Transition Minus The Angst

If you believe what the media tells us, transsexuals live in a world filled with angst. Their lives have been unbearable, so unbearable that they have to change gender or die trying. Well of course, a simple yet heartbreaking tale is what sells air time isn't it.

While that narrative might hold true for some, it is important to let the world in on an important fact: Transition is not the same for everyone, and definitely not filled with tragedy for all. In particular, not for our friend Vulnavia at Scheherezade's Sister.

If you missed reading it when she posted, head on over to get your reality check:  So Very, Very Tragic.

A question of direction

    We believe that our community has become not as happy a place as it could be.

    Some of the writers whose blogs we feature have been getting too personal in their animosity towards each other and in turn some of those writers have taken issue at a rather insulting level with us because their foes are also featured by us.

    We do not take sides and we act in no official capacity, we are a group of unpaid blogging enthusiasts who maintain what is simply an aggregator of blog feeds from all corners of our sphere. We do not write the content in the T-Central feed save for that from our own blogs, and except where we feature a piece in an article of our own we do not endorse any particular viewpoint.

    We thus are not amused that the schoolyard tiffs of those around us have spilled into our inboxes. We have our own battles to fight in our paths through this mess, and this is not helping.

    So what is to be done?

    T-Central is our show, collectively we run it. All four of us equally, we are not a hierarchy. And though we have our differences and argue on all sorts of issues, we are in agreement on one thing: we do not appreciate it when one of our number is singled out for personal attack.

    Since this site is ours with which to do as we wish, we could simply get busy with the big shiny red button and delete the feed of any writer who incurs our displeasure. But that doesn't feel right. We've removed people from our listings before, and learned that to be a rocky road indeed as we descend into a nightmarish spiral of if-you-banned-her-why-don't-you-ban-her accusation and spite.

    We also feel uncomfortable at removing writers from our list because even those who have given us the most grief have shown themselves capable of writing the kind of top-quality content we wish we saw more often.

    So we've agreed upon an alternative. We're going to ask our readers to decide our editorial direction through a poll.

    We're going to give you two choices.

    The first is the red button, vote for that one to give us carte blanche to remove anyone we see fit from the listing.

    The second is our preferred option, to establish a separate section for troublesome writers way down at the bottom of the page below all the other blogs. A sin bin, if you will. If a writer violates our inclusion criteria they will find themselves in that section. If they continue to do so they will find themselves removed entirely from our listings, however if it proves to be a temporary infraction they will find themselves back in the main listings.

    If you are a regular reader of this site, please take a moment to vote. We appreciate your input and we will abide by the choice of our readers. Please vote only once, the software we are using detects multiple votes from the same IP address and invalidates them.

Pro-Nouns

Most in the transgender community can relate to the incorrect use of pronouns and misgendering of a transperson.  It's difficult, however, for someone who is not trans to let go of the pronoun, or name, that they have used for years when referring to a son, daughter, brother, sister, good friend, etc.  As we all have read in so many blogs, it hurts the most when the misgendering is coming from the immediate family.

Gretchen, a cis-woman, has a child, born female, who feels he is a boy.  Gretchen, however, just can't let go of the "she" when referring to her child.  She explains to us just why this is so difficult for her.  She's losing her daughter.  She's been through the denial stage of the five stages of grief but this is one that she still has to work out with herself.  To quote Gretchen,

It may be selfish, but it's the last thing I have that I'm grasping onto.

I think it's safe to say that many transsexuals are so focused on their transition that they often overlook the fact that a transition is not just about "me".  For family and friends, it is also means a transition.

Please take a look at Gretchen's blog, Trans-Parent.  It's written from the heart.  Her current post is Pro-Nouns.

Strength Through Peace of Mind

In a wonderful post, Katey talks about the way she first treated her childhood fears and relates that to how she has been treating her transition.  In dealing with life issues, she would force herself to do whatever she had her mind set to do.  In her words, she has been a "man on a mission", in whatever she has deemed a goal, yet never taking the time to enjoy the satisfaction of her accomplishments.  Although she didn't use this phrase, I think Kate has realized that now, she needs to take some time to "smell the roses".  

In some ways, I see myself in Kate's post.  You may too.  Go here to read "Strength Through Peace of Mind".

One Weekend a Month

Good writing deserves to be featured, even if it comes from a blog not currently listed on T-Central.

Such is the case with Jamie's latest post.  Check out One Weekend a Month, on Play Girl.  I'm sure many of you will relate in some way to this story.

Jamie has the content warning page pop up when you go to Play Girl, and for good reason.  This post, however, with the exception of one "F" word is, in my opinion, is just fine to open up in your browser.

FTM Detransitioner : The Subcultural Pressure On Young Women To Medically “Transition”

In Lori's latest post, On Your Mark, Get Set...TRANSITION!, she asks the question:

Should those considering transition go full speed ahead?  Or should they put it off for as long as possible until they feel the dysphoria is so overwhelming that they have no other option but to transition?  Should some people be discouraged from transitioning?

There have been several excellent comments filed, and you might want to take a look if you haven't already seen them.

I have often wondered if those, who transitioned at a very young age, did so with a combination of reckless abandon and the naivity of youth.  GallusMag, in a post written a few days ago on GenderTrender, takes a look at this question as it applies to the female-to-male transitioner.  Included are a couple of YouTube videos, which clearly show the irreversible effects of testosterone on the female de-transitioner.  

Check out: FTM Detransitioner : The Subcultural Pressure On Young Women To Medically “Transition”

Let's Get Real

The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God. 

In her post, Let's Get Real, Alicia discusses the Old Testament as it pertains to the scripture quoted above.  She comments that the, "very same law book this came from i.e. the old testament also would point out to the Churches that have Bar b que dinners made with smoked Pork Butt is also unacceptable".

It's an interesting look at some of the "laws" of the Old Testament and how some interpret those laws today.

Care to Share?

Rhiann has assembled a couple of surveys.  If you care to share, go here.

Those who stay with us after moving on

    If you are a seasoned T-Central reader you will probably be familiar with the different flavours of blog that we follow. There are a few that specialise on one subject such as clothing or presentation, others carrying day-to-day musings on gender, quite a few transition blogs and a sprinkling of activist blogs.
    All of the above blogs are very interesting to read, but there is a further category of blog that I would like to draw your attention to.
    It can sometimes be a sad facet of our community, that a lot of us move on. So often when the steady flow of transition-related events to relate dries up or the flame of activism dims, the blogging output dies down and eventually ceases. But what if the writer's motivation in blogging was sustained by the blogging itself and not by that one aspect of their life? At that point they cease to be a trans blogger and become instead a blogger like any other, but who just happens to be trans. Sure you might see the occasional post in this direction but mostly they write about everyday stuff that interests them, just getting on with their lives.
    I hope you have some favourites of your own within this category of blogger, if you do please share them with us in the comments on this piece. I in turn would like to draw your attention to a couple I follow from my part of the world, both Dru and Shirley Anne prove that there is life beyond all of this mess.
    And that, to me at least, is priceless.