2021: a look back

Thanks to Calie and the team over at T Central for being kind enough to feature my blog and continuing to showcase posts from across the trans community.

 

 

There was something in this post that spoke to me: "Feature it, Calie!"   It must have been the title, because whenever Lynn takes a look back, it generally involves photos (as is the case this time).  There's more, however, which really does make this one worth featuring.

Oh, and I can be bribed.....it doesn't hurt if you have a link to T-Central on your blog (and Lynn does)!

Happy New Year!

[Fashion] 2021’s Greatest Hits and Mrs……

......I find myself wittering; a week or so of excessive food and drink has made me itchy to be creative and this blog is one of my outlets......

 

 

 

 

Our Retro Girl has put together a 2021 set of retro fashion snaps for us.  It's all her and the pictures are gorgeous!

Haecceity or We Are What We Hide

“Man is not what he thinks he is, he is what he hides.” Little did he know how true that is for many of us. You probably see where I am going with this — what I hide is my femininity. That is my haecceity!

 

 

 

This is a guest post, from Lisa, on Kandi's blog, and it's a good one!  This girl really needs to start her own blog, and if she does, it surely will be featured on T-Central.

Lisa, a 60 year old transwoman, has finally accepted herself.  Many of you, whether transitioning or crossdressing, will relate to what she writes in this post.

Grieving

I was feeling so bad I couldn't hide it and Liz kept asking why.  Unfortunately I have carried the male tendency with me to never show emotion. Of course hormone replacement therapy has helped me to cry and feel emotions, in some cases I am still a rock. 

 

Cyrsti found herself in somewhat of a funk on Christmas Eve.  It involved grief, but her Christmas ended up on a high note.  Read her blog post for the rest of the story.

A Christmas Wish

I know some who read here are not on a path for transition. Please use your imagination and empathy, and believe what you read. For those who are wrestling with transition and are worried about their future, I know how you feel. 

 

 

 

Last year I featured every holiday post I could find, and put them up every two hours on Christmas eve and on Christmas day.  This year, I decided to go with just one and it did register with me.
 

A Little Hint

I to-and-fro’d about whether I should get them, and another pair of leggings while I was at it.

 

 

 

 

This is another of Hannah's beautiful posts, with a Christmas theme.  Much of the post is about just sitting in a cafe in a book shop (been there, done that, LOVE it!). 

As far as Hannah's comment, above, well you will never guess what she was to'ing and fro'ing about but there is a Little Hint hidden in this T-Central post.

Menstrual Products and My Misunderstood Childhood

I had no idea that was what was going on. I really just thought I was a complete whacko. I thought there was something severely wrong with me. I knew for sure that I couldn’t tell anyone. I knew that nobody would understand me.

 

Kelly shares some thoughts about her childhood.   I do believe that there are many of you out there (myself included) who also could not understand yourself much less having anyone else understand your thoughts as a child.  An excellent post, from Kelly.

Ten Year Anniversary, but Still Not Brave Enough...Yet!

Since I started writing this blog, almost exactly ten years ago, so much has changed.
 

 

 

 

We haven't seen a blog post from Vivienne in nearly a year and a half.  Indeed, a lot has changed in her life.  In this interesting post, she brings us up to date.  The title is a tease.  Can you guess what the "brave-enough" issue is?  It's probably not what you're thinking.  Read the post, for the answer!

Baby Your Wig

......don’t go cheap when you buy a wig. Wear a cheap wig and it looks like you are wearing a cheap wig.

I have met hundreds of trans folks over the years and, by far, most have resorted to using wigs when presenting as female.  For many, it's due to male-pattern baldness.  For others, myself included, it's to keep the "corporate male" image, meaning short male-styled hair in the working world.  For the many who own wigs, Stana, the queen of Femulators and writes the Mega-T-Blog, Femulate, has some good suggestions on the subject..

