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Monday, October 3, 2016

Transition Ends, Now What?

So if you are thinking about transitioning, just starting transition/HRT, or have been at it for a little while, just know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and that light is reachable. It’s a long road. It’s a hard road, even without a divorce, a lost job, alcohol struggles and a sexual assault. It might be one of the hardest things you ever do, but it does end. 

In this fairly long but well written post, Emma takes you through her past, which included alcoholism:

Go to AA and feel emptiness there. Feel emptiness everywhere. They don’t have what I need. Alcohol isn’t my problem right now, this trauma is. Decide a week later that one drink couldn’t hurt. The world doesn’t end. Drinking must be okay now, even though we feel so sad and empty inside. Another day another drink. Still under control. Another day another drink. Still under control. Another day and this time two drinks. Still under control, but more fun. Another day and this time 4 drinks, maybe not so under control anymore. Next night, 5 drinks. Need to dial it back. Next night 4 drinks. Why did I drink when I was hung over? Two days of no drinking followed by 5 days straight of drinking. That was just a fun week, right? We don’t have a problem, we got this under control. Two more days with no drinks and another five straight of drinking. Maybe we should go back to AA. More drinking and more lies as we try to cover for being hung over. This is getting out of control, life is becoming unmanageable. Decide to drink Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday. On Saturday drink all day long, so much it makes us sick, and then drink some more after being sick. Okay, that’s enough. We have to stop. Time to go back to AA.

Life ends up pretty good, however, with a very successful transition.  Rarely does anyone on the street suspect her history and she's very thankful for that and the ability to pass well in society as a woman. 

Among other things, Emmz considers herself an activist, yet she's pondering the idea of shutting down her blog.  Be sure to let her know what you think about all of this, but first take the time to read, Transition Ends, Now What?

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for featuring me, Calie. I think I have found my reason to keep writing.


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