Our Bathroom Bullying Story, Actions to Take and FAQs to Know

He was in first grade when he peed his pants in class and sat in his own urine for hours after boys in the bathroom tried to forcefully see if he had a penis or vagina. Because his gender expression is feminine leaning, the kids at school had been debating which genitals he possessed. The boys in the bathroom wanted to settle the debate once and for all.


Lori's story, above, is far too common.  It's just sad.  Read Lori's Actions to Take and FAQs to Know, at her blog, Raising My Rainbow.

One Of The Things That I’ve Learned

My instinct was to be protective over my transness. The idea that dysphoria was not required, and that anyone could just identify as trans if they wanted to, seemed to water down the importance of my identity and the struggles of my community.


One of the things that Diana has learned is that there are those out there who identify as trans but have never suffered from dysphoria.  Really?  She quotes an article by Sam Dylan Finch who has six reasons why that matters.

Purge It-Dammit!

Many of us have been forced by others such as a spouse, girlfriend or parent to purge ourselves of our feminine clothing, shoes and makeup. I know I have done it out of a sense of shame or even a resolution never to cross dress again. The whole process soon becomes similar to cutting a weed in the yard. The more you cut it, the faster it wants to come back. At a cost, of course.




Cyrsti writes again about "stashes" and "purging".  This time, she shares a story of extreme purging from her friend, Connie.

How Many Transgender People are There, Really?

I  am convinced all many of the  studies on the number of transgender people (in the broad umbrella sense of the term) seriously underestimate the percentage of the population who are some kind of gender variant, and that this even applies to this new study.


I never take anything Jack Molay writes lightly.  In this case, he's convinced the numbers are seriously underestimated.   Read, How Many Transgender People are There, Really?, for his justification of that statement.

Bonding Between Us

The first time telling a partner about a gender identity disorder can be the most painful and naive moments in life with everlasting effects. I had lived with the gender thing since I was about three with an accumulation of experience and feelings but still a lack of understanding of what it actually is, why it is and the causes which none of us know I was probably naively expecting her to understand, even though telling her about it was the hardest thing I had done until that moment.



Many of the blog posts I feature are picked because I think T-Central followers will relate to what the author has written.   The excerpt above, from Hannah, is certainly a prime example.  I read that paragraph over and over and nearly came to tears.  Been there, done that, and faced the everlasting effects.  I'm sure Hanna's title, Bonding Between Us, refers to the bond between the two spouses in a marriage, but I do believe it could also refer to the bond between all of us who have had to go through the experience of telling a partner.

Hyper-vigilance in the Gender Machine: What It’s Like to Be a Nonpassing Trans Woman

If you don’t look and sound “like a woman” then the gender machine will refuse to play along and you will get hurt. You will get “sirred”. You will get nasty stares as you walk out of the bathroom. You will be harassed, threatened, or maybe even violently assaulted or killed. The gender machine will attempt to chew you up and spit you out. You will be called “freak” and seen as less than human. You will be called slurs. You will be slandered as a pervert.


Rachel has written an excellent, and brutally honest, assessment of, What It’s Like to Be a Nonpassing Trans Woman.  This post is a must-read for anyone considering transitioning from male to female.

understanding the erotic component

Because I came from a deeply religious family where sex was not discussed much at all, I grew up with little access to information and was very much ignorant of matters relating to the subject. With no firsthand experience in intercourse until I married I was then faced with the reality that my ability to perform sexually had been deeply impacted by my dysphoric feelings.



Coming from a similar background, I share Joanna's early lack of understanding the erotic component.

1 month on testosterone

I’ve been injecting 50mg per week.  OK, not exactly true – after the first 2 weeks, I increased it to 80mg, because I felt like it.  Similarly, when I was on Androgel, I wasn’t great at sticking with the script.  Not sure why, but I have a guess that it’s because I wanna exert control over this area of my life.  It just doesn’t really seem like a big deal in terms of consequences, and it makes me feel better…




J Q reports back after a month of injected T.  Go to his post to read about the results, which have been subtle.

Feminine Differential - Fun Shopping

Don't you just love this part of femininity? The planning. The going into the stores and trying different looks.  We are not talking mission shopping - We are talking an afternoon at the mall, checking many stores and then a stop at the mall Starbucks to regroup.





Just a short post on the fun of shopping, from Rhonda.

My Slides from USPATH panel on Detransitioning

Here is a 30 minute video of me [Joel] talking through my slides as a primer for clinicians based on my perspective on some things I believe it would be helpful for clinicians to be mindful of when working with clients interested in detransition.



Joel is an advocate for those considering detransition, having done so himself.  These slides are from a recent presentation he gave at the US Professional Association for Transgender Health.  The slides, narrated by Joel, are obviously directed towards the transgender health community but, nevertheless, may be of interest to some who follow T-Central.

The Art of Normality

To me, normality is something else. It's the day-to-day, it's the regular and routine. No drama. No excitement. No, you can just be you and dare I say, people accept you without any fuss or bother.

