetings for over 5 years, but I was still closeted, that is, not going beyond the safe confines of the support group’s meeting place.



Although we often tend to feature the newer and perhaps not-so-well known blogs, it is only appropriate that Stana's Femulate super-blog be featured once in a while.  Stana has done so much for the bloggers by linking to many of our blogs.  I certainly thank her for how she helped grow my own blog in its early days.

In, Photo Memories: My First Makeover, Stana goes back to her early, closeted days and shares some thoughts and pictures.

What’s being Trans all about

I lay here in my bed tonight pondering that very same question. In many past posts I have tried to answer the question without being too blunt or abrasive. In the last year I have been called a narcissistic prick by someone who I used to know and whom I had helped out when they need a helping hand. To a liar,  to a freak, to a mental illness case,  to a asshole, and now to a rapist. By the way I am still beeping mad about being called that.

What’s being Trans all about?  Aleana's answer is short, sweet and spot-on.

While you're visiting Aleana's Journey, check out her ABOUT page for a nice summary of her journey in life.

Transvestic fetishism, autogynephilia, and late onset gender dysphoria

Gender dysphoria plus denial manifests first as transvestism, then fantasising about being women, and finally gender dysphoria. We try to make men of ourselves. We cannot admit to ourselves that we are not men. But we cannot deny it completely, so first we compulsively cross-dress, with that extreme distress, repeatedly getting rid of the clothes; then we admit the desire to express female; and finally we cannot resist that desire any more, resisting is just too painful.




Agree or disagree, Clare's thoughts in this post are worth reading.  I love Clare's writing and she doesn't disappoint in this one.  She ends the post with a brutally honest self-analysis.  

A nation of shopkeepers

A few weeks ago, at Chams, we had a young chap come to talk to the group, for his research project. He opened with a simple question: What can retailers do for trans people?




Now THAT's a real good question and Lynn just happens to have some suggestions with a touch of humor mixed in.  A nation of shopkeepers (in this case, the nation is the UK, but no matter) is from Lynn's Yet Another T-Girl Blog.

All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go

In my opinion it is best to avoid places where large numbers of single, young, heteronormative, cisgender men will gather. These people often drink alcohol and alcohol seldom encourages tolerance and a respect for diversity. They may identify you as trans and want to prove a point or worse one my be attracted to you, find out you are trans and feel a need to assert and (re)prove his manliness. 



Daniella lives in South Africa, but her advice would spot-on here in California and, I suppose, just about anywhere else in the free world.  She offers advice on how to dress and where best to go if you're in the position of being, All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go.

The Fork in the Road

Gender isn’t a straight line spectrum. There is no imaginary or fixed line that I can cross that will take me from butch to transgender. The border is wherever I choose to place it. I admit that I keep shifting it, each time I take another step, so I can stay on that border.







An Excellent post from Jamie Ray.   The Fork in the Road reminds those of us who are trans-feminine that our trans-masculine brothers have their own and unique issues to deal with.

On living in stealth

....some people are so worried to seen out with a trans person .. Mainly people from the trans community itself .. Some of the trans community are so reluctant to remember nor to be reminded of their past, they treat their history as never existed !! Why would you do that ?!

Some words from Nour about living stealth, both before and after transition.  The post is  On living in stealth, oh, and some updates :).  The "updates" are worth reading too.  Feel-good stuff!