Important Update on Another Documented Case of Approved LDS Sex Change

I wanted to stay female for eternity. I prayed fervently and tearfully for many many weeks before I “felt the answer” I needed to ask. Prayerfully I wrote a letter to my Bishop asking about my eternal status and others with gender or physical abnormalities.


Every once in a while, I like to feature one of the religious based trans blogs which are listed on the right side of the T-Central home page.  In the past year, I've had two transwomen, both Mormon, who have just had nightmare situations with their church and their families.  Featuring this post seemed appropriate.

A New Normal - Standing Out and Blending In

The whole day was perfect day of standing out and blending - A new normal established.






As is the case with every post Rhonda does,  A New Normal - Standing Out and Blending In, is uplifting and stands as an example for all of us.

befriending your dysphoria

I can find no better examples of people who have accomplished this than Stana and Rhonda (who I will soon be meeting in person) who have come to terms with their reality and embrace it rather than reject it. I know I tried the alternative route and it only breeds discontent as you attempt to reject something that is intrinsically hard wired.


Joanna certainly needs to add herself to that list.  She has certainly befriended her dysphoria.

Pestered

There's something of a moral issue here: should one 'monetise' a blog, knowing that at least some of one's readership may follow up an advertising link and find themselves wasting money on goods or services they wouldn't otherwise have been aware of? I'd feel very uncomfortable about that.



This is a post, by a trans blogger, for bloggers in general.  There's no TG content, but the subject matter is relevant to all bloggers.  

Do you want to monetize your blog?  Lucy doesn't and T-Central's admins, from the very beginning with our founder Lori, have always declined any suggestions that we run advertisements.  Nevertheless, many bloggers to accept offers to monetize, and that's OK.  Lucy feels pestered.  How about you?

Published in a Journal

First and foremost, remember that a transgender person is a human being- they are not a freak or “demonic abomination.” They are often very vulnerable as they try to find a solution to a pain they can’t describe. They will probably be embarrassed and afraid. They will make excuses like “it’s for a friend” or “I’m doing a report for school.” It is critical to treat a Transgender person just like any other library patron: with dignity and respect. Also very important: NEVER reveal to others that the patron is transgender if the person confides that to you. The effects could be disastrous for your patron, and could open your library to legal action.





I'm always looking for unique blog posts and Sophie's, Published in a Journal, certainly qualifies.  Sophie was asked to write some guidelines for librarians on dealing with transgender visitors.  How great is that?  I certainly remember spending hours in libraries subtly searching the stacks, in the dark corners, for books that might explain why I am the way I am.

In this post, Sophie explains why she wrote the guidelines and she published what she wrote in her blog.

Let’s talk about the challenges of Phalloplasty

.....in a world that places so much social emphasis on what is in a person’s pants, it is impossible to ask trans people to feel okay with what’s down there, even if their dysphoria is not fundamentally physical rather than social. I think this varies from person to person and some trans people admittedly feel a profound, instinctive sense of something missing from their bodies long before it can possibly be the result of socialisation.


Sam has done a very interesting and well written post about a subject, the challenges of Phalloplasty, you don't see often in blogs.  Transwomen will also find this post of interest.

A great new book for the “wife of” and those transitioning

A wonderful new book – a very welcome addition to the “wife of” collection – gives us a look at how home life (with two children!) after a transition can ultimately be uplifting and compassionate.






This is a short review of a new book.  The post includes a link to a video by the author of the book.

Playing the Part?

Connie asked Cyrsti:

Just wondering....Do you consider yourself to have been playing the part of an alpha male before deciding to transition?





This one is a good question, from Connie to Cyrsti.  There are plenty of former alpha males out there, including one of our former bloggers who was arguably about as alpha has it gets. Read, Playing the Part?, to find out if Cyrsti was an alpha.

No, trans women are not men and trans men are not women

You meet them online, you meet them in various social settings: The people who think that gender is so simple that it is only a matter of what’s between your legs. Here is my response to one such individual.

 “Transwomen are male, Transmen are female, there is nothing wrong with that fact at all.”



Hmmmm.....Just what is Jack trying to say here?  No, trans women are not men and trans men are not women is an excellent, thought provoking post from the one and only Jack Molay.

Transphobia

A man in the shopping mall who had never seen me before hissed “f–king nonce” as he passed me, and I wondered what I had done that he so hated me. A group of drunk young men on the train, and one shouts, “Oh look, it’s a tranny”, and they continue shouting until they get off. 







I had to look up the meaning of "Nonce", a slang word in the UK that has not yet made it to California, and hopefully never will.

In the United Kingdom, nonce is a slang word for a pariah within a community of prisoners, typically a sex offender, child sexual abuser or one who has turned state's evidence.  [Wikipedia]

What Clare has to say in this post just made me sick.  I must admit that my part of California is quite accepting of transgender folks, in general.  As a result, my ears have never heard the kind of comments Clare quotes in her post.   