 

Being liberated

This is who I am. This is what I want. No experience “made me like this”. No-one investigates what made someone heterosexual, and gay people strongly object to, mock and ridicule, and have managed to drive to the margins questions of what made them gay. Nevertheless there is widespread certainty on social media of what makes us trans, as if anyone who is not normal must explain themselves and find a cure.

 

I love a post where the author writes from the heart.  Such is the case with this one, from Clare. 

The Scars of being a Crossdresser

Soon after I came out to my Wife about my crossdressing I started shaving my legs and body hair.  That was almost fourteen years ago and I can still remember how good it felt to finally have smooth legs. Likewise it felt good to be finally rid of my chest and body hair too, but soon afterwards I began to pay the price for being over ambitious with the razor on my chest. 

 

Charlotte did pay a price.  Go to The Scars of being a Crossdresser for the rest of the story.

Most assuredly?

If I were my daughter’s age and with what I know today would I transition fully? 

 

It's a good question.  My answer?  YES!  Read the post for Joanna's answer to the question.

Strange new worlds 3: get tae f…alkirk

Fortunately there was a number to call the canal control room in case something had gone wrong. I figured that a transvestite in a silver space suit unable to escape the canal car park counted as something going wrong, and eventually got to speak to a harassed guy with a ton of alarms blaring in the background.

If you've followed this blog for some time, you know that Miss Twist has done some amazing photo shoots.  Not everything went right with this one. If you feel like you need a smile, read this post! 

It’s been almost 8 years

I need help. This is my SoS I suppose. How do you feel better without relying on the medical system? What happens if I can’t afford my medications? Are there any data entry jobs that don’t require me to talk on the phone to angry people and pass out from the anxiety that doesn’t require a degree? Cause I can’t find them.. in the worst job market to date. 

 

Things haven't been going well for this trans-guy.  It just drives me crazy when I hear that the "system" is keeping someone from being whole. Read more here.

Opening Up and Writting Stuff Down

I used used to question whether I was transgender or not and according to what I've read on the internet, some would say yes whilst others would say no. I'm still no clearer to be honest, but to be on the safe side I don't say I'm transgender any more and instead use the term crossdresser.  What do you think? 

Charlotte writes a bit about herself, her gender dysphoria, her stash of clothes, etc.  It's an interesting post.

Make do and match

These last few days gone it’s been Transgender Awareness Week. I may be flippant but I’m aware of being trans most of the time.  However, maybe it’s a time to do what you can to help the rights were have…. and indeed the rights we don’t (yet).

 

I do like to feature Lynn's blog posts.  She's got such a cool logo and it makes the TC home page light up!  This one is light and easy reading.

Be Man Enough

The problem was I couldn't or wouldn't give up my male life. It was simply still too much a part of my existence. Plus, no matter how hard I had studied women my entire life, I didn't feel I was ready yet to cross the gender frontier.

 

In a brutally honest post, Cyrsti looks back to her early years of crossdressing while dealing with married life.

My Goldilocks Bra Fitting

She disappeared and returned with a 38 "B", 40 "C" and 40 "D".  I was left in private to try on all three. Pinch. Pinch. Had I just died and gone to transgender heaven?

 

 

This is a fun post, from Rhonda.  Did she choose the 38 or 40 band?  Was her cup size a C or a D?  I know you want to know!  You'll just have to read, My Goldilocks Bra Fitting, for the answers. 
 

I’m Visible. Are You? Is That Good Or Bad?

Being visible has made us more friends and unfortunately more enemies, lets hope more friends than enemies.

 

I've got to agree with Diana's comment, above.  This post includes Diana's comments on an article recently published in USA Today.

My Deepening Femininity

The opportunity was when one day my girlfriend told me “I made her happy.” Later that day she was sitting on the couch (intuition flashing), and I went and sat down beside her. I asked her “if I was a girl would I still make her happy?”

 

You'll just have to read My Deepening Femininity, for the answer to the question above.

