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Monday, November 30, 2020

Lessons Learned

Equally, if you’re a partner of someone who’s come out about wanting to crossdress or explore a different gender identity, I think it would be a big ask to go from zero to hero in a heartbeat. It takes a long time for someone on the Trans spectrum to admit to themselves who they are: will it take you as a partner, friend, or family to go on a similar arc? So, yeah, it’s okay not to understand things and it’s okay to not know. Just, try to keep an open mind and ask open questions. You might be fearful of losing that person or embarrassed even, but try not to listen to the fear if you can. The person who trusted you with this is still the same – likes, dislikes, history, hopes, etc. – and they would not have shared this with you, if they did not trust you 100%. 


Oh, how time flies!  I was so busy in November, with little time to explore blogs in detail.  About a month ago, while doing some quick looks at the current blogs on T-Central, I noticed that Lynn Jones was writing a series of blog posts called "Lessons Learned".  I wanted to feature the entire series, so I waited until she had done all of her posts.....which was about three weeks ago.  So, here I am, featuring a series of blog posts that, while not ready for the Cobweb Corner section of T-Central, are older than I like to feature.  Nevertheless, this is one of the best series of informational blog posts I've seen in some time.  Lynn has been there and done that, for years, and she knows the rights and the wrongs when it comes to relationships, style, and interfacing with the public.

In Part One, Lynn has a section called "Trying it on for Size".  The paragraph, above, is an excerpt from that section.

In Part Two, Lynn has a great section on "Finding Your Style" and has this to say (among may other thoughts):

As a good place to start, take a look at what people your own age are wearing, when/where they wear it, and how it works for them. I say people because this could just as easily apply to someone who’s female to male or male to female. Either of those folk could be part time, curious, or thinking of crossing over. Regardless of the destination, it all starts with learning. There was no guidebook handed to me as a young teen. I had to work out what was okay and what wasn’t. Ah, those awkward teenage years. Let’s move on quickly 

Part Three has a section on "Real World Shopping".  This is really great and I just so relate to what she says!  Here's a taste:

What about trying things on? Well, the old school Jeans on Top of the Stash hack works in most mixed gender stores. Supermarkets, out of town clothing barns, certain department stores, etc. Work you way through the clothing section of your choice, pick up a few items, and then drop a jumper or a pair of jeans from the section that matches your birth gender. Head for the changing room and in you go. If you’re asked how many items, give the number. In the highly unlikely event the assistance says shall I hang on to these?, smile politely, and state you’d prefer to hang on to all of them for now. When it comes to paying at the till, no need to make up an excuse: seriously, no one cares. 🙂 Ask for a gift certificate if you really want, but it’ll be fine. 

Part Four is all about hair.  Wigs or your own?  Lynn has had much of her hair "go south", so wigs are the answer.  In my case, mine is pretty much all there.  Pre-Covid, I kept it very short, and wearing a wig was easy.  Now, I have let my hair grow quite long and trying to cram a wig over that hair is a bit harder to do.....which makes me wonder why I'd even want to do it.

But, I digress.  The point here is that this is a super series of posts that should be part of a book.  Did you read that Lynn?  Yes, write a book!  It's all good stuff, so read this series of posts now, before she writes the book and takes the posts down!  (just kidding).

Oh, did I say there's a Part Five?  Guess not.  In Part Five, Lynn sums things up with this:

That self acceptance was a long time coming and I think it was only through the love of the Ever Lovely Mrs J and the support from those at Chameleons that I was able to be okay about who I was. It may sound cheesy, but between them, I think the nature of that gift of acceptance cannot be understated.

I've just given you a taste of what Lynn has written.  if you have not read this series of blog post, you should.  Here's the links:

Lessons Learned - Part 1

Lessons Learned - Part 2

Lessons Learned - Part 3

Lessons Learned - Part 4

Lessons Learned - Part 5

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for the feature. I was having a break on Lessons Learned and then time for away with me! 😉

    "Did you read that Lynn? Yes, write a book!"

    Writing is the easy bit. Getting folk to read it and buy it is quite another! 😁


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