That, for me, is what I hope being out is. To just be part of the every day. 

 

 

In the Art of Normality (what a great title for a post!), Lynn covers a couple of different day-to-day happenings in her life, but the focus of the title, and her comments, revolves a British teacher who came out to his school and how that can relate to "normality".

Parallel Transitions and Intersectionality

I spent a lifetime looking for love. I found it in my husband M***. On October 28 2015, he made me his wife. M*** was the first man to love and accept me simply for being a woman. I found my Trans Lottery win. I'm happy now. Previously I had dated men who liked me as a novelty; exotic and different; something new to try. I was little more than a sexual fetish.


Jane, raised in the city, has been living in the Wales countryside for many years as a way to attain anonymity.  Now, it's time to transition back to the city, where attitudes have changed from what they used to be....but will that remain? 

Parallel Transitions and Intersectionality is a well written and thoughtful post, from Jane.  She's found happiness as a woman, but she's very concerned, as are all of us, about the changing political climates in both the UK and the USA and how that will affect trans rights in the future.

Doubts?

While I was thrilled to see Laverne in the role, I wasn't so sure I was pleased when she explained to a client that yes, she used to be a man, but was now a woman. 








Crysti has a few comments about, Doubts?, a new drama on the American CBS network.

What a difference a few years makes

The difference between now and seven years ago was this.



So, you want to know just what the difference is between now and then?  Read, What a difference a few years makes, for Jenny's thoughts.

Let’s Talk Biology Again

.......if the mother, during pregnancy for some reason has hormonal interactions that change the basic hormonal ratios away from the median described above, you can get a child whose brain develops one way then their body develops another. Not enough testosterone in weeks 8-16 then returning to median hormonal ratios for weeks 16 and onward? Transgender child with a female brain and male body. Too much testosterone in weeks 8-16 then returning to median hormonal ratios for weeks 16 and onward? Transgender child with male brain and female body.


Liz, like me, believes in researching the science behind why we are the way we are.  This post, however, is not only directed towards the trans community, but also towards the non-believers who base their conclusions on religious beliefs over the facts found via scientific research.  She quotes many studies in her post, some fairly recent.  

Week 157 – Three years of HRT

Leave the house dressed for the first time, +10. Put makeup on and not have it look like total shit, +15. Get ma’amed, +20. Start electrolysis, +25. Start hormones, +50. Grow tits and an ass, +150. Grow hair out, +75. Part-time transition, +250. Full-time transition, +500. Legal name change, +200. Gender marker changed on identification, +350. Facial feminization surgery, +1,000. GCS/SRS, +5,000. Plus a zillion bonus multipliers like getting hit on, a bra fitting, skirts, dresses, ears pierced, and so on and so forth. More woman with each goal level achieved!



When Heather first began her transition, she assigned points to each milestone.  Where is she today?  How is the transition going?  Read, Week 157 – Three years of HRT.

Not A Life Choice – Medical Decisions

One of the things that bothers me most, okay besides being an Amazon, is my voice. I decided to check out one doctor’s session on altering the voice. Of course, when he started bashing other doctors methods and saying his was best, oh and about $4000 more than the others, I got leery, but stayed to listen. I am trying to remember the exact costs, but I will ball park.  He said there were three methods in use today, the one he did was to remove the front of the voice box and shorten the vocal cords and shrink the voice box. All told about a $10,000 procedure.

Emma has been looking into the various medical decisions she needs to consider when transitioning.  She has found is that not all doctors agree with the procedures others use.  She discusses the different procedures to feminize a male voice, but also mentions the many other medical decisions that need to be considered in a transition.

Trans Space Notts.

“I'm Jonathan, they pronouns; I identify as genderqueer and femme, and recently I've been feeling Not Trans Enough, so the (suggested) topic What is Trans? is quite relevant to me right now.”





Trans Space Notts is a trans group in Nottingham.  The group has a facilitator and they sit in a circle.  At the latest gathering, Jonathan brought up the subject of feeling "not trans enough".   This post also shows just how important it is to be around others like your self who can listen, understand, advise, etc.

8 months HRT - Mental changes

The mental changes are subtle and kind of sneak up on you. I can not tell you exactly what happened in which month, but as I compare today to 8 months ago, there are many changes.









Susan writes about the mental changes she has gone through since beginning hormone replacement therapy.  Everything from how she drives now (compared to "then") to what she listens to on the radio.  Mental changes is another good one from Susan King.

Ever Been "Made Over?"

One of every cross dressers earliest dreams is to have a cis woman make him over. Naturally, because a "real woman" has more expertise. Well, they do, on themselves. Plus they carry years of comments from Mothers, sisters and girlfriends. How could they not know more about the magic of make up?




Want to try a makeover?  Cyrsti says have a professional do it.  Read more at, Ever Been "Made Over?"

The True Cost of Being Me

Don’t wait to be person that you are. I look back and cringe, thinking of the time I wasted wearing the mask. The longer you wear it, the more it becomes you and the harder to remove.