An unexpected healing cry

I have noted in the past that, since starting HRT, I cry more but that I also laugh more. 

 

This is a wonderful, feel good post, on Joanne's lovely looking blog site.  Be sure to read the last line!

Solderer Of Fortune

I never knew how unpleasant my family could be until last year. It's difficult to write about, because I have no frame of reference. Sure, some family members have their moments, but to have them all conspiring to be as nasty as they were through those few weeks last autumn is something else.

What can be worse than a transphobic family?   I so feel for Jenny.  Sending virtual hugs.

My experiences of being trans

I cannot convince the whole world. All I can do, when others say I am a man, is calm the echoes their comments arise in myself. Having convinced myself, I do not have to convince anyone else.

 

 

This is a really, really good post from our friend, Clare.  She echoes much of what has been going through my head as of late.  Why doesn't the cis-public get us?  Public acceptance of transgender folks seemed to be progressing well until a year or two ago, but now we seem to be going backwards.....and it all is centered around the right of a transwoman to use the woman's restroom.  All it takes is for one non-trans pervert to reveal himself in women's undies, in the women's restroom, to send the public's  perception of those who consider themselves trans back 20 years.  It just makes me want to scream.
 

Food Revelation

Yet sadly, no matter how I cut calories, after the first few pounds, weight loss just wasn't happening. On top of that, I was hungry most of the time - craving those goodies that got me where I was. Clearly, a diet wasn't going to help me in the long run. If only I could find a way to not feel so hungry - then I wouldn't mind cutting calories.
 

Our dear friends, Halle and Caroline have been dealing with wright gain (haven't we all?) during the pandemic.  They're now focused on losing that extra weight and seem to have come up with a proven method of doing so.  Halle also links to a similar post, from Caroline. Go here for Halle's post.

Preparing nails for varnishing

Often one has so little time before a night out that one does one's best with the time available. Some stick-on nails will do! But the nails that nature gave you are best, in my view, if you can get them right.

 

Sue has got some tips to make you and your nails glam!
 

Status check

Why does it always feel like I go in circles? I wish I really knew.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

I've been following this girl since she started blogging in 2013.  If you have read her blog posts over the years, you'll realize right away that Jaclyn is really someone who should transition.  For whatever reason, however, she has yet to make the final move.....and I can certainly relate to that.

Stop by her blog, for a Status Check, and send her your support.

Feminine Deferential - Espadrille Wedges

Every now and then you find a shoes that is stylish, comfortable, functional and provides, the ever so important, feminine differential. Most any shoe with a heel (cowboy boots the exception) will provide the feminine deferential but so many times our feet suffer for the style.

 

Rhonda writes about wedge heels and I've got to believe that all of you will agree with her on the comfort and relative ease of walking in them (well, most of them.  I have a pair with a 5 inch heel that's way too high!).

Like mother, like daughter?

....this photo, taken a few weeks back, where what I noticed with a slight shock was not only Susie as I hoped to see her, but also, rather unnervingly, my mother looking back out at me. 

 

Susie looked into the mirror and - gasp - saw a bit of her mother looking back at her.  How did that work out for her?  Read, this post, for the answer (I think).
 

Double Nickel

On September 13, 2021, I turned 55.  Another year passed, another year still alive.
 

 

 

 

 

It's Sophie's birthday!  Well, to be exact, yesterday was her birthday.  She's such a sweet and caring soul and a long time blogger.  Read her post to see how she spent her birthday and, if you have a chance, wish her a happy birthday with many more to come.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SOPHIE!

Trans women in men’s prisons

Can you learn anything about trans women in general from trans women in prison? Can you even learn how trans women in prison should be treated, from statistics about trans women in prison?

 

 

This is a very interesting, and well thought out post, from Clare.  She quotes facts and statistics in a fairly balanced blog post on the subject.

A nice routine but a wandering mind

88%.

