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Thursday, June 12, 2014

The feminine allure

I recall since the time of puberty looking at women and being drawn to them physically but also desiring to emulate and dress like them. I would admire their feminine beauty all the while wanting to possess it for myself.

I'm sure many of you reading this might nod your head and say, "I could have written this!"

You know, that's what I love about many of the trans-related blogs out there.  The author shares his or her thoughts and it's that sharing of thoughts that helps many of us to better understand ourselves.  These words come from Joanna's recent post, The feminine allure.

Joanna's post deals with the burden placed on the partners of those who are gender dysphoric and her admiration of those who attempt to better understand their partners.

The blog is titled Musings of my everyday life...  Please take a few minutes to go over there and read her current post.  While you're there, take a look at some of her past writings.


  1. Transgender and the invisible father -6/16/14 the day after father's day-

    The day after father’s day leaves me bewildered. Seeing all the Facebook congrats all the kudos given to those individuals that fathered children seeing my son’s congrats for his lovely twins my grandchildren seeing my son’s grandfather receiving his due leaves me strangely quiet with desires not to make waves and yet inside I cry.
    What others see as a choice that I see as saving my life has left me invisible as the individual that fathered my son. Maybe labeled as the ‘bad father’ even isolated alone and set aside. Okay this is my life, a trans woman with an adult child never to be recognized as father yet biology does not sever that tie.
    Marginalized as a woman as a trans woman. Marginalized by my family like the strange aunt or uncle asked underhandedly not to come to Christmas birthdays thanksgiving family reunions asked to stay invisible for the sake of the children but really it is others sensibilities sense of the norm that asks this of me. And I want to scream but drama is not my way so I abide them and show up the day after the birthday party the day after thanksgiving to show my regards to give my greetings and live invisible as the world would have it.
    Is this my illusion my secret wish? I do not think so but will test it out seek the evidence, experiment accept what comes of it and if it is my making I will clean it up. If I have been labeled ‘bad dad’ ‘secret shame’ and if there are secret resentments held then it is not on me. As for my actions of the past, some deserve amends some not and amends I have made if they go unnoticed that too is not on me I will keep looking and clean them up as I go as I can. The rest is out of my hands. I will live my life clean, gently push forward and make myself known. I will reject others marginalizing me without forcing them to do anything. The shame is not mine. My life is mine to make as there’s is too. I will walk with courage dignity and vigilance. If I am removed from fatherhood I will still be a father to a son a grandfather to the twins that is biology. If it goes undervalued hidden and denied that will not be done by me.

    1. Thanks for your reply, MsD. If you had done that comment as a blog post, I would have featured it. I was looking for a blog post to feature along the lines of your comment. Couldn't find one.

      Please take care, and thanks again for leaving a comment.

      Calie xxx


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