This is another excellent post in what may be the theme for a series from Beth on the True Cost of Being Me.  In this post, Beth is saying, "don't wait"......advice she wished she could have followed many years ago.

Growing out

Growing my hair has been a royal pain in the ass, if you’ll allow me to be frank about it. I don’t know how I managed it the first couple of times I grew it out. It’s getting in my way, it’s hard to work, and it’s uncomfortable. It’s at the awkward length were I can’t really do anything with it. The front of my hair has grown down to my nose, while the back is almost down to my shoulders. It’s annoying.



Stefani's growing her hair out and learning now, what most girls learned at a very young age....just what to do with it as it grows out.

Interview with Christi Brekke

Monika: At what age did you transition into a woman yourself? Was it a difficult process? 

Christi: I didn’t even hear the term “transgender” until I was almost forty years old. I lived four decades, basically thinking something was wrong with me. I knew I was a woman inside, but I figured everyone would think me insane so I never told anyone – except my wife.






Monika does another one of her awesome interviews.  This one is an interview

with Christi Brekke, a writer, blogger, and the author of the biographical book titled “I Want to Be Her” (2016).

Book Review: "Tr**ny" by Laura Jane Grace

The book tore my soul to pieces.  And, 3/4 through it, I wondered- here I was exploring the intense Pain of this woman's psyche, and I didn't know her music.  I knew what drove it- I knew its Source.  I felt like I was not getting the whole story.  So, I saved my pennies and bought Against Me's Transgender Dysphoria Blues. 








Sophie writes a bit about punk rocker Laura Jane Grace....her new book and her music.

Help

......stood there in my jumper dress and heels, I was making myself a cup of tea and on opening the cupboard I noticed a full unopened packet of custard creams. I’ll just have one I thought. But I was kidding myself.


There a touch of humor in this post and (I may be reaching here) a tad bit of a lesson(s) learned.  It involves leaving evidence and perhaps dress sizes....

Questioning the Fluctuations

It felt very, very weird to be there presenting as him and not her.  Which is very unusual for me as, firstly, I usually get fed up of the effort of presenting as female after a few days; and secondly, once back in male mode after a girl time, it just feels right knowing that I've switched boxes again.


In the first time her blog has been featured on T-Central, the post featured has Tanya Questioning the Fluctuations.   Why does it feel good to present as female, yet later also feels good to present as male?  Interesting thoughts from Tanya.

Sad News

I'm not going to into details because her story is like many trans teenagers when they transition, their teenage years is probably the most stressful time of their life and couple that with transitioning the stress can become agonizing. Even with total support from the family, school, and church it is still taxing on teens, and in one case it was unbearable.


Diana has pretty much dedicated her life to transgender rights.  In this post, she makes a plea for more mentors for LGBT teens.

The Sad News Diana writes about relates to the death of a transgender teen, who attended a private boarding school and seemingly had it all, including support for her transition.  In her post, Diana links to the full article.

The subject of trans teens is one I feel very close to.  I was one of them, with zero support, yet I survived.  It is rare that I actually do a post on my own blog, but I did do one on this subject.  The beginning is rather graphic, but it needed to be said and involves the death of the transgender child of a very very close transgender friend.

Just when I thought things were fine...

I married a man, knowing nothing about the cross dressing.  It really hurts that every time I look at something nice for me, want to wear something feminine, his immediate response is along the lines of how he would look in it, wanting to dress up himself, or generally some other "tranny" reaction.  


I do believe it is important for many of us, who are married or thinking about marriage, to better understand how some spouses respond to crossdressing.  Some absolutely will not tolerate it and some do.  For those who do, it's important for the trans half of the family to understand when it's time to back off a bit.  

There are several blogs listed on T-Central, authored by spouses or girlfriends.  In this case, Pennywife laments on, just when she thought things were fine.

On cooties and the gender binary

A transgender person enters the women’s bathroom and soon all the women in that room have got trans cooties. They start dreaming about climbing trees, having independent careers and wearing jeans and leather jackets.



There's really not much more I can say about this post, On cooties and the gender binary.  It's brilliant, and it's from Jack Molay. 

You As You Should Be

And so I explained that dealing with this issue was going to involve a lot of changes in my life and will change how people view me in work. And finally I just blurted out

– I’m transgender.







In this post, Kirsty shares her coming-out-at-work experience.  She informed her manager.  How did it work out?   Read, You As You Should Be, from Kirsty.

Being Trans is Exhausting

I didn’t do all of this to be dead-named and mis-gendered or misunderstood or to have to constantly be coming out.  Really, it’s pretty simple folks.  I used to be a girl and now I’m a boy.  Treat me as such.  You wouldn’t expect a boy to use the women’s room and you wouldn’t call him a lady either. 



Much of this post, from Lesboi, has to do with being misgendered.....a common problem whether FtM or MtF.  Well written, and from the heart, because......well......Being Trans is Exhausting.