That’s the percentage of work days I’m xF. Most of that time is in blouse and skirt (aka 3B), so much cooler than combats or flightsuit.

 

Although Michelle has been blogging since 2011, she doesn't blog that often, which makes any post special.  Her current blog post is well worth reading and even includes a very nice photo.  I very much respect her journey in life, and I know you will too.

 

Hiding the stash from the goons

With three females in my family it was easy enough at first to borrow stuff from any of the many cupboards and drawers that were bursting with clothes. But then I started to buy and acquire my own. And these took some hiding.

 

I love a post that almost anyone who comes to this site can relate to.  This one, from Sue, tops the list.
 

Now compared to the then

My sister would often go in and ‘borrow’ a white t-shirt without asking and…. well she did find a pair of tights I’d bought and was quite rude to me about them. Siblings eh?

 

Ah, the good old days.  It's a bit of reminiscing, from Lynn Jones.

Two camps

Among trans people there has always been (more or less) two distinct camps namely: those who understood and accepted themselves early versus those who did not

 

Joanna gets a bit philosophical.  I love hearing again from this long-time blogger who recently resumed her craft.

The Dress

However she understood completely why I should want to wear a dress of this type, and put it very succinctly, 'every little girl dreams about wearing a beautiful wedding dress, why shouldn't you?'

 

 

Since she was a child, Andrea has dreamed of wearing a wedding dress.  She mentioned it to a female friend, and got the reply, above.  Did she ever get that dress?  You'll have to read The Dress, for the answer.   A really sweet post, from Andrea.
 

Please Support Femulate

Readers have asked to reinstate the Femulate flickr website that hosted the thousands of womanless beauty pageant images that Starla Trimm culled from online high school yearbooks. Rebuilding that website would be a major effort and I am willing to do that, but I am less willing to pay the annual $70 fee that flickr charges. 

 

 

A shout-out to assist Stana's Flickr effort to rebuild the site.
 

My Trans Reality Isn’t Free of Growth

When I tell people that at times I have a super difficult time with my dysphoria and being out in public they often scoff at me. They tell me that I pass perfectly well and that there is absolutely no reasons whatsoever that I should not feel totally and fully comfortable at all times in all settings with anybody. Wow, that is a tall order. To pass at all times in all settings anywhere? How about naked? 

This post is all about passing and being strong enough to handle it when you think you don't.   As Kelly says, above, most see her as 100% female, without a hint of the former "him".  The reality is that even she has moments when the dysphoria raises its ugly head, especially when swimming.  A really nice and honest post, from our friend, Kelly.

Hi Mom, It’s Your Daughter Stephie

Hi Mom, it’s your daughter, Stephie. I wanted to call you on Mother’s Day and tell you how much you have and still do mean to me. But, I’m scared. Will you know me? Will you know I’m your daughter? Will you know I am Stephie? 

 

In response to a suggestion from someone in her support group, Stephie shared her thoughts with us as she writes a letter to her mother, which will never be sent.  This may all sound confusing, but it's a post well worth reading and some may relate it to their own experiences with family.

Gendentity

The thing is it was such a proper full-on genuine British summer day that I just wanted to wear my denim shorts. You know, the ones with the turn ups, lovely soft stitching on the back pockets and the odd discrete blue crystal whether pocket studs would normally sit. They’re also the shorts that I’ve worn to the death with pocket linings that have split and hold nothing more than hopethat they’ll survive another wash.

 

 

Hannah, wearing her tee and denim shorts, and with her beautiful long hair getting a bit of curl due to the humidity, looked a bit more feminine than usual when she went to visit her Mum by the sea.  How did this go?  How did her Mum react?  Go here for the rest of the story which is, as usual, wonderfully written in a manner in which you, the reader, might have actually been right there with them.

Dating Sites

So I have been separated for about two years now. I haven’t really been looking hard as I was waiting for my divorce to be final. I have never cheated on her and won’t start. However, I decided that there is no reconciliation in the future, so decided to put myself out there. 