That Clare has had to endure such horrible abuse is just sad.  I wanted to be sure to include her picture in this post so you could see for yourself just how lovely she is.

Clare's post, Transphobia II, is the current post on her site.  Transphobia I dates back a couple of years.

Being Misgendered After Almost 2 Years of HRT

The lesson here is two fold, I think. First, no matter how “passable” a person might become and no matter how privileged they appear in that regard, they are likely still suffering from being misgendered from time to time. 



This is another post about passing and being mis-gendered.  Emma continues her thoughts, above, with this statement:

.....I see transgender women who are so completely feminine that I become envious of either their genetics or their financial affluence that’s permitted them the procedures I cannot afford that I forget that they are still fighting the same fight as me, to be gendered correctly. 

I have been with absolutely gorgeous transwomen who have had the financial resources to transform their bodies, yet they still (at least in their minds) feel that they are mis-gendered from time to time. 

Congratulations to Emma, for taking it all in stride for Being Misgendered After Almost 2 Years of HRT.

What’s in a name?

You may like the name ‘Gerry-Lynn’, and see it as somehow perhaps appropriate, some how feminine, girly and cute, but somehow, despite the absence of any clear thoughts of an alternative until now, I have gradually started to take a dislike to it, hence the branding of it as, for want of a better term, an unintended parody of my feminine side.


Our blogger has decided on adopting a new name, after going by Gerry-Lynn for many years.  Now I know your wondering just what that new name is.  Go to, What’s in a name?, to find out.

the recognition factor

The other day over lunch I walked into a place and the young man said "Bonjour Madame...er monsieur". He had apologized profusely because I was not presenting female in the least. I laughed and looked at him and said "you can address me in any way you want". 


I don't know how Joanna does it.  One post per day, and they're all worth taking the time to read.  This time, it's all about being (or not being) recognized in public.

The Cost of Being You

I want to inform you, kind readers, of the undeniable factor in a transgender person’s life, cost/expense/toll/levy. Money will be your foe and friend in transition. So, I am going to try to document a series of  honest reviews of the fees incurred so that you aren’t stunned but prepared. I will give you honest, unabashed costs as I encounter them myself. This will be upon my firsthand experience, so it will apply mostly to MtF transition.


Beth has really done a nice job documenting the costs of being trans.  So far, she has done posts on clothing and cosmetics.  She gives tips on actual costs and where to purchase.  I wanted to wait until she has finished the series, but it's too good to wait.  

The Cost of Being You – Clothes 

The Cost of Being You – Cosmetics

I'm making note of your tips and where to purchase, Beth!!

Now, who is going to do a post on the cost of purging?

New natal male detransitioner community

Recently several people have suggested the need for more community for male detransitioners. I agree with this as the lack of community has sometimes made things more difficult for me. So I have created a new message board for us to create community.


TWT has created a private forum for "......natal male folk who are detransitioning back to male after transitioning male to female, those that are contemplating detransition, those that are considering transition but looking for other ways to work with their gender dysphoria, those that are transitioned and happy with it, but still have gender dysphoria and want to find other ways to work through their gender dysphoria, and to create community for male detransitioners."

Since I fall under one of those categories, I've registered.  You can to, if interested.  More here.

Feminine Differential - Turf Refugee

My high heel Waterloo moment - outdoors and on grass. As your heels are slowly sinking into the turf, any semblance of being graceful is near impossible.






Rhonda says she's "good" in heels, but she found her Waterloo.   Turf Refugee is another good post from Rhonda's Feminine Differential series.

I Got a Brain

You don’t know what privilege is until you gain or lose it.

A number of my trans men friends say once they transitioned it is almost like they got a brain. One friend said that it is amazing anything he said people listen to him, all of sudden he is an expert in everything.


A few thoughts, from Diana, about privledge....from the Female-to-Male and from the Male-to-Female point of view.

The Tale of Two Doctors

There once were two doctors. One was called Ken and the other one was called Ray and they worked in the same place. They tried to understand why some people were the way they were. Ray decided that you were more likely to be gay if you had older brothers. He also decided that trans women were really men who were really excited by the thought of being women or else some kind of gay guy who didn’t know when to stop.



Helen has written a brilliant piece of satire, involving Ray Blanchard and Kenneth Zucker....two of Canada's finest psychologists (just a bit of my own satire).  This one is about their theories on transgender children.  It's really worth reading.  The post is full of links and each one is worth checking out.  Do take some time to read The Tale of Two Doctors, written by Helen Belcher.   

Helen's blog, by the way, is listed on the right side of the T-Central home page in the Trans-Related News Links section.

Project Sultana: A Plea for Help

Let me be blunt.  Transgender persons in Kazakhstan do not have a right to higher education.  Correction:  even secondary education is problematic at best.  This is my personal plea to my reading public to help Sultana Kali, a talented, dedicated young transgender woman from provincial Kazakhstan, continue her education in the United States.

Project Sultana: A Plea for Help, is a touching story and so well written, from RM, a U.S. Foreign Service Officer who is openly transgender and who transitioned in 2011 to living full time as female in the workplace

And Now You Are a Woman

I have travelled extensively as a woman and have learned to accept that I no longer hold a door and allow anyone to walk through ahead of me unless they are my senior by a lot, or are infirm. I am a woman, and that means that often the door gets held for me. It is part of our culture to give some deference to women. I always say thank you. 





Does operating a now blower or chopping wood make you less of a woman?  Halle has a few things to say about that.  Her post is titled, And Now You Are a Woman, but we all know that she's been a woman, in mind and spirit, since the day she was born.

My Gender and Sexuality

I remember as a teen going to the shrink who was trying to cure me and I told him that I would only crossdress at certain times. At that point I realized that there might be a sexual component to it. It was the late 1960's and I though I might be gay.




I certainly relate to Susan's comment, above.  In this post, Susan talks about her gender and sexuality.

Observations

All and all this day that I thought we going to turn out to be crap has become an amazing day one filled with good friends and great feelings.”I get by with a little help from my friends”




I like feel good posts.  Aleana has a new book and also had a great day.  She tells you all about it in, Observations.

 

Detransition

She bears the scars of transition- chest masculinisation, T use- and has a deep voice and facial hair. She is forging a new path: transition is well-travelled, with many books and support groups on what it means, but on detransition she found only a few blogs.


Clare discusses the subject of detransition and specifically mentions Crash, a female to male blogger who transitioned and has since detransitioned back to female.  Crash's blog is listed on T-Central.

Why

It all started with a post on All About Lucy then this was picked up by T Central who passed on the challenge about why some people appear to stop going out "dressed" the challenge was then picked up by Joanna Santos on her Blog Musings from my everyday life.   Well reading these has made me ponder and consider this question, and how it has affected me over the years.    So I now pick up the baton and add my own considerations, very much based on my own experiences of over 50 years of trying to sort out my own gender expression.



Paula is adding her own thoughts to this discussion.  She has some good points too.  Check out Why, for more.

That Moment When You Realize

I’m new, quite new in fact, but the desires have spanned decades. Like so many on here whose own stories are very compelling. They come from hard backgrounds, tough times and a locked closet of ten bolts, locks and rivets so that no one can pry that door open. Not all of our paths to this point are the same, but a lot of us have emerged from similar backgrounds.

This is a short guest post from the Crossdresser Heaven site, but it says a lot.  I'm sure many of you can relate to That Moment When You Realize. 

a blending

An interesting thing is happening to me: as I have fully embraced being transgender my male and female anima are becoming blended. 


Although the URL for Joanna's blog is Joanna be free, it does appear that she is at peace with herself, in the blending mode.

My encounter with the police

I suspect that an encounter with the police is one of the most frightening situations that most TGs can imagine. Part of the concern is real as one does hear stories of TGs who have been insulted, harassed, arrested, or even injured by police, especially TGs of color. The biggest part of the fear is simply that someone in a position of authority will discover the “real you” and you will be officially “outed”.  I know I always had such a fear and so made sure that I obey every traffic rule when out in girl mode.


It's been a while since Robin has posted anything.  She's changed the name of her blog and started anew.  In this post, she writes about her encounter with the police.  How did it go?  You're going to have to go to Robin's blog to find out!

Mental Changes

I am 1 week away from completing HRT month 7.  I am now beginning to notice the mental changes in me. I am sure there are even more changes that I have not recognized yet.









Mental changes, is another update from Susan.

Defining sexual orientation…

C: Not a person alive hasn’t felt at some point even if it was brief and fleeting some sort of carnal sexual attraction to another person male or female.
Me: *asexual here* no brief or fleeting carnal sexual attraction.
R: But you have two kids….so….

Defining sexual orientation… is a good post, from Michelle, on a subject we don't see much of in the T-Blog world.

Not A Life Choice – Just Let Us Be Who We Are!

 .......it is time to awaken my inner Boudica. I will fight for my right to exist, ON MY TERMS!! I will spend the week waiting for the doctor’s response to the GLAD lawyers putting together information and evidence to present to the Attorney General. At First Event last year, she said that should experience discrimination of any sort, to let her office know. I feel the hoops we have to go through just to be recognized officially as who we are, is discriminatory, especially if we have to have someone else okay our existence.


In Not A Life Choice – Just Let Us Be Who We Are!, Emma discusses the highs and lows of changing her identity from male to female.  She has some good suggestions and also ends with an update on her transition.

Transsexualism as an Intersex Condition

To this investigator there seems evidence enough to consider trans persons as individuals intersexed in their brains and scant evidence to think their gender transition is a simple and unwarranted social choice.





There are a few of us out there, including Zoe, who have have researched endlessly in an attempt to discover why we are the way we are.  I have always believed that, at least for some including myself, there is a link between transsexualism and the intersex condition.  For those who want to read more about this, go to Zoe's post for the link.