 

It's so hard to meet a life-partner as you get older.  Emma has checked out the Zoosk, Match, and HER dating sites and has a few comments.

A Bridge too far.

When I first started venturing out in the early mornings as Susie, sometime in mid-2019, it was often those two nature reserves and trails that I headed for, where I could walk for an hour or two and not encounter anyone apart from a few intrepid joggers and early morning dog walkers.

 

Susie had to curtail her walks due to Covid restrictions, but she's back on the quiet nature trails and has included some lovely pictures.
 

An Actual Transgender Widow

When asked how she's been able to handle my transition, she'll tell you that she had to, first, mourn the loss of the man she married.

 

 

Cyrsti blogs about the subject, based on a comment from Connie.
 

Lessons Learned: Avoid Purging

If we’re not okay about who we are yet, and that we don’t have the support we need, we can’t cope with the pressure. That stress pushes us to the drastic action: often, throwing it all away in a purge. I would add here that I absolutely do not judge anyone who’s purged.

Oh, I'm so glad that there is no judgement from Lynn, for I am certainly among the guilty.  This is an excellent post that I'm sure many can relate to.

Three decades and hundreds of transfeminine breast augmentations show rare regret and trends toward larger implants

Our anatomical baseline is very different from that of adult cis women, with a recent study finding that 7 in 10 trans women developed breasts of less than an A-cup after three years of feminizing hormone therapy, and only 58% stating that they were satisfied with their breast size.
 

Great blog post, from Zinnia Jones, which includes links to various studies done recently.  If you're thinking about BA, you'll want to read this one.

Proud to be trans?

So you can't really be proud to be trans. Unless you're a total narcissist, which I think is what the traditional sin/failing of pride is really all about. 

 

Some interesting thoughts, from Sue.  If you're questioning her comment, above, she explains it well in this post.
 

Confidence!

Perhaps my first transgender girlfriend who used to meet up with me in straight  sports bars said it the best, I passed out of pure stubbornness.  A nice way of saying I wasn't the best looking woman in the room but a woman none the less.
 

Confidence....so easy to say the word but when you first step out, it all seems to go away!  

For Katie

She was buried in a military cemetery under her birth name.  So the name Katie Ward passes into memory, kept only by those who knew her Truth.  I don't know how many of her family knew about Katie.  I think her daughter did.  In any case, we the transgender community have a responsibility to not just keep her memory alive, but to rise to the challenge that her service demands.  She showed us how caring and helping others can be done, and it's up to us to step up and continue her work.
 

 

Sophie lost her mentor, Katie.  This post is a wonderful tribute to Katie.

Yes, kids like mine ARE everywhere!

Earlier this year, parents from around the world shared their stories with me about raising their beautiful trans children. 

A wonderful post from a wonderful mom.  Hopefully, you can read the New York Times links.

Some Me Time

The sea breeze had been blowing my hair all over the place so I put a hair tie in, low down and allowed my hair to drape over my left shoulder. With that top and my hair in it’s more feminine form there was no hiding that femininity away.

 

 

I've said it so many times before....Hannah has such a way with words.  Her writing makes you feel like you're there with her.  This one starts of with a dream of living in the city, followed by life in the country and ending with a walk on the beach.  Go here to enjoy Hannah's writing style and her Me time.

9 Years Blogging - Back Again For One Weekend Only

It's been about 9 years since I started this blog. How time flies! I feel like I should do some kind of retrospective or something, but life has pretty much stood still for the last 15 months or so, so there isn't really anything to reflect on apart from the amount of time I've spent at home and all of the junk food I've eaten (big thanks to Just Eat and Deliveroo!).

It's a little bit about the past year (not doing much), a bit about shopping, and a lot about makeup.  Our Part Time Girl has an update for us.

Oh, and while you're visting her site, be sure to check out her detailed personal T-History page.